Want to kill DH, can't deal with the stress.

[gatorsmom]

It's time to hide in the laundry room again. :(

DH manufactures chemicals for a living. And in the past my DH has tested the heat resistance of some of these (nonflammable) chemicals in or own oven. I wasn't thrilled with that but it never hurt anything. But I warned him 3 weeks ago when he asked me to put 2 boards with chemicals painted on them in the dishwasher that I wasn't going to do it. I knew it would make a mess since our brand new dishwasher has a heat element in the bottom. He told me over and over it wouldn't make a mess. I didn't believe him so I didn't do it.

So you can imagine the level of my anger yesterday when I start unloading the kids' sippy cups and some of my dishes and they all have tiny black spots on them the size of grains of sand. I knew immediately what it was. DH washed those two boards when I wasn't home. :angry-smiley-005:

Not only did it coat everything in the washer so bad I cant remove it, but it coated the racks of the dishwasher too. He spent hours trying to scrub it off last night. Of course it didn't come off- there is no way he could remove every it of it. But the part that made me say swear words I'd vow not to say is that HE WAS PUTTING THE KIDS SIPPIES STRAIGHT FROM THE DW TO THE CUPBOARD! He told me the chemicals were water soluble and would come off after a few more times going through the dishwasher! :32:

Somebody tell me why I bother buying organic foods? Why I bother to wash the produce we eat? What is the point when my DH is willing to let our kids eat off plates, cups and utensils that are coated in chemicals? I was so mad that I told him if he didn't replace that dishwasher I would wait until he was out of town and buy the most expensive dishwasher I could find. And then I kicked it and put a dent in it so he couldn't sell it to some unsuspecting family. He still swears that the stuff that is peppered all over inside it is harmless. I yelled at him that an MSDS sheet does NOT show that this stuff is safe to ingest. And it certainly doesn't show the effects of ingesting it 20 years from now. I swear to God this man is the smartest one I know but sometimes he's as stupid as a bag of rocks.

And then just as this feud is going on the movers come with the rest of our stuff that didn't get moved in before. We have so much stuff I'm embarrassed. I don't even know what it all is. Mostly left-over baby stuff from having the twins, I guess. And because I know the movers (they work for my brother), they feel its ok to tease me about all the stuff they are moving for us. Ugh. Not today, guys, just not today.

On top of all of this I forget about Greenbean's OT appointment. At least I didn't forget about Cha Cha's orthodontic appointment this morning.

I rarely feel this way but I would kill for a big frosty margarita, heavy on the tequila. :help:

[hellokitty]

OMG, I'd have a heart attack if my dh was doing science experiments using our household appliances that are used for FOOD and FOOD UTENSILS! I already get grossed out just hearing about ppl who wash their shoes in the dishwasher.

[Beckylove]

I rarely think this but you are 100% right and he is 100% wrong. He owes you a massive apology, a new dishwasher and new dishes. But more than anything he better swear this will never happen again and mean it!

[123LuckyMom]

Just do it-- not the killing, the dishwasher buying. Then fit your oven, dishwasher, and microwave with padlocks to which you only have the key!

The chemical coating on all your dishes is horrifying, but my concern would be that he did this behind your back after you had told him not to. That's a major violation of trust, and in my home would lead to an immediate ban on all work experiments in the house (or garage, or on the lawn...)

Naughty DH, and not in a good way! ;)

[ellies mom]

Wow!!

I would be beyond angry. Way, way beyond angry. I used to work in the semiconductor industry with all sorts of chemicals. Our ovens in the fab are vented to an air handler. Your oven isn't. You don't test the heat resistance of chemicals at home with your wife and children around. You test it in the oven at work with the proper venting. And if you really think you need to test a board in a dishwasher, go for it. In the dishwasher at work.

I can't even believe he thought that was OK.

[arivecchi]

All I can say is WTF?

How can any reasonable person think that is ok?

I'd be ordering a new dishwasher and dishes right about now. You deserve quite a few margaritas AFAIAC.

[mommylamb]

He doesn't have someplace else to do those kinds of tests??? That seems really strange. I would not use that dishwasher again, and I would be furious with DH for essentially going behind your back to do this since it's clear he knew how your felt about it. Really just bizarre.

[egoldber]

I would be beyond angry. Way, way beyond angry. I used to work in the semiconductor industry with all sorts of chemicals. Our ovens in the fab are vented to an air handler. Your oven isn't. You don't test the heat resistance of chemicals at home with your wife and children around. You test it in the oven at work with the proper venting. And if you really think you need to test a board in a dishwasher, go for it. In the dishwasher at work.

:yeahthat:

OK, seriously, I am generally pretty laid back, but I would be so mad I don't know if I could even speak to him.

[TwinFoxes]

Well, I think you win the award for most justifiable bitch. Un-frickin-believable! I mean, REALLY, putting the dishes back in the cupboard???

[elektra]

That is a serious knuckleheaded move on his part.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Our ovens in the fab are vented to an air handler. Your oven isn't. You don't test the heat resistance of chemicals at home with your wife and children around. You test it in the oven at work with the proper venting.
:yeahthat:

you have every right to be pissed.

[crl]

I would be really really angry too.

Catherine

[trcy]

He doesn't have someplace else to do those kinds of tests??? That seems really strange. That is what I was thinking. Shouldn't his work supply the ovens, dishwashers, ect. I am sorry op. I would be beyond pissed.

[gatorsmom]

That is what I was thinking. Shouldn't his work supply the ovens, dishwashers, ect. I am sorry op. I would be beyond pissed.

We own the company. Until now, he hasn't needed a dishwasher. I think his plan was if this chemical survived the dishwasher process intact, he wouldn't need to buy one for the company. If it didn't survive, he'd be getting me a new dishwasher. Except that he cheaped out and was hoping he wouldn't have to replace it. Sometimes his brain just does not function on the same level of reality that most of the rest of us are on. He's brilliant and completely stupid at the same time. The scary thing is, Cha cha is very much like him.

Trust me, I've completely ripped him a new one.

[mikala]

But, but, even if the chemical seemed to survive intact wouldn't he still have to buy you a new dishwasher to avoid possibly ingesting it? And if it didn't survive intact you have potential fume issues so you wouldn't want to do it in a house. Why not just buy a cheap used dishwasher on CL, put it somewhere vented/try to follow professional testing standards and be done with it?

[mommylamb]

Well, I think you tell him that he now has a dishwasher to use for these things and pack up your current dishwasher and have him take it to work.

[OKKiddo]

We own the company. Until now, he hasn't needed a dishwasher. I think his plan was if this chemical survived the dishwasher process intact, he wouldn't need to buy one for the company. If it didn't survive, he'd be getting me a new dishwasher. Except that he cheaped out and was hoping he wouldn't have to replace it. Sometimes his brain just does not function on the same level of reality that most of the rest of us are on. He's brilliant and completely stupid at the same time. The scary thing is, Cha cha is very much like him.

Trust me, I've completely ripped him a new one.

Make him buy 2 new dishwashers. One for your house and one for his business. Oh, and new dishes are a must!

[BabbyO]

Well, looks like he just purchased the dishwasher for the company to do these tests...now he can replace yours and use your existing one for work.

Have him get a cheapo oven while he's buying your new dishwasher...so he doesn't have to use yours for work anymore. I'd imagine he'd be able to write off some of the expense...and no longer put the family at risk!

[gatorsmom]

But, but, even if the chemical seemed to survive intact wouldn't he still have to buy you a new dishwasher to avoid possibly ingesting it? And if it didn't survive intact you have potential fume issues so you wouldn't want to do it in a house. Why not just buy a cheap used dishwasher on CL, put it somewhere vented/try to follow professional testing standards and be done with it?

That would have been the more proactive thing to do. I KNOW he was not thinking about our safety when he decided to conduct his experiment. His head was completely in the experiment.

[gatorsmom]

Well, I think you tell him that he now has a dishwasher to use for these things and pack up your current dishwasher and have him take it to work.

Yep, it's in the back of his truck ready to go to the office.

And a new dishwasher is being installed as I type.

I guess DH got the message about how furious I am because just now when Gator was asking DH to sign his soccer rules agreement DH commented, "I'm not sure I can sign this. I'm not sure I'm still your legal guardian." :ROTFLMAO:

He knows he owes me BIG for all this stress.

[BunnyBee]

Go order a Miele! And a vat of wine.

[Still-in-Shock]

Yep, it's in the back of his truck ready to go to the office.

And a new dishwasher is being installed as I type.

I guess DH got the message about how furious I am because just now when Gator was asking DH to sign his soccer rules agreement DH commented, "I'm not sure I can sign this. I'm not sure I'm still your legal guardian." :ROTFLMAO:

He knows he owes me BIG for all this stress.

:applause: I'm glad the gravity of what he did finally sunk in to his head. In your shoes, I would have threatened him with Child Protective Services! But not in front of the children.

And while I rarely drink, I think you are definitely entitled to that margarita. :54:

[crl]

Yep, it's in the back of his truck ready to go to the office.

And a new dishwasher is being installed as I type.

I guess DH got the message about how furious I am because just now when Gator was asking DH to sign his soccer rules agreement DH commented, "I'm not sure I can sign this. I'm not sure I'm still your legal guardian." :ROTFLMAO:

He knows he owes me BIG for all this stress.

Glad to hear you already have a new dishwasher. :).

Catherine

[zukeypur]

OMG, I'd have a heart attack if my dh was doing science experiments using our household appliances that are used for FOOD and FOOD UTENSILS! I already get grossed out just hearing about ppl who wash their shoes in the dishwasher.
WHAT!?!?! People wash shoes in the dishwasher? GROSS!!!!!


Yep, it's in the back of his truck ready to go to the office.

And a new dishwasher is being installed as I type.

I guess DH got the message about how furious I am because just now when Gator was asking DH to sign his soccer rules agreement DH commented, "I'm not sure I can sign this. I'm not sure I'm still your legal guardian." :ROTFLMAO:

He knows he owes me BIG for all this stress.
Glad he has seen the light. :bighand:

[gatorsmom]

Glad to hear you already have a new dishwasher. :).

Catherine

Well, yeah, except the new dishwasher is the Thermador that came free with our suite of kitchen appliances for our new house. It was in the garage waiting for DH to put on eBay or Craigslist. I really didn't want it because it doesn't have a heating element. I've found that my dishes don't get dry without a heating element especially since I run the dishwasher a couple times per day. So we got a Kitchenaid with a heating element in the bottom. And that is the one DH chose to do his experiment in. :banghead:

The really annoying thing is that his chemicals will never be used in a setting where they need to withstand the temperatures that a very hot dishwasher produce. So really, the Thermador would have been fine for using to test this chemical application. And so IMO (though he wouldn't admit this), his test proved nothing.

[TwinFoxes]

Yep, it's in the back of his truck ready to go to the office.

And a new dishwasher is being installed as I type.

I guess DH got the message about how furious I am because just now when Gator was asking DH to sign his soccer rules agreement DH commented, "I'm not sure I can sign this. I'm not sure I'm still your legal guardian." :ROTFLMAO:

He knows he owes me BIG for all this stress.

I'm glad he came to his senses. Funny comment about being a legal guardian...I think he knows he made a major mistake.

[npace19147]

Well, yeah, except the new dishwasher is the Thermador that came free with our suite of kitchen appliances for our new house. It was in the garage waiting for DH to put on eBay or Craigslist. I really didn't want it because it doesn't have a heating element. .

Then he hasn't replaced your dishwasher. Go back out and get another one of the one that you wanted. Don't let him get away with this!

[Still-in-Shock]

Then he hasn't replaced your dishwasher. Go back out and get another one of the one that you wanted. Don't let him get away with this!

ABSOLUTELY! Get one that's better than what you had wanted! The one in the garage can still be sold (but now as gently used), and you can take your time finding the exactly which dishwasher you would like. And make HIM wait at home for the delivery.

And don't forget that well-deserved margarita.

[Seitvonzu]

oh sweet goodness.


definitely time for new dishes, sippies, etc. AND the dishwasher you want.

crazy.

(definitely new dishes ;))

[Twoboos]

Then he hasn't replaced your dishwasher. Go back out and get another one of the one that you wanted. Don't let him get away with this!

Wait, you HAD an un-used dishwasher in the garage, and he used the one in your kitchen?

I think everyone's been over this, but that is nuts and I would be beyond pissed. Actually, I might not get a new dishwasher but make DH wash ALL the dishes for about a month! ;)

I hear you on the so smart they are stupid thing. I call it smart with no common sense.

[maybeebaby08]

I can't believe he did that! I would have lost it! I'm glad you got a new one installed but you should still get the one you want, especially if it makes your life easier.

[niccig]

I'm still trying to wrap my head around blowing off all occupation health and safety rules to use a residential kitchen with kids in it to test chemicals.

Your DH needs to build himself a lab where he can safely experiment to his heart's content.

[trales]

As a mom I am horrified for you. As a chemist I am aghast. He really needs to read some OSHA rules and best practices standards. OMG.

Tomorrow, go get a massage and sign up for meditation, you will need them.

[twowhat?]

Wow!!

I would be beyond angry. Way, way beyond angry. I used to work in the semiconductor industry with all sorts of chemicals. Our ovens in the fab are vented to an air handler. Your oven isn't. You don't test the heat resistance of chemicals at home with your wife and children around. You test it in the oven at work with the proper venting. And if you really think you need to test a board in a dishwasher, go for it. In the dishwasher at work.

I can't even believe he thought that was OK.

I don't even work in the semiconductor industry but to me this just plain seems like COMMON SENSE. Ugh!!!! I'm mad for you! I'm glad he's realized how dumb he was. Hope he realizes it enough to stop being dumb.

[kara97210]

Tomorrow, go get a massage and sign up for meditation, you will need them.

:yeahthat: My husband has done some blockhead things too. I think a massage (and a drink) are in order.

[Tondi G]

We own the company. Until now, he hasn't needed a dishwasher. I think his plan was if this chemical survived the dishwasher process intact, he wouldn't need to buy one for the company. If it didn't survive, he'd be getting me a new dishwasher. Except that he cheaped out and was hoping he wouldn't have to replace it. Sometimes his brain just does not function on the same level of reality that most of the rest of us are on. He's brilliant and completely stupid at the same time. The scary thing is, Cha cha is very much like him.

Trust me, I've completely ripped him a new one.

Maybe he should take this dishwasher to work now and use it for his testing. Mama is getting a new dishwasher .... and hopefully some new dishes and definitely some new sippy cups.

Personally I would never wash my plastic in the dishwasher anyways.

Hope he has realized the magnitude of what he has done!

[MamaMolly]

Sippies, dishwasher, dishes and possibly even DH would be gone. :banghead:

There have been times when the only way my DH 'got' how badly he'd misbehaved was by the level of freak out I did in reaction.

Enjoy your shopping trip for new dishes, sippies, etc.

[gatorsmom]

Personally I would never wash my plastic in the dishwasher anyways.



You might change your mind if you had twins. It's all about "simplify" when you have twins.

[khalloc]

Personally I would never wash my plastic in the dishwasher anyways.


I cant imagine NOT washing my plastic in the dishwasher. I'd be washing dishes for hours every night. The kids lunches are packed with multiple pieces of tupperware everyday. It would kill me..

[TwoBees]

Oh.My.Goodness. I am literally speechless. I don't think I would ever speak to DH again if he did something like that.

[crayonblue]

I've got a brilliant husband who sometimes does the most insane things ever too so I get it. New dishwasher, new dishes. However, if your DH is like mine...you are the one who will stress over paying for the new stuff and it won't bother him at all!

Hopefully your DH won't try that again!

[gatorsmom]

There have been times when the only way my DH 'got' how badly he'd misbehaved was by the level of freak out I did in reaction.
.

Yes exactly. Why do I have to scream to be heard??

[123LuckyMom]

Yep, it's in the back of his truck ready to go to the office.

And a new dishwasher is being installed as I type.

I guess DH got the message about how furious I am because just now when Gator was asking DH to sign his soccer rules agreement DH commented, "I'm not sure I can sign this. I'm not sure I'm still your legal guardian." :ROTFLMAO:

He knows he owes me BIG for all this stress.

Oh, that's funny! I'm glad he understands now how wrong, wrong, wrong he was!!! I agree, though, that you need the dishwasher you want, not the one you didn't want that was in your garage! All we good parents know that the only way people learn is to be allowed to experience the consequences of our actions ;). The consequences of his are that he'll need to buy you a new, GOOD dishwasher. If it were me, he'd be buying an oven, too, and he can take the old one for work. Then he'll have an oven and a dishwasher and can stay the H E double hockey sticks out of my kitchen with his chemicals!!!