Mementos from grandparents

[mikeys_mom]

My grandmother, whom I am pretty close with, had a major stroke last year and despite a tremendous recovery, will likely not be able to walk again so my parents have just sold her condo.

My mother is in the process of clearing it out and has been sending me and my siblings pictures of various knick-knacks my grandmother had in the house, asking us if we want any as mementos. I am really not a knick-knack type of person. We have none around the house. Actually I really have nothing much on display because we haven't done any serious decorating as my kids are still in a destructive stage and DH and I don't have the desire or energy to police them over that type of stuff. We figure, in a few years once they are older we'll attempt to give the house a more mature look.

None of the pieces from my grandmother are items that I particularly like but a few are very much her style and would remind me of her. If I took them, they would sit in my storage room at the moment.

I should also add that my grandmother is an artist and we have many of her works hanging around the house and will be getting a few more from some that were hanging in her house. The paintings are really nice (I think!) and hold much more sentimental value to me than the knick-knacks. I have a lot of pride in telling people that my grandmother painted them.

So, given all that - will I later regret it if I don't take any knick knacks? Do I just take a couple and store them at the moment to be displayed at some point in the future?

[boolady]

Do you want something from your grandmother to hand down to your kids, or would you do that with a painting or two that you already have?

I'm not a big knick knack person either; the one thing I wanted from my grandparents' house was a circa-1900 rendering of the town where they lived and I grew up that had always hung over their kitchen table. At the time, DH and I didn't live there, but I didn't care. Now we live in that very town, and it's over our fireplace in the living room. I didn't really want any of their other "stuff" (and my grandmother had a fair amount) and I haven't regretted it.

[lizzywednesday]

*sigh*

The only thing I want from my grandmother (my dad's mom, that is) is a music box shaped like a Bavarian cottage that plays "Eidelweiss" ... but it's been promised to my sister, who would never forgive anyone for taking "her" thing away from her.

Mind you, I am older by nearly 8 years, but I've not laid any claims to it for the sole reason that my sister thinks it's hers.

I would also like one or two of her Hummel figurines, but I'm not entirely certain that they still exist in any shape or form anymore. Nana has moved 5 times since 1989, so it's possible they ended up in my uncle's basement or something. (They aren't worth anything monetary, being too common, but they remind me of standing in Nana's kitchen on holidays & smelling the cooking, for example, and she has enough of them that they could be equitably divided among those grandchildren old enough to have some sort of sentimental attachment to them.)

If any of the objects your mother is trying to pass to you were like that, I'd say take them.

Since, from the tone of your posting, they are not, I say you tell your mom, gently, that they simply won't be appreciated and you're unable to take them. I don't think you'll regret it.

[mikeys_mom]

Do you want something from your grandmother to hand down to your kids, or would you do that with a painting or two that you already have?

I'm not a big knick knack person either; the one thing I wanted from my grandparents' house was a circa-1900 rendering of the town where they lived and I grew up that had always hung over their kitchen table. At the time, DH and I didn't live there, but I didn't care. Now we live in that very town, and it's over our fireplace in the living room. I didn't really want any of their other "stuff" (and my grandmother had a fair amount) and I haven't regretted it.

I hope to pass along the paintings to them, eventually. Some of her paintings are even in my kids rooms so those probably have more meaning to them than the other "stuff". My grandmother lives 5 hours away from us. We visit fairly often but it's always at my parents' house and my grandmother will just stay with my parents for the weekend. So my kids didn't really get to see her house often. I can't imagine the knick-knacks would hold any meaning to them.

[boolady]

I hope to pass along the paintings to them, eventually. Some of her paintings are even in my kids rooms so those probably have more meaning to them than the other "stuff". My grandmother lives 5 hours away from us. We visit fairly often but it's always at my parents' house and my grandmother will just stay with my parents for the weekend. So my kids didn't really get to see her house often. I can't imagine the knick-knacks would hold any meaning to them.

If it was me, then, I'd be totally comfortable saying I was sticking with the things that I already have.

[mikeys_mom]

*sigh*

The only thing I want from my grandmother (my dad's mom, that is) is a music box shaped like a Bavarian cottage that plays "Eidelweiss" ... but it's been promised to my sister, who would never forgive anyone for taking "her" thing away from her.

Mind you, I am older by nearly 8 years, but I've not laid any claims to it for the sole reason that my sister thinks it's hers.

I would also like one or two of her Hummel figurines, but I'm not entirely certain that they still exist in any shape or form anymore. Nana has moved 5 times since 1989, so it's possible they ended up in my uncle's basement or something. (They aren't worth anything monetary, being too common, but they remind me of standing in Nana's kitchen on holidays & smelling the cooking, for example, and she has enough of them that they could be equitably divided among those grandchildren old enough to have some sort of sentimental attachment to them.)

If any of the objects your mother is trying to pass to you were like that, I'd say take them.

Since, from the tone of your posting, they are not, I say you tell your mom, gently, that they simply won't be appreciated and you're unable to take them. I don't think you'll regret it.

So sorry, that sounds hard. My father's mother had some unusual way of gifting her "stuff" before she passed away and there was a lot of ill-will between him and his brother for a while. I know my father wanted a few things but his SIL had "claimed" them and he didn't feel like getting into a fight over it.

All of the sentimental things she has are candy-bowl type pieces. They are probably sentimental to me because as kids, we used to go straight for those to see what candy she had put out for us when we visited.

My mom isn't pushing any of it on us, just asking if we want any. She and my aunt will take most of it. I suppose if I ever change my mind, I can get a piece or two from my mom.

[mikeys_mom]

If it was me, then, I'd be totally comfortable saying I was sticking with the things that I already have.

Thanks. That was my initial thought. My sisters have been emailing back and forth all day remembering the stuff from my grandmother's house and discussing what they want so it made me second guess myself. But, they also visit my grandmother much less than me (for various reasons) so I think they have some guilt about it and like the "stuff" as mementos.

[crl]

You have paintings you love. For me, that would be enough. I would say no to the other things.

Catherine

[lizzywednesday]

Thanks. That was my initial thought. My sisters have been emailing back and forth all day remembering the stuff from my grandmother's house and discussing what they want so it made me second guess myself. But, they also visit my grandmother much less than me (for various reasons) so I think they have some guilt about it and like the "stuff" as mementos.

It sounds as if your sisters have a greater sentimental attachment to those things than you do.

It's OK to say "no," especially if they will neither be used nor displayed fondly.

For my Nana's Hummels, I'd display them, which is why I would want them, but I wouldn't take, say, her Infant of Prague statue with the interchangeable robes because (a) I am no longer religious and (b) I do not have the space. (I also think that (c) DD would think it was a baby doll.)

[baymom]

For me, the paintings would probably be enough. Not really a knick knack, but some photographs of hers would be really special. I'd also love something in her handwriting, if that exists.

[larig]

The things I have from my grandparents are things that remind me of the things they did and enjoyed--for my grammie, it was her knitting needles. For my papaw it was some of his tools, and I have both of their old glasses from the 1970s (not the frames they wore when I was older, but the ones I remember from when I was a kid). I also have a door knob from their house (it was glass). No knick Knacks, really though. What about some art supplies of hers? a palette? some brushes?

[larig]

*sigh*

The only thing I want from my grandmother (my dad's mom, that is) is a music box shaped like a Bavarian cottage that plays "Eidelweiss" ... but it's been promised to my sister, who would never forgive anyone for taking "her" thing away from her.

Mind you, I am older by nearly 8 years, but I've not laid any claims to it for the sole reason that my sister thinks it's hers.

I would also like one or two of her Hummel figurines, but I'm not entirely certain that they still exist in any shape or form anymore. Nana has moved 5 times since 1989, so it's possible they ended up in my uncle's basement or something. (They aren't worth anything monetary, being too common, but they remind me of standing in Nana's kitchen on holidays & smelling the cooking, for example, and she has enough of them that they could be equitably divided among those grandchildren old enough to have some sort of sentimental attachment to them.)

If any of the objects your mother is trying to pass to you were like that, I'd say take them.

Since, from the tone of your posting, they are not, I say you tell your mom, gently, that they simply won't be appreciated and you're unable to take them. I don't think you'll regret it.

FWIW, the hummels probably are worth something.

[mikeys_mom]

What about some art supplies of hers? a palette? some brushes?
She is actually still using those :)
It's her left side that was paralyzed. She is right handed so can still paint. She does have "left neglect", which is really fascinating. There is a neurologist who is doing a study on her. They are analyzing her paintings as she learns to adapt through art therapy. At first she would only paint half a face and now she is doing almost a whole face. In some of her stuff earlier in the process, she would paint half a face because that's all she saw but then look at the painting, knowing something was miissing and then add in some features on the other side from memory.

[elizabethkott]

The things I have from my grandparents are really, really important to me. DH and I use their bedroom set. Bed, dresser, chest of drawers, and we'll get the vanity one day (my Mimi still "uses" it in the sense that it's in her bedroom). I love that bedroom set; when I used to sleep over at their house, it's where I used to sleep as a little girl.
I also have their kitchen table and the Tiffany-style stained glass chandelier hanging over it. This is REALLY, REALLY important to me, and has actually been a point of contention between me, my brother and my cousins... sorry, boys - I'm the only girl and the oldest and I had my own place before you all did! DIBS!!!! I just have so many wonderful memories of their kitchen in Queens; my grandfather making the meat pies for Easter in his undershirt and khaki pants at that table, eating meatballs and sauce, having "sugar cereal" (Honey Nut Cheerios!) when I slept over...
If you don't have strong associations to the brick-a-brack, I say skip it. What I have is functional, I use every day, and make me feel as though my grandfather is a part of my home and family still, even though he passed before ever meeting DH. And while my Mimi is still with us at 95, every time she comes to my house she tells me how happy it makes her to see her table and lamp in our kitchen, and that gives me great joy.

[urquie]

I love using kitchen things from our grandparents. Not that I have specific memories of them using most of the items, but I think of them, every time I use them. It makes me smile, when I cook. For example... wooden spatula, serving spoon, fine mesh colander, micro bundt pans, large sheet cake pan, measuring cups and spoons, etc. We also have tools from Grandpa, for the same reason.

[larig]

I love using kitchen things from our grandparents. Not that I have specific memories of them using most of the items, but I think of them, every time I use them. It makes me smile, when I cook. For example... wooden spatula, serving spoon, fine mesh colander, micro bundt pans, large sheet cake pan, measuring cups and spoons, etc. We also have tools from Grandpa, for the same reason.

Good ideas...I forgot about my depression glass cream and sugar containers.

[BDKmom]

I think it's great that you have some of her paintings. I'm sure they mean a lot to you and will to your children one day. If the other stuff doesn't hold that same value to you, then I'd say skip it. Some people value the knick knacks more than others. Nothing wrong with that. You have your own way of keeping her close to you.

[ahisma]

The things of my mom's that mean the most to me are:

her recipe box
her wooden spoon
her rolling pin
her sewing scissors

I use those things, often. I value them. The knick knacks stress me out because I feel guilty getting rid of them and they clutter my house.