If you have lost a lot of weight... or did tummy tuck, boob lift

[magnoliaparadise]

Hi,

Well, sigh, I have a lot of weight to lose. I was normal weight pretty much my whole life and used to exercise a lot and ran a marathon with relative ease when I was younger, but the last ten years of not eating well, fertility drugs, having two kids, and other things have all contributed to this. I now have to move forward instead of ruminating how on earth I got to this place.

Even if I lose weight, I feel like I won't look very good and it saddens me and works as a disincentive, as in: 'ugh, why bother' - clearly not logical reasoning, because 1) my body will surely look better than it does now even if I will never get my old body back; 2) I'll FEEL better; and 3) I'll be more healthy.

Of course, the first thing I have to concentrate on is the weight loss, but... as an incentive or reality check, for those who are losing or have lost a lot of weight, do you still have a hanging belly, boobs, even arm flab? Did you need to (or would like to) get a tummy tuck? And breast lift? Are you happy with how you look (with or without the surgery)?

The road to losing weight feels daunting. I feel like I'm looking up a mountain. I will be ok once I start climbing, but it's been hard to start.

TIA for your posts. Or, if anyone would like to reach out, but is uncomfortable posting, please feel free to pm me.

Magnoliaparadiso and my 5 yo and 1.5 yo

[OKKiddo]

Oh yeah. I'm definitely not as perky as I was in my 20's and I can already see (after 10 pounds of weight loss--thank you Vitamix) that further weight loss might help me into a smaller size of pants but that I'll still have to tuck my belly in or it will just hang out and flip flop around. I can totally understand Kate Goselin getting work done now and I only had one baby at a time in my tummy (total of three). :(

I have a Dr. saved on my facebook page who is well respected and much more affordable than say SoCal Drs. I don't know if I'll ever go through with that but I like to dream. :)

[lcarlson90]

After my first pregnancy I lost about 50 pounds which was quite a bit for me. I am pretty lucky that when I am at a healthy weight my tummy is pretty flat in clothes. It still is a little jiggly but it's not worth getting a tummy tuck. My boobs on the other hand were a saggy mess but I think they would have been even without the large weight loss...I think nursing causes the saggy boobs.

I had a breast lift last November and I am so happy I did it. I did it more for the fact that I had one breast that was a whole cup size bigger than the other one. I can actually go without wearing a bra if I wanted to. My boobs are perkier now then when I was 16.

Good luck on the weight loss. I know how hard it is but you can do it.

[AJP]

Me! I gained a lot with my twins and even after I reached my pre-twin weight, I had the twin tummy, plus the herniated stomach muscles. I had had a breast lift about 4 yrs pre-pg, but they were sagging again after getting huge during my pg. I got pg with my DS two yrs after my twin pregnancy and the loose and hanging over belly skin didnt fill out all the way till I was almost 30 weeks! I dropped down to around 8lbs of my pre-twin pregnancy weight again and had a tumy tuck with muscle repair and breast lift this past January.
It was starting to affect my life since I couldn't dress myself without still looking 6mos pregnant and was affecting daily life. It's not the right choice for everyone, but it was the best thing I have done for myself since having kids. I measured ahead for both pregnancies, twins were 6lbs8oz and 6lbs11oz and my DS was 8lbs9oz. My body was wrecked.
You can search my posts to find some details I posted after my surgery.

[sunshine873]

I've lost a lot of weight and it definitely shows with all the saggy, wrinkly skin everywhere. It took a good year of maintenance after losing before things tightened up some more. Enough to be happy with? No, not in a million years. But it did somewhat. Don't count your body out just yet. Go for it and give it a chance. Even if you're unhappy with the skin, you'll notice a difference and you'll feel so much better! That said, I'm waiting for the final "I'm done" decision and then I'm going under the knife...

[JElaineB]

I have lost 45 pounds in 5 months but I have a LONG way to go. No saggy skin yet...but it could happen (though I certainly have plenty of "stuff", um, hanging low, everwhere!). DH is losing too and we have joked that we might not be able to pay for college for DS because we will need skin removal surgery instead! :rotflmao:

[army_mom]

when I was younger (high school) I used to weight around 215 lbs. I lost a lot of weight and have maintained that weight loss for the most part. My boobs have never looked great because of it and I always felt like I've had a "pooch" (even before DD). With DD I gained a lot of weight and was around 205 when I delivered. I have lost all that weight and am back to pre-baby weight. I am seriously considering some "work" but want to make sure we are done having kids before putting any $$ into it. I'll be interested to see everyone's responses...

[OKKiddo]

Apparently all off topic.

[Katigre]

Herniated stomach muscles? Can you tell me a little bit about that? I'm pretty sure something isn't right with my tummy (it hurts to lift, it always pokes out in my stomach region and I look 7 months pregnant after a glass of water).

Google "diastasis'

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[bostonsmama]

I've lost and kept off over 70lbs for 5 years (all before getting pregnant), gained 27 while pregnant, lost that, too, and have since only gained back about 5 lbs (now that I'm making less wise choices about eating DD's leftover food) from my lowest weight. I'm lucky that I lost the weight before I hit my 30s. I wonder if it's genetics or just dumb luck that I didn't carry around a lot of loose skin. Ironically, all of my current friends think I've been skinny my whole life, that it's not a struggle for me, especially since I didn't get a single stretch mark while pregnant, etc, but there is no hard and fast rule for what skin or your body will look like after you lose weight. I think it'd be silly to say that you don't want to lose weight the slow way b/c you'll need surgery anyways. I just don't think that's true. Besides, you could get all the tummy tuck you want, but it doesn't make omentum fat (the kind woven throughout your organs that puts you at greater risk of heart attack and death) go away. I would just start your journey to health and see where it takes you. Then, you might be able to save the $$$ on a tummy tuck and just get a breast lift. I may be there in 10 years--nursing 2.25yrs will do that!

[OKKiddo]

off topic

[Katigre]

Thank you for that. I have just confirmed it after watching a couple videos on how to check yourself. I definitely have it. When I do the small crunch and feel with my fingers I can easily fit in two fingers above my navel and at my navel I get 3 fingers. :( I guess this means a trip to the Dr? And would any of that explain my back hurting more (it's throbbing just from checking)?

Yes. A weak core means a sore back. There are physical therapy exercises that can shrink a diastasis. Mine is just one finger at my belly button and is considered normal for a woman who has had children. I Know some women who have a 4 finger separation.


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[OKKiddo]

Off topic

[magnoliaparadise]

Hi, OP here - thanks so much for all these responses!

Okkiddo, it sounds like you have some great questions about diastastis. I would love to get more posts on weight loss and the question I started on the thread. Would you mind starting a separate thread if you are interested in talking about diastastis? You might get a lot more information or responses from people who have it, too and reach out to others like you who did not know you have it (I will be looking it up, too, though think I probably don't have it). And this was a pretty hard post for me to start (emotionally) so I'd really like to stick to it.

These posts are SO helpful, everyone. Please continue to post with your stories and views.

Thanks!

[OKKiddo]

There ya go. All yours. It was not easy in the slightest for me to put my info out there for a public message board either. I'm sorry things took a slight detour.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

there is no hard and fast rule for what skin or your body will look like after you lose weight
:yeahthat: it took me 2 years to lose the baby weight and while my body doesn't look the same (boobs have changed the most) I still feel way better than before. I actually didn't end up with much loose skin at all and my stomach does not look that much different now than it did prekids. But I never had a flat stomach to begin with, so maybe I had lower expectations. :)

And actually I think diastasis is pretty relevant to the discussion of still having a tummy pooch /floppy belly despite losing all the baby weight. It is really common for women to get diastasis from pregnancy and even after losing all the weight, If those muscles are separated, the belly will hang out (ESP after eating, drinking, etc) bc there is nothing to hold it in. Luckily there are exercises that can be done to reduce it. I'm not sure if I have it but I know after doing core strengthening exercises for weeks in a row my tummy looks tons better (much less floppier) than before even though my weight stays the same.

[magnoliaparadise]

Hi,
Okkido, I did not mean to offend at all, so I am sorry if i did. This was just so much more emotional than I thought it would be for me writing and I have been so upset with myself for not taking care of myself weight-wise. After reading Ms.Pacman's post, I realized for the first time that there was more of a correlation between diastasis and extended flab (even if that isn't my issue - not clear, but probably not) than I had thought before. Anyway, I really appreciate your sharing your story, so thank you. I didn't realize it was emotional for other people because I have more weight to lose than some others (sigh).
By the way, there is a great inspiring website called runningforcookies in which a blogger went through surgery after losing a TON of weight and it is a really sweet read if anyone is interested.
Thanks again Okkido and everyone!

[JElaineB]

Hi,
Okkido, I did not mean to offend at all, so I am sorry if i did. This was just so much more emotional than I thought it would be for me writing and I have been so upset with myself for not taking care of myself weight-wise. After reading Ms.Pacman's post, I realized for the first time that there was more of a correlation between diastasis and extended flab (even if that isn't my issue - not clear, but probably not) than I had thought before. Anyway, I really appreciate your sharing your story, so thank you. I didn't realize it was emotional for other people because I have more weight to lose than some others (sigh).
By the way, there is a great inspiring website called runningforcookies in which a blogger went through surgery after losing a TON of weight and it is a really sweet read if anyone is interested.
Thanks again Okkido and everyone!

Unfortunately the thread is now completely disrupted now that OKKiddo has felt the need to remove her posts about diastastis which frankly was not completely OT. Threads tend to wander a bit, doesn't make it a bad thing. And I can assure you, I have more to lose than anyone else on this thread. I am looking at losing well over half my highest body weight total to get down to even the high end of "normal". I do not have my body image and my self-image tied together, however, so I don't get all emotional over it, I'm sorry if you do.

[lhafer]

Well, I will post my story because I'm pretty upfront about it. It's not for everyone for sure. I had weight loss surgery last summer. And it's been the best thing I could have ever done for myself.

Growing up I was stick thin. The summer before my freshman year of high school, I hit puberty (age 14). My hormones went pretty out of whack I think. I gained about 50 pounds in a few short months, my boobs grew from nothing to a size C cup (talk about stretch marks!), and aunt flow became a very strong, lingering regular visitor.

Fast forward to my Jr/Sr year of high school. Nothing was working to get the weight off, so I stopped eating. I literally ate 3-4 meals A WEEK (not exaggerating). Gum my best friend. I would do 500 leg lifts, 200 crunches, etc every night. I got the weight off and then some. I ended up about 20lbs underweight. This took me through my first year of college.

In college life was stressful to say the least - mainly because of how desperately broke and poor we were. Junk food came into the house, we were both working 2+ jobs to pay bills and keep the roof over our head. I put the weight back on, and then some. I ended up 120lbs overweight. I would exercise, and it wouldn't go anywhere. I would eat right, and loose some, and it would come right back, plus more. I had my hormones checked, thyroid checked, etc - all "normal". I tried all the diets, exercising, etc. But knowing I had over 100lbs to loose was so VERY daunting to me. Even taking it 20lbs at a time, I felt like I was looking at a mountain I could never climb alone. So I decided to have the surgery.

That was July of 2012. I am now 85lbs lighter, and about 30lbs from my goal. I have the saggy skin, flabby arms, and don't even WANT to talk about my boobs. I still have boobs, but they are like deflated water balloons. I am working out and hopefully we will see where my skin and flab are in about another year. I will most likely need some sort of boob lift/augmentation (not to be bigger, just to be back UP where they should be!) and some sort of tummy tuck. I carry all of my weight in my midsection (apple shape is the worst way to carry weight there is). So getting that weight off is VERY difficult.

The other thing to realize is that as you get older, your body will NEVER go back to what it was. :( Sad I know. But I know that at 35, I will not get my 25 year old body back, especially now that I have ruined it. Even with exercise, etc....pretty sure surgery would be the only thing to get my body looking like that again. Unless you just had hours upon hours of time to work out in the gym (because there are people who do - and they do look like that again). I don't. So I'm 95% sure plastic surgery of some sort will be in future.

But the flip side is - my health is 100% better. My cholesterol and triglycerides have never been better my entire life. I've always had hypertension, and am now in the process of weaning off my medication altogether. I feel good about myself. I look good (in clothes - naked in front of the mirror is another story). And I know that I am a much healthier person now. That in turn allows me to help my kids and husband lead healthier lives.

[magnoliaparadise]

Unfortunately the thread is now completely disrupted now that OKKiddo has felt the need to remove her posts about diastastis which frankly was not completely OT. Threads tend to wander a bit, doesn't make it a bad thing. And I can assure you, I have more to lose than anyone else on this thread. I am looking at losing well over half my highest body weight total to get down to even the high end of "normal". I do not have my body image and my self-image tied together, however, so I don't get all emotional over it, I'm sorry if you do.

Hey JElaineB,
That was really a hurtful post. Yes, I do have emotion connected with it and was looking for support/ideas/stories. I am not ashamed to say that. I have never heard of a BBBer posting so unsupportively. I am kind of shocked by your post. I did think that there might be another thread that would be better suited for the questions that were being asked and I asked politely. And I did not ask Okkiddo to delete anything. And it's only a thread, so if you feel that it has been disrupted, you are always free to start one on diastastis or anything else. And I even apologized - not because I felt like I had done anything wrong, but because I feel like I hurt someone's feelings and all I was asking was for questions to be asked elsewhere, and I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings about that. I am sorry that you feel that you have a lot of weight to lose and great for you that you don't get emotional.

[magnoliaparadise]

Well, I will post my story because I'm pretty upfront about it. It's not for everyone for sure. I had weight loss surgery last summer. And it's been the best thing I could have ever done for myself.

lhafer, thank you so much for this post. It meant a lot to me that you shared your story.

[JElaineB]

Hey JElaineB,
That was really a hurtful post. Yes, I do have emotion connected with it and was looking for support/ideas/stories. I am not ashamed to say that. I have never heard of a BBBer posting so unsupportively. I am kind of shocked by your post. I did think that there might be another thread that would be better suited for the questions that were being asked and I asked politely. And I did not ask Okkiddo to delete anything. And it's only a thread, so if you feel that it has been disrupted, you are always free to start one on diastastis or anything else. And I even apologized - not because I felt like I had done anything wrong, but because I feel like I hurt someone's feelings and all I was asking was for questions to be asked elsewhere, and I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings about that. I am sorry that you feel that you have a lot of weight to lose and great for you that you don't get emotional.

I'm not being unsupportive. I made what I felt was an appropriate and positive contribution upthread. In my second post, I just made a statement of fact that the thread has been disrupted because of your comment to Okkiddo that she should essentially take her issues elsewhere. I also said I'm sorry that you are emotional about your body image. Many people are, it's nothing to be ashamed of and I didn't itend it as an insult. But for myself, many years ago I figured out that I'm much better off by not tying my self-esteem to my body weight.

[lhafer]

I am somewhat emotional about my weight. But I can tell you the EXACT moment I decided to get my surgery. I had studied WLS (weight loss surgery)options for 3+ years. I decided to hold off until having a second (and last) child. I was one of the luckier ones where it didn't seem that my weight seem to associate itself with my fertility.

Anyway, it was in late March of 2012. I picked up my kindergartener from school one day. She told me that the other kids in school were making fun of me because of my weight, and she felt the need to defend me to them. I felt so ashamed and disgusted and heart broken than in that moment. I never, ever wanted my children to EVER feel the need to have to defend their parents to other people. It's okay for kids to think their parents are weird, or sticks in the mud, or whatever when the teenage years roll around. But for my 5 YEAR OLD to have to defend me to a classmate? No. That was my last straw.

[westwoodmom04]

I am somewhat emotional about my weight. But I can tell you the EXACT moment I decided to get my surgery. I had studied WLS (weight loss surgery)options for 3+ years. I decided to hold off until having a second (and last) child. I was one of the luckier ones where it didn't seem that my weight seem to associate itself with my fertility.

Anyway, it was in late March of 2012. I picked up my kindergartener from school one day. She told me that the other kids in school were making fun of me because of my weight, and she felt the need to defend me to them. I felt so ashamed and disgusted and heart broken than in that moment. I never, ever wanted my children to EVER feel the need to have to defend their parents to other people. It's okay for kids to think their parents are weird, or sticks in the mud, or whatever when the teenage years roll around. But for my 5 YEAR OLD to have to defend me to a classmate? No. That was my last straw.

Thanks so much for sharing your story, I really appreciate your honesty. You've given yourself and your family a great gift, a healthy mom that's going to stay that way.

[OKKiddo]

Hey JElaineB,
That was really a hurtful post. Yes, I do have emotion connected with it and was looking for support/ideas/stories. I am not ashamed to say that. I have never heard of a BBBer posting so unsupportively. I am kind of shocked by your post. I did think that there might be another thread that would be better suited for the questions that were being asked and I asked politely. And I did not ask Okkiddo to delete anything. And it's only a thread, so if you feel that it has been disrupted, you are always free to start one on diastastis or anything else. And I even apologized - not because I felt like I had done anything wrong, but because I feel like I hurt someone's feelings and all I was asking was for questions to be asked elsewhere, and I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings about that. I am sorry that you feel that you have a lot of weight to lose and great for you that you don't get emotional.

I will say that what you said to me felt like a public reprimand and your "polite" request for me to please post elsewhere made me feel isolated, alone, publicly humiliated, and embarrassed. I was posting about my personal thoughts on my very personal issues with weight, weight gain, surgery, etc. Of course I have emotions and feelings tied to that, you're not alone in that respect. I saw your thread, felt like I couldn't/shouldn't post my initial post because it is so personal and humiliating. But I thought that if I had been the original poster truly in search of information that I would feel even worse if no one responded.

I will not be coming back to this post because I don't want it to turn into an argument. I'm sorry I deleted my posts and caused any disruption but I felt that is the result that you had wanted--for me to remove myself from your topic.

[sste]

lhafer, our very good friend is a fellowship-trained bariatric surgeon and we looked into this for a family member. I am so glad you pursued this. My brother died last spring at age 37 from obesity -- apnea directly due to his obesity. If you had waited it is likely you would have developed heart and other complications that would have disqualified you from the procedure with most surgeons.

For the kind of weight you describe, there is almost no chance you could have lost and kept that off without surgery. There are a lot of studies that show this and in particular our friend points to a huge longitudinal study from Sweden that revealed people don't successfully keep off the weight they lose *in cases of serious obesity.* He always tells us this is why he loves his work -- it is a very effective surgery and the other alternatives are almost entirely ineffective. For anyone else interested, we also learned that most of the risk/complications you read about with these surgeries come from general surgeons who have not been specifically trained in it. It is a lucrative procedure and many can't resist doing these procedures even though they don't have the training and therefore have much higher complication rates. For a fellowship trained surgeon with a good reputation the outcomes are excellent.

Not saying everyone here should get weight loss surgery! When people say they are overweight that means all kinds of things and surgery is reserved clinically defined categories of obesity.