random advice --- this helped me with DS2

[hillview]

DS2 (may have ADHD/NLD) is 5.5 and sometimes when he has a chore (2x daily) it turns into a debate. Issue is he KNOWS he has to do the chore before TV but he wants to argue about it. This routine has been in place since September and the rules about it are posted in the house. I finally got some advice on what to do when the "you have to do your chore before you have free time" becomes a debate. So we'd get into this big discussion about why he has to and how it is the rule and how it isn't new and it isn't negotiable etc.

Me: DS2 you have to do xx chore before we watch TV (or have free time)
DS2: why do I have to, can't we just not do it this once
Me: DS2 you know this is the rule and you know I know this is the rule so what if I just give you a BIG hug and then you can do xx and then watch TV
DS2: ok

Um so NO idea why
a) I had not tried this before
b) this works

But, it does.

HTH someone!

[elliput]

:applause: Who cares why it works! I find myself doing similar things all the time with DD. Sometimes the strangest little things make a huge difference.

[crl]

I love it! And you get to give him a hug. Brilliant. :D


On a vaugely related note when ds was in the middle of the "why" phase he would get stuck on asking me why. And he would ask what a word meant. Then he would ask why. I started telling him, "because that's the agreed upon word in English.". For whatever reason that answer stopped the chain of "why?"

Catherine

[hillview]

I started telling him, "because that's the agreed upon word in English.". For whatever reason that answer stopped the chain of "why?"

Catherine
May have to borrow this. I get this a lot too ...

[PunkyBoo]

Love it! Reminds me of when Punkin was little and he'd get tired of walking somewhere but he was way to big and heavy for me to carry.
Punkin: Mama I can't walk any more my legs are tired.
me: Oh but can you run?
Without fail, he woukd start running and be laughing. And we'd get where we needed to be. :D

[jent]

DD has the same exact issue-- I'm trying it!

[gatorsmom]

I'll be trying this!

[queenmama]

On a vaugely related note when ds was in the middle of the "why" phase he would get stuck on asking me why. And he would ask what a word meant. Then he would ask why. I started telling him, "because that's the agreed upon word in English.". For whatever reason that answer stopped the chain of "why?"

Catherine

Parenting level: genius. That is the most annoying phase of parenting (so far! He's just entering the teen years. Yikes.), and I will be filing this gem away for future use.

OP, that's awesome. I especially love the hug! Maybe that's the trick?

Lara

[elektra]

My DS loves to argue about his PJs. I tell him he has to wear the long sleeve ones and he insists on the short sleeves. I have not given in until an unusually warm night recently, when he asked to wear the short sleeves and I said sure. He did not know what to do! He still wanted to argue! He was like, "are you sure you don't want me to wear the long sleeves???"
He must have gotten some comfort out of our little routine.
I really like the hug idea. Makes it part of the routine and hopefully gets them to the next step.

[Sweetum]

LOL
I'll try it. And let you know.