not just a B but also made me a bit sad

[Sweetum]

One DH's relatives, really close cousin, had a baby a few weeks ago. Given how close she is we thought she would be asking us more stuff. She didn't and we figured she wants to do it her way. And that's me. I like to do things my way and I understood that. She asked for a bunch of baby stuff and we gave her all we had. I had a conversation with her over the weekend, just checking in and asked who her ped was. she told me a name, and told me that that was a referral from someone really really not close to them. Never once had she asked us about our ped. And I mentioned to her that I had interviewed a couple and then decided. And she defended herself saying she just got the referrals and went from there.

This is someone who knows about DS' issues and I know that she was trying to avoid all similarities. While that in itself made me sad, I didn't let it affect me and my attitude towards her and never pushed any advice on her unless she asked for it. But today it just felt like a slap when she told me about some random people's recommendation, that she had not even met the ped in person before her DS was born, and was actually defensive about it.

I know some of you think that I am probably too sensitive about DS' disability, and I am. I cannot help but be sensitive to how some of this family looks at him and tries to avoid him. It just makes me feel sad for DS, for myself (yeah self pity...!) and for my family - that we are considered such a broken family/parents and there is nothing I can do to change it and there is nothing that I can do to avoid them. honestly, that crossed my mind too...

anyways, b!tCh over. back to regular programming, I hope.

[crl]

I am so sorry you are sad. :hug:

Catherine

[hillview]

hugs I am sorry

[JustMe]

Sorry you have to deal with this. I wonder if being a parent will change your cousin's view of things in a more positive way towards your ds. I think many first time parents discover that things are not as simple as they once thought.

[Still-in-Shock]

It always floors me when people don't do adequate research about the most important things, and will take advice from a stranger instead. But to do that so that just to be different is really uncaring. I am sorry you have deal with this, and I am hoping this cousin is just overwhelmed by becoming a parent to have been this inconsiderate.

I don't know your story (or don't remember it - that's happening quite a bit right now), but if you are doing the best you can for your son, then that's all that matters.

[petesgirl]

Sorry you have to deal with this. I wonder if being a parent will change your cousin's view of things in a more positive way towards your ds. I think many first time parents discover that things are not as simple as they once thought.

Yes, parenting did have a humbling effect on me at least! All those things you think you can control you soon realize you can't! Hopefully she will come around and realize how much you and your precious DS have to offer!

[Gena]

I'm sorry you have relatives who do not understand and appreciate the wonderful person your DS is. I have insensitive family members too. It's painful. Hugs.

[Sweetum]

Thank you, all. I feel bad for b!tcHing about a new mom, but I think this was a storm in the making. well, at least it didn't turn out to be storm, and will hopefully pass. I know that DH had been getting that from time to time (his relatives, so he is more forthcoming with the unsolicited advice to them) throughout her pregnancy, and he kinda indicated it to me but never really said anything. He is too much in love with his family to come clean with me, and I, well, let him suffer. And when it came to me I came here. thank you all.
Also, I think it is time for me to admit here that I was super horrible right after DS was born and my mom was at the receiving end. she is a wonderful woman - I wish I had that realization growing up. Both my parents and my siblings are my biggest support and I thank God for them every day.