s/o... is it crazy to NOT want a pool in my yard?

[twotimesblue]

DH and I are looking to buy a house. Today we saw one on a very big lot ('big' by the standards of this crazily HCOL neighborhood, anyway!) which had a pool in the back yard. The house was a fixer, which I could definitely make nice... but with a 3-year old and an infant, I don't know if I want the hassle and safety issues that go hand-in-hand with pool ownership. I feel like I could never let the kids play in the garden unsupervised, as even with fencing, alarms etc accidents are always possible (especially with two very curious young boys). I also worry about liability if we have neighbors' kids over... this home is the largest on the block, so is likely the only one with a pool. Kids who come round would surely want to swim, and I don't want to take on that responsibility!

Is it crazy that I would rather get rid of the pool or cover it over for my peace of mind? We live in SoCal (which pretty much has pool weather year-round) if that makes a difference.

[belovedgandp]

Being where you could use it all year round might sway me, but no I do not think you are crazy. A pool is A LOT of work and if you are not going to love it and feel comfortable with it then it will just be a pain.

We only have outdoor pool weather for about three months of the year. For the size/price/area of my house it is unusual that our neighborhood does not have a subdivision pool. I do not miss even that. My theory being by the time I might trust the swimming ability of my kids I would not trust their decision making abilities or friends.

We have plenty of city pools and a great one at our gym that are readily available to us for less money with supervision.

[TxCat]

Not crazy. DH ad I live in Texas and felt the same way when we were looking at houses last year. Our realtor was of the same mindset and fortunately already knew the costs of filling in a pool so that we could mentally add that in when figuring out potential costs. Ultimately we bought a house without a pool, but we looked at several with pools with plans to fill the pool in.

[StantonHyde]

I knew I did not want a house with a pool. We are happy to go to a "club" pool.

[ellies mom]

Pools are a kiss of death for the husband and I. We know we don't want to deal with upkeep and we'd rather spend the "filling it in money" on more house.

[vonfirmath]

DH and I are looking to buy a house. Today we saw one on a very big lot ('big' by the standards of this crazily HCOL neighborhood, anyway!) which had a pool in the back yard. The house was a fixer, which I could definitely make nice... but with a 3-year old and an infant, I don't know if I want the hassle and safety issues that go hand-in-hand with pool ownership. I feel like I could never let the kids play in the garden unsupervised, as even with fencing, alarms etc accidents are always possible (especially with two very curious young boys). I also worry about liability if we have neighbors' kids over... this home is the largest on the block, so is likely the only one with a pool. Kids who come round would surely want to swim, and I don't want to take on that responsibility!

Is it crazy that I would rather get rid of the pool or cover it over for my peace of mind? We live in SoCal (which pretty much has pool weather year-round) if that makes a difference.

No pool was one of the non-negotiables on our list when looking for a house to buy.
I don't want the worry or the expense of it.

And we live in Central Texas

[okinawama]

We specified to our realtor that a pool was a deal breaker for us. We asked her not to show us homes with a pool, so I don't think you're crazy at all!

[MamaMolly]

We moved to a pool weather location and refused to look at houses with pools. It is just too much to worry about for me. ETA: plus if the house is a fixer upper then how well was the pool maintained? That could get very expensive very quickly.

[Still-in-Shock]

You are NOT crazy. Liability is a BIG deal, and fences do not keep children out if they want to get in there. Yours AND the neighbors.

[crl]

Not crazy at all! I vetoed any house with a pool. Dh thought I was being paranoid and then he went and looked up drowning stats for kids and decided he agreed with me. Part of my worry was that I was pretty sure I could make it so my toddler couldn't access the pool without supervision, but Tweens and teenagers do stupid, crazy things and I could not guarantee I could keep older kids out.

Catherine

[MMMommy]

No pool was one of the non-negotiables on our list when looking for a house to buy.
I don't want the worry or the expense of it.

:yeahthat: And I live in CA.

[rin]

No pool was one of the non-negotiables on our list when looking for a house to buy.
I don't want the worry or the expense of it.


:yeahthat:

We don't currently live in an area where pools are terribly common, but I am pretty adamant that I do not ever want to live in a house with a pool. I'm perfectly happy with having a neighborhood pool membership and letting someone else deal with the upkeep & liability issues.

[Globetrotter]

Not at all crazy. We bought knowing we would fill it in due to safety and liability issues!

[Mermanaid]

When we were looking for a house a pool was a no-go. I was pregnant and had a 2.5 yo at the time so didn't want to worry with the possibility of keeping the kids out of the pool. But ... now that the kids are older and can safely manage themselves around a pool I really wish we had one. I wish we would have thought a bit differently during the buying process, much like our realtor suggested.

So, before you ask yourself if you are crazy (!) ... consider whether at some point you may want a pool. And, is this your forever house or a stepping stone? If the answer to either of those is yes, then I would consider a house with a pool because you can implement precautions for a few year until the kids are mature enough to handle themselves.

[essnce629]

DS1 was a year old when we were looking at houses and we didn't want a pool either. We are in CA as well. I didn't want to deal with the safety issues and added costs of upkeep. Once we're done having kids though and they are all older and good swimmers I'd maybe consider putting one in.

[sgmango]

I felt the same way when we were looking for houses, and I don't regret my decision one bit. We go to the neighborhood pool 2-3 times/week instead. We don't have to pay to clean/maintain the pool, and my kids and their friends can play in our backyard without me having to worry about anyone drowning. We did buy an extra large inflatable pool for weekend use when we want to hang out at home and let the kids stay cool in the back yard. Everyone is happy.

[Globetrotter]

The bottom line is.. are you pool people who would use it all the time, enough to justify the expense? And are you willing to deal with the risk and take all precautions or would it overcome you with worry? (needless to say, I am amongst the latter so the pool had to go!)

[WitMom]

Right there with you. When we were house shopping, any house with a pool was an immediate "no". Too much danger with littles around. And I know they will eventually grow up, but then I don't want to be the one having to police everyone else's kids in my pool. Add to that the maintenance/upkeep/cost for chemicals etc....no thanks.

[JBaxter]

We bought in a development with a community pool. It scared me with Jack. He's my daredevil and WOULD scale a fence.

[AJP]

Not crazy IMO. We had a pool growing up and DH and I had one in our first home -pre DC. I love the idea of having one again some day, but not with two 5yr olds and a 2 yr old. It would be a fun way to enjoy our home during the summer, but at this stage my DC are WAY too adventurous and risky. No safety covers, alarms and fences would give me enough peace of mind and I'm not usually as neurotic about other things. Our next home will have the perfect pool yard...to build one in the future.

[llama8]

I refused to move to a home with a pool. Too many safety issues and liability issues. I live in NY where there are only 3 good pool months at best, so I am fine with using the community pool or beaches when needed. You hear of young children drowning in a backyard pool every other week here on LI. I think it is perfectly normal to not want a pool.

[Ceepa]

We definitely did not want a pool. I would much rather have yard in that space.

[AnnieW625]

We couldn't afford a house with a pool at the time we were buying so it was really a non issue for us. We are in So Cal as well and yes a pool would be nice, but not worth the headache. I actually worry more about having a pool when the kids are older because we work full time outside the home and I don't want my kids being able to throw crazy parties when we aren't home.

Sadly there are no pool clubs here.

[chlobo]

If you are thinking of filling it in I would get an estimate before you buy the house. I've been told it can cost almost as much to fill in a pool as it costs to build one. It would probably be helpful to have that upfront cost ahead of time.

[trales]

We are anti pool and belong to a pool club. It is more social, less work, DD always has someone to play with and I don't have to maintain it.

[mackmama]

Some people wants pools, some don't. Nothing wrong with either. I think you can absolutely have a pool and make it safe. It's just whether you want to deal with it since pools will require more supervision and precautions.

[BabyBearsMom]

I wouldn't want a pool. They are crazy $$$$. My ILs have one and just had to replace the pool cover, $10,000. I kid you not. Not to mention the price of the pool guy, the pool vaccuum, the fence. To me a pool would be a major detriment of the house and I would have to LOVE the house to put up with the pool. You aren't crazy at all.

[Giantbear]

we rejected a few homes that were perfect because of the pool. Had too many nightmares to be comfortable with one

[♥ms.pacman♥]

you're not crazy. when we were looking for our current house dh was not comfortable with the idea of having a pool..he's rather paranoid and his first concern is liability...as PP said, what if tweens jump the fence or do something stupid. our next door neighbors have a pool (their kids are older, like 13 and 18) but when they're OOT they do let other neighbors use it (with much younger age kids, like 5 yo etc - supervised of course but still). i don't think i'd be comfortable with that. yet i'd feel an obligation to do so...

right now my dc are 2 and 3 and i do like how i can just go outside with them every day (they LOVE love love being outside..doing watertable, playing with chalk, eating popsicles, playing in their clubhouse, etc) and i can be in and out on my phone or reading a book or whatever and not have to keep a super close eye on them every moment. to me, that is invaluable right now, especially at the age where everything is "mommy" this or that. it's great "downtime" for everyone... i love taking them outside and just letting them do whatever they want, and not worrying about them spilling this or that or messing up whatever. our yard is totally fenced in and somtimes ds is playing outside while i make dinner, or clean up (i can see them from the window). i could not do that if we had a pool, obviously. we have a great water table and cheap plastic baby pool from walmart that they love to play in when they want to get wet, and at this age that's fine for them. though i admit some days it is soo hot i would love a pool for ME to go in as well. :)

i'd think it'd be nice though for when my dc are older. the maintenance part doesn't bother me so much as that you can totally hire out.

[Pennylane]

I love having a pool now that my dc are older and we live where we have almost no neighbors . I would not have wanted one when my dc were younger and we had lots of kids nearby. I can only imagine it being a total pain in the bit then.

Ann

[smilequeen]

I posted the other thread and I don't think it's nuts. I did not want one at all until recently. Now though...I'd feel safer taking my kids out to swim in the backyard than trying to keep track of all 3 of them at the busy municipal pool. They are at 3 different levels/interests and I just can't handle the stress...while they want to swim and so do I. But before now, I was NOT going to get one. Ever.

[Philly Mom]

Not crazy in the slightest. It was the topic of conversation this weekend amongst a bunch of parents. As much as we all dislike group pools, the thought of having teenagers with access to a pool in our own backyards and possibly alcohol, seemed even more frightening than having our toddlers near a pool in our backyard. I love swimming laps so I would love to have one to a certain extent, but just not worth it. Costs are a lot as well, so that is another reason to not have one.

[Binkandabee]

Was also a deal breaker for us when we were buying the home that we'd start our family in. No way, no how would I have a pool with small children. BUT...now that my kids are grown (10 and 5)...I do sometimes wish we had a pool. Not enough to actually put one in, but if when we move, it won't be the deal breaker it was a number of years ago.

[ahisma]

I like pools. A lot.

I would never buy a house with a pool. I don't want to deal with the upkeep, the expense, the safety precautions or the liability.

[speo]

We would love a pool! We don't have pool clubs around here because there are too many people with pools. But I understand not wanting one. It isn't crazy.

[BunnyBee]

It's your house. Why would it be crazy?

[Tenasparkl]

We're also in SoCal and I didn't want a pool with my small kids. I'd love one to swim in, but I'd be way too worried about safety. Not to mention that in our area most houses with pools don't have much room left for a yard.

We're happy with our kiddie pools and a short walk to the local pool.

[edurnemk]

You are not crazy! I refuse to have a pool with small kids as well. I have enough safety issues on my mind as it is! LOL. Plus, if the lot is not huge it's a waste of space, I'd rather have a bigger yard.

My grandparents had a pool, and I remember when I was in K or 1st grade they covered it (basically filled it with soil and put grass on top). If I loved the house, I'd just plan on covering it up, but no way would I keep the pool.

[Melaine]

We grew up with a pool and enjoyed it but I would never have one. I love that my parents have one so we can visit but I'm too nervous to own one. Same with trampoline. Nice for afternoon visits with friends, too nerve-wracking for me day by day. Also growing up with a pool I know how much work they are and I have no time for it.

[bigsis]

I was in your shoes 8 years ago. I had an 18mo when we were looking for a house. We saw a beautiful house with a beautiful pool that my DH loved. I told him I don't want a house with a pool. There were several houses we found with a pool. My DH was raised in a house with a pool and couldn't imagine a childhood without one. I was adamant about not getting a pool. Long story short---no pool.

Now my kids are bigger: 10 and 8 and I'm kicking myself for not getting a house with a pool. Summers are 5x more bearable with a pool! My DH bought a gigantic above-ground pool and we are in it every minute we can. We love it sooo much! We didn't use our swing set that we had for 6 yrs nearly as much as we have the pool that we've had for a month!

FWIW, I'm in SoCal as well.

[twotimesblue]

I guess it feels crazy to me partly because I grew up in a cold northern European country... my friends and family over there would sell a limb to have a pool (or the weather to be able to enjoy one!) so rejecting a house on the basis that it DOES have one feels strange to me.

I can totally see that a pool would be great with older kids - but again, I'm a nervous Nellie and the thought of teens (and their irresponsible friends) around a potential death trap: yikes. We are only in a condo at the moment with a very small yard, but, as a PP said, the ability to let DS1 play out there with minimum supervision is a HUGE deal for a p/t WAHM like me. My dream is to have a bigger yard so that when DS2 is old enough, the boys can play in the sandbox/play house etc etc to their hearts' content, giving me some respite while they do what kids should be doing! The layout of this 'pool house' is odd, in that the yard is in two seperate sections - the pool leads straight off the back of the house, while the grassy area is several steps down from there and totally out of sight from the house. It would cost many thousands to fill the pool in/deck it over and re-stucture the yard to make it small kid safe, so sadly it will have to be a no. Back on the hunt, I guess!