Anyone else getting cold feet?

[sarahsthreads]

As everyone around me treats me like a ticking time bomb (seriously, that's getting old) I'm starting to get cold feet about the actual delivery...

I had a very medical first birth that ended in a c/s. And then after doing a LOT of research and taking a childbirth course that was not in any way affiliated with the hospital and hiring a doula, I had a fast and furious VBAC that was completely unmedicated. And up until now I've been feeling like "hey, I did this before, I can do it again."

But we didn't take any sort of refresher course, and to be honest last time everything happened so quickly that I didn't really use any of the relaxation or coping techniques we had learned. I sort of vaguely remember just trying not fight what my body was doing and not be so vocal I scared away the rest of the laboring moms. ;)

And it's been 5 years.

So now I'm sort of feeling like I don't have the tools for this and I'm slightly terrified.

Anyone else? Or words of wisdom? Or a good website for a "crash refresher" in relaxation techniques??

Sarah

[SnuggleBuggles]

I took prenatal yoga classes when pg w ds2. In just about 2-3 classes we practiced toning. Ahh, ohhh, mmmm. And she taught us how the natural instinct to pain is to tighten up and that makes it worse. So during a contraction you need to focus on keeping your jaw loose and relax your face. It really works! I even use it now when I try to fall asleep. The toning forces your face to relax too.

My dh was a great help too. He read Penny Simkins Birth Partner. I didn't wind up needing him much but the fact that he was prepared and probably keeping things in good shape behind the scenes was helpful.

You really can do it. :)

[georgiegirl]

I had an amazing all natural birth with DS and I'm worried this one wont go as well. I did hypnobabies with him and this time I haven't been good about doing it regularly. The best thing about hypnobabies is that it emphasizes a positive outlook. Remember that your body can do this. Every contraction is one step closer to baby's arrival. Try to relax through the contractions and not fight them. I think everything will be okay. I often feel like my worries about birth are my biggest enemy.

[Philly Mom]

It will be ok and is totally normal to be nervous now. Whatever the birth story is, there is a baby at the end. I think you nailed it when you said you just need to not fight your body and let it help you deliver. If the pain is too much, there is nothing wrong with an epidural so don't put too much pressure on yourself as I think that can make it harder. Full disclosure, after my first full pelvic examine in the delivery room, it hurt so much and the md wanted to start pitocin because my water broke hours before, that i insisted on an epidural. I think the epidural and the nurse who moved my body around to get the baby to move helped me with a vaginal birth because it allowed me to stay more relaxed and rested. From watching various friends go through labor over summer months, it seems those that accidentally got dehydrated during labor were most likely to need a C. I had a few friends labor at home to increase their chances of an unmediated birth but just did not drink enough. By the time they got to the hospital exhausted, their mds insisted on a C. So drink lots and try to stay rested and relaxed. Good luck!! I am sure I will be feeling the same in 11 weeks.

[sarahsthreads]

I took prenatal yoga classes when pg w ds2. In just about 2-3 classes we practiced toning. Ahh, ohhh, mmmm. And she taught us how the natural instinct to pain is to tighten up and that makes it worse. So during a contraction you need to focus on keeping your jaw loose and relax your face. It really works! I even use it now when I try to fall asleep. The toning forces your face to relax too.
I totally remember the bit about relaxing your jaw - I definitely did that! Honestly, I think that might have been part of why things went so fast - I went from 4cm when they first checked me in triage to 10cm in something ridiculously short like 40 minutes. It was the pushing bit I couldn't quite coordinate well (that took about an hour) because I hadn't done it successfully before.


I often feel like my worries about birth are my biggest enemy.
Me too. I'm half convinced that's why I haven't gone into labor yet. :) Although now I'd like to him to wait until next weekend, because the logistics of everything would be so much less complicated if DH is home!


It will be ok and is totally normal to be nervous now. Whatever the birth story is, there is a baby at the end. I think you nailed it when you said you just need to not fight your body and let it help you deliver. If the pain is too much, there is nothing wrong with an epidural so don't put too much pressure on yourself as I think that can make it harder. Full disclosure, after my first full pelvic examine in the delivery room, it hurt so much and the md wanted to start pitocin because my water broke hours before, that i insisted on an epidural. I think the epidural and the nurse who moved my body around to get the baby to move helped me with a vaginal birth because it allowed me to stay more relaxed and rested. From watching various friends go through labor over summer months, it seems those that accidentally got dehydrated during labor were most likely to need a C. I had a few friends labor at home to increase their chances of an unmediated birth but just did not drink enough. By the time they got to the hospital exhausted, their mds insisted on a C. So drink lots and try to stay rested and relaxed. Good luck!! I am sure I will be feeling the same in 11 weeks.
All good advice! Honestly I'd prefer to avoid an epidural if at all humanly possible for a bunch of reasons...but mostly that my pain threshold is far higher than my needle tolerance. ;) Honestly, the ABSOLUTE worst part of DD1's birth was the IV. I kid you not. And the hep-lock that they put in when I was in labor with DD2 (that had fallen out by the time she was born) was no picnic either. How sad is that? I'll definitely make sure to stay hydrated. And absolutely my primary goal (birth plan?) is to end with a healthy baby, whatever that takes!

Thanks for all of the words of encouragement.
Sarah :)

[KpbS]

I recently heard that if your water breaks you feel the contractions much more intensely than if it is broken after you have been in labor. My water broke with both DS1 and DS2 (emergency C) and DD was a planned C. I didn't have an epidural with DS1 but I wish that someone would have told me in advance that I really might have benefited from an epidural since my water broke so early on (at the very beginning of labor) and I was progressing soooo slowly. I was super nervous with DD because DS2's birth was a totally harrowing experience (a miracle!) and I had been out for the C with him. It sounds like you have a great attitude about L+D. I would just keep all of your options open and maybe making a playlist would help? Hugs! :hug:

[SnuggleBuggles]

I was able to get away with no IV or hep lock for both births. I was willing to sign whatever waiver was needed to avoid it as a matter of routine. I was way more stressed about those than labor. :).

Good luck!!!

[mikala]

I was able to get away with no IV or hep lock for both births. I was willing to sign whatever waiver was needed to avoid it as a matter of routine. I was way more stressed about those than labor. :).

Good luck!!!

The hospital where I delivered both of my children did not require them and I didn't have to sign anything. Hopefully your hospital and doctor can allow you to wait to see if there's a need for fluids or other interventions.

[Tondi G]

Don't stress... you'll be fine. It's like riding a bike!!! I too didn't have great experiences with a Hep lock and an iv. I told my husband I would do everything possible to avoid either one if we decided to go for #3! I know it's one of those things that hospitals like you to have just in case ... but it was a PITA so I would rather go without if at all possible.

[sarahsthreads]

The hospital where I delivered both of my children did not require them and I didn't have to sign anything. Hopefully your hospital and doctor can allow you to wait to see if there's a need for fluids or other interventions.

Already asked. Since I'm a going for a VBAC (already had a successful one, but once you have one c/s you're apparently a high-risk pregnancy ever after) the hospital absolutely requires at least a hep-lock, along with continuous monitoring. I guess I can live with those things (they have wireless monitors so I can be free to move about as I need/want to) because the midwife group I go to is as intervention-free as they can be within those restrictions.


Don't stress... you'll be fine. It's like riding a bike!!! I too didn't have great experiences with a Hep lock and an iv. I told my husband I would do everything possible to avoid either one if we decided to go for #3! I know it's one of those things that hospitals like you to have just in case ... but it was a PITA so I would rather go without if at all possible.

I'm not sure I remember how to ride a bike, it's been years! :)

But I'll try not to stress...I mean, between DH and the doula and my midwife (who, if it's like last time, will not actually ever leave the room) I'm going to have enough support. Hopefully someone will remind me how to breathe if needed!

Sarah :)

[ShanaMama]

I totally remember the bit about relaxing your jaw - I definitely did that! Honestly, I think that might have been part of why things went so fast - I went from 4cm when they first checked me in triage to 10cm in something ridiculously short like 40 minutes. It was the pushing bit I couldn't quite coordinate well (that took about an hour) because I hadn't done it successfully before.


Me too. I'm half convinced that's why I haven't gone into labor yet. :) Although now I'd like to him to wait until next weekend, because the logistics of everything would be so much less complicated if DH is home!


All good advice! Honestly I'd prefer to avoid an epidural if at all humanly possible for a bunch of reasons...but mostly that my pain threshold is far higher than my needle tolerance. ;) Honestly, the ABSOLUTE worst part of DD1's birth was the IV. I kid you not. And the hep-lock that they put in when I was in labor with DD2 (that had fallen out by the time she was born) was no picnic either. How sad is that? I'll definitely make sure to stay hydrated. And absolutely my primary goal (birth plan?) is to end with a healthy baby, whatever that takes!

Thanks for all of the words of encouragement.
Sarah :)
Another similarity between us ;) I am also far more fearful of an epidural than of labor. I've had small cavities filled without novicaine. To me the horrible shot is just not worth the pain relief. I have very difficult pregnancies, so the way I encourage mysef is that no matter how hard & intense labor gets it. Will. End. It doesn't last 40+ weeks thank goodness! Remember that you're a multip now, & according to the nurse who was afraid I was gonna shoot a baby across the room when she didn't have her kit ready (never mind I was totally not in labor) "multips go fast, I'm telling you, I know what I'm talking about!"

[hellokitty]

Gosh, I totally remember feeling this way with DS3's pregnancy. My first birth was ok, but I got bullied into getting an epidural, and then had to get pitocin of course. DS1 was such a sleepy baby though (BF was really rough, and then I discovered later that he also had a severe tongue tie and I had ductal thrush), that I was determined not to do an epidural again. So, I had a natural birth the second time and it went well and DS2 was one of those babies who would have crawled up to my boob if I gave birth to him out in the wild, lol. Natural born nurser! My doctor was extremely supportive (told me that it was a, "fun" birth to attend, since he never gets to do non-epidural births), and things went smoothly. For DS3, I knew I would go natural again, but I also had that cold feet feeling about it, like you, just kind of dreading it, kwim? I did ok, but this time ended up with a doctor that was a jerk (he kept trying to bully me into an epidural). The one thing that always kept me going during labor for my last two was that I knew that the pain was just temporary and as soon as it got really bad, I knew that would be the peak and things would get better after that. I know that's not a good way to relax (I'm not a person that is good about relaxation techniques), but it helped me to keep myself psyched and helped me to coach myself over that hump.