What to do with 8.5 year old boy obsessing about weight?

[smilequeen]

This is making me so sad :(

DS1 has started to obsess over his weight. He's asking me how to lose weight. Telling me he doesn't like his belly. I don't know what started this :(

He is at a healthy weight. He's a more athletic, muscular build, but his BMI is in the healthy range. He gets a lot of exercise, plays a lot of sports, is very strong and fit. He's talented at sports, gets presidential scores on the fitness testing at school.

He's been in hockey camp the last few weeks and coming home and wanting to use the treadmill or go to extra skating sessions. I catch him getting on the scale.

I talked to him about healthy eating and exercise. We talked about snack food choices. I let him know that he was at a healthy weight and is a healthy kid, and that I just want him to keep making his healthy choices. It's not healthy for him to LOSE weight and he is just a body type more like mine. He is muscular. Building muscle will probably always be easy for him. I just don't know what to say to him. In reality, we keep a fairly healthy diet, but it could certainly be better and I can work on that, but I don't want him to obsess about this. And it's not even a problem! He's at a healthy weight, he's just on the higher end of that range instead of the lower end. He also seems to be gearing up to get a little taller. He's grown 1/2 inch in the past few weeks.

Ughh. I've always been like this. I was built like him from puberty on, and as a girl, that sucked. But I guess I think of this body shape as being a more positive thing for a boy...he looks like he'll grow up to be a strong athletic guy. Maybe I need to adjust my thinking.

What do I do with this??? I didn't expect this.

[Kindra178]

Do you think a friend said something to him? I know that ds1 is beginning to notice weight. He doesn't ever want to wear a shirt that's too short because he doesn't want anyone to see his tummy (which is non-existent).

Our ped is all about fruit and protein for snacks (no starchy carbs). Maybe you can approach healthy eating as you need protein, fruits and veggies to grow big and strong and other stuff is not bad but doesn't make you as strong? I am definitely not saying to cut out all treats (we do dessert every other day). I have told my kids that sugar doesn't make your body strong, but tired.

[pinkmomagain]

I might mention to pediatrician and get his thoughts. This is something I would want to nip in the bud.

[BunnyBee]

I'd chuck the scale. Try and tease out where this came from. A coach? That camp may be a bad fit. Would it help to get him in to see the ped? Call ahead with your issues. A medical professional saying you are healthy. You exercise? Great! Eat well? Great! Keep it up, kid, you're perfect.

[liz]

I might mention to pediatrician and get his thoughts. This is something I would want to nip in the bud.


I'd chuck the scale. Try and tease out where this came from. A coach? That camp may be a bad fit. Would it help to get him in to see the ped? Call ahead with your issues. A medical professional saying you are healthy. You exercise? Great! Eat well? Great! Keep it up, kid, you're perfect.

:yeahthat: My first thought was that he was getting this from his hockey camp. I would find out from the camp what exactly they are talking about in regards to diet/weight. Maybe it's nothing, but it does seem odd that an 8 year old boy would talk of body weight esp if that has not been an issue in the past.

[carolinacool]

I would find out from the camp what exactly they are talking about in regards to diet/weight.

Good point, although hockey players in general aren't small people. Seems like he (and his coaches) would see his athletic size as a positive. But I do agree that's a good place to start.

[smilequeen]

I'm trying to figure out where this came from, but so far I'm getting nowhere. His camp last week did a section on nutrition and he came home telling me good things to eat before and after games. He's been coming home happy and telling me how much fun he's having, so I'm kind of at a loss. I hate to think of someone teasing him for this. I was teased for this and I guess I stupidly thought I could avoid my kids going through that kind of hell since they are boys.

[KpbS]

I might mention to pediatrician and get his thoughts. This is something I would want to nip in the bud.


I'd chuck the scale. Try and tease out where this came from. A coach? That camp may be a bad fit. Would it help to get him in to see the ped? Call ahead with your issues. A medical professional saying you are healthy. You exercise? Great! Eat well? Great! Keep it up, kid, you're perfect.

:yeahthat: to ALL of the above.

I bet a "friend" pointed out his belly to him, maybe even teased him about it and that is where it started. My mom mentioned how absolutely skinny DS1 was once and how he needed to gain weight and it has taken years of reminding him he is built perfectly for how he is made. He eats great, he is fairly active, etc. but the remarks were made when he was becoming more aware and self-conscious about his body and he internalized them, concluding something was "wrong" with his body/shape. So frustrating.

I would talk about how strong he is, how athletic, and how athletes must eat well and sleep enough to be at the top of their games. While football isn't a perfect sport you can point out how those players need to eat lots of calories because they train so hard (running, lifting weights, practice, etc.) and they are "big" guys.

And yeah, get rid of the scale. Hide it where he can't find it or put it in the attic or something.

I would definitely mention to the ped if you feel like they would be receptive to your concerns or simply ask for a referral for child psych.

Big hugs, :hug:.