You aren't paying for the lessons....

[Pennylane]

So please go away!! Such a petty both but it is driving me crazy! My dd's take private skating lessons which are not cheap by the way , and every single week this girl stands 5 feet away and does the entire lesson with both of them!! It is so distracting to them and the coach but it is a public rink and there is nothing that can be done about it. I'm thinking of asking the mom if she
wants to split the cost with me :)

Ann

[ahisma]

Wow! That's really bold. Clearly the mom must have noticed, especially since she's there every week. I'd be super irritated.

Can you switch times for your lesson so they won't know when to come?

[edurnemk]

Wow! That's really bold. Clearly the mom must have noticed, especially since she's there every week. I'd be super irritated.

Can you switch times for your lesson so they won't know when to come?

Wow! so this kid is always there at the same time every time? I think her mom is doing it on purpose to get free lessons. I'm a wimp so I wouldn't have the courage to say something to her, but I'd change the time of the lessons if possible. Or I'd ask the instructor to say something to the girl or her mother, just something like "sorry, but this is a private lesson, but if you'd like to sign her up we can talk about it after this lesson".

[Pennylane]

Yes, she is there every single week . The instructor will move my dd's to another area but she follows. The mother,which also might be her grandmother, is clueless! She just sits and reads the entire time. Since it is a public ice rink, the teacher has said there is not much that can be done. We took the last 2 open times too, so no chance of switching at least until school starts.

It is almost funny to watch. The girl will turn away quickly when the teacher looks at her and pretend to be doing something else. I feel a little embarrassed !

Ann

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Wow! so this kid is always there at the same time every time? I think her mom is doing it on purpose to get free lessons. I'm a wimp so I wouldn't have the courage to say something to her, but I'd change the time of the lessons if possible. Or I'd ask the instructor to say something to the girl or her mother, just something like "sorry, but this is a private lesson, but if you'd like to sign her up we can talk about it after this lesson".
:yeahthat:

I'd love to say something but i'd admit i'd feel bad telling a kid to leave (even though i agree it's 100% justifiable in this case).

I'd have the instructor handle it. I'm sure they have dealt with this kind of thing. I know that tour guides do this all.the.time...people try to tag a long for tours they didn't pay for and they are always having to tell people to leave.

[Gracemom]

Does anyone remember the Will & Grace episode where Grace follows a personal trainer around the gym and copies what he's teaching a client? In the end, he catches her and tells her that the workout was to increase butt size and decrease bust size, which was the opposite of what she wanted.

The skating instructor should start doing some wacky moves to see if she copies them. There doesn't seem to be anything else you can do. That kid is pretty brazen!

[scriptkitten]

oh i'd totally say something to the mom/gmom.

there was a really disobedient boy in my twins' swimming lessons. it was only this boy and my twins. the boy was pulling on my kids, splashing my daughter (who was super nervous to begin with) and not listening to ANYTHING the instructor told him to do. he was basically monopolizing the entire lesson with his distractions. i flat out told the instructor to grow a pair and control the kid. then, i walked up to the kids grandfather and told him to get some control of his kid. after that day the grandfather sat 2 feet from the pool and stared daggers into the kid to intimidate him into somewhat better behavior and the instructor got tougher as well.

don't put up with this nonsense if you think its affecting the quality of instruction your dd is receiving.

[wellyes]

Does anyone remember the Will & Grace episode where Grace follows a personal trainer around the gym and copies what he's teaching a client? In the end, he catches her and tells her that the workout was to increase butt size and decrease bust size, which was the opposite of what she wanted.

The skating instructor should start doing some wacky moves to see if she copies them. There doesn't seem to be anything else you can do. That kid is pretty brazen!

Or that scene in Bridesmaids where they do the same things as the Yoga in the Park class while trying to hide behind a tree.

[Globetrotter]

That is strange! The instructor needs to approach the girl and her guardian and nicely tell them that the lesson is for your DC and she will need to pay if she continues to take advantage like this. A one time thing wouldn't be too bad, but every single week? How odd.

[arivecchi]

That is strange! The instructor needs to approach the girl and her guardian and nicely tell them that the lesson is for your DC and she will need to pay if she continues to take advantage like this. A one time thing wouldn't be too bad, but every single week? How odd.
:yeahthat: Even if it is a public rink, the instructor should be more proactive and tell the girl's guardians that this is not ok. This is definitely a warranted BP! How annoying!

[brittone2]

I kind of agree with scriptkitten on this. There were 2 problematic girls in DD's dance class this year, and I really think they needed to be dealt with directly. The parents are both freaking oblivious I guess. For example, these are 5 and 6 yo. The parents (three chummy moms who know each other from last year and just chat the whole time) would allow their DDs to bring stuffed animals into ballet. So 2 of these 3 kids spend half the class throwing their animals into the air week after week. I feel like our dance school is very professional, but seriously, I waffled between being annoyed with the instructor for not hand-delivering these kids to their parents, and being super annoyed that the parents of school-aged children cant' figure out it is a massive distraction to send stuffed animals into an hour long class week after week. Surely it isn't okay in a Kindy classroom, why do it at dance? I kept coming home to DH and saying how frustrating it was. The teacher IMO should have marched the girls out and tried nice but firm first. "Girls, the stuffed animals are so cute but they are a distraction. Let's put a date on the calendar and everyone can bring in a special doll or animal to dance with that day. Until then, let's leave the animals at home, okay?" Seriously, grow a backbone! When someone else's child becomes a distraction to that degree (and we aren't talking SNs) in a class other people are paying for, it is unacceptable! THere was also so much potty talk from one girl that they had to skip certain activities because she was constantly throwing out potty talk lingo during class..week after week, not an isolated thing. These activities had a creative component (like reach up and pick something off a tree while in a straddle position as a stretching exercise , and this girl would say "poopy underwear" or something obnoxious every single week, and then it went on and on and was a disruption to the class.

The same moms just feed this in their kids anyway though, IMO, and totally think their kids are special snowflakes. After one class, one of the DDs was whining she didn't like the sticker the teacher gave her, so her mom's friend says, "sweetie, let's go back and ask for a different one." I'm sure the teacher wants a bunch of 5-6 yo who think it is okay to march in and request a specific sticker they want week after week at the end of class, because that wouldn't be totally annoying and unfair (!). The teacher needs to grow a pair and tell the parents no. freaking. way. Politely ;)

I'd ask the instructor to deliver a pamphlet on his or her services, rates, etc. to the grandparent sitting obliviously on the bench!!!! Perhaps they think this is a family friend or unpaid instruction? Is that possible? Still rude, but maybe it would emphasize that you are paying for this.

eta: I totally regret not just hauling out my b*tch card on this one, fwiw.

[Pennylane]

I kind of agree with scriptkitten on this. There were 2 problematic girls in DD's dance class this year, and I really think they needed to be dealt with directly. The parents are both freaking oblivious I guess. For example, these are 5 and 6 yo. The parents (three chummy moms who know each other from last year and just chat the whole time) would allow their DDs to bring stuffed animals into ballet. So 2 of these 3 kids spend half the class throwing their animals into the air week after week. I feel like our dance school is very professional, but seriously, I waffled between being annoyed with the instructor for not hand-delivering these kids to their parents, and being super annoyed that the parents of school-aged children cant' figure out it is a massive distraction to send stuffed animals into an hour long class week after week. Surely it isn't okay in a Kindy classroom, why do it at dance? I kept coming home to DH and saying how frustrating it was. The teacher IMO should have marched the girls out and tried nice but firm first. "Girls, the stuffed animals are so cute but they are a distraction. Let's put a date on the calendar and everyone can bring in a special doll or animal to dance with that day. Until then, let's leave the animals at home, okay?" Seriously, grow a backbone! When someone else's child becomes a distraction to that degree (and we aren't talking SNs) in a class other people are paying for, it is unacceptable! THere was also so much potty talk from one girl that they had to skip certain activities because she was constantly throwing out potty talk lingo during class..week after week, not an isolated thing. These activities had a creative component (like reach up and pick something off a tree while in a straddle position as a stretching exercise , and this girl would say "poopy underwear" or something obnoxious every single week, and then it went on and on and was a disruption to the class.

The same moms just feed this in their kids anyway though, IMO, and totally think their kids are special snowflakes. After one class, one of the DDs was whining she didn't like the sticker the teacher gave her, so her mom's friend says, "sweetie, let's go back and ask for a different one." I'm sure the teacher wants a bunch of 5-6 yo who think it is okay to march in and request a specific sticker they want week after week at the end of class, because that wouldn't be totally annoying and unfair (!). The teacher needs to grow a pair and tell the parents no. freaking. way. Politely ;)

I'd ask the instructor to deliver a pamphlet on his or her services, rates, etc. to the grandparent sitting obliviously on the bench!!!! Perhaps they think this is a family friend or unpaid instruction? Is that possible? Still rude, but maybe it would emphasize that you are paying for this.

eta: I totally regret not just hauling out my b*tch card on this one, fwiw.

That is a great idea about giving her a pamphlet. I will suggest that to the teacher next week. I think that parents have all type of teachers so freaked out now that they will lose their jobs if they don't bend to the wants of the children. It is really sad, imho and making for such SPOILED children!

Ann

[Pennylane]

Or that scene in Bridesmaids where they do the same things as the Yoga in the Park class while trying to hide behind a tree.

That was hysterical!!

Ann

[Still-in-Shock]

If the instructor won't tell the child to go away or won't tell the mother/grandmother that this is a private lesson, then I would ask to pay less, since my children are distracted and not getting the full benefits of a private lesson.

[hbridge]

Ugh, that's horrible. Especially since it's a distraction to both the child and the instructor. Personally (and it would take A LOT for me to do this), I would approach the parent/guardian and let them know that you are paying for a private lesson and that their child is being very distracting and request that the parent discuss this with the child. At least that would let them know that you are aware of what is happening and that it is NOT ACCEPTABLE. If that doesn't work I would talk to the instructor again and then to the director of the program (if there is one). Let the director know how much your child likes the lessons and the teacher, but there is a distraction every week that is keeping your child from being able to focus. The instructor probably cannot do much and the director may not be able to either, but you can at least let everyone know.

I have actually heard discussions in my area of people figuring out how to get "free lessons, tours, ect" by doing just what you are describing. At one point, there seemed to be a network of information being passed through different groups!

[niccig]

If the instructor won't or can't say anything, I would go to the director and tell them that it is very distracting, the child and her mother/grandparent need to be told that she is interfering in a private lesson. If they won't, I'd find somewhere else to do lessons and tell them that. They won't like losing money because this girl is stealing lesson time.

[randomkid]

Does anyone else find it difficult to believe that the parent/gparent (aka adult) is truly oblivious that this is going on? I mean, come on, every single week...at the same time? This adult is the one who drives said child to the rink at the exact time these private lessons are going on...every single week. I think this person knows exactly what they are doing. This is no coincidence that they show up at the same time as the lessons. Just because the adult is reading a book or something doesn't mean they don't know what is going on. My guess is that they read so they can act as if they are oblivious! I would tell the instructor to deal with it or forget it. I would not be paying for private lessons if the instructor is not going to make sure they are private. How frustrating for your girls and for you, OP! I'm aggravated for you.

[Still-in-Shock]

Does anyone else find it difficult to believe that the parent/gparent (aka adult) is truly oblivious that this is going on? I mean, come on, every single week...at the same time? This adult is the one who drives said child to the rink at the exact time these private lessons are going on...every single week. .

Excellent point!! Can you move your lesson time?

[Pennylane]

Excellent point!! Can you move your lesson time?

I can't. The teacher accepted up middle of the season, and this is the only time she had available. We will switch when school starts back up though, so I guess someone will get her shadowing their class!

Ann