Son's 5th Grade Dance Update, and Bullying by Teacher

[California]

To follow up on an earlier thread- my son's proposal for a 5th grade dance at their school was turned down: http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=457693&highlight=grade+dance

Well, he got his dance! And it was so much better than it would have been at the school. A friend on the PTO heard about our request and offered to host the event at her house. She went above and beyond- surprised me by buying all the food and drinks, recruited a friend with DJ equipment, and other parents pitched in too. HUGE turn out- it was packed. The students absolutely loved it. We kept hearing, "This is the best party ever!"

OK, but get this- the day of the event the teacher who opposed the dance called my son and a friend over and told them that the dance was stupid and that DS's friend was a "pathetic" dancer. There is more along those lines. She said something about them TPing her house (two ten year olds? How in the world would they get to her house?) DS's friend burst into tears.

Before the dance when DS came home I asked him to write it down and not tell me (because I knew it would upset me), and we'd just push it to the side and go enjoy the dance. This morning I read his note. WTF?? Seriously?? This is the role modeling she's giving the kids? Fortunately she didn't ruin anything for anyone. DS is SO happy, and all the kids have a very special memory of celebrating the end of their elementary years together. I'm really, really looking forward to sending a slideshow of the dance to ALL the 5th grade teachers.

[baymom]

That is unbelievable!! What the heck is her problem?!! Honestly, I think that teacher needs to be reported to the principal--completely unexceptable! Can you tell I'm so mad for your DS's friend? Poor kid!

[crl]

To follow up on an earlier thread- my son's proposal for a 5th grade dance at their school was turned down: http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=457693&highlight=grade+dance

Well, he got his dance! And it was so much better than it would have been at the school. A friend on the PTO heard about our request and offered to host the event at her house. She went above and beyond- surprised me by buying all the food and drinks, recruited a friend with DJ equipment, and other parents pitched in too. HUGE turn out- it was packed. The students absolutely loved it. We kept hearing, "This is the best party ever!"

OK, but get this- the day of the event the teacher who opposed the dance called my son and a friend over and told them that the dance was stupid and that DS's friend was a "pathetic" dancer. There is more along those lines. She said something about them TPing her house (two ten year olds? How in the world would they get to her house?) DS's friend burst into tears.

Before the dance when DS came home I asked him to write it down and not tell me (because I knew it would upset me), and we'd just push it to the side and go enjoy the dance. This morning I read his note. WTF?? Seriously?? This is the role modeling she's giving the kids? Fortunately she didn't ruin anything for anyone. DS is SO happy, and all the kids have a very special memory of celebrating the end of their elementary years together. I'm really, really looking forward to sending a slideshow of the dance to ALL the 5th grade teachers.

How truly wonderful that the dance worked out. And how horrible of that teacher. I hope you give a copy of your son's note to the principal and have a meeting to complain. She should be fired.

Catherine

[PZMommy]

I'm so glad the dance worked out. My school has a special 5th grade dance after lunch near the end of the year. It is always something the kids look forward to.

I can't believe that teacher though! I'd report that to the principal, and I'm not one that runs to the principal for everything.

[Momit]

Fantastic that the dance was such a success. But - I would be livid about what that teacher said. Glad the kids got the last word by having a great party without her support.

[DietCokeLover]

So glad for the kids.

But that teacher's behavior is completely unacceptable! How dare she ridicule a child's dancing ability? Is she a pro? That is so completely immature on her part. I would be contacting the principal, the superintendent and the school board.

[Tondi G]

So glad for the kids.

But that teacher's behavior is completely unacceptable! How dare she ridicule a child's dancing ability? Is she a pro? That is so completely immature on her part. I would be contacting the principal, the superintendent and the school board.

yeah what she said! That teacher needs to be fired!

[TwinFoxes]

:yeahthat: to everyone. I think the teacher is unbalanced. And how awesome for your son and his friend to see their hard work pay off.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

How truly wonderful that the dance worked out. And how horrible of that teacher. I hope you give a copy of your son's note to the principal and have a meeting to complain. She should be fired.

Catherine

:yeahthat:

I'm usually a person who lets things slide but in this case, there is just no excuse for pulling two kids over and insulting them to the point that one of the kids cries. WTF. It sounds like she has serious, deep issues and she is not suitable for being a teacher, period.

[maestramommy]

I didn't see your first thread but congrats on a wonderful dance! I am so shocked though, that a teacher would tell a child a school event was stupid and that he was a pathetic dancer. Who does that??

[AngB]

Haven't you said in a previous thread that this is the teacher's last year? I hope I am remembering right. I would still tell the principal, that's just ridiculous.

I'm glad it all worked out and they had a good time!

[BunnyBee]

So glad the dance went well! But WTF with that teacher? Verbally abusing 10 year olds? Please tell me you're going to be at school Monday am to flip out about that! So, so so wrong!!!

[Globetrotter]

OMG, that teacher is clearly disturbed. Wow. You must report this to the principal.. however, if your district is anything like ours, it will take years of reports and complaints to get rid of her :(

I'm glad the party was a huge success, despite everything!

[curiousgeorge]

So glad the dance worked out--what a great story!

That teacher sucks. I bet she's a poor loser at board games too.

[anamika]

So happy to hear about the dance! Yay!
And what is wrong with the teacher? Insulting a 10 yo's dancing skills - so mature!

[sunshine873]

:yeahthat: to everyone. I think the teacher is unbalanced. And how awesome for your son and his friend to see their hard work pay off.

:yeahthat: Please report the teachers unacceptable behavior to the principal and beyond. If the boys had treated another student that way, it wouldn't be acceptable...why in the world should a teacher get away with it? You're right...she's a bully!

[JustMe]

Glad the dance was fun and it happened!

Boo-hiss to the teacher. I agree. Report her. Hopefully she will be spoken to. Love the idea of sending the slideshow to all the teachers!

[longtallsally05]

:yeahthat: Please report the teachers unacceptable behavior to the principal and beyond. If the boys had treated another student that way, it wouldn't be acceptable...why in the world should a teacher get away with it? You're right...she's a bully!

Yes, this.

[California]

My plan- ask the other child to write down what she recollects the teacher saying- without first hearing anything from me or my DS. That way we will have two separate records documenting the incident. I left a message with the mom of the other child tonight. Definitely want to ask her how she'd like to handle this too.

And I did hear that this teacher was talking about retiring, but now a member of the PTO told me that that is not settled. Which is too bad as that would be an easy handling of this situation!

[boogiemomz]

My plan- ask the other child to write down what she recollects the teacher saying- without first hearing anything from me or my DS. That way we will have two separate records documenting the incident. I left a message with the mom of the other child tonight. Definitely want to ask her how she'd like to handle this too.

And I did hear that this teacher was talking about retiring, but now a member of the PTO told me that that is not settled. Which is too bad as that would be an easy handling of this situation!

Good plan. Also want to echo that it was totally inspired to have your DS write down what happened and push it aside, both for your own sake and his! That teacher needs to just go already. How awful! So sorry she said that to them, but what an awesome memory they will have now! So awesome that it worked out so perfectly, except Ms. Crazy trying to rain on everybody's parade.

[hellokitty]

I'm happy that the dance happened and went well. I'm completely stunned though that the retiring teacher made such a big stink over an after school activity and then went as far as to verbally bully your son and his friend! Wtf? Is she going senile? That's completely inappropriate on her part, I just find her behavior so callous and I'm sorry your son had to put up with her crappy attitude, but I'm glad he rose above it.

[California]

OK: Talked to the parent of the other kid, and am not sure where to go with this. The other kid (we'll call her Jane) was sobbing and extremely upset on Friday. She said that the teacher accused them of planning to TP her house. My friend immediately went to the teacher, who downplayed everything. The teacher said she had heard a rumor that after the party, the kids were going to TP her house. My friend asked her if she really thought the kids were going to do that. The teacher replied she "figured parents wouldn't go for that" but she wanted to make sure the kids "can't think they are going to do something." My friend left with her daughter. It took a very long time for Jane to calm down but she did, they came to the party and had a wonderful time. Since then the dance is all her daughter has talked about, so she (my friend) doesn't want to ask her about the teacher again and risk upsetting her again.

She did suggest that I (since I do want to approach the teacher) could simply say, "My son was very concerned about the words he heard used towards his friend."

I'm thinking I may ask the principal and the teacher to meet with me and give them written notice that this teacher is not to talk to my child again without me being present- not on the playground, not before or after school. No conversation whatsoever.

Any other ideas?

[TwinFoxes]

The teacher said she had heard a rumor that after the party, the kids were going to TP her house.


Heard from whom? The voices in her head? I don't have much advice, I don't know how realistic it is to think the principal will say she can't talk to your DS. I do think the principal should definitely be made aware. Perhaps her retirement could be not-so voluntary.

[Globetrotter]

I wish you luck. We are in CA. In our old school there was a teacher who used to yell at the students and parents, threatening them. On top of that she did nothing for the kids - literally nothing - those kids had to get tutoring outside of school, but we live in an area where the parents will do anything in their power to make sure the kids are ready for STAR testing, etc... She was clearly incompetent and mentally unstable but it took years of documentation to finally overcome union protection and get rid of her, though she was near retirement age.

In your case, I would make sure the principal is aware and take it higher if you need to.