I hate homework

[niccig]

I feel like I'm doing this every afternoon :banghead::banghead::banghead:

DS is capable of doing it and it's not that much (1 math sheet and spelling). He says he doesn't care if he does it or not, if he gets in trouble or not.

I don't remember my mother having to fight me to do homework..

[Green_Tea]

My son is the exact same way. Totally doesn't care about consequences at school, and turns 10 minute tasks into 90 tantrums. I am dreading the first day of school tomorrow.

[niccig]

My son is the exact same way. Totally doesn't care about consequences at school, and turns 10 minute tasks into 90 tantrums. I am dreading the first day of school tomorrow.

And you're a teacher. If you can't get your son to do it, there's no way I can.

And yes, once the tantrum was over and I have to admit, I joined in on the tantrum - it was finished in 10 mins.

[o_mom]

With DS1, he would *say* he didn't care if he got in trouble, but by golly when I said "Fine. Don't do it. You get to explain to your teacher..." it somehow got done between home and school. I think at that age they are testing and bluffing to see what happens. I preferred to let him take the natural consequences at age 8 rather than having to stand over him to get it done for ten more years.

But, yes, it was infuriating to spend an hour arguing about doing 10 min of work.

[Mikey0709]

2nd day of school and FIRST day of homework.... I'm right there with you. I haaaattee it!!!!! I'm sick knowing the crying and fighting that may have to go on this year like last year. And we too have one math sheet and 10 minutes of spelling and reading. He also doesn't care of consequences and will not get it done before school.

Honestly wish he didn't have any. Gets off bus at 4 and needs to run and burn energy. I'm home 5:30, usually dinner by 6-6:30 and homework after so i can help him. By that time he's burnt out.... And the tantrums start even before the backpack is open. Have I said I hate it.... And I truly believe he gets nothing out of it.

[Green_Tea]

And you're a teacher. If you can't get your son to do it, there's no way I can.



There are many, many days that I think I'm a much more effective teacher than I am a parent. My teacher magic seems to vanish when I cross the threshold of my house.

Last year I made my son explain to his teacher why it wasn't done more than once. He didn't seem to mind having to do this. :shrug:

[ahisma]

My DD was the same way. My DH is a teacher. My MIL was a teacher. Both BILs are teachers, plus one SIL. My mom was a teacher. 2 of my grandparents and one of DH's grandparents were teachers.

I have no answers. It's getting better now that she's in high school, but I think that's because she's in a project based learning program and would sooner shave her head than embarrass herself in front of her group members. For years she would go to school with the work done (and verified by us) but then wouldn't turn it in. We tried everything we could think of - consequences, modeling, incentives, therapy, school action plans - you name it. Nothing worked.

[infocrazy]

My son is the exact same way. Totally doesn't care about consequences at school, and turns 10 minute tasks into 90 tantrums. I am dreading the first day of school tomorrow.

I do not want school to start. At least DS2 is easy and wants to finish before his brother...which is not difficult.

[JustMe]

So not looking forward to the start of homework. My kids actually go through the motion of doing it with little effort--little effort being the key word here. Getting them to apply what they know and put some effort into it is another story.

[egoldber]

You are in a new school with new expectations. You and he are both still figuring things out. He's likely overwhelmed (emotionally) and really drained when he gets home. I would ask him when he prefers to do the homework and experiment with different options. When *I* prefer my kids to do homework is not when they prefer it.

I also agree that it is OK to let him take the natural consequences of not completing homework. He may lose out on fun experiences at school if he does not do homework. So I would remind him, but not make it a battle.

I would also just give it some time to see what shakes out after a few weeks. If it continues to be a problem, I would ask the teacher for some advice and input.


Honestly wish he didn't have any. Gets off bus at 4 and needs to run and burn energy. I'm home 5:30, usually dinner by 6-6:30 and homework after so i can help him. By that time he's burnt out.... And the tantrums start even before the backpack is open. Have I said I hate it.... And I truly believe he gets nothing out of it.

:yeahthat: I try to keep in perspective that there is really almost no value to homework in the early grades.

ETA: And I realize now this is the BP, so never mind all that if you just wanted to vent. :o

[crl]

I hate homework too. I don't think it has any educational value, at least not anywhere near enough to make up for the angst.

Ds did always try to finish his when I told him it was up to him to explain to his teacher why it wasn't done.

We have also a handful of times when I told ds he had tried hard enough for long enough and I just wrote the teacher a note saying we had worked on homework for x amount of time and it was getting very frustrating so we did not finish it. Those were always times he had been genuinely trying for more than the amount of time homework was supposed to take (our district had a policy by grade). When I wrote a note he never got in any trouble and his teachers always encouraged me to do that when we really needed to.

Catherine

[niccig]

You are in a new school with new expectations. You and he are both still figuring things out. He's likely overwhelmed (emotionally) and really drained when he gets home. I would ask him when he prefers to do the homework and experiment with different options. When *I* prefer my kids to do homework is not when they prefer it.

I also agree that it is OK to let him take the natural consequences of not completing homework. He may lose out on fun experiences at school if he does not do homework. So I would remind him, but not make it a battle.

I would also just give it some time to see what shakes out after a few weeks. If it continues to be a problem, I would ask the teacher for some advice and input.



:yeahthat: I try to keep in perspective that there is really almost no value to homework in the early grades.

ETA: And I realize now this is the BP, so never mind all that if you just wanted to vent. :o

I know you're right and DS is still transitioning and we need to work out what will work. His teacher agrees with little value to homework so isn't setting much. The math homework he can do easily, it's the dang spelling - and the teacher is letting him practice anyway he wants. The words are harder than he had at old school, and this week it's all -ed or -ing words so he's having to learn the root word + what to do for the ending.

Last night DS said he didn't care about doing it or not, so I said fine, I wouldn't care if it was done or not either and walked away. Thing is, he does care, and he'll be upset come Friday when he gets too many wrong on the test...so he later came to me and said "I'm ready to do it now, but I need help." So we got it done.

I'll try and have him set the time/have some control, but starting next week, there's 2 nights where we're home later because he's in aftercare. He hasn't doing his homework in aftercare, so I'll ask them to make sure he gets it done.