My friend's baby was born with Down syndrome. I need advice.

[daisymommy]

I have a friend, we are not close, but more than just a casual acquaintance too. I know her through a moms group at church, and we have babysat each others children before as well. She is incredibly sweet and kind.

She just had her baby yesterday, and her baby girl has Down syndrome. I know they did not do any testing ahead of time, so I'm sure this is a shock.

Way can I do to support her? What can I say that is helpful and encouraging, rather than the wrong thing?

I am going to put out some calls and find out if meals have already been set up. Usually at least 1-2 groups in the church do 2 or 3 weeks of meals each. I want to offer child care for her other kids while she and her husband at at doctors visits (not sure if the baby is still in the hospital too?).

What else can I do to be a good friend?


Sent from my iPad

[scrooks]

I think you need to do whatever you would have done had the baby not had Down syndrome. Take over a meal and a cute outfit and ooh and ahh over the baby! I think an offer of childcare for the other children would probably be very much appreciated as well!

[Pennylane]

I think you need to do whatever you would have done had the baby not had Down syndrome. Take over a meal and a cute outfit and ooh and ahh over the baby! I think an offer of child are for the other children would probably be very much appreciated as well!

I would handle it the same way. I'm sure it is to soon, but Kelle Hamptons Book "Bloom" might be an appropriate gift sometimes in the future. She also had a child with DS and I think the way she has handled it is inspiring, although I know that plenty of people would disagree with that.

Ann

[JBaxter]

I think you need to do whatever you would have done had the baby not had Down syndrome. Take over a meal and a cute outfit and ooh and ahh over the baby! I think an offer of child are for the other children would probably be very much appreciated as well!
exactly <3 I know a same sex couple who just adopted a baby with Downs.

[elliput]

I think you need to do whatever you would have done had the baby not had Down syndrome. Take over a meal and a cute outfit and ooh and ahh over the baby! I think an offer of childcare for the other children would probably be very much appreciated as well!

Exactly! What the mom really is going to need, if she has other children, is someone to call for child care when she needs to take the baby in for appointments, of which there are going to be quite a few in the months ahead.

[wellyes]

Great advice. Also, be prepared to listen-- non judgmentally. It's already so draining, the physical and emotional stress of having a baby. The shock of not having the baby they expected on top of that must be intense. The trick is, you don't want to offer sympathy, but you don't want to pretend there aren't challenges ahead, either. Listening and being there and taking in whatever they want to talk about is, I think, the best way to navigate.

[Tenasparkl]

I think you need to do whatever you would have done had the baby not had Down syndrome. Take over a meal and a cute outfit and ooh and ahh over the baby! I think an offer of childcare for the other children would probably be very much appreciated as well!

I agree. I also second the recommendation of Bloom and Kelle's website.

[daisymommy]

The trick is, you don't want to offer sympathy, but you don't want to pretend there aren't challenges ahead, either.

This is exactly where I'm struggling to know what to say, and what to do. That's a hard limbo land. I guess being a good listener and following their lead will be best.





Sent from my iPad