Would you respond? How?

[firstbaby]

Granted, this whole thing is so small compared to what else is going on right now, but my feelings are hurt over something. I need some advice whether to respond or not, and if so, how.

I teach a class once a week for a few hours and there are 8 of us that teach. There is a director directing the chaos so to speak and we just wrapped up our classes until September. Six to eight weeks ago, she put a dinner on everyone's calendar as her thank you to us for teaching. No one had a conflict. Fast forward to the other night, and she found out that a couple of the other teachers have a big event the next night and it would be hard for them to make the dinner as they need to prepare. She proposed a new date and I immediately wrote back that I would be out of town that night - it has been on the calendar for weeks and I can't change it.

Last night, I got an email that said "Sorry, but you are the only one who can't make the alternate date so we are going with the alternate date. We will miss you". I am really hurt over this. I know schedules can be hard to coordinate, but the other teachers could make the dinner if they wanted to - just a lot to fit in. I physically can't be in two states at once. It just stinks to feel unimportant to the group and honestly, it was a tough go this year with teaching. Not the teaching per se, but some of the dynamics and cast of characters that go with it.

I'm torn whether to respond or not. Thoughts?

[BunnyBee]

I would be hurt by that as well. I don't know what an appropriate response would be. :hug:

[crl]

I would be hurt as well. I wouldn't say anything more though as whatever they did now wouldn't change that I felt hurt, yk?

Catherine

[wellyes]

Yeah, some thank you. I'd be upset too. She should at LEAST offer to have a special coffee with you her treat. Not the same, but, a simple "too bad, we'll miss you!" is clearly inadequate here.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Yeah, some thank you. I'd be upset too. She should at LEAST offer to have a special coffee with you her treat. Not the same, but, a simple "too bad, we'll miss you!" is clearly inadequate here.

:yeahthat:

I totally agree. I'd be very hurt as well, especially given it's supposed to be a "thank you" dinner, and she had let everyone know weeks in advance. The "sorry, you are the only one that can't make it" comment seems rather dismissive. I agree with Catherine, not sure what to say if anything at this point because IMO i'd still feel very hurt given she apparently cared more about not inconveniencing a couple other teachers than about letting me attend at all.

[momm]

Not nice at all!!

I hope someone here can give you good words to respond to her, I really think you shouldnt let this one go.

[Philly Mom]

I might reply to all that you are very disappointed that you will miss it because previously planned travel out of state and the group could not find a night that was good for everyone. I would conclude by adding that this was a night you were really looking forward to.

[TwinFoxes]

That sucks. I'd be bummed, and honestly I'd have a hard time not taking it as a hint that my work wasn't appreciated. I wouldn't reply about my disappointment, it's a business relationship after all.

[LizLemon]

If I were in your shoes I would probably be a bit hurt as well, but I also don't think I would respond further with an additional email. You already said you couldn't come and got less than stellar response from this person. In my experience it can be difficult to schedule work dinners, because at least one person almost always has something going on. It could be that they just picked this alternate day and don't want to keep rescheduling. I wouldn't necessarily take the dinner scheduling to mean they don't appreciate your work, although I'm sure it feels that way. I wish that could have scheduled a time that worked for you too. :(


I wouldn't reply about my disappointment, it's a business relationship after all.

:yeahthat:

[ahisma]

I would be disappointed and hurt as well.

I don't know that it was intended to be a personal slight or is a reflection on your value to the team. I really think the coordinator is just dense.

I'd probably reply with - "What a bummer, I was so looking forward to it. I hope you guys have a great time - I'll be missing you guys and looking forward to next year's dinner."

[dhano923]

In my experience it can be difficult to schedule work dinners, because at least one person almost always has something going on. It could be that they just picked this alternate day and don't want to keep rescheduling. I wouldn't necessarily take the dinner scheduling to mean they don't appreciate your work, although I'm sure it feels that way. I wish that could have scheduled a time that worked for you too. :(

:yeahthat:
From a scheduling standpoint, it's better to have 1 person MIA than 2 people MIA. I'm sure it wasn't personal.