Thanks for the great birthday...

[glbb35]

Today is my birthday and I can't see where it has been anything but a normal day. DH did nothing, planned nothing and just said "oh happy birthday" in passing this morning. He worked from home today and after me working this morning, I have done nothing but clean for a birthday party tomorrow for DS#5. I understand he wasn't brought up to believe birthdays and other "holidays" are really anything special but it would be nice to be at least thought of. I get the most upset in regards to the kids. HE is teaching them to do nothing. I don't like that all. I am not sure how to handle that in regards to the kids. Of course their special days are special and I make sure of that. I don't want a present, I don't really need anything material. I am just not a materialistic person. I would have liked a hand made card though and at least more of something to make it special. I have to bake a cake for DS's b-day tomorrow so I asked DH to go to the grocery store so I could clean. He asked me if I wanted to have him bring home any special dinner or something "since it is my birthday". I told him sure and then he asked me what I wanted. I told him to choose and he said if I didn't know when he was going to stick to items on the list. He said he could go get some "fancy" food but I told him no at that point. There was no need to at the last minute to go buy an expensive meal just to say you did it.

How do you, if you have a spouse like this handle these type of situations with your kids? I told DH that bkfst in bed or them all waking me up together or something like that would have been great and require little thought. He just rolled his eyes. I am the only girl in the house. I told him it would be nice to be treated like a princess at least once in a while. He laughed. I have grown used to this in regards to the birthdays and such. I blame his parents. Not sure why they do this but whatever. I will be surprised if his mom even shows up for DS's b-day. and SIL, I had to practically make her give her child a first birthday and beyond. But she sure does like to have her b-day acknowledged!

Hmmm, I guess I will go watch some TV until DH gets home and I can bake a cake for DS.

B

DS 03, 06, twins 09, 11

[boogiemomz]

Well, that just stinks. :( I'm so sorry you don't feel acknowledged on your birthday. Allow me to wish you a very happy one, though I wish it had been happier for you. (((HUGS)))

[Radswd]

I am so sorry. I would be irritated with DH, too! My own DH lacks in this department as well but sporadically so. I say do something nice for yourself. Hopefully your children will follow your example of celebrating people and not his! Happy Birthday & remember it's ok to extend it. Maybe treat yourself to something this weekend?

[babyonway]

Hugs to you. You deserve a special day!!!
Happy birthday from all of us on BBB!


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[Mermanaid]

I'm sorry it wasn't as special as you wanted. Know the feeling.

Happy birthday!

[Sweetum]

Happy Birthday!!! celebrate by yourself - pour yourself a glass of wine ;)

[citymama]

That totally stinks! Boo. But happy birthday from the BBB crew, and hope you do something special for yourself if your DH won't! Give yourself a belated birthday treat if you're prepping for the party today. Cheers to you! :54:

[elizabethkott]

That sucks!!
Happy Birthday from all of us here!!!


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[liz]

Happy Belated Birthday :cheerleader1::cheerleader1::cheerleader1:!!!

I am sorry your birthday wasn't what you hoped. That sucks, you deserve better :hug:

[elephantmeg]

Happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DH is the same way. I know how much it hurts. I generally cry sometime around my birthday (and I'm a cry-er), DH is from here, his family lives here so his b-days always involve lots of family, friends, it's easy to do a party for him, etc. I am not from here, my family does not live here, my brother doesn't even text me to wish me a happy birthday, my parents waited to call me until after I was at work-and I didn't have my phone on me when they called... and DH doesn't make any effort to do a party etc and if he does my friends don't generally make any effort to come!

here's an unsolicited story that you can ignore...

I've learned that I have to pull something together if I want anything. For this year I knew I had to work night shift that night so I sent both kids to daycare (generally DS only goes the day after I work nights), made a pedi appointment (first since last year), did some shopping for stuff I wanted, DH offered to take me to lunch after I was sad that a friend bailed on me (see the part about friends who don't generally even come to parties!). Then I planned that we would go out for supper and then get ice cream before I had to go to work. I know that I'm lucky that I do have daycare as an option for my kids and not everyone does but I think if I hadn't I still would have planned something fun for us all to do... of course how easy that is with a 2 year old I don't know!

This is my way of teaching the kids that everyone's b-day is special. DH did have them make cards that morning and we did celebrate together as a family, and DS (who doesn't particularly like to go to daycare) knew that even mommies deserve time off. I hope you can take a couple hours some day and do a re-do. You deserve it. Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!

[123LuckyMom]

We have a rule in our house: everyone gets a cake with candles on it for their birthday. This is DH's rule, which is odd, because he is much like your husband. Maybe you could make a rule like this.

In my house, if I want celebrations to happen, I carry them out. There's nothing wrong with your kids knowing that not everybody places the same importance on the same things. DH may not make a big deal, but you do. You can even let them know that you expect that they will make a big deal, too. In my house, if I want DH to do something for me, I have to tell him exactly what I want. I also sometimes explain to him that he doesn't have to think my wants are reasonable, he just needs to know that they are important to me and do them to please me, not because he agrees that they are important! I know it's not as much fun if you have to ask, but with some people, these kinds of things are just not their strength.

I'm sorry your birthday was a bit of a bust, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! There are lots of people in this world who are very glad you were born and agree that you deserve to be celebrated!

[ged]

Happy Birthday. I feel your pain and am already dreading my big 4-0 next year b/c I know I will be so disappointed!

Please go do something fantastic for yourself! You more than deserve it!