Why is this so hard for DH??

[petesgirl]

Why can't he do bedtime duty on the 2 days I work nights? no matter how much past DS's bedtime I get home, he is still up and wild as ever. I walk in and immediately dim the lights and start bedtime prep, but why is it always MY responsibility? DH works nights, too, so I do bedtime myself the other 5 days of the week. Is it really going to kill him to put DS to bed twice a week? I have told him how important it is for DS's sleeping habits for him to stay on a consistent schedule. I have told him that it is much harder to get DS settled down and in bed when he is tired. I have mentioned that the reason DS is always grumpy on Sunday morning is because he consistently gets to bed 2 hrs late on Saturday night. And tonight, as DH was walking out the door for work, he asked what he can do to be a better husband. I said, "well, I would ask you to put DS to bed but you don't have time now." He just said he would take bedtime duty tomorrow night. Ha. I'll believe that when I see it!

(But at least DH cleaned the bathrooms tonight like I asked him to!)

[sarahsthreads]

I really feel for you. Lately mine just tells the kids to go to bed on nights he's "on duty" and I'm at work. Great in theory, but not so much in practice. I realize they're a bit older (5 and 8) but still...saying "go get ready for bed and go to sleep" to a 5 year old? Maybe there's a rare 5 year old out there that can completely put themselves to bed, but ours is not one of them. (Whatever happened to bedtime stories? Checking that teeth get brushed well? Hmmmm???)

And then he acts surprised that they're still up when I get home from work at 10 or 10:30..."well, I told them to go to bed!"

I'm not sure why he doesn't get that his expectations at bedtime are just not entirely age-appropriate, especially because he didn't start this ridiculousness until this summer. Maybe he just figures since it's summer it doesn't matter if we keep them on any sort of schedule? But that can't be entirely true because he gets irritated when I let them sleep in the mornings after they're up so late. (Because *I'm* not dealing with grumpy children all day just because he didn't put them to bed at a reasonable hour!) I'm just hoping a return to the school year (and me having to be focused on the new baby during those witching hours at night) will help him remember some better bedtime parenting strategies!

I totally get that moms and dads tend to parent differently, and I try to be completely hands-off about how he accomplishes things with the kids as long as they're safe and happy, but as the kids have gotten older I've definitely had more "what were you *thinking*?!?" thoughts about some of the things he does.

Sarah :)

[Gracemom]

My DH does the same! I finally resorted to telling him to text me when our youngest is in bed so it's safe for me to come home. I have made it very clear to my DH that he needs to put them to bed instead of just letting them play/watch TV. I just can't do it every night!

[jjjo1112]

Can you write out a bedtime routine with times for him to follow- something like 6:30pm bath/pj's, 7:00pm in bed for 2 books, 7:15pm lights off- whatever your routine is so he has specific directions?

[maestramommy]

Can you write out a bedtime routine with times for him to follow- something like 6:30pm bath/pj's, 7:00pm in bed for 2 books, 7:15pm lights off- whatever your routine is so he has specific directions?

YEAH THAT! If I were in your shoes Dh would definitely need specific directions in this situation, esp. if he didn't normally do this, or even do this most of the time.

[hillview]

Honestly this was/has been a battle for us for YEARS. I have tried my very hardest to let it go as DH cannnot seem to get the kids to bed close to on time. It used to make me really annoyed. I am trying to be more zen about it.

[boogiemomz]

Oh man, that would drive me nuts! I love the come back that he "told them to go to bed." Classic. My DH is actually pretty good about doing bedtime when he's home to do it, except that every. single. time. without fail he falls asleep in her bed. Usually before she does. Which she, of course, LOVES. And which I don't love, when it's my next turn to do bedtime and I want to get OUT of there and have my little tiny bit of blissful down time, but she wants me to lie with her for "just another minute."