s/o: baby showers and registeries for subsequent kids

[TwoBees]

What's your opinion on baby registries for subsequent children even if there will not be a shower.

Here's my situation:
I won't be having a shower for this DC religious reasons, and I didn't have one for DD. However, I know there are people who are going to want to get me things. And there are some things we need because we got rid of them/the no longer work/were in bad condition, etc, and there are some things I would like either because they are new since DD was born almost 4 years ago or because I have learned that something different than what we have/had might be a better choice the second time around. For example, we had to throw out our high chair, we never registered for a swing, I'd like some BFing supplies that I didn't know about, and I'd like the car seat adaptor for our stroller which didn't exist when we got the stroller. And if DC#2 is a boy, I'd like to get some boy-themed stuff. So nothing we couldn't live without or buy ourselves, but I'd like to give people ideas of what I would like if they want to buy us gifts. When I'm on the other end, I much prefer to give the registrant something they really want instead of something I think they might want.

So, just curious, what's your opinion?

[wellyes]

I think a registry is a tool, not an obligation. Not bad to have one at all.
But I'd only share registry info with those who ask.

[ellies mom]

As long as there is a wide range of price options, I don't care. Sometimes it is nice to know exactly what the person wants or needs, especially if it is for someone I don't know super well (say one of my husband's co-workers).

[carolinacool]

I agree with price ranges. And because I know my family and how tongues would wag, I would not put any high dollar stuff on the registry for second showers (furniture, strollers, car seats, swings, etc). Because the only people who would buy that stuff anyway would be my parents, so I would just tell them. But I could practically hear other relatives saying ("Didn't she just have a baby two years ago?"). But I would do smaller gifts like clothes, milk bags, diapers, blankets, washcloths/towels, bath wash, etc.

I don't have an issue buying stuff for second and subsequent children at all!

[megs4413]

I'm going with case by case. i don't mind showers for subsequents in ANY situation, but registries are slightly different. if it was two on the closer together end (like less than 3 years apart) i would probably frown at a registry. it just seems a tad unnecessary, although some people may never have done a registry for their first, so....again, case by case. i don't mind though if the kids are further spaced, so that people may have gotten rid of things or things may be out of date and needing to be updated regardless.

i do have a registry this time (didn't with my son, did with dd1) but it's for me to keep track of what i need to buy!

[Philly Mom]

I don't have showers either for religious reasons. I don't particularly like going to them so would not have had one for myself. My colleagues threw me one after DD1 was born. I did not enjoy it. That said, registries are helpful for everyone. I see no reason why people can't register as many times as they want. I would prefer a registry for a second child, then I would know what to buy because I would know what they need/probably already have.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I voted "totally fine." I don't see why simply having registries for subsequent children is so tacky. Unless you are going around telling everybody where you are registered, I don't see the harm.

My two are 14mo apart and I had a registry (actually, two) for DD for the following reasons

1) my family/ILs kept requesting it (they all live OOT, don't see us on a regular basis) and wanted to know what we wanted/needed, wanted to get us things that coordinated
2) i wanted to get the 10% off coupon or whatever discount for items not purchased from the registry (mostly on PBK site)
3) it was an easy way to keep track of things i wanted for DD"s room

i put mostly small things like girly blankets, bibs, etc. i did put a $100+ nursery bedding set on one of them on there and MIL bought it. I certainly did not expect anybody but family to buy anything big on there.

i figure most people are like me and have family who keep asking about registries, or do so bc they want to get the completion coupon. also, it's just a nice way to see what they want/need.

heck, now that i think of it, i even created a registry for DS's first birthday . i put one big item on there...the Catalina toddler bed. i set the "event" date as his birthday. a week after his bday passed i went on the site and got the 10% off coupon to buy it. i think i even learned that trick here :)

[twowhat?]

I voted "totally fine." I don't see why simply having registries for subsequent children is so tacky. Unless you are going around telling everybody where you are registered, I don't see the harm.

Me too, this was my vote.

[anonomom]

Honestly, before I read the other shower thread, I'd have voted that registries for subsequent children were okay but gauche. But reading the discussion there and seeing the various reasons one might start a registry changed my mind. I think I'm totally ok with it now.

[ilfaith]

I didn't have a shower until after DS1 was born (the day after his bris, so family and friends were already in town). Since he was our first, we registered for all sorts of stuff (the only items we actually bought before he was born were the car seat, stroller, and pack-n-play (which all lived in our garage for a few weeks until he came home from the hospital). It was fun to open all the presents, and DS1 slept through the whole thing (perhaps a bit hungover from the wine he sucked down the day before).

No showers for DS2 or DS3. There wasn't much that I needed. I bought a double stroller when DS2 was born and my parents got us a new Maclaren when DS3 was a baby (because my old single stroller was pretty trashed), but since all were boys, I didn't require much.

Of course even though I didn't have showers, we did have a party for each boy's bris, so family and friends did come and bring gifts, but mostly small things (like an outfit), something consumable (like bath products or diapers), or something personalized (since we didn't wait until the bris to announce the babies' names).

I don't have an issue with other people having multiple showers. Why shouldn't younger siblings get some nice new things. When you have a baby, people are going to want to bring gifts, so why not register to get things you will actually use. Of course I think people can certainly go overboard on their registries (but heck, if somebody wants to get you that $300 high chair, or a Gucci baby carrier ... http://www.gucci.com/us/category/u/accessories_for_mom/baby_carriers ... good for you).

[PZMommy]

I think it is totally fine to have a registry. I did for both of my boys, even though I didn't have a shower for my second. I basically wanted a place to keep track of what I needed to purchase, but also I wanted the 10% off coupon to buy the big ticket items (double stroller, new car seat, etc). Plus, we have no storage space. I donated my swing and high chair to my son's daycare center. If I ever have another, I need to buy another swing, and our bouncey chair was so over used by my first two, we'd need a new one of those too.

[Fairy]

Oh crap, I read this wrong. I thought it said showers. So, I voted wrong. I am fine with registries for all pregnancies.

[Jacksmommy2b]

I had a registry with all three, I am all about the registry completion coupon! FTR, I only had a shower with #1.

[kdeunc]

I had a registry with all three, I am all about the registry completion coupon! FTR, I only had a shower with #1.

This exactly. I did not have a shower with DS2 or DD but I did register with DD because I needed new items and I wanted a coupon! :)

[hellokitty]

I had a baby showers for DS1. For DS2, who was only 18 mo younger, I didn't feel the need to do a shower, BUT I had some friends and family members who asked me to do a small registry. I mostly registered for things like diapers and stuff, but I never advertised the registry unless someone asked if I had one. I have never been to a subsequent shower that was as big of an affair as a shower for a FTM, so I don't get why ppl get so bent out of shape about it. Subsequent showers are very much more like sprinkles. I don't ever see anyone getting big baby gear or anything. I think the nicest thing I have seen as a gift at subsequent showers was a petunia picklebottom diaper bag and that was b/c the bestie who threw the shower, got it for the mom. Everyone else gave layette type of stuff. I did not register for DS3, nor did I get a shower. However, by that time I was active in my moms club and I did get several meals through our moms club and was thankful for that help and effort of others.

[swrc00]

I think a registry is fine. I automatically check now to see if people have them. I did two with DS2 and people bought things off of them.

[BDKmom]

I think it is totally fine. The only time I have a problem is when it is presented in a way that makes it a little obnoxious. For instance, we were giving a shower once for a coworker for her second child, and the office asked her to make a list of things she needed. She listed two nursery themes. Apparently she was planning to redecorate her older child's room, but when people asked which theme was for the baby, she wouldn't tell them. Of course, the shower was for the new baby, so that's who people wanted to buy for, not the older child, who had a shower when he was born. So, I would hate seeing things that were for the older children. That's taking advantage. Or registering for new stuff top to bottom when the children are close in age. I get that there could be new things out or some things might not be ready to be passed on, but don't use it as an opportunity to get all new stuff (which I don't think in any way OP is trying to do, just clarifying when the situation would bother me).

[AnnieW625]

As long as there is a wide range of price options, I don't care. Sometimes it is nice to know exactly what the person wants or needs, especially if it is for someone I don't know super well (say one of my husband's co-workers).

:yeahthat: My shower for DD1 at work was attended by more guys than it was girls and I believe most of them went in on the big gift card and group gift, but I registered with this in mind as well.

With DD2 I set up registries in case anyone asked what I wanted. No one bought anything off of them, but I thought they were nice to have just in case. I didn't have a shower for DD2, but people did give her some welcome gifts.

We didn't know the sex of the baby either and we didn't with the first so I didn't need a lot of gender neutral clothing to begin with.

[BabyBearsMom]

I think they are totally fine. I put some pricey stuff on my registry for DD2 so I could use my registry completion coupon on them and save some money. I would never expect anyone to buy something very expensive for me even if it was on the list. If one of my friends or family thought I was greedy because I had a wide range of things on my registry, well frankly, I wouldn't want someone in my life who would assume I was gift grubby or be nasty to me or about me because of it. A registry is a suggestion. No one has to buy things off the registry or anything at all.

[essnce629]

Totally fine.

When I was pregnant with DS2 I made 3 registries, but 2 of them I never told anyone about. They were more for me to keep a list of things I liked/needed at different websites and a registry/wishlist is the easiest way to do that.

I have 6 wishlists for myself on Amazon, but only one of them is public since the others are just a way to organize things I'm interested in by category. I see a baby registry as being the same. You don't need to have a shower to have one.

And you definitely need a registry to get the registry completion coupon!!!

[alirebco]

I had a very small registry for my 2nd only because it was to keep track of what I wanted to buy! I never expected anyone to buy me anything though.