Finding a good soccer coach

[Gracemom]

My son played spring soccer with a team that included kids from his school. He loved it and has some talent for it. The team is all 5 & 6 year old boys in K. One of the players' dad coaches with assistance from other dads. Good sportsmanship is VERY important to me, and I have some major concerns about this team. I need to decide if we should stay on this team for the summer season, or look around for another team. This would be tricky, but doable.

My son loves the team and wants to continue. The coach has a sarcastic humor, which he likes. Here are my concerns:

1. The coach has a formal complaint against him from another coach for a disagreement during a game. I don't know the details. I do know our coach always complains about the other team's coaches and parents and their bad behavior.

2. The coach has a disagreement with the ref. during every game over a call. He has a temper and although he doesn't yell, he looks pissed off.

3. The coach's son is one of our best players, and makes a lot of our team's points. However, he pushes other players out of the way when they go for the ball, and even got reprimanded by the ref. for it. If I were the coach, I would not allow that behavior and would sit his butt on the bench until he stopped pushing other kids. One of those kids got hurt from the pushing.

My gut is telling me this is not the team for my son. My DH wants to give it another try for the summer season, then look for another team for the fall. What if the next team's coach is even worse? I have witnessed other coaches yelling at the boys during the games. I don't want that either. Why is it so hard to find a good coach? Neither my DH or I know much about soccer, so we don't feel like we would be good coaches. What do you think we should do?

[PunkyBoo]

My husband played soccer his whole life (with a time playing semi-pro prior to formation of the MLS) and has coached Punkin for 1-2 seasons per year for the past 4 years. The issues you described about your sons coach are not acceptable. Most children's leagues have strong "bylaws" against all of that. I would honestly voice my concerns to the league. At that age especially, it is completely inappropriate coaching behavior.I would tell the league that you want your son to play next season but request that he be placed with another coach. Voice it in a tone of concern for what your son is being exposed to, not condemnation or anger. ESPECIALLY at that age, soccer issupposed to be about fun, encouragement, and learning love for a sport. Volunteer coaching is tough, harder work than they are usually given credit for. I'd bet all or most have had moments of anger or saying / doing regrettable things but the sum total of your experience with this coach is not in the spirit of youth team sports.

[lovin2shop]

We went through a similar situation in another sport. The boys all really enjoyed playing together, but the Dad/Coach eventually became intolerable. We had to leave, but the many of the boys are close friends and really wanted to stay on the team together. My DS jointed the team when he 6 if I remember correctly, and it split up at 10. Some of these boys had played together since Preschool. It ended messy with the team splitting in half, and our side leaving for another league altogether. In hindsight, I wish we had left much earlier.

[nfowife]

I would move on now. A good coach can make a big difference! Not only in the skill level of the kids but in the attitude of the players and parents.
Go with your gut.

[Melbel]

We have found that the best way to have a coach that you agree with is to coach the team. My DH has coached both our daughter's teams for years. We are able to build our own roster with nice families. DD1 has played with many of the same girls since she was 4 (both fall and spring seasons). We have had waiting lists for the team some seasons. It makes it an enjoyable experience for all of us. We hold practices back to back on Friday later afternoons in our neighborhood and the moms often enjoy a glass of wine together.

While my DH does have some soccer experience (he played in high school), most leagues provide training and suggested drills for each week. There are also a ton of instructional videos available. You may also be able to find high school soccer players who are looking for volunteer hours (we have used high school girls for DD1's team for a couple years now).

[westwoodmom04]

Our local rec league teams are always divided by ability level following an evaluation day. Maybe look for that? Our kids have always had a kid or two on the team they know and many they do not. I think this has worked great for learning how to make new friends.

[crl]

That is so frustrating. Our baseball coaches never do any of that. And most especially they never ever give any argument or attitude to the umpire. We had one of our players hit by a pitch and it was called a strike and our coaches did not bat an eyelash.

If you have the ability to chose a different coach, I would do so.

Even if you don't feel up to coaching, maybe you could volunteer to be assistants?

Catherine

[teresah00]

I wouldn't stick w that coach. 7yo DD has played 3 seasons ad 5yo DS is in his second. There's no ref. a coach or Parent from each team 'refs' the game. It's all about fun and encouragement.


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