What replaces drinking alcohol when you want to give up drinking?

[bostonsmama]

I don't consider myself to have a habit of drinking, but DH and I (4 nights a week) will split a bottle of wine with dinner. Some Saturdays we'll have a cocktail together and sit out on the deck. 99% of our meals with family and friends involve wine. I never realized how ingrained the habit had become until I tried to stop while TTC#2. So many family members and friends are alcoholics (functioning), so I'm really sensitive to it, and I always want to be concious about my consumption. Now, I just feel left out.

So, for those who included wine and drinking as a lifestyle before pregnancy, what did you do to adjust to an alcohol free lifestyle? I thought about pouring myself a glass of seltzer water or juice or lemonade, but I've NEVER been a sweetened beverage drinker (I don't like to drink my calories). I wasn't a fan of those "Dry" sodas, either. I don't see a huge problem with an occasional glass of wine while pg, but it's the fact that I'm having a hard time letting go of the habit that makes me want to retrain my brain to find other ways to enjoy people and relax without a substance.

[infomama]

I say this as gently as I can....you have a habit. I know this because I was you up until a month or so ago. I didn't really think about drinking during the day and I didn't open a bottle the minute I walked in the door but I knew that sometime in the evening I would have a beer/a glass of wine or two. Honestly there was no replacement for me. I went cold turkey via a juice cleanse/detox. Lots of yoga, juice, healthy food and a few massages did it for me. I also watched this Ted talk about the power of vulnerability and I learned a very important lesson....you can't selectively numb emotion. When you numb pain/stress (hard feelings as she calls them) you also numb joy and happiness and gratitude and creativity.
I was not interested in that way of life but I had no idea I was living that way by having a few drinks through the week....but I was.
www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html (http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html)
:hug:

ETA--I never drank while I was pregnant. Not a drop.

[gatorsmom]

DH and I gave up drinking 7yr ago. DH's drinking was out of control. He acknowledged it and went to AA. In an attempt to support him AND becausse I get a headache with half a glass of wine since Cha CHa was born, I sort of gave it up too. I will have some wine when I go out with girlfriends without DH. But most of the time I avoid it because I can't tolerate the inevitable headaches.

So, most of the time I treat myself to a fancy sparking water when we are out. Or a cappacino. Or whatever fun virgin specialty the bar can produce. Or a diet coke. Or a Seven up and cranberry juice (every bar has that). If a really nice wine is on the "by the glass" list" I'll try it. But that is the exception.

[BayGirl2]

Well I think it is a habit, but you need to think about whether its a social habit, or a habit of using alcohol to numb your emotions, as mentioned above. The first may be easier to address, the latter is harder and is what IME leads to addiction.

I don't drink much now but I go through phases where I'm around it more and drink more. I also have the issue of not being able to find an interesting substitute. I am always thirsty, I like to have a drink at all times, and water does get boring. Too much diet soda or coffee is just as bad as too much alcohol for me, and I also don't like to drink calories. So I don't have a great solution for that part of the issue. When I was pregnant I drank mostly water, it was boring.

[AnnieW625]

I grew up in a house where my parents would share a bottle of wine with dinner, a bottle is usually 2 glasses per person. My dad would also have a gin+Collins mixed drink or a beer before dinner as well. Most of the time they stayed home. If one had somewhere to go the alcohol was limited. I am not a big drinker at all except at parties or nights out where I am not going to drive myself. DH and I share a bottle if wine may e two to three times a month. DH drinks a beer a night when it is hot outside. I am trying to up my water intake so I just drink that, DH will drink a soda.

IMHO I think the first response to this post is a bit inflammatory and just because you want to have a drink or two each night to relax doesn't mean you have a problem. If this was a daily occurance at lunch as well and or you were drinking mimosas daily at breakfast time I would be way more concerned. I would also be concerned if either you or your DH were hiding alcohol or when you drank I would be more concerned. I would be concerned if you were driving after consuming 2-3 glasses of wine a night.

FWIW I drank while TTC all 3 of my children. I actually drank a beer and a couple of glasses of wine when I was newly pregnant with DD1 because I had to go to my high school reunion and it was my first pregnancy so I didn't want to take any chances there with people suspecting anything as I was staying with family.

IMHO if you want to give up wine or your drink of choice because you are TTC then that is great, but it is not necessary unless you have been advised to by a dr. .

[infomama]

IMHO I think the first response to this post is a bit inflammatory.
Why...because I identified with her and am offering her support? She isn't looking for someone to say it's OK..she posted because she doesn't want to drink and she's trying to figure out how to stop/a replacement
Your opinion about drinking differs than mine. I never drank while I was pregnant or TTC..that's fine. But to go as far as to say I was inflammatory? I think that was uncalled for.

[marie]

What I order when I go out and not drinking: club soda with a splash of cranberry and lime twist. It looks festive, is refreshing, and is not as sweet or as many calories as a soda.

Interestingly, the friend who got me hooked on that drink is the wife of a recovering alcoholic and gave up drinking herself for several years in solidarity.

We have a soda stream at home so I'll often have a plain fizzy water with lemon or lime twist in it.

[Gracemom]

When I was pregnant, I drank half seltzer with half fancy juice, such as mango. It felt like a treat. I also enjoyed trying different flavored iced teas. Changing a habit is hard, but you can do it!

[ZeeBaby]

Drinking is a part of interacting socially in our society. I really don't know enough about your situation to say whether it is a habit or not, but even if it is, nothing says you can't break it or drink something else when out socially or with your DH. I give up drinking every year for lent. I think it is good to train your body to go without. While I miss it, I have been successful at abstinence for this period for three years and I know I do not have a problem with drinking and can do another activity to replace it. I would say try the spritzer with cherry juice or drink a diet coke. I also hate drinking any calories that are non-alcoholic so I feel you on that

I did not give up drinking TTC either. DD1 I tried for 6 mos and DD2 was unplanned. It is great that you are trying to do this and I hope you get positive results quickly.

[BabyBearsMom]

I always drink unsweetened iced tea. In the summer I like to put mint, lemon slices or orange slices in it. I also like ice water with lemon slices, orange slices, lime slices or cucumber slices in it.

[kaharris83]

I use our Soda Stream and add a splash of Pomegranate juice.

[rin]

I have a few thoughts on this.

I grew up in a family where alcohol is pretty much a part of every get-together. Not huge quantities, but when my family gets together on the weekends, we usually always go through a 6-pack of beer or a bottle of wine for 5-6 people, more if there are more people there.

I'm giving that as background to say that I grew up in a family culture where drinking was/is a normal part of socializing. I don;t think it's problematic to have a glass of wine with dinner. However, I do think that having half a bottle of wine 4ish times a week is something different. From my years as a cocktail waitress in college, I'm pretty sure that bottle of wine is usually considered 5 glasses, so that's drinking 2.5 glasses of wine 4x/week.

Anyways, the point isn't whether I or any other poster here thinks it's a problem or not, the point is whether YOU think it's a problem and want to change the pattern.

I think infomama's response was spot-on. While I've never felt concerned about cutting down on alcohol (I tend to have maybe one drink or so a week, often less), I did quit smoking after being a pack-a-day smoker for 8 years or so. Like some PPs have mentioned, I found that cold turkey was the only way I could do it. I also found a substitute (gum chewing), and stuck with that until I no longer felt like smoking in social situations.

I would find a drink that you like and pour a glass of that every time you would otherwise have a glass of wine. Plain sparkling water is unsweetened, no calories, and if you add a slice of lime/lemon it can feel kind of fancy.

ETA: I did not give up drinking while TTC, nor did I totally give it up while pregnant. I limited myself to no more than 1 glass of wine/1 beer a week, and no more than half a beer/half a glass of wine in any one sitting. This probably came out to about 10 drinks or so over the course of each pregnancy, since I didn't have a drink every week.

[AnnieW625]

I say this as gently as I can....you have a habit.......


Yes the OP asked for help, but your first assumption was that she has a problem. She did say she has family members who have problems and maybe that is the root of her issue and I get that she is sensitive about it, but my first thought was esp. the bolded part came across as harsh. Maybe imflamatory is the wrong word. I also read concious as being trying to be sly about not drawing attention while around family members to the fact that she was not drinking because she was TTC.

[infomama]

Yes the OP asked for help, but your first assumption was that she has a problem.
Is this really necessary?
I said she had a habit, not a problem. Not once in my post did the word "problem" appear.

[wellyes]

Ask your husband to seriously cut back during this short time in your life. It is so much easier to change habits as a couple vs having to watch him carry on while you are deprived.

Seltzer, ice plus fresh squeezed lime is yummy.

[KrisM]

Yes the OP asked for help, but your first assumption was that she has a problem. She did say she has family members who have problems and maybe that is the root of her issue and I get that she is sensitive about it, but my first thought was esp. the bolded part came across as harsh. Maybe imflamatory is the wrong word. I also read concious as being trying to be sly about not drawing attention while around family members to the fact that she was not drinking because she was TTC.

I don't think a habit means it's a problem. I have a habit of buckling my seatbelt before I drive the car. Is that a problem? I have the habit of brushing my teeth 2-3 times a day. Again, is that a problem? I think you are reading things into the word 'habit' that aren't there.

[zukeypur]

Is this really necessary?
I said she had a habit, not a problem. Not once in my post did the word "problem" appear.

FWIW, the "I'm going to say this as gently as I can" seemed pretty judgey (or inflammatory, or harsh, or replace with another similar adjective).

As to original question, perhaps flavored water, fruit slices in water, or tea? I find that I like either hot tea or an alcoholic drink, but not both in one evening. They just don't seem to go together in the same evening. ;)

We have a drink several nights of the week and I'm totally fine with it. Sometimes I crave it, other times I could care less. I crave coffee every morning. Sometimes I crave pizza too. I don't see a problem with anything besides the pizza, because I am lactose intolerant.

[KrisM]

Ask your husband to seriously cut back during this short time in your life. It is so much easier to change habits as a couple vs having to watch him carry on while you are deprived.

Seltzer, ice plus fresh squeezed lime is yummy.

I agree. I enjoy beer and mostly didn't drink it while pregnant. I did drink a couple times when visiting a friend who made really good beer in his basement. DH also cut back quite a bit. I also found a couple good non-alcoholic beers to drink if I was out and wanted something more beer-like. Mostly, I drink water or iced tea.

[AnnieW625]

Ask your husband to seriously cut back during this short time in your life. It is so much easier to change habits as a couple vs having to watch him carry on while you are deprived.

Seltzer, ice plus fresh squeezed lime is yummy.

My mom did the same thing this year for lent and my dad has always given up alcohol for lent as well so while drinking has been a habit they have been able to control they got a lot of encouragement doing it together for a time being. I wouldn't set a super huge goal for yourself, but maybe start with weekend drinking only and then move to one day a weekend and then maybe once you have conceived agree on some limits if you feel they are needed.

Good luck and I am sure you will find a great solution on your own.

[AnnieW625]

I don't think a habit means it's a problem. I have a habit of buckling my seatbelt before I drive the car. Is that a problem? I have the habit of brushing my teeth 2-3 times a day. Again, is that a problem? I think you are reading things into the word 'habit' that aren't there.

No it was simply just the way it was stated. I am leaving this part of the conversation now. I have lots of good and bad habits in my life as well and maybe it is just me, but if I don't come out and say I have a habit or a problem with one of them and I just want advice then I really don't want others thinking I do have a worse problem than I really do.

[mommylamb]

I like to have an Arnold Palmer or some tonic water with a bit of lime. OP, fwiw, I don't think the amount you drink when not pregnant or TTC is a problem or a habit. I'm sure it could be for some people, but wouldn't be for others. my DH and I often split a bottle of wine at dinner. Sometimes we finish it, though sometimes there is an extra glass left at the end of the night.

[JamiMac]

We have a drink several nights of the week and I'm totally fine with it. Sometimes I crave it, other times I could care less. I crave coffee every morning. Sometimes I crave pizza too. I don't see a problem with anything besides the pizza, because I am lactose intolerant.

:yeahthat: I totally agree. Also, having a couple of glasses of wine at dinner and numbing emotions are two wholly different things. I wouldn't worry one bit from the description of what you do. I think it sounds like pretty normal adult behavior. If you want to stop while TTC then seltzer waters and juice would be a good substitution.

[niccig]

I always drink unsweetened iced tea. In the summer I like to put mint, lemon slices or orange slices in it. I also like ice water with lemon slices, orange slices, lime slices or cucumber slices in it.

:yeahthat: DH and I both like good wine. We have a small wine fridge full. We're both on diets, so we haven't had any in a while, but even before the diet, we drank only occasionally. It's just not something we do each day. I grew up in a house where you did have a glass or 2 in the evening, and I don't see a problem with that.

But if you want to stop or cut back, I normally find having an alternative worked out in advance is helpful. Like BabyBearsMom, I drink unsweetened ice tea or water with lemon.

I'm visiting family for 2 weeks and I will have a drink each night with my Dad, as I don't get to do it often. But because I don't want to drink all my calories, I'll limit it to 1 smaller glass than usual.

[TwinFoxes]

:yeahthat: I totally agree. Also, having a couple of glasses of wine at dinner and numbing emotions are two wholly different things. I wouldn't worry one bit from the description of what you do.

:yeahthat: With the caveat of if you think you're developing a problem, then by all means cut back or stop. In many cultures people have wine with every lunch and dinner. I drink wine with dinner because I like it. Sometimes I drink water. If I'm out, I like seltzer, cranberry and lime. Ginger ale and lime is yummy too. I don't drink wine with lunch because it doesn't go with my usual turkey sandwich. :)

[elbenn]

I also don't like to drink very many calories. I like to try different teas that are interesting. Sometimes I put a scoop of chai latte in to a flavored tea (the chai latte is supposed to have 3 scoops added to water but I put 1 scoop in to tea and it just makes it a lightly sweetened tea--it tastes quite different depending on the tea that you put it into).

Here are a couple of interesting teas:

http://www.amazon.com/Stash-Premium-Christmas-Tea-100-Count/dp/B003D4GVNA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1365473881&sr=8-1&keywords=white+christmas+tea
http://www.amazon.com/Bigelow-Eggnoggn-1-73-Ounce-Boxes-Pack/dp/B000Z4WRXE/ref=sr_1_1?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1365473904&sr=1-1&keywords=egg+nog+tea

This tea is good for iced tea:
http://www.amazon.com/Stash-Premium-Peach-Tea-20-Count/dp/B000CQG8KS/ref=sr_1_1?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1365473931&sr=1-1&keywords=stash+peach+tea

Here is a chai latte I really like:

http://www.amazon.com/Big-Train-Vanilla-Chai-1-9-Pound/dp/B001E5DXEU/ref=sr_1_1?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1365473944&sr=1-1&keywords=big+train+chai

[sweetsue98]

I think when you are not indulging in a beverage you start to notice how much more others are indulging. That was me when I was prego...I notice how much DH was drinking when I was not. Fwiw, op, I don't think your consumption is excessive. but its not uncommon for me to drink a bottle of wine on a saturday night. DH and I gave up wine for lent and now we try to reserve drinks to the weekends only. It really gave happy hour a new meaning! And as for drinks with NA drinks for you, I have NA beer or NA wine. Not as good as the real stuff but does the trick.

[bigpassport]

I replaced it with Diet Coke initially. The social aspect was a hard adjustment...for me and them. I gave up one social group (my drinking buddies) when I realized the only thing I had in common with them was our social routine. The adjustment was easier with closer friends and co-workers who just needed to be informed that I quit drinking. Once they got used to me not drinking, it hasn't been an issue. I have since given up soda, so I just drink water now. I'm proud of you, OP, for taking this on! Good luck!!

[Mali]

When I was at the fancy food show a couple years ago I tried an alcohol free wine and it wasn't as bad as I would've thought. Granted, I don't think it would compare with really nice wines, but you could always look into that if it's the flavor you like. I think the one I tried was by Fre.

Otherwise, for me, I shifted to coffee drinks like espresso or lattes. Sparkling water also worked for me.

[kara97210]

I use our Soda Stream and add a splash of Pomegranate juice.

:yeahthat: We have a Soda Stream and most nights I make fizzy water and then usually add a splash of pomegranate or squeeze in a lime or both. There is a place near here that does a great non-alcoholic drink with ginger beer and I’m thinking about trying to replicate this at home.

[Momit]

I agree. I enjoy beer and mostly didn't drink it while pregnant. I did drink a couple times when visiting a friend who made really good beer in his basement. DH also cut back quite a bit. I also found a couple good non-alcoholic beers to drink if I was out and wanted something more beer-like. Mostly, I drink water or iced tea.

This was me. I'm a beer drinker much more than wine or mixed drinks, so I experimented with various non-alcoholic beers and found some good ones (and some real stinkers!)

DH rarely drank at home while I was pregnant but still had a few beers when we were out with friends.

[anonomom]

I never consciously gave up drinking, but my one-cocktail-every-evening routine fell by the wayside at some point around when I was trying for DD2. I still have about a drink a week, but the rest of the time I drink ice water with a splash of Simply Lemonade. When I'm out I order unsweet tea.

Habits (whether good or bad) can be so hard to break. Before we had kids, DH and went through a summer where we'd have a cocktail and a cigarette on our porch every evening, as we talked about our day. We only did it for a few months and I never had more than two cigarettes in any given evening, but 7 years later, a nice night will make me physically crave that experience.

[bostonsmama]

Alright...I took no offense to infomama's post. It's okay. Alcohol is one of those hot-button topics...and I know when to call a duck a duck. If you do something regularly, whether you like it or not, it's a habit, I suppose. That's hard to swallow for anyone.

Anyways, all good ideas to just lump it and find a noncaloric fizzy drink I like. Poor DH would never give up his "habit," but that's a decades' long battle I've been fighting. I suppose I just gave up (ala if you can't beat 'em, join 'em). I think with my family history, it's wise to make this choice.

[FTMLuc]

When water gets boring and/or to make dinner feel a bit more special if I cannot have a glass of wine with it, instead of a plain water glass I use a fancy crystal water goblet, put a slice of lemon with it and the water no longer feels so plain and the crystal goblet ups the social ante as well. That way you'll still have something special in your hand when sitting on the porch with your DH.

[Meatball Mommie]

Bostonsmama, if it makes you feel any better, I'm in the same boat. Same amount of alcohol and everything. I'm not pregnant or TTC, but I am trying to lose weight (as is DH), so we are trying to cut back.

I don't think of myself as an alcoholic but I definitely do feel like I have a habit. Like any habit, it's hard to change. I found that by upping my consumption of water during the day, plus making myself a cup of herbal tea right when I got home helped me the most.

I was in the habit of pouring a glass of wine as I cook dinner and then having another glass with dinner. If I have something to drink (that's not water, because it needs flavor) to replace my glass of wine, I find it easier. I like herbal teas and jasmine green tea, so that's what I'd make. I even like them cold, so I make a cup and drink a few sips warm, then let it cool.

If you're trying to cut back without going cold turkey, I have combined white wine with plain seltzer and made a "spritzer" before. I tend to do this at parties where I don't want to drink too much.

Good luck!

[123LuckyMom]

Alright...I took no offense to infomama's post. It's okay. Alcohol is one of those hot-button topics...and I know when to call a duck a duck. If you do something regularly, whether you like it or not, it's a habit, I suppose. That's hard to swallow for anyone.

Anyways, all good ideas to just lump it and find a noncaloric fizzy drink I like. Poor DH would never give up his "habit," but that's a decades' long battle I've been fighting. I suppose I just gave up (ala if you can't beat 'em, join 'em). I think with my family history, it's wise to make this choice.

You are very wise--and good for you! It's never how much you indulge in anything, really, it's how much of a problem you perceive it to be. If you have a family history of alcoholism, and you want to limit or eliminate your drinking, I think that's terrific!!!

I'm not a big drinker, but when I was pregnant and knew I couldn't have any alcohol (which was my choice), I really missed it and felt deprived. The most important thing when kicking or starting a habit, IMO, is to train your mindset. You're not giving up something you love so much as doing something really great for yourself and your body. Every time you have a non-alcoholic beverage instead of an alcoholic one, give yourself a little pat on the back and feel good about your choice. This will help you immensely not to feel deprived. It really works for dieting or starting up exercise, too.

If what you normally like to drink is wine, juice will be your friend, but it is caloric. I agree that teas may be a good substitute, because they have a little more heft than sparkling water. I, personally, love seltzer. I think of it as exciting water. Mixed with a little juice or just with some mint, lemon, or lime, it tastes great. I also LOVE gin and tonics in the summer time, but if I don't feel like drinking, I'll just have a tonic.

Good luck to you! :)

[doberbrat]

Not touching the comments with a ten foot pole ;)

raspberry lime rickey
virgin dacquairy
alcohol free wine

:heartbeat:

[boolady]

FWIW, the "I'm going to say this as gently as I can" seemed pretty judgey (or inflammatory, or harsh, or replace with another similar adjective).

Can I just ask, so that I know for the future, how? I would consider this about the nicest possible way to say something that you think someone might not want to hear, particularly given that it's a sensitive topic. I would use this phrase and never mean it with any judgment, or to mean anything other than "I'm trying to say this gently."

Can you help me to understand why couching something by saying you're approaching it gently implies judgment? I am being completely sincere in my request. I just want to understand as I'd likely use the phrase and I know it's been used here many times, and I've never perceived it to be used in the way you describe.

[KLD313]

I like alcohol but I don't drink often because alcoholism runs in my family. I guess I always thought when it goes from becoming a want to a need it's a problem.

My choice of drink has pretty much always been something with vodka. So, when I don't want to drink I'll drink tonic with a splash of cranberry and lime, it's the same thing I would drink with vodka. Tastes the same, too. I've had non-alcoholic beer but never found a good one, tastes skunk-y to me. Lol

[hillview]

muddled lime with tonic water
tea -- MINT tea I love

I tend to drink with DH but not drink much when he travels (unless I am traveling for work and out with co workers).

[flashy09]

O' Douls is a pretty good non alcoholic beer! I drank it when pregnant and even now I still drink them.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Ever thought about getting a Vitamix and making fun veggie-based drink instead? My DH is hooked on them.

[sophiesmom03]

I always drink unsweetened iced tea. In the summer I like to put mint, lemon slices or orange slices in it. I also like ice water with lemon slices, orange slices, lime slices or cucumber slices in it.

This, plus doing the same with seltzer (plain, not sweet) for a little extra kick once in a while.

[wellyes]

Can I just ask, so that I know for the future, how? I would consider this about the nicest possible way to say something that you think someone might not want to hear, particularly given that it's a sensitive topic. I would use this phrase and never mean it with any judgment, or to mean anything other than "I'm trying to say this gently."

Can you help me to understand why couching something by saying you're approaching it gently implies judgment? I am being completely sincere in my request. I just want to understand as I'd likely use the phrase and I know it's been used here many times, and I've never perceived it to be used in the way you describe.
I've used "I'm going to say this as gently as possible" as a way to respectfully contradict a poster and give advice the person may not want to hear. But here, it was a little odd, because the OP was asking how to cut out alcohol and find other ways to relax, and the advice seemed to me that she should cut out alcohol and learn other ways to relax.

Other posts here remind me of that George Carlin quote "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" Drinking is similar. There is definitely a 'too much' when it comes to alcohol (or speeding) but the line is pretty subjective. But most of us think we get the balance just right!

[boolady]

I've used "I'm going to say this as gently as possible" as a way to respectfully contradict a poster and give advice the person may not want to hear. But here, it was a little odd, because the OP was asking how to cut out alcohol and find other ways to relax, and the advice seemed to me that she should cut out alcohol and learn other ways to relax.

I can see what you're saying, but still didn't see it as being judgmental, particularly given that she said that she has dealt with the same (what word can I use that won't get me in trouble?) issue? concern? topic?
I appreciate your input, which put into words how I have always used/perceived the phrase at issue. I've certainly never perceived it to be judgmental in any way, and didn't know if I'm missing something or offending people when I don't mean to be.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I can see what you're saying, but still didn't see it as being judgmental, particularly given that she said that she has dealt with the same (what word can I use that won't get me in trouble?) issue? concern? topic?
I appreciate your input, which put into words how I have always used/perceived the phrase at issue. I've certainly never perceived it to be judgmental in any way, and didn't know if I'm missing something or offending people when I don't mean to be.

In this thread, it honestly bugged me too. It came across as judgemental. It doesn't always when someone uses that "saying this gently" phrase but maybe it did with this one b/c of the subject matter. The term habit when used with alcohol sounds as bad as a "crack habit" instead of just a routine. In this context, I felt that the poster made a jump to treating OP as having an alcohol problem...it was a bigger jump than I thought was necessary or appropriate. That was just my take on it and why it bothered me. It really probably is the subject matter that caused my gut reaction though.

[AnnieW625]

:yeahthat: very well said. Completely agree with stating that when the word habit is used with alcohol it can come across that the person has a much worse habit like a really bad drug addiction or does have issues with alcohol addiction.

[boolady]

In this thread, it honestly bugged me too. It came across as judgemental. It doesn't always when someone uses that "saying this gently" phrase but maybe it did with this one b/c of the subject matter. The term habit when used with alcohol sounds as bad as a "crack habit" instead of just a routine. In this context, I felt that the poster made a jump to treating OP as having an alcohol problem...it was a bigger jump than I thought was necessary or appropriate. That was just my take on it and why it bothered me. It really probably is the subject matter that caused my gut reaction though.

Thank you to you, and to wellyes, for presenting things from a different perspective. I wasn't really seeing it that way, but it's good to see how others see it. I was concerned that there is a perception that this phrase is always used in a "I'm saying I mean this gently but I really don't and am being snarky" kind of way, because that was never my perception.

[vejemom]

Have you looked at the Drinks section of Skinnytaste.com? She's got some great mocktails and lots of non-alcoholic stuff. I'd love to have a glass of wine a day. But I try to limit myself to 2 glasses a week because I train Jiu Jitsu pretty seriously. Plus, I find a glass of wine makes me sleepy - too sleepy now that I'm a single mom and have tons of stuff to get done in the evenings.

[infomama]

Wow...some of you have had fun while I've been away.

Here's the long and short of it. My post, however you took it, was genuine, loving and meant to be helpful. Not judgmental, snarky or whatever you'd like to assume.

The most confusing part about this is that a few of you have been nailing me to the cross with my use of the word habit. Lest you forget....the word habit was it was introduced by the OP, not me. She even ended the post saying she was having a hard time, "letting go of a habit."

I found it rude that people were saying she shouldn't worry, totally normal behavior, your fine when she obviously came here and posted this thread because she not ok with it.

bostonsmama and i are good. She understood me and didn't take any offense.

Thanks for the pile on.

[3isEnough]

Wow...some of you have had fun while I've been away.

Here's the long and short of it. My post, however you took it, was genuine, loving and meant to be helpful. Not judgmental, snarky or whatever you'd like to assume.

The most confusing part about this is that a few of you have been nailing me to the cross with my use of the word habit. lest you forget....the word habit was it was introduced by the OP, not me. She even endied the post saying she was having a hard time, "letting go of a habit."

I found it rude that people were saying she shouldn't worry, totally normal behavior, your fine when she obviously came here and posted this thread because she not ok with it.

bostonsmama and i are good. She understood me and didn't take any offense.

Thanks for the pile on.

I didn't want to comment earlier since the "habit" discussion was obviously off track from the original purpose of this thread, but since that discussion is still ongoing I'll just say that I definitely didn't read any judgment or snarkiness in the "habit" comment. At all. I thought your original post was well intentioned and that OP's situation obviously struck a chord with you.

[wellyes]

I found it rude that people were saying she shouldn't worry, totally normal behavior, your fine when she obviously came here and posted this thread because she not ok with it.

I thought she was saying she was stopping due to TTC. I could have been reading it wrong.

[infomama]

I thought she was saying she was stopping due to TTC. I could have been reading it wrong.

She said, "I never realized how ingrained the habit had become until I tried to stop".

[RedSuedeShoes]

I have cut way back on alcohol in the last few years because I've realized I just feel much better without it. But I got tired of just drinking water when others were drinking, and I don't like sweet drinks. So for me, it's sparkling water (or seltzer, which I love but can't get where I live), iced or hot tea (black or herbal), or kombucha (which does contain a tiny tiny amount of alcohol - I certainly wouldn't worry about it if I were TTC but it may not work for those in recovery).

[infomama]

I didn't want to comment earlier since the "habit" discussion was obviously off track from the original purpose of this thread, but since that discussion is still ongoing I'll just say that I definitely didn't read any judgment or snarkiness in the "habit" comment. At all. I thought your original post was well intentioned and that OP's situation obviously struck a chord with you.

Thank you for sharing this with me.

[KpbS]

I didn't want to comment earlier since the "habit" discussion was obviously off track from the original purpose of this thread, but since that discussion is still ongoing I'll just say that I definitely didn't read any judgment or snarkiness in the "habit" comment. At all. I thought your original post was well intentioned and that OP's situation obviously struck a chord with you.

:yeahthat:
That was my take on it too. I thought it was coming from a place of honesty and concern.