What were they thinking????

[hbridge]

DC goes to a public school (grades K-5). This summer the principal has decided to give the kids a reading "sheet". Every time they finish a book this summer they color in a square on a grid...a grid with 100 squares!!! Of course in "fine print" the sheet states that for chapter books a chapter "can" count as a square, but DC refuses to do this! We have a child that reads, ALL THE TIME and has read 20 chapter books already (in less than three weeks). We're talking books like Chronicles of Narnia! DC is insisting that the chart has to be completed before school starts and that she must read 100 books!!!!

I am beyond frustrated since our entire summer is going to be spent reading books to ensure this log is complete! As much as I love that there is so much reading happening, I want it to be for the simple pleasure of it, not to fill this crazy log. We spent the entire school year logging every book that was read, now the summer is turning out the same way!!!

My goal this summer was to "detox" from a really difficult school year, not to extend the pressure!!!!!!!

Unfortunately, with my high anxiety, rule following child there is nothing I can do to stop this. But we need a BREAK from the constant pressure!!!

[liz]

oh no, that stinks. Is there any way to get really short chapter books to help her out (vs long books like the Narnia series?). Sorry this is turning into a stressful assignment for you all :(

[crl]

Argh. Along the lines of the PPer, can said child be persuaded to read short books for the log? Is there another younger child who would enjoy having board books read aloud? (Your own or a neighbor's or friend's?) Could easily read ten of those a day and still have plenty of time to do other fun things.

Otherwise, I would honestly consider throwing the log away. My kiddo was very obsessive about certain things when he was younger and I had to definitively put a stop to those things to keep them from inferring with his (and my) life.

Sorry, I know this is the bitching post so feel free to ignore my advice and just accept my commiseration.

Catherine

[Still-in-Shock]

Is there anyone at the school you can call to help you out? Since the school didn't expect all 100 books to be read, they should have put on the list that they want 25 books read and these are the choices (or something like that), but oh well.

Keep in mind that for some children, joy comes from checking things off a list! It sounds like your DC is in that category. She may not see this as pressure, but a challenge! And if she likes to read, she may be insisting on reading the whole book simply because that is more fun than reading part way.

[karstmama]

hmm, yeah - i can see ^that. so ask her - is this stressful, is this fun, how would she feel if she tried & didn't get there, how would she feel if she didn't try, etc, and go from there?

but yeah, that sounds sorta harsh. :(

[cmo]

Graphic novels are popular, have a wide variety of titles/interests, and best of all: can be read quickly, even though they look like a full-size book! Many public libraries now carry them; look in 741.5 in the non-fiction section, or see if there is a spin-off section or shelf in the fiction area.

100 anythings in summer seems excessive! Hope it all works out for you both.

[hbridge]

Thanks for the responses. DC may not be feeling the pressure, yet, but I am and can already foresee what is going to happen as the summer progresses.

There are certainly ways that we could fill the chart quickly, but DC is very much a rule follower and will actually declare books ineligible for the chart if they are graphic novels or not long enough for them to be in the correct "reading level"...

I would LOVE to throw the chart away, but it is somehow tied to a contest and DC doesn't want to let down the new class!

With the horrendous pressure on DC last school year, I am beyond frustrated. It was so bad last semester that I was considering pulling DC out of school for a few weeks. We need the pressure to disappear for awhile.

[hellokitty]

Wow. That's a lot of books. My oldest is also reading books at that level and while he reads a lot on his own. 100 of those more advanced chapter books would probably not be attainable for him over one summer!

[crl]

Can you call the school and have them tell you that each chapter counts for one square? Then tell her the school SAID the RULE is one chapter equals one square. Might appeal to the rule follower instinct.

Catherine

[hbridge]

Can you call the school and have them tell you that each chapter counts for one square? Then tell her the school SAID the RULE is one chapter equals one square. Might appeal to the rule follower instinct.

Catherine

I have been told by DC that I am not making any calls. Unfortunately, the assignment sheet says one book per square. People tell me how wonderful it must be to have a "rule follower", ARGHHH!!!

Thanks you all for your support, I think I have no recourse except to let this play out. I just HATE watching DC continue to stress about school work during summer break!

[crl]

I have been told by DC that I am not making any calls. Unfortunately, the assignment sheet says one book per square. People tell me how wonderful it must be to have a "rule follower", ARGHHH!!!

Thanks you all for your support, I think I have no recourse except to let this play out. I just HATE watching DC continue to stress about school work during summer break!


Umm, in my house DC would be told very firmly that he or she does not dictate who I talk to. If you are facing this kind of rigidity and it is ruling your life to this extent, I would be calling for help from a therapist. This is taking over your whole summer as well as your child's and that's just not healthy at all for either of you. And I say this as some one who has an anxious, rule-following kid who has gotten lots of help from various professionals over the years.

I'll shut up now.

Catherine

[PZMommy]

Yikes! Could you somehow color in a few squares while she isn't looking?

[hbridge]

Umm, in my house DC would be told very firmly that he or she does not dictate who I talk to. If you are facing this kind of rigidity and it is ruling your life to this extent, I would be calling for help from a therapist. This is taking over your whole summer as well as your child's and that's just not healthy at all for either of you. And I say this as some one who has an anxious, rule-following kid who has gotten lots of help from various professionals over the years.

I'll shut up now.

Catherine

Wow, I thought this was the BP!!! NOW I remember why I don't post on BBB much.

Catharine, you have NO IDEA about my child's background, support system, ect! I simply needed a place to express my frustration with a school system that sets up these "assignments" without thinking of the ramifications for families!

I'm signing off now...

[crl]

Wow, I thought this was the BP!!! NOW I remember why I don't post on BBB much.

Catharine, you have NO IDEA about my child's background, support system, ect! I simply needed a place to express my frustration with a school system that sets up these "assignments" without thinking of the ramifications for families!

I'm signing off now...


My apologies.
Catherine

[Corie]

Would she know if you color in a few extra squares each day after she goes to bed??

I would totally try to do this!!

[pinkmomagain]

I'm sorry you were hurt by a response on this thread, hbridge.

In reading the thread, I felt that posters were trying to be helpful in how to deal with the issue -- either bending the rules to complete the assignment or confronting the school on the assignment -- however your responses indicated your dc's rule following tendencies as the obstacle to solving the problem. So it seems that was the issue Catherine was trying point out and address.

It is so hard when school sends home more than we feel is necessary for our kids. Several times I have sent a note back to school with an uncompleted assignment I didn't agree with or felt put too much pressure on my kids or family -- from elementary through middle school.

Hope you find something that works for your family.

[AngelaS]

Can you read shorter books together with your child? You read a page, he reads a page and so on? 100 books is a lot for a summer unless your child is a great reader.

Another thing to do is implement a rest and reading time each day and let your child read on his own. For every 15 minutes or so, count a box. Personally I'd hit the library and find lots of easy readers. :)

[Melaine]

Yikes! I am all for summer reading but I can totally see this being a problem at our house too....100 is a LOT of books!!! My girls also tend to be obsessed with finishing things and doing them perfectly...it's making me sweat just thinking about dealing with that.

[ett]

100 books for the summer is pretty intense. DS1 just finished 4th grade and his teacher said the goal was to read 7 books over the summer. If your DC insists on needing to fill in all the squares, then I would emphasize the note on the page that says each chapter counts as a grid or go to the library and pick out a lot of picture books, early readers, or early chapter books.

[ahisma]

Total empathy here. My DS is a big rule follower. At the end of the year assembly, the principal challenged them all to 10 minutes a day on IXL.com. No biggie, except that the school doesn't have accounts for DS's grade. They sent out an email clarifying that it was for rising 2-5th graders, but there is NO way that DS1 allows an email to trump an assembly announcement by the principal. So, guess who's paying for an IXL.com account this summer. Even that wasn't a big deal, but we have no access at the cottage and DS1 flips because he feels like he's letting his principal down. Sigh.

[ett]

fill the chart quickly, but DC is very much a rule follower and will actually declare books ineligible for the chart if they are graphic novels or not long enough for them to be in the correct "readng level"...


I would try to use this opportunity to help your DC be more flexible. Graphic novels or shorter books certainly count as a book. Graphic novels have their own section in our library's children's room. There are many advanced picture books that are geared for older kids.

[randomkid]

I'm sorry - that is so frustrating! I have the opposite problem here. DD goes to a private school and they gave REQUIRED summer work. We have a big booklet with 8 weeks of reading, writing and math assignments. She is supposed to read for 20 minutes a day, 5 days/wk. I think she has read about a total of an hour so far! DD likes to read and she's good at it, but she is also a very active kid and will choose doing cartwheels and playing in the sprinkler in the backyard over sitting down to read. DD will be entering 3rd grade and is reading at almost 6th grade level. I'm not too concerned about her reading, but she HAS to do it. I am worried about her math and had planned to set her up with tutoring, but now we have this book to do as well. So, I am having to resort to a reward system to get DD to sit down long enough to do this stupid book! Sorry to hijack, but I understand the stress of summer homework, but from the opposite side. Summer is not supposed to be stressful! I think about this everyday. When we go to a movie, I'm not enjoying it as much as I could if I wasn't thinking "DD needs to be doing her work!" I WOH, so setting aside time to do this has been a challenge. I'm sorry you haven't been enjoying your Summer due to the reading - that sucks! Educators need to think about the parents once in a while, don't they?

[OKKiddo]

I had just read something about this on a blog I follow. My kids have already completed their summer library program with books that they chose (and no pressure from me). I think after having read the blog though I'll watch more carefully what I feed their brain. ;) http://lerheims.wordpress.com/2013/07/09/reading-good-books/

[hbridge]

Thank you all for your replies. I KNOW there is nothing I can do to improve this issue since much of the difficulty lies in my child's rigid interpretation of the "rules". I am simply frustrated at the "assignment" that the school has given the kids. Reading is important, but that quality is much more important than quantity; which simply increases my frustration with the homework. Oliver Twist is a much more involved book to read than a Puppy Place book, yet the school is telling the kids that they will be rewarded for quantity!!! Of course, my child thinks that they all need to be "classics".

The other part is my rigid, high anxiety child; I'm not going to get in a battle over a reading program. However the school will be hearing from me about it later in the summer when the principal is available.

[123LuckyMom]

Thank you all for your replies. I KNOW there is nothing I can do to improve this issue since much of the difficulty lies in my child's rigid interpretation of the "rules". I am simply frustrated at the "assignment" that the school has given the kids. Reading is important, but that quality is much more important than quantity; which simply increases my frustration with the homework. Oliver Twist is a much more involved book to read than a Puppy Place book, yet the school is telling the kids that they will be rewarded for quantity!!! Of course, my child thinks that they all need to be "classics".

The other part is my rigid, high anxiety child; I'm not going to get in a battle over a reading program. However the school will be hearing from me about it later in the summer when the principal is available.

I do think it's a good idea to speak about it with the principal. It's good for them to know that their very well-meaning assignments has had negative and in intended ramifications for your child. This could all have been avoided if the directions had been more clear.

[Cam&Clay]

It's a shame that the school didn't make it clear that 1 book = 1 chapter. For our summer reading programs, we explain to the students that reading a chapter book counts for way more than reading a picture book. It's only fair.