Tell me about your 3rd child!

[AbbysMom]

I always thought a third child was off the table for us but now it seems to be a possibility. I know people say the transition from 2 to 3 is tough because you are now outnumbered but I am wanting to hear about your third child's temperament and how easily they fit into your family.

I don't know many thirds IRL who are laid back, calm, quiet kids. Do they exist?

[lil_acorn]

I always thought that 3rd kids were laid back and easy because they had to be! They are always being carted around to their older siblings activities.

I have 3 kids and as a baby, DS3 was a breeze! He was such a good baby - he was my only one that slept through the night (and still does). However, he's hit the terrible twos at 2.5 now and everything is "i do it myself" so we need to add 20 minutes to everything. We also had a 3 month spell where he would cry at everything but thankfully that has slowed down a bit to more normal levels. Generally speaking, he's a pretty fun kid to hang out with, not completely laid back but not a hyper wild child like my 2nd :-)

My older kids ADORE him and we can't imagine our life without him!

[ahisma]

I don't know many thirds IRL who are laid back, calm, quiet kids. Do they exist?

Ha! Not here. I don't think it has anything to do with him being #3, it's just how he is. I think that you just have to be prepared to take a child as they come. If you're not up for that, probably a good sign that your family is complete.

[maestramommy]

Our 3rd child sent us over the edge. I'm sure one day she'll Hilary Clinton or something, but right now she is the reason I keep falling off the weight loss wagon and drinking more at dinner. So um, no, she's not quiet. That would be DD1.

She's a real hoot though!

[swissair81]

My 3rd is probably my quietest. He's fanciful, imaginative, and a little bit of a space cadet. He can sit for hours playing with lego or his animal figurines. None of my girls are like that- not 4 or 5 either. Both my youngest girls are all into the 'just because I'm younger than you, doesn't mean I'm not going to catch up' thing. My baby started slithering around the floor at 5 months.

[Mikey0709]

Same here - - #3 is a piece of work! He is a ninja, daredevil, acrobat... and i can go on and on. #1 and #2 were a piece of cake compared to #3... which is killing me cause i'm too old for this! He keeps me on my toes, but i guess that's a good thing. He learns EVERYTHING from the older siblings - way advanced of them at the same age.

[Ceepa]

I don't know many thirds IRL who are laid back, calm, quiet kids. Do they exist?

To look at my friends and family members I'd have to say, NO. :hysterical:

Seriously, personality and temperament are going to decide what kind of child you have as an individual. BUT the way interpersonal dynamics work within the family is what lends credence to certain birth order theories, IMO. Those #3, #4 and #5s grow up seeing hubbub as a way of life and they work a little harder to carve out a place in the family structure. So, no, I have never met a #3 who is reserved around family members. Though they can be shy outside of the home.

DH and I often groan about his sister, a textbook #3 baby of the family even as a grown woman! :p

[mom3boys]

I found the transition from 2 to 3 easier than 1 to 2, but I think that was mainly due to spacing in ages (DS1 and 2 are 20 months apart, DS2 and 3 are 3 years apart).

DS3 is almost 2 now, and he was my easiest baby by far. He almost always sleeps through the night, about 11:5 hours straight, and has been doing that for a long time (7-8 months? and when he woke up previous to that he would just nurse and go back to sleep). When I put him down for a nap, he never complains, just goes to sleep. He can be a little whiny and is getting into everything, but that's just the age. Of course we have terrible 2's and 3's ahead of us, so we shall see.

The only difficulty is (a good thing and bad thing) he does not sleep in a stroller and hardly ever in a car seat. I don't think those types of naps are really recuperative anyway, but, since my other kids are in schools/activities, it can be hard to schedule things around his nap. Easier now that he is down to one nap.

DS1 adores him and has since he was born. DS2 was initially not very happy to have him around and getting all the attention, but he is better with him now that DS3 is starting to be a playmate rather than just "the baby".

ETA: My sister was the 3rd kid. By all accounts an easy baby. A very difficult adolescent and adult!!

[hellokitty]

Do not buy into the myth that the 3rd one is a sweet angel. EVERYONE told me #3 would be a total sweetheart. OMG, he has given me more white hairs than my older two combined. This kid is CRAAAAAAAZY! Stubborn, never ever runs out of energy, constantly wants to be entertained, almost age 4 and still cannot figure out how to keep himself busy, he has this screech, hurts me all the time (jumps on he, steps on my knee and feet, my knee is already messed up and he has made it worse, etc.) moody and a major daredevil. He can also be very loving and sweet, but seems to swing from one extreme to the other never being just a neutral type of mood. So, I find him difficult to navigate. I love him, but he wears me out. When he was a baby, I will say that the transition from 2-3 kids was easier than 1-2 kids for me, BUT that's b/c the age gap btwn my older two was 18 mo, while the age gap btwn 2-3 was 4 yrs. I highly recommend the larger age gap for your own sanity. The 18 mo age gap was a stupid move on our part.

[sarahsthreads]

Well, mine isn't here yet, but if the in utero kicking is any indication, he's not going to be a laid back, calm baby. ;)

But my youngest brother (the third) is and always has been the sweetest, coolest guy. Mischievous, no doubt, but totally low maintenance as a kid. I think birth order has little to do with it, I'd say personality and age spacing (he and I are more than 9 years apart) are probably bigger factors. Maybe birth order a little bit, but only because by then my parents had pretty much gotten to the "eh, whatever doesn't kill him" stage and didn't hover as much or worry about the little (or even mostly the not-so-little) things.

Sarah :)

[JBaxter]

My 3rd was the BEST sleeper. By 8 weeks he was doing 6+ hrs at a stretch. I have 4 and they are all very different but much the same. I can say from 18- to 4 was a prickly time but after that he's been a great kid for the most part

[kdeunc]

My 3rd is also the only girl. She has been a super easy kid. Delightful, charming, and generally compliant. My boys are exactly 2 years apart and DD is 3.5 years younger than DS2 so spacing may play a role or gender. She is very opinionated however which may cause me to drink heavily during her teen years! ;) But the preschool years have been great.

[scrooks]

Another in utero #3 here... He is kicking more and more everyday...I'm not sure what this means for us upon his arrival. I have heard people on both sides of the fence... #3 is an angel or #3 is the wildest yet. I think its so variable! I am hoping spacing will help me out - dd and ds#1 are 2 years and 2 months apart (tough!) and ds1 and ds2 should be 3 years and 10 months apart ... Fingers crossed ... Hopefully better!

[emily]

Yes, we are outnumbered but I've found transition from 2 to 3 much easier than 1 to 2 (so, so hard!). Our oldest just turned 5 to give you an idea of our spacing. It's not easy but we manage. #3 definitely exhibits behavior that our first two did not. He gets into EVERYTHING! But I think this is just because he is exposed to so much more with older siblings around. He is also more attached to me than our first two were so he's been more physically demanding.

I agree with PP that said third child is laid back b/c he has to be. I feel like lots of times, DC3 is on survival mode with the older two around.

[brittone2]

From birth to age 1, DS2 was very mellow.

As a toddler and preschooler, he has been more of a handful than his brother and sister for sure.

Overall I found the transition from 1-2 much more difficult. Life with 3, especially since they are all home FT, can be challenging! I generally have people requesting things, needing things, etc. non stop all day long. It is easing up a bit currently, but from say 18 months to age 3, it was particularly hard!

In some ways things would be easier I think with our spacing if my older two were in school (we HS). However, then life would be complicated by needing to disrupt DS2's schedule to shuffle the older two kids around.

He's getting to be more fun again right now though, which is very helpful. But laid back..:hysterical: ....no.

IME I think it is tougher to be as hands on, patient, and consistent with a third many times (eta: again though, that may be complicated by the fact I have all three with me full time due to HSing) Babyhood with him was a bit easier for me personally. The challenges of being hands on, patient, intervening as consistently as I did with the older two may have shaped his personality a bit too.

He also wants to do big kid stuff all of the time, and with a 9 and 6 year old sister, his desires often overshadow his ability to do those things safely! He wants to play nerf guns with the big kids in the neighborhood, for example. The younger two played with small, choking hazard toys much earlier than DS1 did. That kind of thing.

[megs4413]

I'm cooking #3 right now and y'all are terrifying me.

[MommyAllison]

Our hardest transition was 0-1 kid, then 1-2 - adding DD2 was a really natural transition. Our older two never showed any jealousy, and she was a mellow newborn who adored DH just as much as me, so she was easy to pass off to him. Slept easily, ate easily, had plenty of entertainment from her siblings ;) so she was pretty content during the day. She is 18 months now, and is the classic charming baby of the family. DD1 and DS adore & spoil her, she knows she is cute, and she's got a good sense of humor. She is a snuggler and a sweetheart. Her personality is actually very similar to DS' so far.

The only way the transition to 3 kids has been really hard is that I have not been able to keep up with everything for any length of time - I'm always dropping one ball or another. If we didn't homeschool, I think that would be easier - we'll see, as summer break starts in a few weeks for us.

[Philly Mom]

I am a third child and my two closest friends are third children. Third children can be more opinionated because they don't have to fight the battles the older children fight so they can focus more on what they want. That said, we are also flexible (I spent most of my childhood sitting in sweaty gyms watching my brothers) and easy in that sense. I think third children get to be "easy" for lots of people (once past the baby stage) because you have BTDT. It is not so scary and you have already fought battles and changed your priorities. The bigger gap between the first two and third helps but with having any number of kids it is a risk who is going to come out. But yes, third children will fight perceived injustices (why do my brothers get to go to the hockey game and I am not included, why do my brothers get to stay up later) and yes with three children there is always an odd man out. Also, I think sometimes parents (not mine) treat third children like they treated earlier children without looking at who the child is as an individual. Finally, in all honesty, despite my opinionated self (which my parents loved anyway), I complete my family for my parents and brothers. I think their lives would be very different without me and not as fulfilled.

[Simon]

Okay, I'll bite. Our #3 is a pretty happy-go-lucky kid. Most of the time he is smiling, laughing, and content to go with the flow. He doesn't love his car seat but is much happier than Ds1 ever was at his age. He is a little more dramatic (throwing self to ground with tears) when he is frustrated, but I think he picked that up observing another child we know and it resolves pretty fast. Most of the time he is helpful, follows directions as well as any 16 mo, and loves his big brothers. He shares well enough (again, for his age), takes turns with toys, and can be distracted most of the time.

I am sure we'll hit bumps in the road later on, but so far he hasn't been nearly as difficult as Ds1 who took the cake ages 0-2 yo and mellowed out around 3 yo. I can see that Dc#3 might be more stubborn (but then again he has to be at times to get what he wants/needs from busy parents) and he is more daring, although I also think that's temperament.

So far 0-1 was hardest and 1-2 then 2-3 were about the same. Neither was too frightening. I think a lot of it depends on how difficult your other children are/were/have been. Our first was incredible difficult as a baby/young toddler so he really set the bar high.

[klwa]

I'm a third, so I'm a little biased, I guess. :) DD2 is the easiest going of my three so far. Travels a lot better than the other two did at the same age.

[Piglet]

Our 3rd is awesome! So are the other 2 obviously ;) but there is something so spunky about DD. DS1 is studious, DS2 is artistic and DD is a hoot. I can't even describe her in any other ways - she is her own person, not at all like her brothers and she never ceases to amaze me in so many different way.

As a mom, I felt so much more prepared for #3 and it was an easy transition even though probably DD was the hardest baby and DS1 was the easiest. I always joke that I never want to be a 1st time mom again, LOL.

[AngelaS]

My third is a sweetheart too. Love that child! :)

[emily_gracesmama]

Our third is a boy and so far he's been super easy. Very pleasant cries pretty much only when hungry and he's very smiley! But the jump from 2 to 3 has not been easy. It's way more work and just when I'd be getting my day done with the girls I have another one to tend to. Trying to help make a butterfly for school while cooking dinner and holding the baby who was tired was less than fun last night. I feel like there is no down time now and we are outnumbered so getting a break is way more work to coordinate. The grand parents aren't able to handle all 3 t once so we will need to get a babysitter to get out together it seems. If you are prepared for it being never ending I think you will be ok.

[RedSuedeShoes]

Well, my 3rd just about did me in. And he still may, who knows? He just turned 4. Never will I describe him as laid back or calm. He is super energetic, intense and go-go-go all the time.

I, on the other hand, am also a 3rd and despite the fact that I was her most difficult birth (she was induced), my mom says I was her calmest, easiest baby (out of 4). I have always been pretty calm and quiet.

It is so true that you just take what you get! When I got used to the idea of being pregnant with a 3rd, I thought I was OK with it as long as it was a quiet, calm girl to play with my middle (who is a generally quiet, calm girl) - ha! Boy, did we get the complete opposite of that! And there are pros and cons to each possible scenario.

[maiaann]

My third is my easiest. She's mellow, laid back, & incredibly bright. I hardly remember her infant years, because she was almost an "accessory", going everywhere we went & doing whatever we did. I am one of three, and my baby brother was a handful! You never know what you're going to get. My middle child is the hardest with regards to temperament.

[daisymommy]

Honestly, my third child has been my easiest! Going from 2 to 3 was a piece of cake. All the other baby transitions were harder. I knew how to juggle more than one child, I was confident in my mothering by then, and he just slid right in to our family no problem. On top of that he is the most easy, fun, sweet, snugly little teddy bear of a boy :)

Now going from 3 to 4 about killed me! But I love my sweet pea of a baby girl more than the world, so ill keep her too :)


Sent from my iPad

[Sweetsunshine]

I wasn't sure what to expect with my third since he was a boy. But he is three now and has always been pretty laid back and calm. When we're out and about people are always telling me how quiet he is. I think the best part of number three is how relaxed I was about having a baby. Now I understand why my mom was so easygoing about everything my little brother did growing up!

[Melaine]

So far DS has been a bit of a contradiction. First of, we've had a lot of health issues that have made things much more challenging than I had hoped. Secondly, he is clearly very strong willed. On the other hand, he is sweet as pie, very cuddly, and has a much more outgoing personality than the girls which for us is a huge relief since the girls were/are so quiet/sensitive and not so easy emotionally. Of course, having a third has been a cake walk compared to having preemie twins so my experiences are kind of not helpful.

What I will say is that I am so thankful we went for it, I love the big gap of 5 years (the girls are SUCH a huge help) and I love having a boy along with my sweet girls. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

[AngB]

My brother is a third, he's only 13 months younger than my sister (and I was 23 months older than her), but he was a 29 weeker and had a couple months in the NICU though no health problems after that. He is definitely the mellowest out of all of us, even now. He also is by far the funniest too and most people think he's really quiet. It's not so much that he's quiet, he's just really really good at timing what he says and when he says it, I guess he picked that up from growing up with two older sisters that were definitely NOT quiet ever.