Only 3 kids showed up for DD's b-day party

[lkoala]

I invited at least 12 and 6 rsvp'd that they would come. Out of those, one got sick and two just didn't show up. DD was quite sad that her friends didn't come. One mother of one of DD's favorite friends, didn't even bother to open the evite even though i had emailed her a month ago to see if they could make it.

Ugh, so done with inconsiderate people. But on the other hand, so grateful for those that came. But still feeling sad for DD. She doesn't have any close friends around here and no siblings so these parties are really a chance for her to socialize. Maybe next year we'll just go on vacation.

[petesgirl]

Ahh, big hugs to both of you!! That is so hard. I just back from my cousin's wedding reception and he had a very, very sparse turn out also, so I know that bummed feeling.

[lkoala]

Ahh, big hugs to both of you!! That is so hard. I just back from my cousin's wedding reception and he had a very, very sparse turn out also, so I know that bummed feeling.

Oh dear, that is even worse. Birthdays come every year but weddings are once in a lifetime. Kids are resilient but being mama, i hate to see her sad. Big hugs to you and your cousin.

[elektra]

My DS attended a birthday party yesterday for a classmate he had in preschool this past school year. Only 3 kids showed up, and I think the mom probably invited the whole class. She held it at a park, during what would have been their regular school hours on a Friday.
I think it might just be that it is harder in the summer, and people have summer camps or vacations or whatever.
I am sorry for your DD. I have a summer birthday too, and I don't think I ever had big parties with schoolmates when I was in elementary school. I can only remember 1 party like that.

[sarahsthreads]

That happened to us last year for DD2's party - including the close friend who was supposedly available and then didn't come - and I know exactly how heartbroken you must feel for your DD. :(

:hug:

Sarah

[citymama]

Ugh! How frustrating. I hope the four kids had a fantastic time together!

[hillview]

so sorry, I hope DD had a great time. DSs both have summer bdays, we started to do bday parties before school gets out (for DS1) and after school starts (DS2) as we had HORRIBLE turn out before.

[123LuckyMom]

Friends of ours whose daughter AND son both have Christmas birthdays always hold their parties in the spring so people can come. Summer and holiday birthdays can be tough! I hope your DD had fun with the kids that did come. Happy Birthday to her!!!

[SnuggleBuggles]

That happened to us one year too. Big ((((hugs)))))

[westwoodmom04]

I'm so sorry that you and your dd had this experience. It is very typical for summer birthdays; my ds has a summer birthday and after one disappointing year of trying to hold his birthday party after school was out, never again.

[wellyes]

I'm so sorry. I hope she had some fun at the party.

[specialp]

That's heartbreaking. I hope your DD had a great time. My nephew had a b'day party one year that fell on Mother's Day weekend and there was such a low turnout, but I think it bothered us more than it did him.

[BunnyBee]

I'm sorry. :(

When people don't open evites, I will email or call to follow up. Sometimes it goes to spam or just gets missed. It's possible the mom didn't get it vs her being rude. Still sucks for DD. I hope she had a blast with the kids who came.

[PZMommy]

I'm sorry. That is heartbreaking!! A few months back, my DS was the only one to show up to a classmates birthday party, and the entire class of 12 had been invited. My DS has a summer birthday and I was so afraid of no shows, so we decided to skip having a party and take a day trip to Disneyland instead. In all honesty, I would do that again in a heartbeat. He didn't miss having a party.

[Sweetum]

so sorry this happened - I feel only the people on BBB are considerate with these things. I sure hope your DD had fun with those who did come.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

i'm sorry. my DS's birthday is 2 weeks after Christmas, so his bday parties will always have a not-so-great turnout. everyone is sick and/or burned out from the holidays plus it's cold so we can't even do pool parties, splash parks or any of the "fun" stuff outside that draws people to want to attend parties. this year i had booked a train to come to give rides but we had to reschedule it bc DS himself was sick plus it was going to rain. in my case though, i am lucky because my DS doesn't really care re: the turnout. Like if literally nobody showed to his party he would.not.care as long as there was cake and presents and his Nana and Papa were there. He is very much the eccentric rather anti-social preschooler (much like DH). OTOH i can see how in a few years DD would be sad if her friends not being there at her party. I am glad her bday is in March!

i agree with PP sometimes people miss evites. i was going thru my spam folder and i was surprised how much stuff was in there that wasn't spam. if someone said she really wanted to come and didn't open the evite i would totally follow up..i don't think it would be rude to do so. i could see myself missing something like that.

[ZeeBaby]

So sorry for your DD. DD1 has a later June bday and I have decided that we will do cupcakes for her class before class ends and a party with a few friends before school is out. These things are so hard, but hopefully with some slight adjustments she can have more people next year.

[lkoala]

You know what... I feel much better today. Thank you all for your kind words. I am so grateful to have this place to come to where everyone understands. I think the idea of doing the party in the spring is the way to go and i will try that next year.

P.s. DD is busy playing with her new toys and seems pretty content.

[PZMommy]

Not sure how old your DD is, but I'm a teacher and I always offer to celebrate summer birthdays before school ends. This past year I had tons of summer birthdays and we had a birthday treat almost everyday the last two weeks of school. I bet if you ask your DD's teacher she would allow an early celebration.

[ilfaith]

As a mom to three summer babies (with a summer birthday of my own) I know how hard summer birthday parties can be. DS1 wanted to have a smaller party (rather than hosting the entire class)...we invited seven boys from his class...only three RSVP'ed yes (and one was a no-show on party day)...plus his two best friends from his old school (both of whom were on family trips that weekend). I actually added a couple of other friends less than a week before the party (because there was an 8-kid minimum...so I'd be paying for them anyway...and we ended up adding his two little brothers (even though they were too small for the go-karts) just to get close to the minimum.

DS3 was in a preschool class where they girls outnumbered boys 2-1. We invited the entire class, but NONE of the boys were able to come to his party. Fortunately, I have a couple of friends in the neighborhood who have two or three sons close aged 2-6, and they were able to join us, so DS wasn't the only guest not in a pink bathing suit. We went to a party for one of his classmates a couple of weeks ago and only a handful of kids showed up, and DS was the only boy.

We are actually going to be on OUR vacation for DS2's birthday (we almost always travel the beginning of August, since school starts the middle of the month.) I haven't started planning a party for him, but think I ought to wait until school starts up again. Of course then there is the question of whether to invite the kids from his new class (who he will hardly know) or the kids from his class last year (most of whom he hasn't seen all summer).

And what drives me crazy with evites is when you can see that somebody opened and looked at the evite, but still never bothers to respond one way or another. How hard is it to click "Yes" or "No"...especially when you get a couple of reminders about the party.

[Binkandabee]

It's VERY hard. We experienced something similar recently and I know for sure I was sadder than my DD was. We invited her whole class and 4 kids showed up, 2 that had RSVP'D were no shows without any explanation, and I never even heard from the other 10.

[vonfirmath]

We are actually going to be on OUR vacation for DS2's birthday (we almost always travel the beginning of August, since school starts the middle of the month.) I haven't started planning a party for him, but think I ought to wait until school starts up again. Of course then there is the question of whether to invite the kids from his new class (who he will hardly know) or the kids from his class last year (most of whom he hasn't seen all summer).

And what drives me crazy with evites is when you can see that somebody opened and looked at the evite, but still never bothers to respond one way or another. How hard is it to click "Yes" or "No"...especially when you get a couple of reminders about the party.

For my August 3rd birthday, we are planning to do a late September/early October party. Gives him a chance to reconnect with the new folk in the new class and not deal with the HEAT of summer.

(And I'm pondering just calling it a "celebration" and not a birthday party. We don't want gifts.)

[BabyBearsMom]

I'm so sorry. Your poor DD.

[alexsmommy]

I agree, summer birthdays are hard. I remember thinking it would be great, we could do something outside or a pool party... but then the reality of vacations and other commitments made me see it differently. I polled DS2's closest friends and we chose the date based on that. We also had it two weeks before his birthday since the actual date is too close to the 4th of July for us to count on anyone coming. I was willing to do in as far as three weeks on either side to maximize attendance.
I hope your DD had fun nonetheless.

[janine]

Summer birthdays are hard but I just cannot understand how someone RSVP's and is a no show! They are all moms, how can they do that?! I've been to 2 summer b'days this year, all were well attended, I never thought of it as a big detriment.

I'm sorry OP although it sounds like your DD bounced back. Next time maybe double the invites to hedge your bets or have family on hand (cousins etc) in case? .

[lkoala]

Summer birthdays are hard but I just cannot understand how someone RSVP's and is a no show! They are all moms, how can they do that?! I've been to 2 summer b'days this year, all were well attended, I never thought of it as a big detriment.

I'm sorry OP although it sounds like your DD bounced back. Next time maybe double the invites to hedge your bets or have family on hand (cousins etc) in case? .

That's the thing, they are all moms. At the very least they could make some excuse for not showing up. I think DD is still upset but not overtly. I wish she had cousins her own age. She only has 2 cousins and they are both over 5 years older than her and there are only 2 neighboring kids that are her age (they were out of town for her birthday too). I just feel like I have failed her.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I really bet she'll take her cue from you about being happy or disappointed. I'd put on a happy face and play up how fun it was to celebrate with her 3 friends. My ds1 was far less upset than me with our poorly attended party.

[crl]

I am so sorry. Summer birthdays are hard. We held ds' party three weeks early this year so it was before the end of the school year.

Catherine

[lkoala]

I really bet she'll take her cue from you about being happy or disappointed. I'd put on a happy face and play up how fun it was to celebrate with her 3 friends. My ds1 was far less upset than me with our poorly attended party.

You are so right. This is a good teaching moment because there are going to be other disappointments in life and she will need to learn to bounce back from them and I need to be the example. Thank you.

[HonoluluMom]

P.s. DD is busy playing with her new toys and seems pretty content.

Wow, that's very inconsiderate of the no shows! I'm glad that your DD is having fun with her new toys!

[YouAreTheFocus]

This is definitely the most stressful aspect of kids' birthday parties. I'm sorry you had just the 3 kids, and I don't even know what to say about the no shows! So rude. Last year we (unknowingly) scheduled DS's party for the same day/time as another classmate's party (to which he wasn't invited). I was broken hearted at the thought of no one showing up for his party!

[rlu]

FWIW, DS loves seeing his cousins (8 and 11 years older than him) so maybe having the cousins would be a treat.

[emily_gracesmama]

Summer birthdays are so rough. Katie's 4th she had 3 kids show up out of the entire class. 2 canceled last minute. And we had a whole bounce place! But she still had fun. I was more disappointed than she was. This year we are trying again for a party and so far seems like we will have a good turnout thankfully. Better luck next time and I'm sure your dd still had fun!

[oneplustwo]

I'm so sorry for all the no-shows. As for the mom who never opened the email, there's a chance that somehow the email never reached her. I was on the flip side a few months ago, when my kids were invited to a birthday party via evite. I only found out about it after the party when a mutual friend said she had seen my name on the invite list. I contacted the host mom to let her know we had never gotten the evite (and I checked every single which way to make sure I hadn't somehow missed it). Apparently the host mom used the wrong email address for me. My boys were bummed to miss the party! DD has a summer birthday, so we're familiar with its challenges. She's older now and has smaller parties; I find it easiest to check in with her closest friends she wants to have for her party, give several dates for options and pick the date that works the best from that.

[carolinacool]

I'm so sorry about that. My DS goes to a full-time day care, and class parties are not common at all. He's been there over three years, and has been invited to three parties total, and I know the whole class was invited to each. The last two we've attended, he's been the only one to show. We're talking classes of 9 and 10 kids. In all three cases, the invitations were actual invites put in their cubbies, so not easy to get lost. I felt really bad for the families but also in both cases there was another child that they knew from somewhere else, so each one ended up with three kids total. And the kids all had fun. Parents definitely notice more than kids.