Afterschool for middle school/high school

[niccig]

So after school hours seem when kids can get into trouble What happens when school isn't close to home, so they can't walk, and parents work? Many after school programs seem to stop at end of elementary.

Just thinking ahead and wondering how others get their older kids home from school.

[AnnieW625]

This is a big concern for us as well. We have two public high schools in our district less than two miles from us, an a all girls Catholic high school and another public high school in a neighboring district about two miles from us. If we stay in the area our kids will most likely go to one of those 4 schools. 3 of the 4 are known for athletics and for other academic related extra activities. The 4th high school (3rd public high school) will open in the fall.

If we move the areas in Nor Cal we want to move to a good high rated public high school is going to be our top choice as to where to live. We will most likely do k-8 Catholic though no matter where we live unless the school is not that good, but so far in the areas we are looking at that is not an issue.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Sports, music...usually schools have an activity bus or kids carpool.

[StantonHyde]

There are after school programs like the Y for older kids or Boys/Girls Clubs. Or kids can volunteer somewhere close by and you can get them then. Or hire a sitter. Plus by the time they get older there are lots of activities related to school that take place right after school so that could take care of some days for you--or you need a sitter to drive them around!

My parents were lucky. We lived 2 miles south of town--nowhere to go and nobody to see!

[boolady]

This is something I worry about already, and DD is only in K. Her school's aftercare program, which is run by the Y and we have been very pleased with, ends with 4th grade. There is no way she's going home alone in 5th grade, and I worry that even in 4th, she's not going to want to go. It seems like after 2nd grade, the kids start phasing out...there are only a handful of 3rd graders and one 4th grader this year.

We'll have to figure something out, but I don't know what. Potential ideas include hitting up a neighbor or one of her parents' friends, or perhaps my dad on M/F when he's not working. I hope you get some ideas in this thread.

[ahisma]

I have a teen. I work from home part time so I am usually here, although she rarely is. Her activities eat up much of her after school time.

Currently she's in:
Drama stage crew (school based)
Hooping class (group lessons)
Teen Art crew (through a local museum)


She's going to be starting a 40 hour sex-ed class through Planned Parenthood soon to become a teen ambassador. This summer she'll add on volunteering at the Children's Museum.

Truly, she has little time to get into trouble. She checks in via text, etc. and I always know where she is, but she's definitely busy.

[ahisma]

For the younger set, we have a few in home day cares that take a lot of elementary / middle school kids after school. There's usually a whole group of them there, seems to go well.

[lovin2shop]

Yes, boolady, we're experiencing the aftercare fatigue in 4th grade. My DS used to LOVE it, and we only have him signed up for a couple of days of the week. The afterschool hours are a big factor in our decision to keep our full time nanny next year when both boys are in school. Her hours will be adjusted somewhat, and she'll pick up more household responsibility, but I really don't know how else we would deal with the care issues for summer, sick days, school breaks, after school activities, etc. otherwise. I was hoping that we could cut out/down this expense, but my eyes are open now at how much we really need the continuity of care. One of our close friends uses college students for aftercare, and this is a pretty good option, but the turn over is high since their schedules vary so much from semester to semester.

[egoldber]

We are fortunate to have options. We just finished signing older DD up for MS (only grades 7 and 8 here) so the options are fresh in my mind....

Our current after care has an option for MS kids where they check in and then have the run of the center. They can hang out in the elementary after care, do activities, do homework in the lobby, etc. But it isn't especially popular.

The MS itself has a TON and I mean a TON of after school clubs. The school gets out at 2:20. They have activities from 2:30 - 4:30 on M,W,Thursday and they have a late bus on those days. On Tuesday and Friday they have activities from 2:30-5:30 and you have to pick up. But that should work very well for our schedule. They have dozens of clubs for the kids to choose from: drama, books clubs, Harry Potter club, sci fi club, anime/comic books, arts&crafts, "chat club", cheerleading, homework, tutoring, basketball, soccer, board games, library time, etc. Apparently some kids are trying to start a Dr. Who club. These are all run by the MS faculty and is FREE!!!. Frankly, I was shocked, but I am so thankful and incredibly pleased.

[JBaxter]

Is there a reason a 12+ child cant stay by themselves for a couple hours after school? Mine went to public school so they rode a bus. I had no issue once they were in middle school allowing that.

[BunnyBee]

That's why I doubt I'll ever go back to work full time until they're off to college!

[marymoo86]

Is there a reason a 12+ child cant stay by themselves for a couple hours after school? Mine went to public school so they rode a bus. I had no issue once they were in middle school allowing that.

:yeahthat:

I stayed home in the afternoons when I didn't have practice or other school activities. So did most of my friends. Granted I wasn't in the city so I was not walking anywhere but it didn't even cross my mind to do anything nefarious.

[egoldber]

Is there a reason a 12+ child cant stay by themselves for a couple hours after school?

Studies show that the hours that children are most likely to drink, use drugs, smoke, and have sex is after school and before parents get home from work, usually 3-6 PM. The average age of onset for many of these behaviors is 13-15. And the younger a kid starts these activities, the more likely they are to be problematic as opposed to just an occasional experiment.

Many kids will do fine at home, but many will get in trouble whether they seek it out or stumble into it. I have kids who struggle with impulse control issues so this is a huge concern to me. I'm OK with them being home alone occasionally.

[AngB]

To answer your question, I think afterschool activities then the activity bus or stuff like the Boys and Girls club are a great option. Or if you know someone who drives their child and lives near you, that might work too.

----
As a side story on this topic:

Several districts in our area are doing the dumbest thing ever with their high schoolers (obviously IMO). Every 5 day week of school, on Thursdays, they have block scheduling and a half day while teachers do professional development the second half of the day.

So let's get a bunch of teenagers out of bed and all together, then let them leave about noon while their parents are still working for several hours, even after school sports haven't started yet and coaches are in meetings, and see what happens.

I will be interested to see if their teen pregnancy rates go up over the next few years. I know I would have loved this as a kid, would hate it as a parent, and think it's the dumbest idea ever as a teacher. They would be much better off just having 1 or 2 full days off a month for professional development--at least that way you aren't getting the kids out of bed and all together with a free afternoon and no supervision ahead of them. Make them make a little more effort to find their trouble and get together.

[niccig]

Is there a reason a 12+ child cant stay by themselves for a couple hours after school? Mine went to public school so they rode a bus. I had no issue once they were in middle school allowing that.

No busses in our school district. So if you're not walking distance from your school, how do you get your kid when school is over and there's no aftercare options? Many of you live in well-funded districts, we're in CA and they can't even pay teachers let alone after school activities. We're hoping to move before DS is in MS and DH is hoping for more flexible work so he can be around.

[JBaxter]

No busses in our school district. So if you're not walking distance from your school, how do you get your kid when school is out?

I've never been in that situation. I didn't know public schools didn't have to provide transportaion to and from schools. I know the area we were in before did not have after care after elementary. I moved to an area with buses but the driving age is also 15.

[niccig]

I've never been in that situation. I didn't know public schools didn't have to provide transportaion to and from schools. I know the area we were in before did not have after care after elementary. I moved to an area with buses but the driving age is also 15.

If our local MS and HS were decent, DS could walk home from them. But they're not. We're hoping for a charter school that's driving distance for rest of elementary and they're planning a MS and HS, but DS could not walk home and public transport in LA is a joke.

DH is really hoping we've moved by then to area with better public schools. If we stay here, I can myself changing jobs so I can do pick-up. I'll be a SLP by then, so may do home health or something where I can set own schedule and deal with pay cut for those years.

[StantonHyde]

niccig--what public transportation is available? I know plenty of kids here who take the regular city buses to private schools that don't have bussing programs. Or they could take a bus to a volunteer job etc. Or bike. There were days when I walked the 2 miles home from school AFTER track practice!

[Globetrotter]

Our area in CA has local buses that are chartered just for the high school and middle school kids during a certain time (so the bus does not accept others). I think all or most of the local kids use that option. I don't know if that works after a school activity, in which case I'm guessing the parents do pick up.

egoldberg, I am shocked and jealous at all your after school clubs!! In our home district the teachers stopped even advising activities at one point, but perhaps it's improved now.

[niccig]

niccig--what public transportation is available? I know plenty of kids here who take the regular city buses to private schools that don't have bussing programs. Or they could take a bus to a volunteer job etc. Or bike. There were days when I walked the 2 miles home from school AFTER track practice!

In Los Angeles...ahh, nothing really convenient. Public transport here is a joke. What we'll do will depend on where DS ends up, and what DH and I are doing for work. We have a few more years of ES, I was just wondering what others do with older kids.

I used to get bus home with my sisters, if missed school bus, no way to get home as 20 mins drive. Then we walked 2 miles from bus stop to our house. We weren't able to do any afterschool activities as my mom was a teacher at a school in different direction. We didn't get into any trouble as lived in the middle of NOWHERE! DS is growing up in Los Angeles, it's just so different from what I experienced.

[A1icia]

I know things have changed since I was a kid but we just took public transportation home once we were old enough My mom didn't work but we lived in the city and only had one car. Luckly we were in a carpool for the mornings.

I figure my son will do the same. Fornately my DH is a teacher is will get home at about the same time.

[Ceepa]

When we get to that point I assume DC will be involved in after school clubs, sports IF they are interested. If not, they'll be free to come home and be alone for a while if no one is home then. I'm not worried about setting up childcare for my kids in middle school or beyond.

[SnuggleBuggles]

When we get to that point I assume DC will be involved in after school clubs, sports IF they are interested. If not, they'll be free to come home and be alone for a while if no one is home then. I'm not worried about setting up childcare for my kids in middle school or beyond.

:yeahthat:

[Tondi G]

I am lucky in that I am still a SAHM but SO thankful that my DS's Charter MS offers an after school program, I think until 5:30 or 6:00 pm, if we needed him to stay. Otherwise I think I would see about a carpool situation and having my kiddo stay home alone for an hour or 2 till a parent got home.

[bisous]

Does anyone else think it would make sense to keep "school" in session until parents can realistically get off work? I'm just thinking if sports and activities were integrated into the day, and maybe a true study hall period, we'd lose the problem of tweens and teens unsupervised and bored. Wouldn't it be great if homework was already done when we picked up our kids? And no more driving around? I guess I'm just being philosophical. I don't see this happening anywhere!

[AnnieW625]

Is there a reason a 12+ child cant stay by themselves for a couple hours after school? Mine went to public school so they rode a bus. I had no issue once they were in middle school allowing that.

I have a feeling that while we do have concerns about the kids and the high school environment in our area in general (5 of the 7 high schools in our district have 4200+ students) DH and I will feel the same way and will let our kids stay home after school. If we can ever sell our house and we stay in our area I would like to move closer to DD1's school so she and DD2 or eventually DD2 alone will be able to walk or ride home on her own. We will have a student at DD1's school until she graduates from high school.

My mom stayed at home, but I was left at home to complete homework on my own starting at age 12. My mom wouldn't have been home either if my brother had Scouts, or baseball after school and my mom and sister (who was between 2 and 5 then) usually always went with her. In high school there were times I would get home at 4 or 5 from tennis practice and no one was home. When I was 15-17 and in high school I would watch my sister as well so my mom could run errands, volunteer, or she started working part time. I would ride my bike to my sister's daycare when she was 6 and pick her up and then we'd walk about 1/4 of a mile home. By the time I was a senior though my mom was okay with my sister being at home eith either me or my brother, who was 12 then. In college my mom started working more so on those days my mom requested if at all possible I be home by noon on Fridays and occaissionally by 3 pm the rest of the week. The only rule was to lock the door when we got home. We knew our neighbors as well so they usually knew our schedule as well.

My DH and his brother were latch key kids from age 7 or 8 on. In So Cal they had family near by to contact in an emergency and both their parents worked within 15 minutes of their house. In Nor Cal it was a bit more a commute and there was no family so the kids were always home alone until around 6 pm when MIL or FIL got home from work. DH's brother is 5 yrs. older so by the time DH was 10 and BIL was in high school DH was home sometimes by himself at age 10 alone. He would ride his bike about a mile in the 5th grade, and then in 6th grade he'd walk about 1000 ft. to school. BIL started working as well at 16 or 17 after school so DH was essentially home alone from age 12 until he got a part time job when he was 16. DH did wrestling, BIL played tennis, and was involved in drama.

[AnnieW625]

Does anyone else think it would make sense to keep "school" in session until parents can realistically get off work? I'm just thinking if sports and activities were integrated into the day, and maybe a true study hall period, we'd lose the problem of tweens and teens unsupervised and bored. Wouldn't it be great if homework was already done when we picked up our kids? And no more driving around? I guess I'm just being philosophical. I don't see this happening anywhere!

The new high school in my district is trying an extended day schedule next year. They start at 9 am and get out at 4. One of my co worker's kids is going to go there next year and she works early hours though and carpools from that side of town so was hoping to be able to drop off her son in the AM and he'd just have to take the bus home in the PM. Now I am not sure what she is going to do.

TBH though I think once a child is past 14 yrs. old the idea of after care is not appealing at all. I am just hoping that my kids are okay with after care through the 8th grade unless we move closer to their school. Most kids get tired of it in the 6th or 7th grade.

[YouAreTheFocus]

This is something to think about, for sure! A tough situation. I am thinking back to my own days in MS & HS. I took the bus both ways, Idk what we would have done if there was no transportation--it was certainly too far to walk. I did have afterschool activities 2 days a week, those were clubs I chose to be involved in. Honestly IMO I think it would be odd to require a teen be in activities for 2-3 hrs a day 5 days a week (unless they were really on board, too). For me, at the end of the school day I was ready for some downtime, I wanted to go home, to read, have a snack, hang out with friends, ride my bike, whatever. And my HS got out around 2 pm, so I doubt any school activities went late enough for working parents.

So I think I would aim for activities (at school) a couple days a week, and look into arranging a carpool or finding a transportation service (around here there is a company called "a car 4 kids" that does school pickup/dropoff).

ETA: Annie's comment about 14 yos in aftercare made me remember--at this age I was meeting elem sch kids at school and walking them home, and staying with them until parents got off work. So I certainly wasn't in need of care myself ;)

[Gena]

This is a huge concern for us too. DS is finishing up 3rd grade, so middle school is only a couple of years away. DS will not be able to be home alone at that age.

There is only one place in our area that does afterschool care for middle and high schoolers with special needs. (DS attends the summer program there.) Unfortunately it's in a northern suburb and we are in a southern suburb, so its pretty far from school and there is no transportation available.

At this point, I honestly have no idea what we will do. I'm hoping we will in a financial place where I can drop to part time and be home when DS comes home from school. We also need to look into what resources are available through the county Board for Developmental Disabilities.

[JElaineB]

We're thinking about this issue too for when DS gets into junior high (7th and 8th grade). He's in 4th now, so only a couple of more years. My in-laws currently live across the street, but I anticipate they will be moving to a condo by the time DS is in junior high. A neighbor boy across the street goes to the junior high now and the bus picks him up in the morning about 7:20 am, which is the same time we leave the house now, and brings him home about 3:50 pm. We usually get home at 5 pm. So I imagine some days we will let DS come home and be by himself for just over an hour. There is also a city rec center across the street from DS's junior high. They have free activities every day after school there for the junior high kids. So DS could do that some days as well, we would just have to pick him up there instead of coming right home. I am sure there are after school clubs, etc. at the school as well, but I haven't looked into any information about those yet.

[niccig]

I just want to reiterate that I have no issues with a middle schooler going home by themselves IF they can physically get themselves home.

DS wil not be able to walk as it's 20 mins in car away on freeway, there are no school buses and no public transport options. Just another reason I hope we don't still live in Los Angeles when DS is in MS and HS.

[smilequeen]

Mine will probably go to private school and I'm not up on the public school MS/HS. Many of the private schools have extracurricular requirements. Like they have to do 2 sports (2 different seasons) and 1 other activity/sport or some combination of that. So one fall, one winter, one spring. I can think of one school we are looking closely at that the boys would be there until 5 every day, except they could be opted out if they played a select non-school sport. So if my son is on a select hockey team, that can take the place of the school sponsored team. I don't work, so it should be OK from that perspective. If I did, I'd set up a carpool, which is what I had in HS. I'd for sure trust a MS/HS kid at home alone...unless one proves himself unworthy of that trust.

[Twin Mom]

I was just talking to my mom about this earlier. She was surprised there is no after school care past elementary school. Next year is my DC's last year in ES and they will continue in the Y provided after school program. Fortunately there are lots of 4th and 5th graders still in the program including many of their friends so they don't complain about going.

There are buses in MS so transportation is not an issue and I know there are some after school things they can do so they will probably only go home 3 or maybe 4 days a week on the bus. I will get home about 45 minutes to an hour after them. If they do stuff at the school then a parent will need to pick them up as I don't believe there are later buses. I hope they are mature enough by the time they start MS to be home alone. I know they aren't now. My big concern would be that DS would terrorize DD. He is very controlling and would try to boss her around and she would listen which is a problem!

A friend of mine has twins a year older than mine (but 2 grades ahead) and they are only home for a short time until she gets home b/c she works very close to her house. I hope that I can find a job closer to my house or go part-time but I just don't know if that will be possible by then.

[Clarity]

Studies show that the hours that children are most likely to drink, use drugs, smoke, and have sex is after school and before parents get home from work, usually 3-6 PM. The average age of onset for many of these behaviors is 13-15. And the younger a kid starts these activities, the more likely they are to be problematic as opposed to just an occasional experiment.

Many kids will do fine at home, but many will get in trouble whether they seek it out or stumble into it. I have kids who struggle with impulse control issues so this is a huge concern to me. I'm OK with them being home alone occasionally.

:yeahthat: I could tell you tales about the things I was doing as a latch-key kid. Oral sex at 12, check; the choking game, check; sneaking alcohol at BFF's house, check; smoking, check; coming home with my brother to find the house broken into, check. I think being a latch-key kid is a lonely experience and my children will not ever have that option. (Btw, I grew up in a more rural area outside a tiny town of 5000 people or so. I had middle class, divorced parents and I have grown up to be a relatively normal, responsible and respectful adult. I don't believe I would have made some of my poor choices had I been properly supervised.)

[StantonHyde]

While middle schoolers don't need "care", they do need supervision. I would say the same for many HS students as well!! i knew so many kids in MS who did drugs/had sex parties between the hours of 3-5. And these were middle/upper middle class kids living in nice neighborhoods.

I was babysitting all day for a 5 and 4 yo plus their newborn brother when I was 13!! (once a week) I was very, very responsible. DD might be able to do that. Not so sure about DS, to tell the truth!