DD is refusing to do anything by herself, help!

[TwinFoxes]

DD has suddenly decided (after 1.5 years of being potty trained) she can't go to the bathroom without me there. She is "scared". Today I refused, so she peed her pants. She didn't do it angrily, in fact she cried. She also will not take anything to her room without me. The bedroom and bathroom are on the main level, I'm not asking her to go to the dungeon or anything. She also is afraid of the dark, even with the hall light on she doesn't like to go to bed (although goes to sleep pretty quickly and sleeps well). This has been going on for a few weeks, and is getting worse, not better. The one thing she still does by herself is play in our backyard. I'd really appreciate any advice or BTDT.

[arivecchi]

My 4 year old is like this right now. I am just hoping it's a phase. I go and turn on lights for him and leave or I ask DS1 to go with him. :D

[janine]

My 4.5 yr old too - I am thinking it is a developmental phase, increased awareness. Mine now doesn't want to be in her bed "alone", says she might not fall asleep. Also getting attached to things (even food!) and saying she misses them. I have reassured her and at times given in but overall stayed consistent..

[bisous]

I remember this age. This is when DS2 developed his sudden fear of the "the potty lobster". Ugh. It wasn't fun but it did eventually pass. We tried a few things. DS1 helped me out with being there. We tried a "potty lobster" exorcism (didn't work). I think I might have resorted to bribery if I didn't have to go to the bathroom with him. And finally it just stopped. Good luck!

[Momit]

DS is about the same age as your girls, OP, and he is definitely experiencing some of the same things. "My room is scary!" "What if a bad stranger comes in our house?" It came up pretty suddenly and I'm hoping it's just a phase. I don't know if he's truly scared or if he's just figured out that he gets a little extra attention when he says he's afraid.

[twowhat?]

Mine went through that phase at the same time. Fun when both needed to poop at the same time, which happened frequently:)

Fortunately it was just a phase. I don't know if it helped, but I did ask them what they were afraid of. They both said they were afraid of monsters. We made sure to have all lights on in the bathroom and they did their business with the door open, etc. I would've used monster spray if it came down to that but maybe you can ask her what specifically she is afraid of and then try to address it based on her answer. Good luck!

[mommylamb]

I think the response depends on whether you think she is truly afraid. DS1 went through a very short phase where he would say he was afraid to go to his room to get whatever it was he wanted, but in his case he wasn't really afraid. He was being lazy and wanted me to get it for him. So, I'd say, "gosh, you must be getting so afraid because you've watched too much Scooby Doo. I'm going to put it away until you're not afraid any longer." And that was a very short lived phase for him. The kid loves Scooby Doo.

If she's really afraid, I'd just go with her to the bathroom for a little while and hope she ages out of this phase quickly. Obviously, keep a watch to see if anxiety is becoming an out of control thing, but I'd humor her for the time being. But maybe I'm a softy.