Neighbor issue - WWYD

[HonoluluMom]

My neighbors often have their visiting parents, family, friends, etc. park in an area that makes it more difficult for me to get in and out of my garage. Well, it irritates the he!l out of me because it's like getting into/out of a fairly tight parallel parking stall. They've been doing it for several years and it's against HOA rules for them to park there.

Neighbor's mother asked me a year or two ago if it's okay and being non-confrontational, I said "well, it's okay with me," hoping she'd get the hint that some people don't like it. Hint not taken.

Today, I got home and the neighbors had two huge trucks totally blocking my garage. I gave my horn a tap and several of the friends just looked at me. Neighbor no where to be seen. Finally, after about 5 minutes a friend came out and I asked him to move both trucks. 5 minutes later, friend finds the key and just moves one of the trucks. I have to squeeze into my garage. By this time, I'm fuming.

I went to the neighbor and said, sorry, but can you tell your friends to move the trucks since I need to get in and out of my garage. Only one of the trucks was moved. :32:

Overall, other than this parking issue, the neighbors are very nice. I don't know how to approach this parking issue though - talk to them (what do I say after it's been going on for years and I've been silent) or complain to the HOA?

[BunnyBee]

Talk to them first.

[BunnyBee]

Double post. Sorry!

[crayonblue]

You said it was OK with you so it is going to look really, really bad if you go to the HOA about the issue. Talk to them directly.

[crl]

You said it was OK with you so it is going to look really, really bad if you go to the HOA about the issue. Talk to them directly.

:yeahthat:

I think what you say is that as time has gone on, it has gotten to be annoying that it is unnecessarily difficult to park your car and would they please park so as not to cause that problem for you anymore.

Catherine

[Momit]

We had a similar problem with our neighbor - they have a finished room over their garage that they rent out. Their renter always parked in a spot that made it difficult for us to get out of our driveway. Per the HOA she was not allowed to park there. We talked to the owners of the house and they mentioned it to her, and it would be better for a couple of days and then she did it again. Finally the HOA cited her (not because we complained, just a random check) she never did it again. I was honestly glad the HOA took care of it but I didn't have to feel like I ratted her out. If you talk to them and it continues, then I would not feel bad bringing it to the attention of the HOA.

[ShanaMama]

I am also anti-confrontational so I get why you answered the way you did. But you basically told them it was fine. And now it sounds like they're taking advantage. You need to talk to them & explain that it bothers you & they should find another place to park. Not an inch away, somewhere else entirely.

[waitingforgrace]

I actually wouldn't talk to them again, I'd complain to the HOA. If you've asked them to move the cars and they aren't willing to do it then I see no reason not to complain. You don't have to tell the HOA it annoys you, just that they park there often and it's against the rules would they please handle it.

[crl]

I actually wouldn't talk to them again, I'd complain to the HOA. If you've asked them to move the cars and they aren't willing to do it then I see no reason not to complain. You don't have to tell the HOA it annoys you, just that they park there often and it's against the rules would they please handle it.

As I read it she asked them once to move trucks that were in the way. She has not asked them to address the ongoing situation and actually told their mom that it was okay with her.

Catherine

[TwinFoxes]

:yeahthat:

I think what you say is that as time has gone on, it has gotten to be annoying that it is unnecessarily difficult to park your car and would they please park so as not to cause that problem for you anymore.

Catherine

:yeahthat: This why I think being "non-confrontational" often turns things into a bigger hassle. I think you need to ask them at least once to address the ongoing problem before telling the HOA. Otherwise you'll basically be going back on your word.

[tg_canada]

I actually wouldn't talk to them again, I'd complain to the HOA. If you've asked them to move the cars and they aren't willing to do it then I see no reason not to complain. You don't have to tell the HOA it annoys you, just that they park there often and it's against the rules would they please handle it.

I agree. I don't think it matters of she ever said it was okay. One person does not have authority over HOA parking rules (or do they? I confess to not having dealt with an HOA but where I live you can't override city parking laws and isn't this similar?). It could be anyone complaining...or not...one shouldn't expect to park illegally and then be annoyed with other people because they took it upon themselves to park illegally with "permission" of one non-HOA person...no one should need to complain. If the HOA notices on their own or by a complaint, then the people breaking the rules will have to deal.

They shouldn't have asked the OP in the first place about breaking the rules. And OP, next time some one asks and you feel put on the spot, say you have no authority to make those decisions and they should ask the HOA.

[TwinFoxes]

I agree. I don't think it matters of she ever said it was okay. One person does not have authority over HOA parking rules (or do they? I confess to not having dealt with an HOA but where I live you can't override city parking laws and isn't this similar?). It could be anyone complaining...or not...one shouldn't expect to park illegally and then be annoyed with other people because they took it upon themselves to park illegally with "permission" of one non-HOA person...no one should need to complain.

I think you are giving HOAs too much credit. They're just neighborhood folks, some of whom certainly aren't above saying "btw, your neighbor complained about your parking, we have to cite you". That's why I think a talk with the neighbor is in order. She has to live there, and if the neighbor finds out OP complained without approaching her first it could result in some bad blood. No one wants to start a feud.

I do agree they shouldn't have asked her in the first place.

[Tondi G]

If neighbors Mom asked you a year or 2 ago then it has been a long time. You could also consider it that she asked you the one time and you said it wasn't a problem for you THAT ONE TIME. It is a problem for you now. I would attempt to talk to them when they don't have people over ... so it's not like you are caught up in the moment and just annoyed at someone. Just tell it the same way you told us. It wasn't an issue at first but you've found that when someone is parked there it really makes it much more difficult for you to get into and out of your parking space. Point out that people are not supposed to be parked there anyways per HOA rules and you would appreciate if their guests could find another place to park in the future.

If they continue to park there then complain to the HOA

[Sweetum]

I've read the replies and feel everyone here has a point. How about approaching them one more time and then letting HOA know? From the sound of it, it is not going to get resolved by you speaking with them another time, confrontational or not. IMO you don't even have to say you were ok at one time but not now. if they bring it up, you can say, well, not anymore and that's why I am here. Also, be sure you don't tell them that you will complain to HOA since that might sound really threatening which may be unnecessary. And when you approach HOA, do make it a point to say that you would like to remain anonymous. Of course, your neighbors would know since you already spoke with them, but you would have given them enough time to change their ways before going to HOA. I hope your HOA folks have the ability to be heavy weights when it comes to this sort of communication and are sticklers for rules which will then show in their communication.

[tg_canada]

I think you are giving HOAs too much credit. They're just neighborhood folks, some of whom certainly aren't above saying "btw, your neighbor complained about your parking, we have to cite you". That's why I think a talk with the neighbor is in order. She has to live there, and if the neighbor finds out OP complained without approaching her first it could result in some bad blood. No one wants to start a feud.

I do agree they shouldn't have asked her in the first place.

Okay, I thought an HOA made bylaws for the area that were enforceable and ticketable. I didn't realize they were just a group of people who made rules like a condo association or that they would rat out who reported an issue. Makes it hard to report problems if that's the case.

OP, do your city bylaws apply in your area still? Are the neighbours breaking any of those? Parking too close to a driveway or something and your city parking officials could just come take care of it?

[Snow mom]

Overall, other than this parking issue, the neighbors are very nice. I don't know how to approach this parking issue though - talk to them (what do I say after it's been going on for years and I've been silent) or complain to the HOA?

Good neighbors that are nice and you can approach are worth their weight in gold. I wouldn't ruin this relationship by complaining to the HOA before giving them a chance to address your complaint. You really should go over when there is no one parked there and let the neighbor know that their visitors parking in x location is a problem for you getting in and out of your garage. No need to bring up anything additional about what you said in the past or this particular truck incident. As far as neighbor issues go this seems like such an easy one to resolve and it sounds like the neighbor really hasn't been directly told that people parking in that location is never okay with you.

[squimp]

In our neighborhood the HOA did not wield a lot of power. It is probably more of a city issue if someone is repeatedly blocking your driveway, and I wouldn't want to go there unless absolutely necessary. I would go over when they don't have guests and let them know that folks should not be blocking your driveway, even partially. It has become really difficult, and it doesn't matter what you said a few years ago. Talk to your neighbor. Actually I would ask my husband to do it because he is the sort of person who is very convincing.

[elektra]

Good neighbors that are nice and you can approach are worth their weight in gold. I wouldn't ruin this relationship by complaining to the HOA before giving them a chance to address your complaint. You really should go over when there is no one parked there and let the neighbor know that their visitors parking in x location is a problem for you getting in and out of your garage. No need to bring up anything additional about what you said in the past or this particular truck incident. As far as neighbor issues go this seems like such an easy one to resolve and it sounds like the neighbor really hasn't been directly told that people parking in that location is never okay with you.

Definitely agree with this. I think you should go over and start the conversation with thanking them for moving the truck this latest time, and then just let them know that while you are appreciative, they really cannot be blocking you any longer moving forward. It is a real hassle for you. You have let it slide because you wanted to be accommodating, even though it's officially against the rules. But now it just isn't working out and something has to change.
Can you offer a suggestion about what your friends do? Like, "hey I know that this spot right over here has worked for my friends when they visit."

Please do not go straight to the HOA! It sounds like they are reasonable people, just not thinking about how much they are impacting you.

[boogiemom]

In my neighborhood, if you call the HOA their first question is whether you have addressed the issue with the offending neighbor in person. If you have not attempted to resolve directly, they will not do it for you. Their position is that they are all volunteers and are too busy in their own lives to be the constant go-between for intelligent, capable adults.

[indigo99]

Our by-laws were written when our subdivision was built. People in the neighborhood take turns being on the board each year (or avoiding meetings so that we can avoid being on the board). If there's a problem then you can bet the HOA person will just go over and be like, "hey, your neighbor said XYZ so you really need to stop that".

I agree with pp that having said one time to someone's mother that it didn't bother you does NOT mean that they could do it all the time indefinitely. Also, the mother may have just had better manners and thought to ask, but that doesn't mean that the actual neighbors even considered it. The mother may not have told them that she even spoke to you about it.

[BabyBearsMom]

:yeahthat: This why I think being "non-confrontational" often turns things into a bigger hassle. I think you need to ask them at least once to address the ongoing problem before telling the HOA. Otherwise you'll basically be going back on your word.

Agree. I would just say "I don't mean to be a pain, but could you please ask your guests to not park so they are blocking my garage? It makes it really difficult for me to get in and out and I'm worried I might accidentally ding one of their cars."

[HonoluluMom]

Thanks everyone!

I agree that great neighbors are worth their weight in gold and they're very nice (just a few days ago they dropped off some cookies).

I also agree that I should have put a stop to it when the mother asked as it has been causing me unnecessary irritation.

BabyBearsMom, thanks for the suggestion on what to say - like the part about the dings. When I work up the courage, I'll try to mention it to them.

As far as our HOA, it's hit or miss as far as enforcement. I've heard them citing people for unsightly yards, but I've never heard them citing people for parking.