Child Focused on Own Consciousness?? Normal Developmental Stage

[sste]

If your poor people in internetland had any thought that my family was normal this will put that to rest once and for all.

So 5 year old DS has long (since age 3.5) been very focused and upset about death and def. understood its finality. In the past six months, he appears to be very focused on his own consciousness. So many times we have caught him wondering aloud very excitedly, "I can't believe I am alive" and sort of gazing at things in wonder and moving his hands a bit. He is at least extremely amazed and pleased about it. :)

Is this a normal part of child development? I actually remember this happening to me at around this age but my DH swears up and down that he never had any such thought as a child or knew any other child to. Is DS moving in some sort of direction of abnormality over here??

[bisous]

I went through this. I don't think it is entirely uncommon. DS1 went through something similar. Your DS often reminds me (in some ways) of my DS1. As he's gotten older I've realized that he does sometimes think differently than many of the children around him but I don't think it is a bad thing at all. He still has friends and relates to people but he has an understanding of the world that often translates to things he reads and discussions with people that is quite unusual and profound. I think it is one of his gifts and will serve him well.

[pinkmomagain]

I do not think it is typical, but I do think it's pretty amazing and cool and I don't think there is anything wrong with it. You might have a little existentialist on your hands. Maybe he'll be inspired to be a philosopher, psychologist, physician, physicist, spiritual leader...

In my opinion, more people should think like this and, sadly, I suspect that many never do.

[hellokitty]

Out of my 3 children, two of them have been really obsessed with the topic of death since age 3. I has always caught me off guard, since I don't remember thinking this sort of stuff until I was much older and it's not really a topic that get brought up to the kids. The other night, DS3 asked me what happens if my heart stops. I told him the truth, but was surprised that he would ask that sort of question.

[sarahsthreads]

I think it can be normal and even healthy. DD1 went through a phase of being obsessed with death & mortality. She never got to the "I'm so thrilled I'm alive" conclusion. And that certainly seems to me to be a healthier way to deal with the whole "I am mortal which means I have a finite number of days on this earth" concept than constant anxiety over inevitable death, doesn't it? This is not to say that DD1 is constantly anxious, but it does come up from time to time, and I have to keep reminding her that knowing that someday you or someone you care about very much will die means that you have to cherish all the days you do have, good and bad. So your DS knows this without reminders - that can only be a good thing!

Sarah :)

[sste]

Thanks everyone! It is just disconcerting to see DS wandering around like a mini-Awakenings/philosopher . . . I mean he will literally kind of wander around for a few minutes starstruck with his own concious thought and sensation. I can't help but worry this is not a positive thing for him socially!

Though I will say things are going much better at pre-k and his teachers think major progress socially this year. Actually our only recent bump was that DS came home upset and was only able to tell me a few days later, "I told a friend that eventually he would die [long pause]. The friend did not like hearing that." DS meant the comment in an informative, non malicious way. His teacher had to explain why the friend was upset and not to say that!

[anamika]

:rotflmao: sste, I love the stories about your son. He sounds like a real philosopher!

[sste]

Ah well, I just hope the world is as kind as all of you. :)

[Seitvonzu]

my little daughter is in your son's cohort and she's been asking the funniest questions about what happens in heaven. she's very worried about BREATHING and heaven b/c i told her that there are not "bodily concerns" in heaven. she's very specific about all the sensations she'll miss out on, and how you can communicate if you do not have a mouth, tongue, etc. (eg-- i told her she'd be able to communicate with cats if she wanted to...but i told her she won't have a body....this is very stressful and confusing to her. "how can i talk to the cat w/o a tongue?" and ohmygoodness--"how will i BREATHE mommy?" i said "you won't be worried about that" to which she assured me "i WILL be worried" etcetc we pretty much compromised on her being the only worried soul in heave. she then asked me to tell her a story about her "worried soul"-- oh my heavens these 5 year olds!)

DH might have it right when he said "well, i don't believe in God, but...." i did breathe a sigh of relief when she said "well, i believe in GOD!" ;) and piped up with "me too lucy!" she seemed to drop the questions after that though... little philosophers these kiddos

(and don't worry too much-- how is your son's declarations about death much different than a kid who goes into great detail about god? or blowing things up? or evil bad guys? or or or... kids are just weird. i hear them say the silliest things when they are hanging out w/ each other-- no harm, no foul. sounds like the teacher mitigated the damage and your kid is still socially OK :)

[buddyleebaby]

When my DD was almost five, she asked me "Mama, how do we know we're real?" I said "How do we know we're real? What do you mean, honey?" She said "I mean, like, how do we know we're not just people in someone else's dream or something like that?" I don't even remember what I replied because in my head I was like "WTF, kid? You're five. Isn't that a little young for an existential crisis?"

I vote normal.

[flashy09]

I distinctly remember going through this at around 3 yrs old. Walking around our coffee table saying "I am alive!" 'I got picked!" I seriously did know how lucky I was to be alive and how amazing it was without anyone ever putting that thought in my head.