That's what I get for opening my big mouth

[anonomom]

I posted in the Lounge last week how happy I was to have a Mother's Helper this summer. Of course, the next night she texted me at 11:30 pm to say she has some other commitment and can't come this week. I told her we could do a different day/time, but apparently she is busy all day, every day this week (did she not understand when I hired her three weeks ago what I meant when I said I needed her every tuesday/thursday??) She was supposed to have gotten a friend to cover for her, but that friend was supposed to be here 40 minutes ago and hasn't shown up. I don't know this kid (the sub) or how to get in touch with her, so I'm stuck here wondering if I have childcare at all this week.

This is the same thing that happened to me last year, too -- found a high school kid to babysit who promised 2 days a week, then flaked after a week or two because suddenly she was too busy. When I interviewed this year's kid, I asked her specifically if she had any camps/volunteer work/activities that would conflict with her working and she promised me she didn't.

Is this normal now? When I was a mother's helper back in the 90s, it was considered a job. I would never have left "my" family in a lurch unless I was seriously ill. Do kids these days just not take commitments seriously, or have I run into a few duds?

[123LuckyMom]

Oh, I'm so sorry! I don't have any BTDT advice, just sympathy!

[meggie t]

That just stinks. And to answer your question, I do find the "flakiness" the norm these days, unless the sitter really, really needs the money. So irritating.

[TwinFoxes]

unless the sitter really, really needs the money. So irritating.

I think this is key. Kids just seem to have more, more stuff, more money, than when I was a kid. Also, I would have gotten into trouble if I flaked on one of my mom's friends, or even just someone in the neighborhood.

[Pennylane]

Ugh, that stinks. I agree with the PP's . Kids seem to have very little sense of responsibility these days. I would be appalled if my dd ever did this to someone. Hope it somehow works out!

Ann

[dogmom]

Teenagers and undeveloped frontal lobes! Got to love it. Soon, it may be your kids.

Yep, that's why teenagers come cheaper. Some are great, but many are not. Sorry, that sucks.

[bisous]

That stinks. I'm so sorry. It sounded like a great situation.

Incidentally I read an interesting book about teens called "Escaping the Endless Adolescence". It made some really interesting points about teens and working. For example it pointed out that almost all the money that teens make at their jobs goes to paying for things like name brand clothing, entertainment, gadgets, etc. whereas the PARENTS of these same kids rarely have that much expendable income. If you were just working for "toys" it would really change your level of commitment to an employer I'd guess. This is kinda off topic except to say that it SUCKS and it is not totally uncommon or unobserved!

I hope you find the help you need!

[westwoodmom04]

We mostly hire college kids and have much fewer problems with flakiness. I only had one that had that problem.

[truly scrumptious]

Boy, that is annoying!
I've never hired teenagers, but I wonder what would happen if you asked (when hiring) for contact info for their guardian/parent, as an "in case I have trouble getting in touch with you or something." That way, if the kid flaked without telling you, you could call the parent. Or even if they flaked like the above (via text), you could reach out and say "I noticed Sally has cancelled a lot lately. I am wondering if everything is okay with her."
That might get a parent's attention and have the kid be a little more careful about commitments.
I know some PPs mentioned that they would have gotten into a lot of trouble for flaking, so I wonder if their parents even know they are flaking. Nowadays kids with phones probably manage their own social and work calendars. I would give my kids a talking-to if they weren't living up to their commitments!

[AnnieW625]

That just stinks. And to answer your question, I do find the "flakiness" the norm these days, unless the sitter really, really needs the money. So irritating.

:yeahthat: Although I really have only hired one high school sitter (my co worker's daughter) and things worked out really well I get a feeling that some kids are just a bit more flaky. One sitter my current DCP rec. and who is the oldest of 5 or 6 kids never once called me back. She also had this awful 1 minute long Taylor Swift song on before you ever heard her voice. Irritating beyond belief!


I think this is key. Kids just seem to have more, more stuff, more money, than when I was a kid. Also, I would have gotten into trouble if I flaked on one of my mom's friends, or even just someone in the neighborhood.

:yeahthat: I would have been dead meat had I done that. I actually did flake once when I was in college, but it was unclear wheather or not I was working that day to begin with because it was finals week (the mom was college professor) and originally it hadn't been an agreed upon date and it should have been. Fifteen years later I still sometimes regret not having better communication skills that one time, but thankfully the dad was available to pick up the kids.

Kids do seem to have way more stuff than we ever had as well.

[meggie t]

We mostly hire college kids and have much fewer problems with flakiness. I only had one that had that problem.

Interestingly enough, we have only used college kids and the flakiness is still there! They just don't see it as a job where they *have* to show up if they have expendable income from their parents. I had one girl who was great but she was working her way through college so I knew she would show up. Loved her!

[gatorsmom]

Im sorry that happened to you. It happened to me too last week. I hope you can find a replacement.