name help....

[megs4413]

So my Dh and kids have basically named the baby. I do not have a problem with the name (Elise) but I'm not ready to 'commit' to it. So, when people ask me what the name is I feel a little uncomfortable declaring that it's ANYTHING even though my husband and kids are proudly telling everyone....I feel like this might be a sign that it's not the right name. What do you think? Is my reluctance to share it mean that I don't really want to use it? I keep going back to the name Tess, which I have always loved, but DH and the kids don't like it. I am not so in love with it that I want to force it on everyone, but I can't shake it either. I also really like Allison, but it will theme my kids (totally on accident) and again, no one else likes it. My kids would be Madison, Jackson, and Allison, though we'd call them Maddie, JJ, and Allie.

Ugh. I feel like I'm alone on all of this. Dh is totally set and refuses to discuss any options at all. The kids are just following along with him, but they don't see a need to keep talking about it. I'm on my own here! Help!

oh also, we have NO middle name ideas for ANY of the names. NONE. HELP!

[BabyBearsMom]

I like the name Elise. My only qualm with calling her Ellie would be that it is a pretty common name (at least around here). Are you okay with common names? If so, then it is a very pretty name. I wouldn't be concerned about theming your kids. Both of my girls have the same first initial but DD2 goes by a nickname that starts with a different letter. I have had people ask me if I am trying to be like the Duggars and name all of my children with the same first letter. Sigh.

[emily]

I don't think what you're feeling is unusual at all. It's a big decision and sometimes you just don't know until you have the baby and even then you're not sure. With DS1, we had a name that we both loved but I had serious buyer's remorse for the first 6+ months. with DS2, we had a couple of names going into the hospital but wasn't sure until we were filling out his paperwork. For the record, I love both their names now.

I love both Allison and Elise.

[sariana]

If you don't like it, you don't like it. No one should force a name on you. I think you're right that your hesitation about Elise might indicate that you really are not on board with that name.

I like Allison, and Maddie, JJ, and Allie go great together. But if your DH does not like it, that isn't fair to him, either.

Maybe put all three names in a hat and have someone pick one. Let everyone just "react" to the name drawn and see what happens. It might be enough to restart the conversation.

Do you like the name Alice? It is a cross between Elise and Allison and still could take the nickname Allie (or maybe Ali).

I voted Other because you and your DH should agree on a name; no one should feel "forced" to accept a name.

[rin]

When I'm facing a decision like this, I like to sort of "try on" each choice. I take the one I think is most likely/popular, and pretend the decision is made (so, maybe, pretend I've decided her name would be Elise/Ellie). Then I sort of live with that choice for a week or two, pretending that it's done. I try to think about if I feel disappointed/happy/relieved/etc. Then I go through the other choices. This often really helps!

[kdeunc]

I like all the names (really love Tess!) but I would never think of Ellie for Elise. I would call an Elise, Elise. Aound here people would assume Ellie is short for Eleanore. Good luck! Names can be stressful.

[megs4413]

I like all the names (really love Tess!) but I would never think of Ellie for Elise. I would call an Elise, Elise. Aound here people would assume Ellie is short for Eleanore. Good luck! Names can be stressful.

The ONLY reason why I included the nn info is because originally DH was set on "Ellie" and wouldn't discuss ANYTHING else. It's THE name that he's in love with. so the kids started trying to find a way to name the baby something they liked that could be reasonably related to the nn my DH wants to use. I will ABSOLUTELY not be naming her Ellie without a full name. It's a lovely name, but I don't honestly like it and don't intend to call her Ellie myself. I and the kids would call her Elise which would likely mean Dh would be the only one calling her Ellie. This happened with DS as well. My Dh started calling him Jack (before we knew if it was a boy or girl and before we had a name picked out) so that it would be hard to "change it" to one I liked. I intentionally named him with the initials JJ (after my favorite basketball player of all time) so that I could call him JJ and DH could still legitimately call him Jack. Of course, once he was old enough to decide what he wanted to be called he insisted on being JJ. It fits him perfectly.

anyway, it's a convoluted mess and my DH is an absolutely terrible naming partner. he doesn't play fair at all!

[mommyp]

Well, I'm partial to Elise since that's my middle name :) I do like Allison and Alice too.
But I don't think anyone should feel "forced" into a name! We had a hard time naming DS, and I came up with what ended up being his name. DH was definitely not sold on it first, but sort of tried it out and liked it well enough. It also kind of had a family connection, which helped. Now we all think it suits him perfectly. We never tell anyone the name in advance though, in case we ended up changing our minds!

[psimpson3-5]

TBH, I really like Elise. I'm not a fan of most girl names, so my liking of Elise is a pretty big deal! :D I think it's a great name. While I do like Allison, I think I like Elise more bc I rarely hear that name.

In regards to family calling you by one name - Everyone in my immediate family calls me by my full name, Pamela, yet not one of my friends does and I introduce myself as Pam. More confusion - The true pronunciation of my name - is PA (long a, like papa), mell - a. (My mother uses a Spanish pronunciation.)

[cuca_]

I like Elise a lot. I also love Tess, but I think of it as a nickname not a full name. Not a big fan of Allison. FWIW, when we had a fourth I could not come up with a name for her. DH picked her name (it is a family name on my side and a variation of a family name on his) and I just sort of went along, because I could not come up with anything better. FF three years, and I absolutely love her name.

[georgiegirl]

I'd have a frank discussion with your DH and say that while you like Elise you aren't ready to commit to it yet. And to please stop telling people what the name is. And tell the same to your kids. When people ask, just say, we haven't decided yet.

Heck, I'm due in 6 weeks and we don't even have a short list of names (or any list of names.) Whenever anyone asks, I say that we will decide on a name after we meet this little guy.

[PZMommy]

I don't care for the name Elise. I do like Allison though. Also not a fan of Tess. To me Tess seems like it should be a nickname for a longer name.

[daphne]

Do you like any other names that could have the nn Ellie? (Elizabeth, Elinor/Eleanor, Eliza....). My DH & I LOVE the nn Ellie, but couldn't agree on a full name, so went with something else. FWIW, I really like Tess & Allison. DH pushed hard for Elise, but I was not sold on it. It is a lovely name, but you have to push for what feels right for you, as well. It's a lifelong name!

[TxCat]

I'm partial to Allison, nn Allie, because it is also on our short list. But, Elise is very pretty too. I posted on here a few weeks ago that I've been feeling very paralyzed on a name, in part because of blowback we received with DD's name, so now I'm less enthusiastic to name this little girl. Everyone keeps asking constantly and I keep telling everyone we have a short list (true) but we haven't really decided (kinda true, kinda not - I can't absolutely commit yet!). Even though I'm not ready to 100% commit on a name, I think we are 90% there - I just don't want to put it out there until I'm ready, KWIM?

One exercise that helped us is one night I just sat and typed every name on our short list out with middle and last name - looking at each choice visually actually helped us a lot.

[MamaMolly]

What about Elissa? Like Alyssa only with an E. You could have Tess as a middle name with that!

[BDKmom]

I think it's possible that some of you hesitation comes from the same place as your hesitation to buy things for her. I had the same feelings with DS. DH and I had his name picked out about 2 months before he was born, but we didn't tell anyone. This was something that we had previously decided based on not really wanting to hear everyone's opinions until after it was already official. But I had difficulty thinking of him by his name even to myself, or just between me and DH. I think I didn't want to jinx anything. When I getting settled into the hospital when my water broke with him, I was even hesitant to tell the nurse what we planned to name him.

I would ask your family to stop telling everyone, just stick with a "we have a couple we are deciding between" sort of line, and see how you feel once she is safely here.

[Still-in-Shock]

I'd have a frank discussion with your DH and say that while you like Elise you aren't ready to commit to it yet. And to please stop telling people what the name is. And tell the same to your kids. When people ask, just say, we haven't decided yet.

Heck, I'm due in 6 weeks and we don't even have a short list of names (or any list of names.) Whenever anyone asks, I say that we will decide on a name after we meet this little guy.

:yeahthat:
My DH is a pretty bad naming partner too.
In your shoes, I would embrace the Pregasaurus and cry when things get too one-sided with the baby-naming discussions. But that may not be comfortable for you. Have you thought of other nicknames for Elise, like Lise, or Lisa? What about Alice as a compromise between Allison and Elise? (If I just made things worse, I apologize.)

I wish you luck!

[sarahsthreads]

I think it's fair to tell your family that you want them to stop telling people the baby is already named. That's really unfair to you. I also think that your DH is being more than a bit unkind being completely unwilling to discuss it.

I'm sort of on the other side - I have a favorite name that the kids have picked up on and decided they like too, but DH is ambivalent about it. I have no intention of forcing him into using it, though, so when people ask I say various things like we're still deciding, or that *my* favorite is X but we're still thinking, or that we need to meet the little guy before we really pick a name. I'm still holding out hope that the baby will arrive and he'll say "yes, that's the perfect name!" but I'm also still open to other suggestions. :) It's not going to be on the cake for my baby shower, you know?

I also wouldn't assume your reluctance to share the name with people is necessarily a sign that it's not the right name, just that's it not the right time to make a final decision. We've never really finalized a name until the kid arrives, anyway, it feels a little too much like tempting fate.

FWIW I like all of your name possibilities.

Sarah :)

[Clarity]

You are carrying the child...your vote counts twice! ;) What about Alyssa? It's kinda close to Elise. You could call her Allie then too. I personally love Elise and it's on my short list for my "never gonna happen, we're done at two" pretend third child. lol

[Tenasparkl]

My name is Elise so I'm a bit biased. I didn't like it as a kid because all of my Jennifer friends could get stickers and pencils with their name on it and I couldn't get anything. Now as an adult I love it. I don't get Elsie as much as I used to : )

[TwinFoxes]

I do like Elise. Ellie is very popular around here, I like the full name much better. Tess is fine, I don't love or hate it. I also like Elyssa, I have a friend who pronounces it E-Lissa, which is cute I think.

Since you asked for other suggestions...I always suggest Amelia, which was my wonderful mom's name. I've always thought it was very pretty. :)

[citymama]

I really like Elise and Tess. But I fully understand your desire to keep the name under wraps. There really is something to seeing the baby and naming her once you hold her in your arms. I wouldn't argue about it right now but rather, ask your DH and kids to keep it to themselves. Tell the kids that the baby will be named for sure only once she's born and you'd like it to be a surprise for everyone else.

[almostamom]

I like all three (no help, I know). If I had to rank them in order, I'd say Elise, Tess, and Allison. I do like that Elise and Allison have nicknames for when she's little, but if she wanted to choose the longer name at some point, she could.

[hellbennt]

I like Elise. I like it w/ a 'y' too, Elyse.

How about Ellis? I like that and it's not too far from Ellie...but it's not Ellie...

[Simon]

Are you thinking E-leese or Uh-lise. I think its a name that will be misspelled and mispronounced frequently, at least where I live. I think Ellie can be a nn for lots of first names and would try and find one that you like better. Ellie could also be for the initials L. E. as in Leah Elizabeth or some such combination. Lauren Elise.

Personally, I'd keep hunting for a name you like and feel comfortable with. I caved in to Dh on Ds2's name and I still don't like it. His nn is great and a very good fit for his personality, but I wish we'd chosen a different full name. I twitch a little every time I hear people use his first name, and that happens far more often than I would have guessed. I currently only put his nn on all official forms/registration when I can so people use the nn instead. I won't go so far as so say its a regret, but it was a big reason I was motivated to find a name I really liked for Ds3.

[Simon]

Other first names with the posible nickname Ellie:
Elizabeth
Eleanor
Ellen
Melissa/Melanie
Adele
Noelle/Joelle/Rochelle/Gabrielle/Arielle
Elodie
Eloise
Eliza
Elieen
Kelly/Shelly

[AnnieW625]

My name is Elise so I'm a bit biased. I didn't like it as a kid because all of my Jennifer friends could get stickers and pencils with their name on it and I couldn't get anything. Now as an adult I love it. I don't get Elsie as much as I used to : )

I have an Elisa and Elisa gets irritated that she can find Elise on plates and cups, but not Elisa. She gets called Uh Liss A a lot, and Alicia, and Aleecia.

IMHO if you like Ellie as name just name her Ellie. My mom is an Elizabeth and has gone by Ellie since birth. Ellie is usually more connected to Eleanor.

[kdeunc]

One name I saw after I was done with having kids was Elloree. I really liked that one and it could be shortened to Ellie. I also like a PP suggestion of Ellis.