Indianamom2
04-15-2013, 02:19 PM
Where to begin? Dd (8) has had a number of challenges since birth. Most we've worked through with therapy and time, but a few remain. She has always had a terrible time with anxiety and lately it has just been more out of control than usual. She dreads going to school even though she does like school and is in a very loving/nurturing/and understanding class/school (it's truly an irrational thing). Her anxiety and the fall-out from it (not eating/constant stomach aches/much crying and anger and lashing out) have affected us all and we've just got to get her some help.
Of course, we've been trying to figure out exactly what was in play since she was an infant, but we started in earnest at 3 and have had MULTIPLE tests or all sorts, we've ruled out a TON of stuff and seen multiple well-regarded specialists and two previous counselors. We are on phychologist number 3 right now and will be starting cognitive behavioral therapy this week, once every two weeks for 6-8 sessions. After another $1000 battery of tests (TOVA/Woodcock-Johnson/etc) she has been formaly diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (absolutely agree with this) and very likely ADHD, which we've also heard theorized before, except that she cannot be formerly diagnosed because her teacher says it does not affect her work (she's a straight A student). Except that all the tests we've done except her teacher's form clearly indicate the presence of ADHD. She also has a somatization disorder (basically feeling sick because of all the anxiety).
With all this in mind, we feel like we've truly tried everything anyone has suggested and things are not better. It's honestly affecting everyone in our household and we are just exhausted. The one thing we haven't tried is anxiety medication in addition to counseling. Dh and I both are on anti-anxiety meds. It runs EXTREMELY strongly in his family and I have panic attacks. After a lot of soul-searching and researching and consulting with drs., we feel like a trial of something (probably Zoloft) would be appropriate. Her current phychologist agrees, but obviously can't prescribe (feel like I got the bait and switch there too, but that's water under the bridge at this point). He told us that DD's pedi (whom we love and trust) would be able to prescribe the Zoloft. However, she won't, not because she thinks it's wrong in this case, but because she doesn't feel comfortable monitoring children on pyschiatric meds. She doesn't prescribe them at all. I can respect that, but now we have to find a pyschiatrist, which apparently is next to impossible in our area....or at least one that deals with children and isn't booked into JUNE.
I know, June isn't technically that far off, but for a family that has been struggling and a child who is truly miserable at least half of her time and who is literally begging for help...it feels like an eternity. On top of that, we will not actually be seeing a pychiatrist in person. Oh no, she's going to be teleconferencing with us. And for that distinct privilege, we get to pay an extra $46 (probably per session, I just didn't have the heart to ask, because the nurse said insurance probably won't pay it and the bills just keep coming....)
I just feel defeated and frustrated and sad. All I want is to help my child. My 8 year old girl who has fooled nearly everyone into thinking that she's just fine, except that her brave face mask falls apart the moment she gets home from school and her dad, brother and I have to try to pick up the pieces and help her carry on. Why is it so hard to get help?
Sorry this is so long, but I needed to write it out somewhere. I should add that Dh is also struggling with med changes and on-going anxiety/depression and Ds is 3.5 and has overnight turned into a little terror, partly I think because of all the stress here. Something has to give somewhere. I feel like I'm trying to hold two people together and keep a little guy from getting tangled up in the fall-out and I don't have any help. We don't have family nearby and no extra money for outside help. I'm ok (no worries there...I'll probably get everybody else stable and then fall apart myself, and I am and will continue to take care of myself) but we need help and just keep hitting a brick wall.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Of course, we've been trying to figure out exactly what was in play since she was an infant, but we started in earnest at 3 and have had MULTIPLE tests or all sorts, we've ruled out a TON of stuff and seen multiple well-regarded specialists and two previous counselors. We are on phychologist number 3 right now and will be starting cognitive behavioral therapy this week, once every two weeks for 6-8 sessions. After another $1000 battery of tests (TOVA/Woodcock-Johnson/etc) she has been formaly diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (absolutely agree with this) and very likely ADHD, which we've also heard theorized before, except that she cannot be formerly diagnosed because her teacher says it does not affect her work (she's a straight A student). Except that all the tests we've done except her teacher's form clearly indicate the presence of ADHD. She also has a somatization disorder (basically feeling sick because of all the anxiety).
With all this in mind, we feel like we've truly tried everything anyone has suggested and things are not better. It's honestly affecting everyone in our household and we are just exhausted. The one thing we haven't tried is anxiety medication in addition to counseling. Dh and I both are on anti-anxiety meds. It runs EXTREMELY strongly in his family and I have panic attacks. After a lot of soul-searching and researching and consulting with drs., we feel like a trial of something (probably Zoloft) would be appropriate. Her current phychologist agrees, but obviously can't prescribe (feel like I got the bait and switch there too, but that's water under the bridge at this point). He told us that DD's pedi (whom we love and trust) would be able to prescribe the Zoloft. However, she won't, not because she thinks it's wrong in this case, but because she doesn't feel comfortable monitoring children on pyschiatric meds. She doesn't prescribe them at all. I can respect that, but now we have to find a pyschiatrist, which apparently is next to impossible in our area....or at least one that deals with children and isn't booked into JUNE.
I know, June isn't technically that far off, but for a family that has been struggling and a child who is truly miserable at least half of her time and who is literally begging for help...it feels like an eternity. On top of that, we will not actually be seeing a pychiatrist in person. Oh no, she's going to be teleconferencing with us. And for that distinct privilege, we get to pay an extra $46 (probably per session, I just didn't have the heart to ask, because the nurse said insurance probably won't pay it and the bills just keep coming....)
I just feel defeated and frustrated and sad. All I want is to help my child. My 8 year old girl who has fooled nearly everyone into thinking that she's just fine, except that her brave face mask falls apart the moment she gets home from school and her dad, brother and I have to try to pick up the pieces and help her carry on. Why is it so hard to get help?
Sorry this is so long, but I needed to write it out somewhere. I should add that Dh is also struggling with med changes and on-going anxiety/depression and Ds is 3.5 and has overnight turned into a little terror, partly I think because of all the stress here. Something has to give somewhere. I feel like I'm trying to hold two people together and keep a little guy from getting tangled up in the fall-out and I don't have any help. We don't have family nearby and no extra money for outside help. I'm ok (no worries there...I'll probably get everybody else stable and then fall apart myself, and I am and will continue to take care of myself) but we need help and just keep hitting a brick wall.
Thanks for letting me vent.