Teens leaving FB for Twitter

[infomama]

I am happy to read this. My friend has a girl in HS and I can't tell you how cruel they are to each other on FB....the bullying is awful. A co-worker of mine who has HS boys says his kids left FB a while ago for Twitter. Of course I would love for the internet to break forever (thank you Tina Fey) when my dds get old enough to want to explore social media but since it probably isn't goin' anywhere...this is a good step.

I read that teens remark that FB is a 'social burden'.
How sad that kids have to stress about 'managing their reputation' online.

www.geekwire.com/2013/pew-report-teens-facebook-twitter-instagram/

[lalasmama]

Personally, I don't think it would stop most of the bullying. Slandering (or is that libel? I can't remember which one is verbal vs written) in 140 characters may add a little challenge, but maybe not.... It doesn't take anywhere near 140 characters to say someone slept with someone else, or anything else you can think of!

[brittone2]

My niece and her older sister were both bullied on FB years ago to the point that their mother and step father chose to relocate them to another state :( Absolutely awful stuff.

[kep]

Yes, I think bullying will continue to exist on all forms of social media unfortunately.

[TwinFoxes]

Twitter is just as bad, if not worse. It's immediate. You can direct message a bunch of people, ganging up on one, and include mean hashtags (#slut for example). And most parents/administrators aren't on twitter, they'll never see it. Don't make the mistake of thinking twitter is better.

[AnnieW625]

Personally, I don't think it would stop most of the bullying. Slandering (or is that libel? I can't remember which one is verbal vs written) in 140 characters may add a little challenge, but maybe not.... It doesn't take anywhere near 140 characters to say someone slept with someone else, or anything else you can think of!

:yeahthat: b!tch, sl*t, wh@re, sk@nk, and similar are all less than 140 characters. Social media can be just plain evil.

[Pennylane]

My niece and her older sister were both bullied on FB years ago to the point that their mother and step father chose to relocate them to another state :( Absolutely awful stuff.


That is so heartbreaking! I agree with pp's, I don't think getting off of fb will end the bullying. It is just as bad on twitter.

Ann

[megs4413]

That is so heartbreaking! I agree with pp's, I don't think getting off of fb will end the bullying. It is just as bad on twitter.

Ann

I kid you not, I tweeted maybe 5 total times and managed to get bullied by a CELEBRITY. Which of course meant that her legion of followers attacked me viciously. I had 5 tweets (none of which were nasty) and it just exploded. I have never been back on and won't be back on.

Is anyone else just going to ban these sites? as far as I'm concerned, our kids don't need to be involved in the world of social media: no fb, no instagram, no snapchat, no twitter, no tumblr, no youtube. whatever else comes along we'll block as well. They'll hate us as teenagers, but I just don't think any good comes of it. The neighbor girl my DD spends time with got a phone with a data plan recently (she's 11) and now she spends most of her days instagraming pics of herself (which I just don't approve of) and responding to nasty texts/comments from classmates. I mean, literally, the kid spends the bulk of her day snarking with other girls on her smartphone. it's ridiculous. I don't know why her mom lets it go on.

[Nooknookmom]

My graduating senior was bullied so bad in her freshman yr we chose to move schools for the remainder of HS. I have no idea if she was bullied online-she wouldn't give us real details. I do know it happened IRL-food thrown at her at school and such. Shes a really really shy kid and was a good target.

How sad that girls-mostly girls-can be so cruel.

And online it's so easy for them so say awful things b it's less of a "confrontation"-to me that's SO chicken. Ugh!!

My DD is on twitter-hates FB.

[ang79]

Well, considering that I myself don't have a FB, Twitter, or anything else account, I am really hoping that we can keep our girls away from it all. A friend of mine teaches 4th grade in my school district. She said she has had a horrible year with a group of girls in her class (4th grade!) that are on all these social media sites and bullying each other through them. She has called parent meetings and the parents are completely oblivious to everything. Its so sad (and scary!) the easy access that kids have to all of this and yet noone is teaching them how to use it correctly, and there is very little monitoring.

[brittone2]

I am not on FB and never created account, and I have a never used Twitter acct.

THat said, I think the hard part about an outright ban on it for older kids in particular is that at a certain point they will be access social media sites at sleepovers, friends' houses, etc. There was something on NPR a few months ago during anti bullying week, and they were stressing that it is really tough for our generation as social media is relatively new to all of us. We didn't grow up with it. Yet we need to equip our kids about how to be as safe as they can be, and how to use it relatively responsibly.

I do think parents have every right to set limits, and at 11, no child needs to be instagramming, FBing, etc. for a large portion of the day. It seems like that constant need for approval or whatever is just astounding among the preteens or teens.

I mentioned up thread about my nieces relocating out of state due to some serious FB bullying (including major threats of violence, etc.). Even then, in the era of social media, bullied teens can't even really retreat or have a soft place to land free from that drama, you know? It really can be a 24/7 thing weighing on them. Moving doesn't stop it in the digital age, but the girls involved lost interest once my nieces moved.

eta: here's the NPR piece I listened to. http://www.npr.org/2013/02/19/172027445/todays-bullied-teens-subject-to-sticks-and-stones-online-too

[megs4413]

I am not on FB and never created account, and I have a never used Twitter acct.

THat said, I think the hard part about an outright ban on it for older kids in particular is that at a certain point they will be access social media sites at sleepovers, friends' houses, etc. There was something on NPR a few months ago during anti bullying week, and they were stressing that it is really tough for our generation as social media is relatively new to all of us. We didn't grow up with it. Yet we need to equip our kids about how to be as safe as they can be, and how to use it relatively responsibly.

I do think parents have every right to set limits, and at 11, no child needs to be instagramming, FBing, etc. for a large portion of the day. It seems like that constant need for approval or whatever is just astounding among the preteens or teens.

I mentioned up thread about my nieces relocating out of state due to some serious FB bullying (including major threats of violence, etc.). Even then, in the era of social media, bullied teens can't even really retreat or have a soft place to land free from that drama, you know? It really can be a 24/7 thing weighing on them. Moving doesn't stop it in the digital age, but the girls involved lost interest once my nieces moved.

eta: here's the NPR piece I listened to. http://www.npr.org/2013/02/19/172027445/todays-bullied-teens-subject-to-sticks-and-stones-online-too

I think the point of the ban at our house would be that it couldn't be 24/7 if you could only do it at someone else's house. My DH is heavily involved in social media (since it's related to his business) and I'm glad he is, because it gives me a better perspective on what is really out there now.

[janine]

I think social media in general is very worrying for the tween/teen set and only getting worse. Even if you are not on FB, that doesn't mean the other kids aren't and posting about you. Twitter is not that much better although I don't really know Twitter.

How about all those news stories where girls were assaulted, but it was the tormenting (and photos posted) on social media that put them over the edge. I think we need to make posting of (crime) photos, video'ing of crime, and posting about it a crime in itself. It is a frightening world we are entering...social media has brought us closer but sometimes that means we can't protect our kids as easily (they could be bullied while in their room on the computer). I just hope some solutions come about by the time mine are older.

[anamika]

I am not on any social media because I don't want to deal with the angst I think it will bring me! Can't imagine teens dealing with that kind of social pressure.
I love these lines from Tina Fey's prayer for her daughter:

O Lord, break the Internet forever,
That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers
And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

[Still-in-Shock]

You can be bullied on a forum like this, and I did see that happen on a cruise forum. The fact is all online communication sites, whether they are forums or chat sites or even Pinterest, are just tools. And you have to learn how to use a tool properly or you can get hurt.

We wouldn't let a child run around with a hammer without making sure that they understood what it was for and how to manage it, so the same should be done for social media sites. Don't post a picture of yourself sitting on a toilet. Don't send a mean message. Don't hit someone with a hammer.

Kids don't always have the best judgment, so parents need to monitor them. And it can be done. My SIL is on FB, mostly to monitor her kids' pages. (They are in high school.) So far there have been no problems, but I think when kids know that an adult is watching what they post, they stay in line. Of course you have to become very adept with initials, iykwim.

[queenmama]

Twitter is just as bad, if not worse. It's immediate. You can direct message a bunch of people, ganging up on one, and include mean hashtags (#slut for example). And most parents/administrators aren't on twitter, they'll never see it. Don't make the mistake of thinking twitter is better.

I completely agree. You can block people from FB so I don't understand the bullying element (I don't doubt that it happens, I just think it's easier to eliminate). Anyone can tag anyone on Twitter and the world will see the post.

Lara

[infomama]

you can make your tweets private.

[TwinFoxes]

you can make your tweets private.

But bullies won't. Bullies can write a mean tweet, and send it to the entire class, and hashtag it with your twitter handle and hashtag it with cruel things. Here's what I mean, for those of you who don't tweet:

"Who locked her kids in a closet so she can watch her stories? #twinfoxes #neglectful #imcallingDCFS #nobirthdaypartyinvites4them!"

And that gets sent to my mommy friends (not really!) And when you're hashtagged, you see it. They can also message you directly. And then it gets retweeted. And it only takes 30 seconds...it's not better than FB when it comes to bullying.

You can also make your FB posts private, so that doesn't really matter.

[Gracemom]

My teen nephews have left Facebook for Instagram. They think Facebook is for old people, like me. :applause:

[infomama]

But bullies won't. Bullies can write a mean tweet, and send it to the entire class, and hashtag it with your twitter handle and hashtag it with cruel things. Here's what I mean, for those of you who don't tweet:

"Who locked her kids in a closet so she can watch her stories? #twinfoxes #neglectful #imcallingDCFS #nobirthdaypartyinvites4them!"

And that gets sent to my mommy friends (not really!) And when you're hashtagged, you see it. They can also message you directly. And then it gets retweeted. And it only takes 30 seconds...it's not better than FB when it comes to bullying.

You can also make your FB posts private, so that doesn't really matter.

Yikes!!!

[alexsmommy]

Yikes!!!

Great example twinfoxes.

And what I am seeing from my clients is that if they defend themselves, the bully can accuse them of overreacting. So if I had written twinfoxes example her response could be:

"Who is making up stories becasue she has no irl friends?" #alexsmommy #loser #llivesonbbb #getalife

To which I could respond

"Who can't take a joke?" #whoa #overreaction #nopartyforyou

[hellokitty]

I agree, any type of internet forum or social media is basically an extra way for ppl to bully others. Also, in terms of online bullying, it's not just girls. My nephew discovered by accident in 7th grade, that some 8th graders that he didn't even really know had made a fake facebook page using his name, but the picture on it was mocking. Ppl were posting all sorts of snarky things on it and when my nephew found it, he didn't really know what to think and they made it sound like it was just a joke. BIL saw it, called the principal (expensive private school), the 8th graders were told to remove the page, BUT neither the 8th graders, nor their parents ever apologized to my nephew or to bil/sil for their sons bullying another kid. 8th grade has been ok with nephew, b/c the bullies had moved onto high school. Next yr will be interesting, IDK if he will be going to the same high school as the bullies or not, but if he does, I hope that they do not try to mess with him again. They actually confronted him after BIL called the principal and told my nephew that he got them into trouble, even though we all know that they were the ones who got themselves into trouble. I'm really irritated that the school did not make the boys apologize and I am annoyed that the parents did not make their boys apologize. If I found out my kids had done something like that, I would have marched them over to the other kid's house and made them apologize face to face, in front of the other kid's parents and if my kid was the one being bullied, I would expect the same!

[Still-in-Shock]

It's gotten to the point where I want to wire my child for sound as he/she arrives.

[Cuckoomamma]

My almost 12 yo isn't part of any social networking, but she's homeschooled. Her peers at activities are beginning to get involved with it. The moms say that the schools tweet school info and that the parents are very much encouraged to get a twitter account to stay abreast of everything, nevermind the kids.

[TwinFoxes]

Great example twinfoxes.

And what I am seeing from my clients is that if they defend themselves, the bully can accuse them of overreacting. So if I had written twinfoxes example her response could be:

"Who is making up stories becasue she has no irl friends?" #alexsmommy #loser #llivesonbbb #getalife

To which I could respond

"Who can't take a joke?" #whoa #overreaction #nopartyforyou

Exactly. It can escalate rapidly with tit for tat, and friends jumping in. And you don't need a smart phone to tweet, you can do it from a regular computer, so people who think their kids are safe because they don't have smart phones, think again.

Anyway, social media is a whole new frontier. I consider myself pretty in the know, but a couple of months ago a friend's DD told me about snapchat...I'd never heard of it! I think it's important to keep up now, so when DDs hit teenager years I'm not completely clueless.