At what age do you intervene?

[gummibear]

With other people's children, in a public place?

Background: We were waiting in line for a ride at a carnival-type festival over the weekend. A kid approached us to ask if we were in line. DS tried to talk/play with him, but he clearly wasn't interested, so I pulled DS back. Said kid then tried to talk to me, repeatedly - you all know those really annoying kids you don't want to engage? yeah that kid - until I got a bit exasperated and asked him "Where are your parents???" He then looked downwards, said he'd been dropped off, and that they'd pick him up after the rides were over. As I stared in disbelief, he just shrugged and said sadly, dramatically, "it's ok" - it was a polished reaction. Annoying or not, in retrospect, I am positively kicking myself for not taking him to the police, or directing the police to him. This was a small but busy festival in a small but heavily populated town in the middle of a metropolitan area, if that matters. It 'feels' small but really isn't.

Just a week ago, we were leaving a Sports Authority and there were two children playing by the 2 automatic doors. We were leaving when the younger one (about 4yo maybe) wandered out of the 2d door to the sidewalk, so I told him to go inside to his mommy. He did, but I half expected some parent to jump out at me for talking to his or her kid...

[Ceepa]

FWIW, I've always been the person who talks to other people's children if there is an issue of safety (theirs or my DC's). I don't yell or act scary ;) but I'd rather have a parent angry with me for addressing their child than have someone get hurt.

I feel bad for that kid at the festival getting dropped off by his parents.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

how old was the kid? in any case, that makes me so sad for the poor kid...sounds like his parents are clearly neglecting him and he feels ashamed about it. i can't imagine dropping a kid off by himself at a carnival! maybe if the kid was 11 or 12 and was with friends/sibling, but otherwise, i can't imagine.

anyway, depending on the age not sure i would have thought to go to the police or not...under 6 probably i would have said something. otherwise i'd like to say that in that situation i'd let the kid hang with us while we were there (as long as he was nice to my DC) bc i'd just feel so bad for the kid and figured he'd need some sort of family to be with. I know my mother has done similar things in the past when were kids.....growing up i had a number of neighbors, classmates, friends who parents basically dropped them off wherever and the kid would spend half the day with us. I remember my mom mentioning how she couldn't believe so and so's mom just dropped the kid off, and how sad/awful that was..as a kid, i totally didn't get it AT ALL (i figured, wouldn't that be cool to be allowed to do whatever and play with another family and their kids, without your mom nagging you about not doing this or that or where you were going) but now that i have my own DC, i totally understand it now, and it makes me so sad for kids that had to deal with it. i totally took for granted having parents who actually cared where i was during the day.

[hillview]

how old was the child at the fair? I guess it depends. If it was a <7 year old I'd go get the police. Older ... well I guess different strokes.

[pinkmomagain]

It depends on where my head is at at the time (rushed, frazzled - probably not going to intervene realistically)...but I do believe it takes a village, and if my kid was in harms way, I'd want someone looking out for her. Age doesn't matter to me....if I pick up my teenager and I see a classmate waiting around by her/himself, I always ask my child to ask the other child if they need a ride home. I'd want another parent to do the same for my kid.

[TwinFoxes]

Well, the second situation seems like a no brainer. If a parent yelled at me for that, eh, they've got issues.

The first situation, it would really depend on how old the kid was. I also would have questioned him more before talking to the cops. Like, when he said "dropped off" he could have meant left him in the rides section while they were looking at the vendor booths. I can totally see some kids making up an "I'm all aloooone" story just because some kids are goofy/dramatic/just kids.

[gummibear]

DH and I think the kid was about 8 or 9.

I did feel bad for the kid, but it only kicked in after my irritation / annoyance faded - by that time the kid was long gone. It didn't occur to me to have the kid come with us because he wasn't very nice to my DS. I think that's where my irritation started, as I'm fairly protective of DS. He had that 'you're just a little kid, don't bother me' attitude towards DS. DS takes his social cues from us and is very friendly; he will talk to anyone we talk to. So I was trying to ignore him so that DS would leave him alone. And then the kid wouldn't leave me alone.

And then on the drive home, I couldn't stop thinking about the kid, and thinking I should have contacted the police or done something.

The 2d situation seems like a no-brainer, compared to where I grew up & how I was raised, but around here people are very hands-off-ish. I sometimes wish we lived in a more village-friendly environment - a little more 'southern', I would say. =D