Help...First grade, suspensions

[LBW]

My 1st grader has been having a rough 2013. In January, he started shutting down in school, refusing to speak to anyone for an hour or more. His explanation was that he was bored. Since he had had similar issues in K, I quickly requested an IEP evaluation. Soon after, the school determined he didn't need to be evaluated because he was doing fine academically. They decided, instead, to do an FBA and work on stressing positive behavior. They also stated that the CST would work with him and their office would be his "safe place" to go when he was upset.

In the month following the meeting, I didn't hear much from the school. Unfortunately, while they weren't communicating with me, they were punishing DS2 for his behavior instead of following the plan they had in place. He was sent to the VP's office multiple times a week instead of the CST office. In those weeks, he went from shutting down when he was frustrated to screaming and throwing things. I was told of this one day, and the next (while I was reeling from what I had been told) he was suspended for hitting another child in gym.

Since that time, they've changed their mind about eval'ing him. I'm taking him to a therapist, a neurologist, and hope to have an OT eval scheduled soon. Prelim results show him as having a high IQ. In addition, his therapist believes he has sensory issues that are making certain parts of school physically uncomfortable for him. I really want to pull him from school since I feel like it's doing much more damage than good at this point, but several people have encouraged me to keep him in school so that the eval process can be completed. We have 31 days left at this point.

I had to pick him up early twice in the past week because he had a meltdown. The principal has called both days suspensions. One day he pushed a CST member when she tried to remove him from the classroom. (I believe the other students had left.) I don't what makes the other day a suspension.

Obviously, everything that's going on is very upsetting to me. I feel hopeless and helpless. I'm not sure if leaving him in school is the correct decision. I feel like it isn't, but don't know anyone who agrees with me.

On top of that, the suspensions are really bothering me. I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it does. (FWIW, I think I had detention once in my life, and the idea of being suspended always horrified me.) If you made it this far, I'm hoping someone here can tell me why I shouldn't be so upset about my 1st grader being "suspended." Can you tell me it means nothing in the long run? Will it affect our chances of getting him into another school in the fall? (We're looking at smaller schools where he can get more one on one attention. Haven't found the perfect fit yet.)

Also, if you have any thoughts on keeping him in school vs. pulling him, I'd appreciate it.

[hillview]

Wow well I'd say the school is messing things up. I'd INSIST on an IEP. I'd immediately (even before the IEP) get a meeting with head of school to come up with a plan that ALL teachers and staff are on board with. 1st grade seems very young for this kind of suspension thing. It sounds like there is something going on with DS and it is up to you (and the school!) to figure it out and assist him so he can have a better time.

WRT not attending the last 31 days -- will he return to this school? If so I'd personally suck it up and get them to make a plan now so that going into next year you get a fresh start with a plan in hand.

SO sorry that stinks

[LBW]

Wow well I'd say the school is messing things up. I'd INSIST on an IEP. I'd immediately (even before the IEP) get a meeting with head of school to come up with a plan that ALL teachers and staff are on board with. 1st grade seems very young for this kind of suspension thing. It sounds like there is something going on with DS and it is up to you (and the school!) to figure it out and assist him so he can have a better time.

I've met with her. She's a big part of the problem. Has terrible leadership skills and focuses on punishment rather than addressing triggers/causes. For example, DS2 can't handle being in line in the noisy school hallways. The kids bump up against each other and are loud. That gets him on edge, and any other thing can set him off. I asked the principal if she could make one simple change - always have him at the front of the line. She said no. He can't be the "line leader" every week. End of conversation.

[wellyes]

Didn't want to read and not post. I'm just sorry you're going through this. You have a sad, angry kid now and I can't imagine how a SUSPENSION is going to help in a 1st grader having these problems!

[georgiegirl]

Hugs. I can see why you would be so upset. Obviously, the school is not meeting his needs and he's not getting much out of school at this point. I don't have any advice, but it sounds like you are doing the right thing by getting outside evaluations. Can you just send him when he has the new school evaluations too, but not for ordinary days?

[o_mom]

Can you contact the district special education office to get guidance? Ask them what you can do to keep him in the least restrictive environment until the evaluations are complete.

I'm not sure how the process works while waiting for the evaluations, but if they think he may have a disability, they must evaluate and *I think* consider him to have a disability in the meantime.

[sariana]

I'm not sure exactly how the law reads on this, but if you request an evaluation, the school must comply within a certain period of time. They cannot decide he does not need to be evaluated.

I agree with the suggestion to speak to the Special Education director--at the district level, not the school. It would not hurt to mention your lawyer. (Of course you have a lawyer. ;))

Do you know anyone who has children in the SpEd program? They might be able to put you in contact with an Advocate or an organization that can help you.

[o_mom]

I'm not sure exactly how the law reads on this, but if you request an evaluation, the school must comply within a certain period of time. They cannot decide he does not need to be evaluated.



That actually varies by state. I don't know where the OP is, but here if they can show a child is meeting grade-level standards (not age-level and regardless of ability) and is able to function in a regular classroom, they do not have to do an evaluation. CA is a state where they must evaluate on request, but not all states are, unfortunately.

[JustMe]

I would be upset about the suspensions too! I agree you need to finish out the evaluations this year. Is there any other school he can go to next year? I worry about the principal based upon what you say.

[LBW]

Can you contact the district special education office to get guidance?

Sadly, I've done this, and it hasn't helped. We're planning to escalate to the county level.


I'm not sure exactly how the law reads on this, but if you request an evaluation, the school must comply within a certain period of time.

They actually are evaluating him now, but they delayed making the decision to eval long enough that it's not likely he'll have an IEP before the end of the school year.


That actually varies by state. I don't know where the OP is, but here if they can show a child is meeting grade-level standards (not age-level and regardless of ability) and is able to function in a regular classroom, they do not have to do an evaluation.

Yes - this. I'm in NJ. My first request for an eval in January was denied because he is above grade level in reading and math. They changed their minds in March when his classroom participation had dropped to zero. By that time the meltdowns were almost daily and had become extreme. Since he was no longer participating in class at all, they couldn't claim that he was meeting grade-level expectations.


Is there any other school he can go to next year? I worry about the principal based upon what you say.

Me too. One of the reasons I second guess my decision to leave him in school through the end of the year is that I do not have any faith in this school's (or the district's) administration. Even with an IEP, I do not trust them to help my child.

We're looking into other school options. I'm hoping to speak to the admissions director at a small school for gifted children today. My nagging doubt is that if I pull him out of the public school and enroll him in private...what happens if he continues having meltdowns? I know most private schools don't have the resources of public and have no obligation to keep children in school.

I just dropped him off at school today and my day's waiting for a phone call has begun.

[BunnyBee]

If you can afford it, get a private eval.

[larig]

I'm so sorry that the school is being so unsupportive. You're getting some good advice, and I don't know the ins-and-outs of the Spec Ed world yet, but I couldn't not send a hug your way. Hang in there, and keep fighting for your kiddo. :grouphug:

[missym]

What a nightmare for you and your poor DS. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I also think you should check out a private evaluation - ours was worth every penny. I felt better having an unbiased report.

[Still-in-Shock]

My only knowledge of special ed comes second hand (friends and sibling's children), but I do know that everything depends on you. If the school is mishandling things, you need to jump in and set them straight.

If you think the word suspension should not go on his record, you need to work to remove that. Even if it means hiring a lawyer. Unfortunately, school districts respond more to threats than to honest parents. And I think you have a valid case, considering that the school refused your request for an IEP early on.

With only 31 days left in the school year, the school has no incentive to get the evaluation done. I would go to the county as soon as you can, since they will probably not do much over the summer either.

[crl]

Are there any public school alternatives? An IEP would go a very long way towards protecting him from things like suspension as long as he is in public school.

Catherine

[JustMe]

Are there any public school alternatives? An IEP would go a very long way towards protecting him from things like suspension as long as he is in public school.

Catherine

I agree. Is there anything like a public alternative school or a charter school that is very much a part of the public school system?

[Sweetum]

IMO anything that can lead to disruption in education warrants an IEP. Your DS had challenges that led to his suspension, and that means disruption of education. He needs an IEP, and deserves an evaluation at a minimum before being labeled "that kid". It's unfair to him.
I second getting a private evaluation. This will not only answer a lot of questions about DS' challenges but you will know if the school is really looking your child or if they are looking at their bottomline. You can decide the course once you have that, and you will be able to pursue it with more conviction. Somehow, I always feel that there is always a conflict of interest when school's evaluate, esp given budget cuts.

[egoldber]

I agree about getting the private evaluation. I would also ask for the school psychologist to do a classroom observation. It's best if it is someone that he doesn't know. They are sometimes able to observe dynamics within the class that the teacher is not aware of (whican can be tricky to broach with the teacher...). In our district, I asked the school counselor to set this up.

In our district, if a child is on or above grade level, it is almost impossible to get an IEP unless you child has an autism spectrum diagnosis (even then it is difficult unless the social impairment is severe) or a significant physical disability (deaf, limited mobility, etc.). You can, however, get a 504 if your child has a condition which impairs their ability to "fully access the curriculum".

http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/sec504.index.htm

In my district, the magic words are "I want an IEP evaluation for a 504 plan". That sets in place the evaluation process. But it can take months if you rely on the district and poorly funded districts will put up a lot of roadblocks. If you have a diagnosis in hand from outside, you can bypass the evaluation process and ask "for an IEP meeting to establish a 504 plan" for my child.

A 504 does not have the same legal clout as an IEP, but it does establish that his teachers and the school need to make modifications to the classroom and curriculum that allow him to fully function within the classroom. That could be things like.....

preferential seating
the right to use coping tools (fidget balls, etc.)
the right to see the counselor when he is upset
the right to have reduced homework load (if appropriate)

I actually removed my older DD from a classroom this year because her teacher was repeatedly not allowing her to see the counselor (which is in her 504 plan). When I e-mailed the counselor and principal that I was concerned because he "was repeatedly not allowing her to use the tools outlined in her 504" they took that very seriously and offered us an alternative placement.

Based on the 504 you can request particular teachers, request that certain classroom environments be avoided, request placement in groups without certain children if they are triggers, etc.

So the 504 can be very effective.

And I can tell you that younger DD was almost suspended from KINDERGARTEN this year. They called us and said "if you get here in 10 minutes, we'll just say she was never here today" vs. having a suspension on her file. But they only did this because they already knew we had an evaluation scheduled for her in the next week. I would absolutely try to get that suspension off his record especially if you think you might apply to private school. The private school will likely want a copy of his public school record.