wendibird22
07-21-2013, 01:27 PM
DH and I had a great date night planned for Friday that included an outdoor concert a city away, a free car service to/from, and the ILs taking both girls for an overnight at their house. Blissful right?! It turned out to be a series of misfortunes that had us just laughing at the absurdity by the end of the night.
So here's how it went:
1. Driver shows up 30 min early and we are still eating dinner. We cram down dinner and quick clean the dishes because we feel bad that he's hanging out in an Escalade in our driveway in 95 deg heat.
2. Driver goes 5mph UNDER the highway speed limit the entire time. We are being passed by old people and tractor trailers (which he used to drive for a living). It's the longest trip to this city we've ever had. Oh and he stopped at a rest stop to use the bathroom along the way.
3. Get to venue and parking is horrible. There's probably 10-15k people parking in a dirt lot. We are directed to the very last overflow lot about 3mi from the venue. Our driver asks and is told there's no limo lot and he can't get us closer. He apologizes and we proceed to walk the 3mi to the venue.
4. About 1/2 there DH and I both really REALLY have to go to the bathroom. As does several hundred other people who have taken to peeing in the tall brush along side the road. DH and I weigh our options and fear the line to get into the venue and the line for the porta potties and against all by being I take to the brush too. Mortified. It was like the walk of shame. So I'm trying not to pee on my shorts or legs or sandals. Fun times. Secretly wishing I was the kind of girl who wore a dress and gone commando.
5. Get into venue with relative ease and the place is huge so it doesn't feel too crowded. We head to the porta potty alley as a precaution. There's got to be 50+ of them lined up and it's every man for himself trying to get into an open one. Have I mentioned that I'm in day two of AF? Well I'm not about to have to tend to my needs in a porta potty after dark so it was then or never. Secretly wishing I was the kind of girl who used a diva cup.
6. We've now missed the opening act.
7. Find a nice open space in site of the stage and wait for the main act. Things are good. DH and I had each had two adult beverages in the car and don't feel the need to buy anything. But clearly this is a crowd (despite being and act that appeals to the 30, 40, 50 something crowd) that likes to drink and the intoxication is becoming apparent. Very apparent.
8. Three songs into the main act the sky opens up and it begins to rain cats and dogs. I'm soaked to the skin within seconds. DH and I race to our Escalade which is now parked at the venue entrance cause driver found out there was in fact limo parking right up front despite being told otherwise. So thankfully we didn't have 3mi back to the car but it didn't matter we are sitting on leather and creating puddles but we can still hear the music.
9. Two minutes later the stage loses most power though mics are working so the lead singer begins a 20 monologue to entertain whatever crowd remains while they try to fix it.
10. Band is back in business and the rain has stopped. Excellent. DH goes to find a spot were we can see the stage because no one is being allowed readmittance. While he's off with that a 20something decides to pee ON our Escalade. Yes, while I'm sitting in the back seat with windows down he's taking a leak on the rear passenger tire. Along side him in the next limo over is a 60something guy with a beer gut dropping his pants because as he exclaims, his underwear is stuck to his a$$. I text DH to return to the vehicle stat!
11. After one more song (so 4 songs total) the venue comes on says another severe storm is headed this way, show is cancelled and please vacate ASAP. So now we hit the road with all those crazy drunks who've been drinking for hours because you have to get there hours early because of the bad parking and just tailgate all night.
12. Proceed to drive 5-10mi under the speed limit entire way home with another rest stop bathroom break for our driver.
13. Give driver generous tip based on full night even though we ended the night early. Thankful the car itself was free because it was a gift certificate.
Did I mention this was a pretty expensive concert ticket? Did I mention that I don't even like the group all that much but it was on DHs bucket list?
The one great thing that did remain was an empty house. Kids were at ILs. We slept in and had coffee and breakfast in peace. They say the concert is being rescheduled. Which is nice. But we won't have a babysitter or car service again and given our busy schedule I wouldn't be surprised if it was scheduled for a night we can't attend.
You win some. You lose some. And some you just have to laugh at.
So here's how it went:
1. Driver shows up 30 min early and we are still eating dinner. We cram down dinner and quick clean the dishes because we feel bad that he's hanging out in an Escalade in our driveway in 95 deg heat.
2. Driver goes 5mph UNDER the highway speed limit the entire time. We are being passed by old people and tractor trailers (which he used to drive for a living). It's the longest trip to this city we've ever had. Oh and he stopped at a rest stop to use the bathroom along the way.
3. Get to venue and parking is horrible. There's probably 10-15k people parking in a dirt lot. We are directed to the very last overflow lot about 3mi from the venue. Our driver asks and is told there's no limo lot and he can't get us closer. He apologizes and we proceed to walk the 3mi to the venue.
4. About 1/2 there DH and I both really REALLY have to go to the bathroom. As does several hundred other people who have taken to peeing in the tall brush along side the road. DH and I weigh our options and fear the line to get into the venue and the line for the porta potties and against all by being I take to the brush too. Mortified. It was like the walk of shame. So I'm trying not to pee on my shorts or legs or sandals. Fun times. Secretly wishing I was the kind of girl who wore a dress and gone commando.
5. Get into venue with relative ease and the place is huge so it doesn't feel too crowded. We head to the porta potty alley as a precaution. There's got to be 50+ of them lined up and it's every man for himself trying to get into an open one. Have I mentioned that I'm in day two of AF? Well I'm not about to have to tend to my needs in a porta potty after dark so it was then or never. Secretly wishing I was the kind of girl who used a diva cup.
6. We've now missed the opening act.
7. Find a nice open space in site of the stage and wait for the main act. Things are good. DH and I had each had two adult beverages in the car and don't feel the need to buy anything. But clearly this is a crowd (despite being and act that appeals to the 30, 40, 50 something crowd) that likes to drink and the intoxication is becoming apparent. Very apparent.
8. Three songs into the main act the sky opens up and it begins to rain cats and dogs. I'm soaked to the skin within seconds. DH and I race to our Escalade which is now parked at the venue entrance cause driver found out there was in fact limo parking right up front despite being told otherwise. So thankfully we didn't have 3mi back to the car but it didn't matter we are sitting on leather and creating puddles but we can still hear the music.
9. Two minutes later the stage loses most power though mics are working so the lead singer begins a 20 monologue to entertain whatever crowd remains while they try to fix it.
10. Band is back in business and the rain has stopped. Excellent. DH goes to find a spot were we can see the stage because no one is being allowed readmittance. While he's off with that a 20something decides to pee ON our Escalade. Yes, while I'm sitting in the back seat with windows down he's taking a leak on the rear passenger tire. Along side him in the next limo over is a 60something guy with a beer gut dropping his pants because as he exclaims, his underwear is stuck to his a$$. I text DH to return to the vehicle stat!
11. After one more song (so 4 songs total) the venue comes on says another severe storm is headed this way, show is cancelled and please vacate ASAP. So now we hit the road with all those crazy drunks who've been drinking for hours because you have to get there hours early because of the bad parking and just tailgate all night.
12. Proceed to drive 5-10mi under the speed limit entire way home with another rest stop bathroom break for our driver.
13. Give driver generous tip based on full night even though we ended the night early. Thankful the car itself was free because it was a gift certificate.
Did I mention this was a pretty expensive concert ticket? Did I mention that I don't even like the group all that much but it was on DHs bucket list?
The one great thing that did remain was an empty house. Kids were at ILs. We slept in and had coffee and breakfast in peace. They say the concert is being rescheduled. Which is nice. But we won't have a babysitter or car service again and given our busy schedule I wouldn't be surprised if it was scheduled for a night we can't attend.
You win some. You lose some. And some you just have to laugh at.