SAHMs- do you have any baby-sitting help during the weekdays

[ourbabygirl]

other than preschool for your 3-5 year olds?

I'm considering putting DS (will be 3 this fall) in a small morning daycare-type thing at a local church, once a week from 9-12. I'm feeling a bit guilty about it, though, as I don't know anyone else IRL who does this/ gets any baby-sitting help with the kids during the day on weekdays. I think it could be good for DS to get some more socialization around other kids (away from DD and me), and good for me, as well. It's $16 per day (3 hours). Both of my kids have missed/ will miss the preschool cut-off by a month, so this is kind of an alternative, and it's nice that they don't need to be potty-trained yet, just in case.

Anyone done something like this?

[brittone2]

A few months ago we finally found date night sitters (adults, both are teachers). I've been trying to find some responsible teens to use as well, particularly as mother's helpers for when DH travels, as our date night sitters have day jobs.

I put out a request on one of my local HSing boards and found two teens who will work as mother's helpers and quoted me a rate of $5/hr for 3 kids, and their mom will provide transportation. They also sit for $7/hr, which is great as our date night sitters are usually not free on Sat. nights. We pay double that to the adult teachers we are using, so I'll probably pay them more than they quoted me.

My plan is to give them some hours this spring and summer. Once I see them interact with my kids a bit, we will use them as full sitters as needed. Another local HSing mom told me they are great, so I'm hoping it works out.

I have all 3 home with me full time since we HS. SAHMs need breaks too :)

Totally fine to do a MDO thing. Lots of people do.

[scrooks]

I don't know of any programs around us like that but I certainly would take advantage of it without any guilt! Sounds great! You may also want to check with preschools in your area...I know ours takes kids mid year that have just turned 3 (most of those kids end up going back into the 3s again in the following fall) but that may be an option for you.

[wellyes]

$16 for 9 to noon? I would jump on that in a heartbeat.

I drop my 2 year old at the gym daycare a couple days a week for 60-90 minutes. It's not for his good, because I personally don't think that a kid under 4-5 NEEDS to be in a program. But, it is fun for him, I don't it does a bit of harm, and it helps keep me sane. So that is good.


I know several SAHMs who do preschool 3x a week and an alternative mother's morning out at least one other day. It's not uncommon, and it's not a bad thing, if you can swing it.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

not a sahm anymore but i had a sitter come 2 mornings a week. so useful and worth it. i ised the tume to cook or run errands, sometimes the gym. and no not common around here either....though around here it is common to regularly give kids fast food and watch tons of tv. also many haf family help whicg i didnot. so i didnt feel guilty as i felt it allowed me to be a better mom and give tgem moer healthy meals and to spwnd more quality time with them

[westwoodmom04]

not a sahm anymore but i had a sitter come 2 mornings a week. so useful and worth it. i ised the tume to cook or run errands, sometimes the gym. and no not common around here either....though around here it is common to regularly give kids fast food and watch tons of tv. also many haf family help whicg i didnot. so i didnt feel guilty as i felt it allowed me to be a better mom and give tgem moer healthy meals and to spwnd more quality time with them

I did this too, but in the afternoons. I was never able to use the time my dd was in preschool for much outside the house because ds took a nap then. I had a sitter come once a week so I can run errands, get a haircut, etc. . I would also do a mommy's morning out. Having time to yourself can be a real sanity saver.

[icunurse]

When it was only DS, I put him into a Mothers Day Out Program two days/week from 9-12. No guilt at all here. I needed some time to get things done, run errands since I do not have any help here. He had so much fun with his little friends, playing and doing art and eating snacks. Plus he had some speech delays and the best thing for him was to be around other kids his age to encourage more speech. When he started preschool twice a week, I kept him in MDO one day/week because he loved it so much! When DD came along, I did the same thing. To me, being around other kids in a socially stimulating setting is not the same as a babysitter.

[nfowife]

Both my older kids were in MDO by 18 months 2 days/wk. my youngest will do nursery school 2 mornings a week in the fall. I think you should go for it and if you can afford to do 2 mornings vs 1. That way it will become more familiar. Once a week is hard as its a long time in between and can make the transition more difficult.

[Tea4two]

I'm a SAHM and my DS goes to preschool 2 mornings a week. It's good for both of us. I would go for it! Just because you are a SAHM doesn't mean you have to be with your kids every second. Nothing to feel guilty about.

[KrisM]

There is a Mother's Morning Out program that I've used for a few years. It's 9-11:30 for $10 and is drop-in. DS2 goes a couple times a month - usually when I lose my regular days for a field trip or something.

DS2 is in preschool 3-4 half days a week, so I already have plenty of time on my own :). but, he has a great time there, so he goes.

[sarahsthreads]

Up until this point I've only ever hired a babysitter because DH and I both needed to be somewhere without the kids at the same time, and never during the day.

But...

I'm probably going to be hiring a mother's helper some afternoons in the near future so that I can get some work done cleaning and organizing things before the baby comes while the kids are occupied doing something more active than watching TV. I let them play outside without me being out there when I'm on the first floor and can see where they are at all times, but I wouldn't be able to immerse myself in clearing out my craft room on the second floor while they did that. Our usual teenage babysitter suggested that she'd be happy to help out like this if I needed her to - I hadn't even thought of it before she did, but it makes a *lot* of sense! She could even walk them to the nearby playground for the afternoon, which they would adore.

I'd totally jump on the $16/morning daycare for a day or two a week if I were you!

Sarah :)

[SnuggleBuggles]

Ds2 started going to preschool 2 mornings/ week at 20 months. I also used babysitting at the gym. Sometimes I begged for help so I could volunteer or an appointment too. I see nothing wrong with preschool, babysitting...

[amom526]

I started sending ds1 to a home base playgroup 3 mornings a week when he was 20 months. I needed the break and was very pregnant with ds2 at the time. He still goes, and I'm sending him to Montessori a few mornings a week in September for the 2-3 year old class.

[niccig]

I had a babysitter one day a week from about when DS was 6 months until he was 3yrs old. Then he went to preschool and she graduated from college. I used the time to volunteer, do appointments etc.

I say go for it.

[bostonsmama]

I just joined a gym with childcare last Fall, and I get up to 2hrs every day if I want. Although it doesn't enable me to run errands, DD is pretty great with most things (except for shopping, although we do it just fine when the budget allows). I go about 3 days a week, take an hour-long class, then shower and blowdry my hair, put on my makeup for the day, and pick her up & either take her to lunch or go to the park. Showering/primping is the one luxury I missed most...well...shaving my legs and actually getting in time for a proper blow-out. I've lost inches, have killer biceps/triceps and dynamite abs. I don't know if you could get that one day a week for 3hrs. See, at home during DD's naps, I just blow away my time on FB (or online shopping since I'm not a fan of going clothes shopping with a toddler). Having childcare AT the gym forces me to workout. I love it, and it's only $14 more per month (per kid) than a normal club membership. FWIW, DD was too attached to do the childcare before 2yrs. As it was, it took us 3 months to stop the meltdowns when I dropped her off, and I often couldn't finish a class before they came and got me. But now she hugs them goodbye and talks about them so fondly. It's nice. I was a wreck before I could workout regularly. I did hire in-home childcare (mother's helper) when I moved houses. I just couldn't handle everything I needed to do and parent and run around getting signatures, meeting home inspectors, realtors, etc. THEN, mobility was nice. The mother's helper saved my sanity since DH was out of town on business almost the entire move. She took DD at 6am, gave her breakfast, played with her, and even did dishes, laundry, packed a box or two, all so I could sleep in til 7:30, get showered, get to appointments, and get home before noon. I had her come M-Thur from 6am to 10am for 3 or 4 weeks. It was the best $500 I ever spent.

[fedoragirl]

I just asked DH that we need to hire someone once a week so I can go to the gym, at the very least. I don't feel guilty about it. I love my kids but they don't have to be attached to my hip 24/7.
DD, 3, will start a preschool program for half a day. I am choosing to keep her there 3 days a week although I have been asked to leave her there all week. DS will stay with MIL one day a week and if she can't keep him, we will hire someone.

[indigo99]

We call it preschool, but ours is a mother's day out program at a local church too. DS goes from 9-2 twice a week. DS2 will be going on the same 2 days per week starting in the fall. Three hours isn't going to be much time for you to actually get anything done if you're taking/picking DC up, but it's better than nothing. It's REALLY good for him to get the socialization with other kids and get used to listening to other adults, following directions, behaving etc. We pay $200/month.

[daniele_ut]

DD goes to preschool 3 mornings a week and on those days I typically head to the gym after I drop her off and leave DS2 in the gym daycare for an hour to work out. I bring them both to the gym daycare on Thursdays when I go to Zumba. I have no other help with them during the week.

[lmwbasye]

Nope. No school here (we homeschool). No help as I have no friends or family around. And my DH is deployed.

I'm exhausted.

[HannaAddict]

Yes. A thousand times yes. If I didn't, I wouldn't be able to volunteer at my older children's school, workout, or get stuff done more quickly. We have three kids, the youngest is three, and it allows him to have an afternoon nap in his crib and not be carted all over in the car all day. Very glad we are able to have help. Even a day or two a week is a big help and I would do it in a heart beat.

ETA It is totally common in our neighborhood too and many, not all or most, but many SAHM's have full time nannies. Mom and nanny are often home at the same time but having help gets more done and while a luxury, is pretty common around here. I know when I only had one child, I thought it was strange (and grew up where no one had any help!), but I get it now.

[georgiegirl]

DS started in a parents morning out program at 2 that was 2 mornings a week. One of those days I volunteered in DD's kindergarten class. I loved it! I'd definitely put my child in some sort of program/babysitting so I could get stuff done.

[BunnyBee]

I'm on my third kid. Here's my "experienced" advice: if you can afford help, be it cleaning or cooking or child care, and it makes your family run more smoothly, go for it. :)

[lchang25000]

I am a SAHM and DS1 goes to preschool on tuesdays, wednesdays, and thursdays from 9-1pm. My nanny is here every weekday except for Thursdays. She has an almost 2 year old daughter she brings with her everytime she is here. She watches both boys on Mondays and Fridays, then only the baby on Tuesdays and Wednesdays while DS1 is at preschool. I get every morning to myself except for Thursdays when she is not here. I get a lot of stuff done when she is here (gym classes, training, errands, cooking, resting, etc). She also comes to watch the boys either on Friday or Saturday nights so DH and I can have date night.

[essnce629]

I'm a SAHM and DS2 is in preschool M, W, F from 9am to 1:30pm. Our housekeeper is also our babysitter for our once a month date nights on the weekend, but I occasionally use her during the week if I have an appointment for myself or there's some kind of parent-only event at DS1's school. That's pretty rare though-- once every other month or so. I don't have a babysitter during the week that comes on a regular basis.

[niccig]

I'm on my third kid. Here's my "experienced" advice: if you can afford help, be it cleaning or cooking or child care, and it makes your family run more smoothly, go for it. :)

:yeahthat: If you can afford the help, then do it. There's no prizes for doing it all and being exhausted.

If you can't afford it, can you see about a babysitting swap? I used to do that with my playgroup when DS was little. We would swap babysitting so had a few hours to get something done etc.

I also used the gym childcare to work out and then have a shower where I could wash my hair and shave my legs w/o interruptions. Never thought I would think of YMCA showers as luxurious, but it was so good to not have to rush through getting ready.

[maestramommy]

Yes, I have a sitter that comes 2 afternoons a week.

[AngelaS]

No. We didn't do preschool either since we homeschool.

The things that kept me sane were consistent nap times and bed times.

[Melaine]

No, I don't but I think it's great if you have something like that and can afford it.

[mommyoftwo]

I feel guilty doing it but since the twins were born, I have help from 12-4 on M-F. Right now I mostly use it to catch up on sleep but I hope to have enough energy to go to the gym soon and I do use it to schedule appts and things where it's more difficult to take the babies with. I hope I won't need that much help forever but right now it's helping me survive newborn twins with chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. On days when I'm not so exhausted, it allows me to get a lot of things done around the house. I would not feel at all guilty about a couple mornings a week though especially at that price.

[anonomom]

We don't have a sitter, but not for lack of trying. Last summer I had a teenager come in to play with the kids a few times, and it was wonderful. I got so much done. Even if I could get someone in here for 4 hours a week it would make a huge difference for me. But finding that kind of help is really difficult, IME. The college kids in the next town over are not interested in driving 30 minutes for a gig when there are plenty of jobs right near campus.

That said, I passed on the opportunity to put DS in preschool next year. Our regular preschool was just too expensive for something he doesn't "need" (it was almost $400/month for 2 3-hour days).

[Twoboos]

When DD1 was in preschool 3 mornings/week, I got a babysitter for DD2 1 morning/week. It saved me.

There is nothing wrong with needing a break. Anyone with a WOTH or WAH job gets to leave their work at some point (evenings/weekends/days off)!