UPDATE: Separating! Kid room placement advice. Kinda difficult and long, sorry!

[bisous]

UPDATE: I just had a few friends visit. These gals helped me think the whole thing through. Looking at our layout together, I've decided to go ahead and put the two big boys in the playroom. It wouldn't take much moving of stuff around, the big boys spend almost all of their time in the playroom anyway and they would not mind having the doors open most of the time leaving our open floorplan. That leaves DS3 and the new baby to share the quieter bedroom. There is plenty of room this way and it makes sense from a sleeping strategy point of view. Whether the baby is a boy or a girl, we'll keep the littles together for the first few years and I'm sure it will be just fine!

Thank you for helping me think this through. I'm sure this isn't the perfect decision but I feel peace!

XXX

I'm up right now. It is 4:06 am. I can't figure out what to do with my kids when DC4 comes in November, lol. I know, it is a LONG way away but...

We live in a small house. It is a great house and situation for us and there is a lot to be recommended. But it is small. Especially for four kids. But such a great deal, great location, great so many things that moving is not really part of the equation for several years.

Our house is basically a square. Each of the four corners is a large room and the middle segment is the entry way with an eat-in kitchen on the other side. One side of the house has a bedroom in each corner. The other side has a large living room and what was a dining room but functions for us as a library/playroom. It has doors that connect it both to the living room AND to the kitchen/nook area in the middle.

Right now both sets of playroom doors are open all the time and the flow of the house is really nice. In order to facilitate that we have all three kids sharing a room. In their room they have clothes and beds and some stuffed animals. All of their books and toys are stored in the playroom. It works fairly well. I'm hesitant to make this room a bedroom because it disrupts the open feeling of the home. There is another path to the kitchen from the living room (through a door in the kitchen) but the openness of the current plan is just really nice. Another downside to use of this room as a bedroom is that it shares walls with the kitchen and the living room whereas the bedrooms are very nicely isolated from public areas and much quieter (better for naps by far).

But when we start thinking about adding a fourth child, it makes me wonder if we would be better served by separating the kids a bit. DH thinks if this one is a girl that she should have her own room (even as an infant!) although frankly I don't have strong feelings one way or the other in this regard. If it is a boy, he thinks all four should share (just add DS4 to the room with his brothers) which would be a stretch but would work. Although it would be a little hard having an infant, a 2yo, a 6yo and a 10yo all in the same room! (We have a bunk bed with trundle, and a crib in there right now. We have space for a pack n' play or minicrib if necessary.) The other option is separating out the two bigger boys. We could put their bunks in the playroom, keep most of their toys there and still keep it open for play etc. during the day. BUT they could close the doors if they wanted privacy from the littler kids.

What would YOU do? If you had a girl, would you:

a. Give up the playroom and make a nursery/bedroom for her
b. Have her share with her three brothers in the "sleeping area" and maintain the playroom
c. Make her share with her 2yo brother and put the big boys in playroom
d. Put the little kids in the playroom and the big kids in the quiet, more private room.

If you had a BOY would you:

a. Just keep him in the same room with all three brothers
b. Still put the big boys in the playroom and keep the two littles in the quiet bedroom
c. Still put the big boys in the quieter room and keep the littles in the playroom

Essentially, would you convert the playroom to a bedroom? What kids would you put there?

If you've made is this far THANK YOU. I can't tell you how I'm agonizing over this!

[wellyes]

I'd keep the baby in my own bedroom for the first 6-8 months, so, you can put off any changes for a while!

Then I think I'd put the two older kids in the playroom in bunks. They'll be old enough to be expected to understand the difference between "time to sleep" and "time to play", which the toddler wouldn't. And they won't need naps so the noisiness of the room won't be an issue. The two younger kids can room together for several years, whether they are same or opposite sex. My 5 and 2 year old opposite sex kids share a room and LOVE it.

[georgiegirl]

I'd keep the baby in my own bedroom for the first 6-8 months, so, you can put off any changes for a while!

Then I think I'd put the two older kids in the playroom in bunks. They'll be old enough to be expected to understand the difference between "time to sleep" and "time to play", which the toddler wouldn't. And they won't need naps so the noisiness of the room won't be an issue. The two younger kids can room together for several years, whether they are same or opposite sex. My 5 and 2 year old opposite sex kids share a room and LOVE it.

I agree. I like to have baby nearby. My kids are 7 (Dd) and almost 4 (DS) and they sleep in the same room. Eventually we will but DS with the new baby boy (but not for at least 1 year), and DD will get her own room.

[KrisM]

I agree about the baby in your room for the first number of months. DS2 was in our room until he turned 1.

After that? I think I'd put loft beds in the playroom and put the 2 oldest in there and off the ground so that it could still be a playroom during the day.

[egoldber]

I actually disagree a little, but I think the older kids need more privacy. I think it would be hard to have playdates or play time for the younger kids in the older kids' space. To me, having the older kids rooms be in the "playroom" would signal that their stuff is fair game.

I'm also envisioning the older kids having friends over and their space being a little kid area. I know that *my* older DD would find that awkward and embarrassing. In less than 3 years, your oldest is going to be a teen.

I would have them all share the bedroom if possible long term, although I agree with keeping the baby in your bedroom for as long as possible.

[Philly Mom]

I actually disagree a little, but I think the older kids need more privacy. I think it would be hard to have playdates or play time for the younger kids in the older kids' space. To me, having the older kids rooms be in the "playroom" would signal that their stuff is fair game.

I'm also envisioning the older kids having friends over and their space being a little kid area. I know that *my* older DD would find that awkward and embarrassing. In less than 3 years, your oldest is going to be a teen.

I would have them all share the bedroom if possible long term, although I agree with keeping the baby in your bedroom for as long as possible.

ITA. I would keep the baby in your room and then have the four share. Eventually I would reassess but would lean towards giving the older kids privacy.

[bisous]

Yeah, I agree with you all. I'll definitely be sharing the bedroom with the baby in the beginning. So technically, I don't need to ponder this question for like a year! But here I am, not able to sleep, lol wondering about room situations years from now.

Beth, what you are saying makes a lot of sense. On the other hand, right now, the playroom is almost exclusively used by the older kids. Its almost a lego room, honestly and so it seems logical (to me) to just put their beds in there and be done with it. It does have doors and I guess in the "teen" years I'm envisioning taking out some of the bookshelves (now housing toys), putting in "lounge" seating and making it a hang out type of room for the boys. We don't have a separate family room but the playroom is open and airy (albeit smaller than the bedroom).

But it is appealing to think of putting the big boys in the more private room too. Although I think we'd have a period of a couple of years of disrupted naps if we went that route. And two beds fitting into the playroom really only works as bunks (and therefore must be older kids). The dimensions of the room are odd and with the low window and two sets of double doors (at corners) there is really only ONE place for a bed--along the back wall. (Which is also visible from the front door if the doors are open!)

[wellyes]

Having been a kid that age (ha ha), I think the best route would be to ask the boys to decide what they'd like, and go with that. Within reason. Let them feel like it's their choice, not an imposition caused by the new baby into an already crowded house.

[bisous]

Having been a kid that age (ha ha), I think the best route would be to ask the boys to decide what they'd like, and go with that. Within reason. Let them feel like it's their choice, not an imposition caused by the new baby into an already crowded house.

Excellent advice. That will make whatever road bumps we run into seem much smaller, I'm sure.

We're back to my usual wake up time, lol and I'm realizing I'll know the sex of the baby next week if she/he is cooperative at my appointment! So I really just need to settle down and wait. But I love the idea of talking to the boys about it!

[janine]

Sorry if I missed it but is this a 4bdrm with one as a playroom?

Like everyone says our nursery sat empty for the first 6 months so you do have time but in general I don't like the idea of everyone in one room (boys or girls). So I would say the playroom goes if that is the only option. I kind of agree that if the baby is a girl she should get her own room, but then the oldest should too maybe. That's a tough one, are you going to find out the sex? Will you definitely be in this house long term or is there any possibility of converting another space or adding on?

Good luck and it's never too early to plan so good for you for thinking ahead :).

[infocrazy]

We have boy, boy, girl, boy. DS is still in our room, but is moving into DD's room soon...although he needs to start sleeping better. Although we have four bedrooms, we have lots of out of town family so I want to keep the guest room longer. Eventually, DD will get her own room, but probably not until she is 5 or so.

[crl]

I would do baby in your room, then all four sharing for as long as feasible.

Catherine

[Still-in-Shock]

Something else to consider is keeping the crib in your room, and the baby in your room longer. My parents had a one bedroom appt until I was around 3, so my crib was in their room until we moved.

If you did something similar (but maybe not for as long), it gives all of you more time to see what works best as a family of 6.

[Simon]

I would keep in our room first, its the new recommendation anyhow. Then I'd try to preserve a playroom until Dc4 is closer to 2 yo and all done putting every thing into his/her mouth. It would be a major PITA to have to watch baby like a hawk because the oldest kids are playing with tiny things. OTOH, it would be great to have a playroom where the doors can close and they bigger kids can keep out their lego/playmobil/special toys and feel safe from baby.

At that point, I would likely separate the kids and do away with the playroom.

We have kept Ds1/Dd2 together and moved Ds3 into the playroom. We have baby toys + universal toys in Ds3's room and let all the kids in there to play. I also let Ds2 nap in there when he wants. Upstairs in Ds1/Ds2's room are the choking hazard toys. In another year or so, Ds3 will move to sleep with Ds1/Ds2 and we'll reclaim the playroom as a play/guest room. But I think not until Ds3 is closer to 2 years old. For now, it works better this way for us. Then, as Ds1 gets closer to high school age, we may let him take over the playroom for his bedroom, or maybe we'll have moved by then.

[bisous]

I'm finding out the sex of the baby on Friday (if baby cooperates!) so that factor will be eliminated. I'm still on the fence of what to do. I think the best tactic to take right now is "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" so we'll keep our current setup and go from there. As you can see, there are so many little details that matter and still quite a bit that is up in the air. But I did want to thank those of you who read my long post and helped appease me when it was the wee hours of the morning and I was fretting over this!

[longtallsally05]

I'd keep the baby in my own bedroom for the first 6-8 months, so, you can put off any changes for a while!

Then I think I'd put the two older kids in the playroom in bunks. They'll be old enough to be expected to understand the difference between "time to sleep" and "time to play", which the toddler wouldn't. And they won't need naps so the noisiness of the room won't be an issue. The two younger kids can room together for several years, whether they are same or opposite sex. My 5 and 2 year old opposite sex kids share a room and LOVE it.

Yes, this! My DD and DS#1 share a room (DS#2 has the nursery) and so far it has worked out well. I'm wavering over whether to give DD her own room next year. I know she'd love it, but I'm just not sure it would be practical for the boys to share just yet. DS#1 was two going on three and already accustomed to sleeping in his own bed when he and DD started sharing a room. DS#2 is still in the crib.

[daniele_ut]

We don't have a playroom and our kids have always had toys in their rooms. We have never had an issue with any of them getting out of bed to play with their toys so I see no issue with keeping age appropriate toys in each bedroom.

Our kids each have their own rooms right now but ALL of the non-baby friendly toys like Legos are kept in DS1's room and he only plays with them in there. The span of our kids' ages and their genders makes room sharing difficult so I wouldn't put them together to keep a playroom.

[bisous]

Bumping for update