parents of twins or higher question?

[k_null81]

My twin boys will be 4 in July. My mom's good friend every summer takes one of her granddaughters with her to Chicago for 3 nights (5 hour drive roughly)...She really wants my mom to come and bring one of the boys and then next summer the other. Seeing as they are twins do you think this will be ok? I'm sure they will both cry but I don't think it will be that big of a deal. Just wondering if I'm putting to much thought into it as they are twins and a little young so explaining why their brother is gone with grandma for a couple nights might be a little rough. They have never really been apart outside of a couple hours maybe max 5 times ever.

Thanks in advance for any insight or if anyone has any been there done that advice...

[BabyBearsMom]

I don't have twins but could you maybe plan something special to do one on one with the DS who stays home with you? That way you can say it is DS1's special trip with grandma and DS2's special mommy time?

[kellyd]

Have they done overnights before? I'd probably try to send the one who is staying home to grandma's for a weekend before the trip. That way they get each get away for special time with grandma.

I'd be inclined to do this as a trial because you can see how they are w/o the other one and they've both gotten away. My girls are a year younger but on the rare occasion that one has gone somewhere w/o the other then one left at home will walk around for ever looking for her sister... The one who gets to go also pesters the parent she's w/ for where her sister is. My girls do have an older brother who goes w/ grammy and pappy frequently by himself. They usually ask once where he is and then couldn't care less.

[Kindra178]

My twins are a year older than yours. I don't think it's a good idea, at least for the twin that is left out. It would definitely be good bonding time between grandma and grandchild though. I think your choices are for either both to go or neither. When they are older, like 7-8, they will understand this a bit more.

[Pennylane]

I think that sounds like fun! I have twins and definitely would let one go.

Ann

[dowlinal]

I think it depends on your twins. My boys are almost 4 and are very closely bonded. They do not handle any extended separation well and like to be in sight of each other. Just a few weeks ago one wanted to sleep next door at my mom's and at 9:00 I called her bc the one at home was hysterical. His twin next door was the same. He literally ran home and the two hugged as if they had been separated for years. So for us, this vacation would not work.

[gamma]

I don't have twins, so whatever your decision is I can't really give any input as to which is best. Based on the age of your twins, I feel that for the twin left behind, next year is way too long to wait for their turn with grandma. If you decide to allow one twin to go, then grandma should do something special with the other twin the next weekend.

[TwinFoxes]

Based on the age of your twins, I feel that for the twin left behind, next year is way too long to wait for their turn with grandma.

:yeahthat: It just wouldn't work in our family. A year might as well be "when you're grown-up".Plus, unless you enjoy answering "when will I get to go to Chicago" regularly for the next year, you should reaaallly think twice! Could she maybe take both boys for one-two days? Like Saturday morning, return Sunday evening?

[Melaine]

That wouldn't be something I would remotely consider. too much drama for this twin mama!!

[twowhat?]

I'm sure every set of twins is different but there is no way in h-e-double hockey sticks that would work in our house, particularly at that age.

[Nemesia]

I would just now start considering this sort of arrangement for my dds, and my twins just turned 8. They are very close, and have trouble sleeping in a different room from each other. I think it depends on the twins.

[k_null81]

Thanks for all the input! It's greatly appreciated. I'm really on the fence with this. Not really sure how my boys would handle it. I do think they will cry some but not sure if it would be that bad.

So those of you with twins is it normal for them to fight WAY more then get along??? I am just so and tired of the constant fighting...

[gatorsmom]

I think it depends on your twins. My boys are almost 4 and are very closely bonded. They do not handle any extended separation well and like to be in sight of each other. Just a few weeks ago one wanted to sleep next door at my mom's and at 9:00 I called her bc the one at home was hysterical. His twin next door was the same. He literally ran home and the two hugged as if they had been separated for years. So for us, this vacation would not work.

:yeahthat: I think it totally depends on your twins. Mine have 2 other siblings and are as closely bonded with their other brothers as they are with each other. I can see Sisi not even noticing that Greenbean was gone if I called one of her school friends over for a playdate. :ROTFLMAO: But I know other twins who are very, very close that this wouldnt work for.

ETA: just saw your recent post. My twins fight- but mainly with their next oldest brother, Cha Cha. They always want to play with him (and I don't blame them- the kid has some seriously creative ideas and is pretty funny) and he likes to be alone A LOT. So they hit him to get his attention and he hates them beating on him and bugging him. So he hits back. It never turns out well. :(

[ABO Mama]

:yeahthat: It just wouldn't work in our family. A year might as well be "when you're grown-up".Plus, unless you enjoy answering "when will I get to go to Chicago" regularly for the next year, you should reaaallly think twice! Could she maybe take both boys for one-two days? Like Saturday morning, return Sunday evening?

A year is an eternity at that age. We have twins plus one, and that vacation situation would be seen as totally unfair by all DC. The ones left at home would be mad as he**, and rightly so in their minds. A shorter overnight with grandma, where each child gets a turn within a month, would be ok with my DC (I know every family is different).

[TwinFoxes]

:yeahthat: I think it totally depends on your twins. Mine have 2 other siblings and are as closely bonded with their other brothers as they are with each other. I can see Sisi not even noticing that Greenbean was gone if I called one of her school friends over for a playdate. :ROTFLMAO: But I know other twins who are very, very close that this wouldnt work for.



It's not so much that my girls would miss each other (although they are quite close). They would be really, really angry that they didn't get to spend special time with Grandma, especially if there's a hotel and restaurants involved. They both can't get enough Grandma time, and they are obsessed with what's "fair".

[♥ms.pacman♥]

i don't have twins but i can't imagine that going well at least with my kids. i agree that a year, even a month, is an eternity at that age...they have a hard time even waiting a few minutes for their turn at something.

i know other friends have had grandma take one kid on a trip somewhere where the other one stays with the parents, but usually the kid being "left out" of activity is under 2 years old and isn't old enough to care. at 4 years old, i'd imagine the one not going with grandma would totally notice and would feel left out.

[Clarity]

Twins or not, this would not be happening at my house. She wants to take a four year old on a five hour drive to Chicago and stay three nights? This is a great trip but maybe for when they're older - like 10. ;). Just my 2c!

[Twin Mom]

I don't think my twins would like it if that happened. At that age though I'm not sure it would be as big an issue as it would be now but I don't still don't think I would do it.

I've been trying to remember a time when my twins have spent more than 1 night apart from each other and I can't really think of one. I don't think it would be a bad thing if one went to sleep away camp and the other didn't want to go but 1 spending more time with grandma would not go over well at all.