How many invites to send?

[onyx8]

We are having a 4th birthday party for DS at the end of next month. The location will allow up to 10 children. I am struggling with how many kids to invite - clearly I want to invite more than 10 kids as not everyone will be able to come...how many would you invite? His class at school is 10 kids (including him) plus there are 3 more friends outside of his class we will definitely invite, so that's 13 kids including DS.

In short, if you were hoping to get 10 kids total at a party on a Saturday the last weekend of June, how many would you invite?

This is the first time we are doing a b-day party at a venue that limits the number of kids so I am waffling on what to do.

TIA!

[smiles33]

I've gone through this so many times and I don't know if there's a right answer. Here are some factors to consider:

- Do parents in your area bring uninvited siblings? They do here and I've had 3 extra siblings show up before. Sometimes they just SHOW UP with them. One of them asked me in person before the party, "Hey, you don't mind if I bring her big brother do you?" The first time I was caught off guard, but even now I feel "cheap" saying no. But yeah, I'm thinking to myself, "Sorry, no, I don't want to pay another $20 per kid for the siblings who are not friends with my DD." Plus I do think it's weird to have an 8 year old boy at a 5 year old girl's princess party. Sigh. The first year we did a birthday party for DD1's friends at our house and 2 big brothers showed up unexpectedly. They ended up playing video games my husband set up while the girls did their princess craft at our house. But still, at least that party was at home as opposed to a place that charges by the kid.

- Do parents who are NOT coming actually RSVP no? I had 7 girls not RSVP to DD1's 7th birthday party. DD1 initially invited 12 (2 "extra" above the 10 person minimum) so we only had 5 confirmed guests! I had no idea if the 7 were going to show up or not but I did let DD invite a handful more girls a week beforehand (which is really last minute, I know!). It's a good thing I let her invite more girls because we still ended up being 2 short of the minimum for the paint-your-pottery place. I had to buy a $30 "memory plate" for all the guests to sign to meet my minimum. So that's 17 people invited and only 6 actual guests (DD1 and DD2 don't count).

Anyhow, I'm curious to see what others say. Needless to say, for DD2's party in June, I decided to invite 5 more over my "maximum" assuming a significant drop-off. Yet I now have 2 siblings coming as well and may be paying quite a bit more. This place has a 1-15 kid flat fee and going over 15 is a second tier price....Fingers crossed that I don't have too many people RSVP yes!!!

[westwoodmom04]

Unless school is out, we find 90 to 95 percent of the kids do come to the party. I sent out paper invitations once, and literally had to chase people down to get an RSVP. With evite (or equivalent, like pingg), I usually hear one way or the other from 95 percent of the folks pretty quickly. I usually send an e-mail out to those I haven't heard from the week before to get a final count.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Eek! A limit of 10 is tricky. Are you sure you can't pay more for extra kids?

I don't think it is a good idea to invite more than 10 if you can't fit them all. You never know and you could end up with 100% coming...then what would you do to the people you can't fit?

With such a small class, I don't think you should skip inviting any of them just to accomodate the 3 outside of school friends.

If those outside of school friends are the priority then perhaps invite them and then 1-2 good friends from school. If school is out, it should be ok socially (do tell the invitees that it is a small party and not everyone in the class was invited so they don't blab and make it awkward).

[ezcc]

I have had a few parties where every kid said yes- you can always add in a kid later... June might be slightly safer b/c of travel though.

[sarahsthreads]

Summer is so hard for birthdays. We invited 7 kids last year to DD2's 4th birthday (at home, thankfully) and only had 4 say yes and then TWO of those families cancelled at the last minute (like, the day before) because (and they literally said this) "something better came up". (So. Incredibly. Rude.)

So this year, we're having it at a place that has a flat fee up to 12 kids (not counting the birthday kid) and it's an extra $10 per kid after that. We're inviting her entire preschool class of 20, and possibly a couple of extras. I will be *thrilled* if we have to pay for extra kids, I feel so badly that last year was such a bust! :)

I think in your shoes I would ask the venue if there's any possible way to accommodate extras, and if there is then invite the 13 kids on your list. End of June/early July around here is apparently, "sure I'll come to your birthday party, if I feel like it and there's nothing better going on." (Not bitter or anything.)

Sarah :)