Anyone else not feeling inspired with names?

[TxCat]

Munchkin 2.0/DD2 is arriving in less than 8 weeks and I'm still feeling blah on names.

The first time around, it felt so much more exciting, and we had a few names we were excited about. I still love DD's name, but reality has also set in, in the sense of familial issues it drudged up - no one on my side of the family really likes it, it has much more of a family tie to DH's side, etc.

Anyways, I think some of the issues that came up with DD1's name are subconsciously making it really hard for me to name DD2. I shouldn't care what either family thinks, and in a way I don't (definitely not going to pick a name to purposely please either side), but I'm also not looking forward to getting blowback for years/months about it either (the way it has been with DD1). I feel bad that I'm not more excited/motivated about naming this new baby. And, this is more of a BP, but DH's parents constantly asking about it and passive-aggressively weighing in with various comments is not helping either!

[trickyhop]

So what I learned is so not discuss the names with anyone who will give you negative comments unless its DH. And if in your case that includes the in laws as it did mine tell him not to share, at all! Because of negative comments and DH communication skills neither of my boys had names until they were almost a month old! Yes crazy but my early names were all shot down and it wasn't until the rest of the family mainly the In Laws got desperate for a name that we were able to pick. Plus DH only liked a few so we were in our own little struggle :) so don't worry about it you might end up like me and it will still be okay!

[sarahsthreads]

That sucks that your family has been so unkind about your DD1's name. What do they hope to accomplish by giving you years of grief over it besides hurting your feelings? :hug:

For me, it's less that I'm not feeling inspired and more that DH is not interested in having a discussion about it yet, while I'm throwing ideas at him and already thinking of the baby by my favorite that he's not so sure he wants to use. I'm almost 30 weeks, so we're really probably only 8-9 weeks away too, and I kind of feel like we should at least have a short list by now, kwim?

And the constant "what did you decide on for a name?" "what do you mean you haven't?!?" conversations are definitely getting old. We've never shared a name (if we even really had a firm one picked out) until after the baby arrives, why would this time be any different?

Sarah :)

[marymoo86]

Names are so hard :(

Took us awhile to settle on something but I thought we never would!

[abh5e8]

names are tough! even more so the more dc you have :) with dc#4, we didn't decide on a name until the day before she was born....and then it took me almost a full week to feel like it was the "right" name (and send in the bc application.) its ok to take your time! and i agree, don't discuss options with anyone except dh. that is our firm rule.

[SnuggleBuggles]

We showed up at the birth center with a list of 5 possible names. We just didn't have any strong feelings about names ahead of time. We me ds2, tried the names on him and one was an obvious winner. It has been a perfect name. I'd been stressed about no name going into the birth but it really worked out! So, write down all contenders. The name we chose was actually almost vetoed by me but I knew dh liked it so it stayed on (though I had no intention of using it).

[Zukini]

So sorry that one of the most fun parts of becoming a parent is so marred for you. That's not fair that they burdened you with not liking DD's name even after her birth. It was not their choice, and they needed to respect that and leave it alone.

Given their poor behavior with your first DD, I would avoid the name topic altogether when around the family. If you have close friends who can joyfully and playfully contribute to the pool of names, without any feelings taken, perhaps engage them in the fun, brainstorming process (which it should be!). Collaborate with your DH on your final list of potentials and take them into the delivery room with you to decide when you see your new little one! When you announce her name, perhaps have your DH run interference on both of your behalfs that this is not up for debate so they need to drop it. If a little (tactful) shaming is necessary, then yes, do so. Sometimes our elders have no manners and they think they are entitled to say whatever they want disregarding everyone else's feelings. And that's a shame.

Hugs!! I hope you can re-discover the joy in the process.

[georgiegirl]

We haven't even discussed names. We had such a hard time with DS, and we didn't even agree on a name until one week before my due date. We literally looked at and discussed over 1000 names, and we finally came up with DS's name, which we both love and think is the perfect boy name. However, we feel like nothing will measure up and we already discussed every boy name under the sun. So we are in denial. We want a one syllable boy name that is a real name, but not popular. It can't be a last name first name (because the middle name is my maiden name, so we don't want him having three last names...lol.). Girl names are so much easier for us.

[megs4413]

You know we never had an easy time with names. I LOVE DS' name (because he LOVES it) but DD's name is just OK to me. she's happy with it so whatever. This time we sort of just gave up. DH was dead set he wanted a certain name and I don't even really like it, but I just don't feel motivated to find a name I LOVE. People keep asking me for the name, but even though we "have it picked out" i sort of feel like I'm reserving the right to change it if lightning strikes. I'm hoping maybe I'll see her and just sort of know? IDK. we don't have a middle name at all so we're still only even halfway there...UGH.

HUGS. I think naming is just no fun at all.

[Still-in-Shock]

I absolutely hate discussing baby names with my IL's and with DH's friends. He plays the martyr and complains that he doesn't like any names with the first letter I told him to use. Then everyone tries to help and more than one person has hinted that I am unreasonable.

I finally sat DH down and told him this has to stop. He knew all along that I wanted a baby to name after my father, and that if he thought I would change my mind, that's his problem, not mine. And he at least gets to have a kid that's related to him genetically. No, I was not nice and I did use a little guilt, but tough. If I was pregnant, I would have been worse!

We'll see how he handles things next time, but fortunately, this can only gone on a little while longer.

[queenmama]

We had a unanimously negative reaction to Henry's name when we were pregnant with him so we decided not to discuss names when we were pregnant with DD. People bugged us relentlessly but we didn't even talk about our contenders, really.

We had a boy name ready from the day we found out we were expecting her (of course) but DH didn't really want to talk about girl names, even after the ultrasound. Every time it came up he'd say, "I don't know..." but he never really contributed much. I think the idea of having a girl terrified him so much that he just shut down!

Henry was a big help (the kids are 12 years apart so he gave more input than the typical sibling) but we still hadn't settled on a name when she was born. We didn't fully commit until we were filling out the discharge papers, and even then DH wasn't sure!

I hate that we didn't have that lightning bolt moment, to quote a PP, like we did with Henry's name. I love her name, Henry thinks it's awesome, but DH is just meh.

If you're looking for inspiration, I relied heavily on Nameberry and Baby Name Wizard, especially the former. If you have even a couple of names you're considering, post on the forum for helpful suggestions.

Lara

[AnnieW625]

With DD1 we were pretty certain on her name before she was born, but we had an alternate just in case. Well she looked like an Elisa the minute we saw her so we named her that. DH had chosen that name as soon as I found out I was pregnant. DD1 is named after his maternal grandma who never had any granddaughters.

With DD2 we had the name we chose for her, Lauren, but we had to sit on it for about 12 hours before we finally made a choice. We played the alphabet game as well to see if we liked anything else. DH had vetoed the names I liked Madison, although he recently said he would have named her that:shake: if I had mentioned it then. I think he was living in another world or something. He also denied liking the name Abigail, which I know for sure he told me he liked.

[swissair81]

I actually never had that problem before number 5. We knew all the previous kids' name options by the anatomy scan. With DD4 we went into the hospital with 2 names and we decided on her name about 10 minutes before the medical records person walked in with the birth certificate.

[TxCat]

Thanks all for the commiseration and support. I know it's not the end of the world to not have a name in mind yet, and we do have a list. I just feel slightly guilty that I'm so ambivalent about naming new DD at this point. Hopefully once we "meet" her I'll feel more inspired!

[buddyleebaby]

To be honest, I used all my favorite girl names with DD1 and 2...either as a first or middle. DD3 did not have a name until she was two days old. But it doesn't mean it's any less perfect for her, or that she is loved any less. My life is just busier and I didn't have the time or the inclination to obsess.