If you work outside the home full-time, which childcare option do you prefer?

[sweetheart82]

I may be going back to work full-time in the next few weeks, after working part-time, and I'm considering extended daycare options. I have a school-aged child and preschooler. If you work full-time, I'm curious about what types of childcare options are working out well for you. Fortunately, dh can help with dropping off one of the kids at school. For the summer, I'm considering a center that offers full-time daycare up through school-aged (12 years) and there is a bus service to/from the school to the childcare center during the school year.

What is working out for you? Thanks!

[TxCat]

Younger ages than yours, but we went with a full-time nanny. This fall, we'll have a newborn and a preschooler. We went the nanny route because it was a better fit for our hours, especially not having to deal with pick-ups and drop-offs. It just makes the day smoother and easier for us. Also, she helps out around the house when time permits - laundry (mainly DD's, but folds ours too), chopping up veggies or meat that I'll cook for dinner, light cleaning in the kitchen, some grocery shopping, etc. All of that really helps keep us sane with two full-time work schedules.

[westwoodmom04]

Would you consider a p/t nanny who could drive and some combination of camps for the summer/school year? Once you get past two kids, a nanny could be cheapre and solve some of the logistics problems. I had a nanny when I WOHM primarily because I couldn't be home in time for child center pick up and neither could my husband. Most people I know who WOHM w/o a babysitter/nanny just use the on-site school aftercare which also offers camps in the summer, but don't also have younger kids to worry about.

[PunkyBoo]

We also got a nanny when I went back to work last year. I was a SAHM for over 8 years so I'd promised Punkin that I would not change his daily routines when I started working. My boys Are 5 years apart so the only time they will ever be in the same school is when Boo is in K and Punkin is in 5th grade but the schedules will be different. Both DH and I start work super early So our nanny arrives at 6am and gets the boys fed, dressed and off to their respective schools. Then she has several hours to go home and do her own thing "off the clock" and comes back to get them home from school and everything until DH or I get home. I love that she does light housework so she really alleviates a lot of the tasks I just don't have time to do. I love that my kids are in their own home and can spend time together even though they go to different schools. Boo can nap in his own bed. And usually my house is cleaner when I get home than it is when I left. Our nanny is getting a online degree do she loves having several hours in the middle of the day while my kids are at school to study or run errands or go to appointments (or take a nap since she is at my house so early in the morning).

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk 2

[westwoodmom04]

Now that I SAH, I have to admit that my nanny was much better at keeping my house neat than I am. Everything was always so organized.

[AnnieW625]

I have never not worked outside the home since I had kids, except for maternity leave of course, and even then I splurged and kept DD1 in daycare that summer that DD2 was born and when I was on a month of medical leave for baby 2.

DD1 went to an in home daycare center from almost 5 months old until she started kindergarten. DH and my DCP did drop off for preschool when she was 3 and 4 yrs. old. Her elementary school has after care and she is there from 3 to 5:30 (although I really try and be there no later than 5 pm). DCP picked up DD1 from preschool for two years. It was 2 or 3 day a week preschool from 9 am to 12 noon or 1 pm if DD1 stayed for lunch.

DD1 will go to summer camp this year. The before/after care portion of the camp is $50 per week (7-9 am, and 3 or 4 to 6pm) at most of the camps we have looked at.

DD2 until the end of next week will be at the same daycare that DD1 went to and has been there since she was 3 months old. Starting on May 6th she will go to another in home daycare center as my current DCP is closing up shop. I anticipate that when she starts pre k in 2014 at DD1's school either DH or myself will drop her off and she'll go to half day preschool 5 days a week, and will either go to the school's after care or will go to the same in home center because it is a 5 minute walk from the school. My preference if funds allow would be for her to go to the in home center. Next year is the first year of the pre k program at DD1's school so some things need to be ironed out as well.

DD2 will go to a separate summer camp program as well once she is 6. If our school ends up doing a summer program in the future then both kids will go there.

I have not considered having a nanny because I am just soo used to having the kids classes be after work or on Saturday mornings. I could see getting a nanny if I had been a SAHM and not wanting to mess with my kids schedule like PunkyBoo explained.

In an ideal world I would love to eventually work part time or reduced hours from 6:30 to 2 pm so I can pick up and participate in after school activities once my kids have them or need me to pick them up from school by 3 pm.

Our current sitter doesn't have back up care to provide if either she or her assistant is sick, although this hasn't been an issue although she does write in that she gets 5 sick days per year for emergencies.

[BabbyO]

Well, my boys are 3.5 yo and 18 mo or so. We've had 2 different FT sitters (watched the boys in their own homes) and were PT with our first sitter and a Center for about 8 mo last year. Our sitter was injured and could only watch them 2 days per week (3 days at Center) then we upped to 3 days with sitter (2 days at center). Then she let us know it was just too much and she needed to step back. So they were actually at the center FT for about a month.

For my kids a private sitter has worked well most of the time, but if we had started at a center, it probably would have been fine (Stachio had some difficulty and would complain about the center - but I truly believe he just missed his sitter who was like family to him).

Anyway for our family the pros and cons work this way:
Sitter Pros
-More personal - DS1 is more receptive to this type of care
-A bit more flexible on time if we have a long day
-Lower cost
-We don't pay the sitter when we are on vacation or when she is on vacation. (We do pay for holidays and sick days if it is fewer than 2 in a row). Generally no double paying for daycare.
-still can use Dependent care FSA
-Sitter does NOT call us to pick up the kids for every sniffle and fever - within reason
-Our current sitter is WAY more convenient to get to and she brings the kids home for us. Our old sitter sometimes did pick up or drop off....but was further away than current sitter or center.

Sitter cons:
-If sitter or sitter's kid(s) are sick we have to find an alternative on short notice (this was rare initially with old sitter and has only happened 1x with new sitter. But we had a year or so with the old sitter where there was lots of illness, etc)
-We have to find alternative care if sitter goes on vacation or needs days off

Center Pros:
-We don't have to find care on short notice if a teacher is sick
-there is a Pre-K program built right in (Our current sitter actually does a lot of Pre-K activities/learning with DS1)
-Very convenient - location
-Once kiddos are in school there is transportation to/from local schools
-Kids are outside every day unless raining or below certain temp
-Have provided last minute care when sitter couldn't


Center cons
-More expensive
-DS1 is less receptive
-have to pay for vacations
-WAY more illness in our house
-Get called home to pick up sick kiddos more often
-hard open/close times with charges per minute if late (this could get crazy for me as I have 1hr or longer commute and work the kind of job where you stay until the work is done). On the plus side...it forced me to have a hard stop time at work.

I'm sure there are other things I haven't thought of...

[Gena]

DS went to a daycare center as an infant and toddler. Then I was a SAHM during his preschool years and DH was a SAHD when DS was in Kindergarten. DH and I have both WOH FT since DS was in 1st grade.

In 1st grade, DS went to a daycare center for afterschool care. The center has a bus that would pick him up from school. They also provided care on "no school" days, such as breaks, snow days, in service days, and during the summer. It was very convenient and for the most part we were happy with the program.

At the beginning of 2nd grade, the center decided they could no longer accommodate DS's special needs and expelled him. (Long, complicated mess.) After that we put DS in the afterschool care program provided by the school. This has worked very well for him. The afterschool staff is committed to making the program work for DS and are able to share information with his teacher and aides. The only downside is that there is no Childcare on "no school" days, so DH and I end up using our vacation days to cover those.

Last summer, DS attended a special needs Childcare at a local therapy/rehabilitation center. He will go there again this summer.

[sweetheart82]

Thank you all for sharing what your preferred childcare options are. Having a nanny, especially to help with after school activities is ideal, except I haven't met any one yet who I can entrust as a nanny. One of my friends is letting go of her nanny in the fall, and she is a possible option. For those of you who mentioned having a nanny, how did you connect with one? We are relatively new to the area and don't even have a regular babysitter yet. My preschooler's current school may not have the ability to take care of her for more than the three days that she is currently enrolled for, due to her class being filled to max capacity on the other two days. I'm trying to figure out whether I should just enroll her elsewhere that would be reliable for all 5days. Currently, my kids are on the wait-list for the center nearby, and the director said that there is a good chance they will get off the list.

I'm open to hear additional suggestions - thanks!

[Philly Mom]

In your shoes, i would put your preschooler in full time school at least until 3 pm but for ease I would find a place that caters to working parents because they tend to rarely close. I would then either put your other child in after school care or find a sitter on sittercity for after school. I prefer full time school over a nanny though so long as you can make pick ups. I find daycare reliable, fun, takes care of preschool, and I prefer having more than one person watching my kid. I love DD's school. It is NAECY certified and a private school. The teachers are great. The kids play and learn and spend lots of time outside. Summer is camp and is just the best.

[twowhat?]

It's a highly personal decision but we went with a center after going through a couple of (unsuccessful) nannies. I like that the center is almost always open, with the exception of major holidays, and I never have to worry about providers getting sick because they are covered. They are even open on government holidays that the public schools typically get off, in large part because I think they cater to a lot of families with both parents who WOHM FT.

One thing that I thought would be a con (having to drive to drop them off, etc) actually ended up being a pro. Our kids were quickly getting bored at our house and I think it actually helps for them to get that change of environment. AND our house stays cleaner:) I would never have felt completely comfortable with a nanny driving the kids to different places for entertainment.

The biggest con is illnesses. But that's something every kid will have to deal with. You either go through it in daycare, or when you start school. I'm glad we got the bulk of it over with now so we don't have to deal with absences when absences are counted. And yes, less individual attention which for some kids could be a big deal. But I try to make up for that during the time that we have with the kids in the evenings/on weekends.

Anyway all that's to say that you will know best what you think will work for your family! Good luck on the decision:) And remember that you can always re-evaluate if your first choice doesn't work out.

[BabyBearsMom]

DD1 is in a home daycare and DD2 is in an all day preschool with before and after care. DD2 will be moving to DD1's school over the summer. I can't wait to have them both in one place. Two drop offs and pick ups is killer

[westwoodmom04]

I think how much of a struggle the dropoff/pickup is and whether you ever have bad weather are big considerations. If you can work with a daycare center's hours, you never have to worry about your nanny getting sick. If you have a reliable nanny, you never need to worry about snow days, or your kid getting sick. Daycare was never an option for me, as I mentioned before, because neither of us could pick up on time. Also, it would have meant our older daughter couldn't do the typical sports team because no one would have been available to take her to weekday practices (my nanny took her, I would met her there and took her home).

As far as hiring a nanny, I think I found mine on care.com or craigslist. I interviewed maybe 10 people who were a mix of people I found online, or were referred by various friends or acquaintances. Four people made it beyond that stage, and one dropped out because she found a great position with a shorter commute. I then checked each and every reference of the remaining three, and basically went with my gut. I required a criminal background check and a review of her driving record (she requested from DMV for me) before officially hiring the woman I chose. She was a great nanny.

[abh5e8]

dh and I work different days/times, so most weeks we just use our regular babysitter 8-10 hours (split over 2 afternoons). this is a good fit for us, because dh works nights RFSS and I work days MTWRF. i really like that the dc are in their own home and with a parent most of the time. downside is dh and I don't has as much time off together and we end up doing a lot more "solo parenting." oh, and we save lots of money, over having all 3 dc in full time daycare 50 hours per week. i know it sounds like a crazy schedule...and its probably not an option for most families, but it works well for us :)

[sste]

We have done a mix of nanny and part day preschool (saving money is not a pro of this option!). For under 2.5-3 y/o, I have a strong personal preference for nanny care -- as close to 1:1 ratio as I can get. Past that, my kids have really needed pre-school and classes and activities. They would have done fine at a good center at that point -- and frankly if I had to choose nanny with no preschool versus full day center, full day center would have been a better fit for them at those ages. But they are both hardcore nappers and I think it has been physically easier on them to have them picked up from preschool, snack or lunch at home, and then nap. Also, they spend alot of time with each other that way.

I think center care is great if you have a very high quality center near you and if you and your spouse can split drop-off/pick up. In my case both drop and pick up would have been on me and I found it too much with working part-time. Also we needed more household support such as straightening up, laundry, etc.

I basically consider my childcare my luxury vehicle. :)

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I like that the center is almost always open, with the exception of major holidays, and I never have to worry about providers getting sick because they are covered. They are even open on government holidays that the public schools typically get off, in large part because I think they cater to a lot of families with both parents who WOHM FT.

One thing that I thought would be a con (having to drive to drop them off, etc) actually ended up being a pro. Our kids were quickly getting bored at our house and I think it actually helps for them to get that change of environment. AND our house stays cleaner:) I would never have felt completely comfortable with a nanny driving the kids to different places for entertainment.

The biggest con is illnesses. But that's something every kid will have to deal with. You either go through it in daycare, or when you start school. I'm glad we got the bulk of it over with now so we don't have to deal with absences when absences are counted.
:yeahthat: i agree with every word of this esp the bolded. I just started working FT about 5 months ago, and i am very happy with the kids daycare center (a Goddard school). DH works from home now so he usually does daycare and dropoff, which is great bc it's only 5 minutes away. i would say the ONE and only downside to daycare is the sicknesses..kids started daycare the week after Thanksgiving and they got sick so often the first few months (as did I). It was bad! Lots of ear infections and trips to the dr. But then again, kids got sick a decent amount too in the wintertime when I SAH and went to playdates a lot. So it's not like they won't get sick at all if they don't go to daycare. I would say they probably got sick twice as much as they did the year before when I was SAHM. That doesn't sound like much more but you really feel the "burn" of a sick kid much more when you are juggling taking sick days and making up work at nights/ and on weekends.

we didn't do the nanny route mainly because of the reliability issue...also since my kids are shy i wanted them to be in a school-type setting and work on their social skills. I know many do school part time and nanny part-time which i have thought about, since that would mean we didn't have to worry about picking kids up by a certain time. but I just don't feel comfortable with someone else driving my kids and picking them up from school. Around here people are pretty bad with carseats (i mean BAD) and I just couldn't trust them to put them in properly.

[egoldber]

I started working FT when younger DD was 2 (almost 3) and older DD almost 8.

For about a year we did fulltime daycare for younger DD and beofre/after care for older DD at her school. Then we had the option of having older DD bussed for after care to where younger DD was in full time care.

This worked VERY well for us. I enjoy all the pros that ms pacman and twowhat mentioned. In addition, I HATE HATE HATE hiring, firing, and dealing with performance issues. I like that at the child care, if I have an issue with the provider I can approach someone else and have them act as the middle person. Also, if there is an issue in one room, you can usually switch to another room without having to change centers.

We did find a place where I am completely comfortable and in sync with the philosophies on child care and they have completely developmentally appropriate expectations. I have used a home daycare as back up occasionally and personally I would be much less comfortable with that option. Our center was NAEYC certified as well.

DH and I do split drop off and pick up duties. This has been an excellent thing for DH since he went from barely being able to make sure the kids were dressed to being completely and fully competent at their morning routine and care. This has been a huge plus in his relationship with the kids and with me. ;)

[klwa]

I may be going back to work full-time in the next few weeks, after working part-time, and I'm considering extended daycare options. I have a school-aged child and preschooler. If you work full-time, I'm curious about what types of childcare options are working out well for you. Fortunately, dh can help with dropping off one of the kids at school. For the summer, I'm considering a center that offers full-time daycare up through school-aged (12 years) and there is a bus service to/from the school to the childcare center during the school year.

What is working out for you? Thanks!

Our daycare offers full time summer & breaks for school-aged kids through fifth grade, as well as before & after school care, with the school bus picking them up & dropping them off. Works great for us as we only have one spot for pick up/drop off. (DH & I split times, with him dropping off & me picking up due to our schedules.)

[hillview]

before full time school a nanny. Now the kids do late care and I have my parents who help out. Honestly with our scheduled if my parents were not around I'd need a nanny.

[ladysoapmaker]

I've done daycare centers, in-home private sitters & nanny route.

They all have their pros & cons.

When DH finally finds a job we'll go back with our in-home/nanny again. For us it's the most flexible with our schedules and if we are late one of the boys can get DD#2.

Currently we do use the school's after care program for DD#1.

Jen

[mom3boys]

I am interviewing now for full time jobs, for the past few months I have been working part time and we've relied on school/preschool centers (DS3's school takes kids at 18 mos of age, so he goes 8:30 to 3:30 3 days a week with DS2, while I work, DS1 is in first grade and is gone from 8:15-3:10). We previously had a nanny (and I worked longer hours). The toughest thing about relying on school has been so many closures--we had a week of in Feb, a week in Apr, several holidays, a couple of delayed openings/early closures due to weather, and of course if the kids are sick they have to stay home with me.

We previously had a nanny. We lived in an urban area and she didn't drive-she walked to pick up kids from previous schools, take to activities, etc, or sometimes her husband would drive her. We were a little limited on activities (and preschool choice) do to this arrangement. However, on the positive side if a kid was sick or there was a random school delay or close, she was able to watch the kid.

When I start back to work the plan will likely be full-time nanny in the summer. With 3 kids this seems to be the cheapest option, a lot of the camps have dropoffs that would make me late for work and most camps don't take kids as young as DS3 (who will be 2 in July). We will need to likely get someone who can drive so I can sign up the kids for a few activities so they aren't bored, although we are <1 mile from an area with a playground and where they could have swimming lessons, so that's an option.

In the fall DS1 will be in 2nd grade, DS2 in AM K, and I want to keep DS3 at his school which we really like. So I'm hoping I can find someone who will work 11:15-6:15, pick up DS2 at 11:20 (yep it ends that early), pick up DS3 at 12:30 after 1/2 day school, and then meet DS1 at the bus at 3:10, and help with afternoon activities. It is still pretty expensive but less than full-time nanny +3 mornings or whatever of school for DS3. And I know he is only 2 and doesn't really need to got to school, but he likes it and it is helping all of use meet people in the area.

We got our previous nanny via a neighbor who knew of her--she had worked for another family that had recently moved out of the area.

ETA: The option I mention means I would do the dropoffs, so the only concern there is whether I am still able to get to work on time with those dropoffs (8 am for DS3, 8:10 for older boys).

[Simon]

I prefer larger centers/private preschools for our older kids. Ds1 stays for after care at his elementary school and our 2nd choice was a center that buses to/from for before and after care. He likes being with other kids his own age and having that extended free time. Our preschooler also does an extended day at his school. It works best for us having him in a comfortable environment and with fewer disruptions/adults during his day. We had considered a nanny (F/T for the baby, then doing 1/2 day and after school for our older kids). We decided against that with major concerns for same age playmates and possibility of needing back up care for when nanny was sick.

[arivecchi]

We had a nanny until DS started kindy. Now we do daycare 5 days a week for DS2 and aftercare for DS1. We loved our nanny but I much prefer our current arrangement for my kids' ages.

[Kindra178]

We do a nanny plus part time preschool plus classes, like swim, TKD, gymnastics and sports. DS1 is in elementary school, so our sitter picks him up three days a week and I pick him up the other two. There are positive and negatives to our way of doing things. The huge con is cost and it didn't help that we chose montessori school as our preschool of choice. Our nanny is helpful in terms of managing activities; that's a huge benefit to our arrangement. She also helps with our considerable laundry. I don't foresee changing this childcare plan in the near future. Our afterschool program is pretty bad and my twins won't start public school until 2014.

[rachelh]

Younger ages than yours, but we went with a full-time nanny. This fall, we'll have a newborn and a preschooler. We went the nanny route because it was a better fit for our hours, especially not having to deal with pick-ups and drop-offs. It just makes the day smoother and easier for us. Also, she helps out around the house when time permits - laundry (mainly DD's, but folds ours too), chopping up veggies or meat that I'll cook for dinner, light cleaning in the kitchen, some grocery shopping, etc. All of that really helps keep us sane with two full-time work schedules.

:yeahthat:
This is what saves my sanity.

[janine]

We had a nanny until DS started kindy. Now we do daycare 5 days a week for DS2 and aftercare for DS1. We loved our nanny but I much prefer our current arrangement for my kids' ages.

Was it an adjustment for DS2 (nanny at home and then dc full time)?

I struggle with this - I've been lucky in that my mother has watched my kids up till now. I prefer the idea of daycare (regulated, cameras, multiple providers), but then drop off / pick ups is added stress.

Nannies make most sense with multiple kids and multiple drop off/pick ups with kids in different spots and extra curriculars, but I have a trust issue with nannies.

[westwoodmom04]

Was it an adjustment for DS2 (nanny at home and then dc full time)?

I struggle with this - I've been lucky in that my mother has watched my kids up till now. I prefer the idea of daycare (regulated, cameras, multiple providers), but then drop off / pick ups is added stress.

Nannies make most sense with multiple kids and multiple drop off/pick ups with kids in different spots and extra curriculars, but I have a trust issue with nannies.

There is definitely not an oversupply of terrific nannies out there; but most of my friends who devoted time to thorough search wound up with great people, as did I. It really isn't that hard to separate the bad nannies from the good ones, just a little time consuming.

[egoldber]

The other thing I like is that our child care/after care place has a TON of activities for the kids: dance, swimming, acting, music lessons, etc. So they do everything (except Girl Scouts) there which saves us a lot of running around to various activities time.


The toughest thing about relying on school has been so many closures

Our location provides coverage for all of these days. This is one reason I prefer not to use the school based care.

[Simon]

I do spend more time on drop-off/pick-up but the kids love being at their schools so its not an emotional hassle, at least for us. Most days they willingly leave me and head into play. We also have great access to lots of high quality baby-sitters since most of the day care staff also do evening/weekend care.

Another benefit is that since they are out of the house M-F, on the weekends their own toys are fresh and appealing so they aren't in a rush to get out and do things.

We have had mixed experiences with nannies (used only short term when Ds1 was younger). One was *amazing* and I would have easily kept longer but a second was only competent and I was frankly glad to be done with her and I would never have considered using her long-term. Although I trusted her with my child, she just wasn't great.

[mommylamb]

I've been very pleased overall with our childcare situation. I WOH FT and DH WAH 3-4 days a week and WOH 1-2 days a week.

DS1 started off in a large center when he was 6 months old. When he was about 10 months old the administration at the center changed and there was a big turn over with the teachers and things went way down hill. We ended up leaving that center when hew as 19 months old, at which point we started him at a home daycare. I love the home daycare provider (DS2 is currently with her) like she's family. He stayed there until he was 4, at which point he went to pre-K at a private preschool. He is currently in public K, but does before and after care at the private preschool where he did pre-K.

DS2 has been with our home daycare provider since he was 3 months old. I love it there. But we will be moving DS2 to the preschool where DS1 did pre-K in September. The main reason for doing this is that we will have the same drop off/pick up for both kids since DS1 does after care there. Also, this preschool has a long waiting list, and we have a slot now. I would want him there anyway by the time he is 3, so we need to take this opportunity now, though I am so sad to be leaving our DCP.

For us, a nanny is just too expensive and I don't want to deal with the tax issue. I also like that my children have been with other kids from an early age. I know that everyone says it doesn't matter when they're babies and that they don't actually play with each other until they're older, but that is not my experience at all. My kids were very engaged with the other kids at the centers that they've been at. My oldest is very independent and easy going. He makes friends really easily and is super flexible. While he loves DH and me, he has never had separation anxiety, social anxieties, and he's very outgoing in general. I don't know if that's just his personality, but I think being in daycare from an early age and being with other kids helped that.

[Ms B]

I started BTW on a part time basis 3 weeks after The Biscuit was born. We used a PT nanny in our house for 4 to 6 hours three days a week until The Biscuit started full day day care at 12 weeks.

FWIW, I visited a LOT of child care centers. It was very clear to me that some catered to working parents and some did not.

We intentionally chose a center that had broad and flexible hours (open 6:30 a.m. to 6:30 pm; parent can use any ten hours during that day, so drop off and pick up can be flexible) and that is open every weekday except for the major legal holidays and two other days per year (both right before holiday weekends). The center also is open more or less regardless of weather (a number of families are in health care and have to work even if a lot of things shut down) -- public schools closed multiple times this year, but the center never did (although it did close once midday due to a water main break, which was a giant pain).

However, in order to get a center with those features, we have to pay more than most centers in town and the location is less than convenient (on the way to DH's office, but with a diversion, but past my office, requiring me to go out of the way to pick up or drop off). And even then, it is not perfect -- this year they closed extra days around the winter holidays and gave us very little notice, which was a problem.

I note that we did seriously look into both the nanny and the au pair options. Au pair was not a viable option for us as we need more than 45 hours per week with our commutes and sometimes varying schedules. Having a nanny was intriguing, but ultimately significantly more expensive than daycare (by about 20% PLUS payroll taxes and benefits and even factoring in our current occasional needs for sitter coverage for closure days or necessary pickups) and problemmatic in terms of dates when the nanny would want/need vacation or sick time because DH and I sometimes both have scheduling issues that prohibit us from staying home on short notice. However, if we had another child, the nanny option would be at least financially more viable relative to the cost to have a second DC in daycare.

[AnnieW625]

For us, a nanny is just too expensive and I don't want to deal with the tax issue. I also like that my children have been with other kids from an early age. I know that everyone says it doesn't matter when they're babies and that they don't actually play with each other until they're older, but that is not my experience at all. My kids were very engaged with the other kids at the centers that they've been at. My oldest is very independent and easy going. He makes friends really easily and is super flexible. While he loves DH and me, he has never had separation anxiety, social anxieties, and he's very outgoing in general. I don't know if that's just his personality, but I think being in daycare from an early age and being with other kids helped that.

This is us as well, except we have girls. I never went to daycare as a kid so I wanted the most nuturing place for my kids that I could find that felt like home. I could have saved a few hundred a month when I had DD1 in preschool and the in home center by sending her to an all day preschool but I loved the environment of the in home care.

[lovin2shop]

We have a nanny, but honestly, my older DS really benefitted a lot from going to an in home daycare. This wasn't possible for DS#2, and the nanny is HUGE benefit for the whole family, but specifically for DS#2, I think the in home daycare would have been great for him.

ETA: If you can find the right in home provider, I think it is a perfect mix of a loving home environment with the benefit of socialization and bonding with other kids.

[squimp]

I work near full-time and I tend to rely on our school's aftercare but also afterschool activities and friend playdates work in there as well, but I have one child. It depends on the quality of the aftercare, your kids' temperaments (needing a break from people after school) and how important afterschool activities are, particularly for your older child.

I think having a babysitter would work well in that situation. I think with two, it makes a lot more sense to have a sitter, especially with kids who are at such different stages. Your older may have afterschool activities, and they might miss out on those in aftercare, but would get to do them if they had a sitter who could drive them. It might also minimize your afterschool driving and the separate pickups/coordination.

[AnnieW625]

....... I think with two, it makes a lot more sense to have a sitter, especially with kids who are at such different stages. Your older may have afterschool activities, and they might miss out on those in aftercare, but would get to do them if they had a sitter who could drive them. It might also minimize your afterschool driving and the separate pickups/coordination.

See I don't see it that way at all. My girls are 4 yrs. apart and having them in daycare and potentially both of them in after care in 2014 will be fine. I don't see it being much of an issue until DD1 decides to do something competive, which she hasn't yet. The worst year for us financially was when I had DD1 and DD2 in the same in home daycare as they are 4 yrs. apart I paid about $1700 a month for daycare, plus DD1's preschool tuition. It was great having them in the same place and I paid a bit more for that convenience because my DCP would take and pick up DD1 from preschool. It was priceless. I think people get overly picky about activities having to be after school because that is just how they are scheduled. Having classes on weekends or early weeknights in the summer has not been a huge hassle for us because it is all we have ever known.

IMHO it also saves me from having tired and over scheduled kids. My DD1 does Daisy Scouts once a month (will start Brownies at the end of summer) at school after school, and we try to have her in one activity during the non summer season. Summer is reserved for summer day camp, and swim lesson. We might start her in two day a week swimming though, just not sure when, probably in September. DD2 does kinder gym a local gym (not My Gym, Little Gym, etc.) once a week on Saturday AM at 9 am. DD1 might do church chior at 8 am on Saturdays in the fall and will do basketball from Jan-March, which is also on Sat AM. I don't get why people book their kids full of lots of activities right after school gets out and they need some down time to rest or relax. I do wish there were more weekend activities, but that would probably not set well with the SAH crowd who want to spend all weekend doing family related things so parks n rec. and other groups still set most classes at 4 pm on a weekday:shake:.

[BayGirl2]

We have our kids at a daycare center and that is my strong preference. I considered a nanny, or a nanny-share, which is popular in this area. We even talked to another family about a share. But for several reasons I was uncomfortable with it - having someone else in our house all the time, the un-capped nature of the costs (they paid by the hour) made it way more $$ when you added in commute times, even split between two families. And generally having one person alone with my kid all day didn't feel like there was any fail-safe. It turned out I started working from home mostly, which also means having the kids away makes my day more productive.

I ended up visiting several in home day cares, large and small. I wasn't comfortable with any that were convenient to us. Again, it was trusting one individual who maybe had a young helper, and a group of kids of different ages. Most seemed competent but I didn't feel like my baby/toddler would get what they needed out of it.

We ended up getting into the large center closest to our home. On my first visit it seemed big and the babies made me sad - not sure why that was. But once I actually HAD a baby, visited it, started going there I found the teachers were very loving and there was nothing institutional about it at all. We've been there almost 4 years now and I still love it. They have a structured, age appropriate curriculum and are always adding new things for the kids. Its also a part of my community. I don't regret for a second having my kids there because I know their needs are met.

In retrospect I can see having a nanny for the baby stage, that would have been convenient. But I really prefer the socialization of daycare after 1 year. I see a big difference in the kids who come into daycare at 2 or 3 after being home and I am glad we went with a center from the start. We have considered an Au Pair when the kids are older. It would help with school/activity coordination and I think they would benefit from the international exposure at that point.

[mjs64]

DS is at a large daycare center tied to the university I work at. It's 5 minutes away, which makes a huge difference in our lives--it's not stressful to drop off/pick up. He's there from 8:30 to 5 most days. He loves it and so do we.

Eta: Baygirl's comments really resonate with my experience. I was so nervous about the center at first (and looked at several, including at home daycares) but this option is a great fit for us. DS has learned so much at "school"!

[sweetheart82]

Hi again,

Just wanted to express my thanks to everyone for sharing your experiences and childcare preferences. Thank you! I'm still in the process of figuring out my options, and I've found your advice helpful.

[TxCat]

Sorry, I missed replying earlier due to travel!

If you are looking at finding a sitter or nanny (or aftercare/daycare option) word of mouth, even in a new town, is a great way to start. Any time you see people with kids - out at the park, in the store, down your street, at work, at your husband's work, start asking. We found our nanny via word of mouth from other families we knew of with nannies. For our date night babysitter, I've used sittercity with good success. If there are any colleges local to you, they usually have online job posting boards that you can place an ad on as well.

Daycare/aftercare and sitters/nannies both have their own pros and cons. I have to work on a lot of pseudo-holidays here in Texas (Good Friday, MLK day, President's day, etc.) when many day cares are closed. That, along with more flexible hours, and the ability to take care of a sick child, are all reasons that we chose a nanny over day care. Our nanny has been incredibly professional and never called in sick for herself and has taken a personal day to attend a funeral once in 2 years. So, we've been very lucky. Whatever option you choose, you do have to have a plan for back-up options - what do you do if the kids are too sick to go to daycare? What if your sitter is sick? What if you and your DH are running late at the end of the day? The more you think about plans B, C, and D, the better prepared you will feel, regardless of what option you choose. Good luck!

[arivecchi]

Was it an adjustment for DS2 (nanny at home and then dc full time)?

I struggle with this - I've been lucky in that my mother has watched my kids up till now. I prefer the idea of daycare (regulated, cameras, multiple providers), but then drop off / pick ups is added stress.

Nannies make most sense with multiple kids and multiple drop off/pick ups with kids in different spots and extra curriculars, but I have a trust issue with nannies. Not really. They miss her at times but they were both beyond ready to be around kids for longer periods of time. They have made so many friends that it's been great since we are new to the area. Nannies are awesome for younger kids, but I feel that kids over 3 benefit from the socialization aspect of pre-school/daycare. DH and I split drop-off and pick-up, so it's not too bad.

[squimp]

See I don't see it that way at all. My girls are 4 yrs. apart and having them in daycare and potentially both of them in after care in 2014 will be fine.

Most of my friends who have kids of multiple ages and WOHM FT don't use the school aftercare because it's more complicated and makes their lives less stressful - it allows them to have playdates after school and to make it to all their activities. My 9-yr-old isn't happy if she has to go to aftercare every day. She survives but it is not ideal. There aren't a lot of options here for weekend only activities here though. So I think it definitely depends on your kid and the quality of the care.

[westwoodmom04]

Not really. They miss her at times but they were both beyond ready to be around kids for longer periods of time. They have made so many friends that it's been great since we are new to the area. Nannies are awesome for younger kids, but I feel that kids over 3 benefit from the socialization aspect of pre-school/daycare. DH and I split drop-off and pick-up, so it's not too bad.

I agree that kids need socialization but this can also be achieved by preschool and a nanny which is what we did. Really, I think its more a question of what your and your dh's schedule are and what the local options are. For instance, in our area, there are no daycare centers that take kids after age 5. After that age, the only formal "center-based" care is the aftercare offered by the school (which all the local public and private schools offer), which follows the school holiday and inclement weather schedule.

[AnnieW625]

Most of my friends who have kids of multiple ages and WOHM FT don't use the school aftercare because it's more complicated and makes their lives less stressful - it allows them to have playdates after school and to make it to all their activities. My 9-yr-old isn't happy if she has to go to aftercare every day. She survives but it is not ideal. There aren't a lot of options here for weekend only activities here though. So I think it definitely depends on your kid and the quality of the care.

We have been spoiled, ours has been at my DD1's school and it is wonderful, there aren't many older than 10 yr. old kids who go, but it is nice that they do go. Had my DD1 gone to public school it most likely would have been at the YMCA or at the charter school, free and on campus, but we didn't get that lucky so I guess I am happy with what we do have.

[egoldber]

I think the availablility of quality after care is regional. There are many community and rec centers (JCCs, YMCAs, local city rec centers) that do after care where we are. The trick is finding a place with affordable transportation. Also many home based child care providers offer this service in the afternoons. The child rides a regular school bus to the caregiver's home.

We looked at the nanny/preschool combo for younger DD but that was a lot of $$$. I think for many families that's not a cost effective option.


Most of my friends who have kids of multiple ages and WOHM FT don't use the school aftercare because it's more complicated and makes their lives less stressful

Interesting. Almost every 2 parent working family I know uses either the school based before/after care or an off-site center of some sort. I think it helps that the school based care here is very affordable and convenient in it's hours. They also open for 2 hour delays in the winter (which we have more of than actual snow days) and are open on teacher work days, spring break and winter break.

But all child care options have their pros and cons.

[mommylamb]

Interesting. Almost every 2 parent working family I know uses either the school based before/after care or an off-site center of some sort. I think it helps that the school based care here is very affordable and convenient in it's hours. They also open for 2 hour delays in the winter (which we have more of than actual snow days) and are open on teacher work days, spring break and winter break.

But all child care options have their pros and cons.

:yeahthat: I live in the same area as egoldber, and most people I know who have school aged kids and WOH use aftercare either at the school or another private center. The school-based aftercare has various activities that you can sign up for at a small extra cost, so it's not just babysitting at the school. We're on the waiting list for it now (DS1 goes to a private school for aftercare at the moment which is $$$ and doesn't offer as many fun activities). The aftercare is also open for extended hours on half days and is open during school vacations. I wish I had signed him up for it sooner.