"FYI (if you're a teenage girl)" -- Thoughts?

[queenmama]

http://givenbreath.com/2013/09/03/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/

I'm having a difficult time getting past the irony here. She's chiding girls for posting suggestive selfies, meanwhile she has a photo of her boys in swim trunks flexing their muscles.

And now I see why some of you are so anti-mommy bloggers!

Lara

[Mermanaid]

Check out this rebuttal. http://putdowntheurinalcake.com/2013/09/dear-mrs-hall-regarding-your-fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/

[smilequeen]

I saw the rebuttal along with it on FB, I pretty much agree with the rebuttal. The original might have had some good points in it about being more careful about what you put out there on the internet, but her message got lost in all the other stuff. She doesn't give her boys a whole lot of credit for being able to look past a towel shot or a braless picture, let alone her double standard in the photos.

[elliput]

She doesn't give her boys a whole lot of credit for being able to look past a towel shot or a braless picture, let alone her double standard in the photos.
:yeahthat: The message I got was that she expects the girls to self-censure so that she doesn't have to teach her boys to not be creepers.

[Green_Tea]

I found it self-righteous and full of double standards. She attacks the girls, but sounds like she has little faith in her boys.

[queenmama]

I love the rebuttal. Well-reasoned and kind. Excellent. Thanks for sharing.

Lara

[123LuckyMom]

I love the rebuttal, too! Thanks for sharing both blog entries.

[bisous]

Hmm. I couldn't read the rebuttal. Lots of my friends are posting that first article. I read it and it didn't really speak to me at all. Don't sell your boys short and if you're a mom of boys, don't attempt to parent girls!

[Kindra178]

I found it self-righteous and full of double standards. She attacks the girls, but sounds like she has little faith in her boys.

Yup. Boys are so stupid that they have to protected from their own thoughts. Their pure hearts shouldn't even think of those girls. And girls? Total whores who just want to trap her boys. WTF? This piece totally angered me.

[Neatfreak]

Here's another good rebuttal: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/

[SnuggleBuggles]

Yup. Boys are so stupid that they have to protected from their own thoughts. Their pure hearts shouldn't even think of those girls. And girls? Total whores who just want to trap her boys. WTF? This piece totally angered me.

Without having read the blog or rebuttal...it sounds timely to discussions of how men and women work together as adults. Hot girls are out to steal the man; men are too weak willed to see past that. Again, didn't read anything but it sure strikes a familiar tone.

[ladysoapmaker]

She doesn't give her boys a whole lot of credit for being able to look past a towel shot or a braless picture, let alone her double standard in the photos.

:yeahthat:

This is the problem I have with the first blog. I have 2 boys one 17 and the other almost 13. I'm insulted she seems to think my boys are mindless gibbering sex hounds who can't see a person past a "sexy" pose. I'm also insulted that she still thinks we women have to prevent boys and men from viewing us a sexual beings. Why can't we women/young ladies explore our sexuality like men can? And Why can't we teach our boys to respect the whole person?

Obviously I'm not as eloquent as the rebuttal but I really get sick and tired of being told "Oh you're a boy, you get a pass at being a jerk because you don't know any better and you can't help your nature" and "You, young lady, stop acting like a whore, a boy might be corrupted". Teach your children, don't blame someone else for your shortfalls in parenting.

[westwoodmom04]

Without having read the blog or rebuttal...it sounds timely to discussions of how men and women work together as adults. Hot girls are out to steal the man; men are too weak willed to see past that. Again, didn't read anything but it sure strikes a familiar tone.

No, it's about teenagers sending out provocative pictures of themselves (partially clothed, etc. . .) via twitter, facebook, etc. . . I don't like the writer's tone because her perspective is "protecting" her boys from these girls but I do think young girls don't always think these things through and don't realize how widely these pictures might be disseminated or how they might be perceived.

The first piece misses the point because it ignores that boys make the same mistakes. My brother is in his early twenties, and I know girls he was "friends" with were sending topless pictures around back in high school electronically. I assume the boys were doing equally stupid stuff. Kids do need to learn not to do stupid stuff like this regardless gender, and I think the rebuttal's ignore this and focus on the very nice but not totally on point sentiment of teaching kids to look beyond the physical.

[elliput]

Here's another good rebuttal: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/
I really like this.

[hillview]

I get the hostile reaction to the original blog a degree. That said I think it is a good point that EVERYONE (regardless of gender) needs to consider what they post. I don't think that moderating who people friend on facebook is a long term total answer but for sure a discussion of what is appropriate makes sense. Reality is that if they don't see it on facebook they will see it on a kid's cell phone or a print out someone makes etc. You cannot protect your kids from everything. You CAN help them think about what is appropriate and who you might want to be friends with etc.

[Mermanaid]

I saw the rebuttal along with it on FB, I pretty much agree with the rebuttal. The original might have had some good points in it about being more careful about what you put out there on the internet, but her message got lost in all the other stuff. She doesn't give her boys a whole lot of credit for being able to look past a towel shot or a braless picture, let alone her double standard in the photos.

Agree completely.

[elektra]

I do think it's a good idea for everyone, especially teenagers, to think before posting on social media.
But yeah the post was super annoying for the reasons already mentioned. And the rebuttal was actually way too nice (the whole first half was apologizing for her opinion!)

[AnnieW625]

I get the hostile reaction to the original blog a degree. That said I think it is a good point that EVERYONE (regardless of gender) needs to consider what they post. I don't think that moderating who people friend on facebook is a long term total answer but for sure a discussion of what is appropriate makes sense. Reality is that if they don't see it on facebook they will see it on a kid's cell phone or a print out someone makes etc. You cannot protect your kids from everything. You CAN help them think about what is appropriate and who you might want to be friends with etc.

I agree with statement as well. :bighand:

I didn't love the rebuttal either. Both articles were preachy IMHO. It shouldn't matter if you are a parent of boy or a girl all that is needed IMHO is to tell the child in question please wear appropriate clothing, it isn't appropriate to sex/text or have random sexualized photos of yourself on the Internet, and just don't do something because others are doing it. Parents shouldn't have to start getting preachy about this like they are morally superior to others. It is nothing new just common sense IMHO.

In regards to the photos if those were photos of girls in two piece swimsuits from the age of what 8-17 almost every single mother here would be outraged that a mother posted those photos of her girls online. I state this because the topic of bikinis on girls even teens is a virtual war here, it gets ugly.

eta: turns out I read the second rebuttal and not the first. I liked the first one much better and it very much how I feel.

[TwinFoxes]

No, it's about teenagers sending out provocative pictures of themselves (partially clothed, etc. . .) via twitter, facebook, etc. . .

I agree with Snuggles, it's timely given recent threads here.

Like the first rebuttal blogger, someone I like and respect posted the first one. I was shocked. I thought it was awful.

[egoldber]

I liked the first rebuttal (have not read the second) because I thought her main messages were 1) have respect for yourself, and 2) we make mistakes and we move on. Those mistakes do not define us. I think that is a message that teens need to hear because they will screw up in some way at some time.

[randomkid]

IMO, all this mother is achieving is teaching her sons that girls are trampy and "forbidden fruit". She makes them unfriend any girl who may post what she considers to be an inappropriate photo? What does she think that is going to achieve? Honestly, I think it's just going to make her sons more curious. Maybe, if she really cared, she would consider alerting the girls' parents to what is going on and maybe, just maybe, that would make a bigger impact than sheltering her sons.

She also doesn't seem to think to highly of her sons' ability to be decent human beings because, after all, once they see a girl in a somewhat sexual way, they can't unsee it. Well, what about her husband? Was she fully clothed when she conceived those 4 children? Does she think that her husband can't "unsee" her in a sexual way? I'm certain not. I'm sure she believes that her husband sees her for the awesome wife, mother and woman that she likely is. However, to hear her tell it in this "letter", he cannot. Or, does this only apply to teenaged boys?

And yes, I agree that she is not setting a very good example by posting those pictures of her sons on the beach. The boy in the front looks like he very much cares about his appearance and does happen to have a "pouty" expression.

I read some of the comments and one I really liked came from a male. This is his view and better than the rebuttal letter from another mom (didn't read the second rebuttal)

"Other things to consider:

1. Women are attracted to men. It is a lame lie that women aren’t visually stimulated. They are.
2. Let’s pretend women aren’t visually stimulated. What about other males? What if some of your sons’ friends are attracted to other males? Why then is it ok for your sons to have pictures half naked and flexing? Shouldn’t you follow your own guidelines?
3. Your comment about males not being able to unsee is revolting. Men aren’t disgusting pigs. We are fully capable of operating apart from our sexuality. You honestly need to have higher standards for the men in your life. And maybe more accurately, you need to stop telling the men in your life that they are disgusting and incapable of operating outside of a hyper-sexualized lens.

Mrs. Hall, I am obviously having an impassioned response to your article. I apologize if my tone is too harsh or if it is comes across as rude for the sake of being rude. I don’t intend to harass you, but I do honestly think you are very misguided. You clearly have a heart that wants what is best for your family, and that is worth celebrating, but I would strongly urge you to reconsider your approach and perspective on the issues in this article."

ETA: Read the second rebuttal letter which is not so much a rebuttal, but what Mrs. Hall should be teaching her sons. He's got it right, she does not. He puts the responsiblity on the boy because there will always be women who dress in ways that they shouldn't. Didn't we just have a big thread on here about Miley Cyrus? Teach your sons Mrs. Hall. Teach them to be good men and decent human beings , not that girls are to blame!

[TwinFoxes]

http://givenbreath.com/2013/09/03/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/

I'm having a difficult time getting past the irony here. She's chiding girls for posting suggestive selfies, meanwhile she has a photo of her boys in swim trunks flexing their muscles.

And now I see why some of you are so anti-mommy bloggers!

Lara


The original might have had some good points in it about being more careful about what you put out there on the internet, but her message got lost in all the other stuff. She doesn't give her boys a whole lot of credit for being able to look past a towel shot or a braless picture, let alone her double standard in the photos.

:yeahthat: Heaven knows I don't want my girls putting suggestive pics on their FB page in however many years...but geez lady, even if they did, does it really merit banning? One crazy picture and they're put into the not acceptable pile? Not suitable for your precious (bathing suit-clad, preening) sons? And really, your boys can't "unsee" it. :rolleyes:

I'm sure many of us made goofy poses in a mirror growing up, pretending we were Madonna, or Britney, or whomever. And who's to say we wouldn't have sent them to friends if FB existed?

in 20 years her DIL will be writing about her MIL in the Bitching Post! Imagine trying to live up to her expectations. Grandma from he**!

[HannaAddict]

Thanks for the rebuttals. I rarely post anything like this on FB, but did post them in response to a relatives link to FYI. As the mom of a first grade girl who is outgoing and vivacious and allowed to wear two piece bathing suits, it pains me to read this sort of blame the woman stuff. I have two boys too. Thanks.

[citymama]

:yeahthat: Heaven knows I don't want my girls putting suggestive pics on their FB page in however many years...but geez lady, even if they did, does it really merit banning? One crazy picture and they're put into the not acceptable pile? Not suitable for your precious (bathing suit-clad, preening) sons? And really, your boys can't "unsee" it. :rolleyes:

I'm sure many of us made goofy poses in a mirror growing up, pretending we were Madonna, or Britney, or whomever. And who's to say we wouldn't have sent them to friends if FB existed?

in 20 years her DIL will be writing about her MIL in the Bitching Post! Imagine trying to live up to her expectations. Grandma from he**!

Seriously. Yeesh. Could.not.stand. the original post.

[pb&j]

I hated the original post. Slut-shaming, and blaming women for getting victimized, while putting zero responsibility on men and boys for their thoughts and actions.

I agree with (what I hope) is the bottom line of her message - be careful what you post on social media. And I would FLIP OUT if my daughter (or son) posted a provacative pic, but the problem is not only the girls who post the pictures. Finger pointing might make her and those who agree feel righteous, but it doesn't touch the bigger issues at play.

Also, separate from the bigger issues, I despise when internet strangers take it upon themselves to parent my children. People in glass houses should not throw stones.

[maestramommy]

I don't think this woman is getting any love in my circles, lol. While I thing her initial point is well taken (don't post scantily clad provocatively posed selfies online), as all the rebuttals have pointed out, it was pretty one-sided, didn't even touch on the responsibility of men (like her sons) to control their own thoughts and actions. The fact that it has religious overtones was unfortunately hilarious.

[Lenny]

I hated the original post but then I really hate the culture of "Boys will be boys" all the while we blame women (and girls) for any and all sexual attention they receive regardless of if it's desired or not. I think it permeates so many areas of our lives in a really noxious way, from being told to put up with a boy hitting us as a little girl because "he probably has a crush on you" to being told we're at fault for having some teenage boy make a lewd gesture at us as a teen because we dared to wear a bathing suit in public, to being blamed as adult women for everything from rape and sexual harassment or unwanted sexual attention from coworkers, bosses, friends, etc because "You were probably doing something to lead him on". Most women have been on the recieving end of that treatment where somehow she is to be held responsible for someone ELSE'S actions. How is that ever fair or just?

On another forum I visit this blog post came up and I saw some really great responses, from both secular and from religious viewpoints who wholeheartedly reject this archaic notion that men aren't responsible for their own actions in both deed and thought.

One was from a pretty old school Christian and he basically said, guys, I'm not buying it, and it's a disgusting cop out to pretend like you have no control over yourselves. Quit laying the blame on women for your own failures in pious thoughts and deeds.

Another was a secular mom who said quite simply, "I'm going to raise my sons the way my parents raised my brothers. I'm going to tell my sons that they need to treat every man and woman with respect, and even though it's sometimes the hardest to do that for those who appear to have no respect for themselves, they need to try that much harder with them because it means somewhere along the way someone stopped giving them the respect they deserve."

I think it's very alarming how young kids are becoming sexualized and I think in this era of facebook and social networking, the repercussions of teenage sexuality are a LOT different than they were even 10 years ago when I was a teenager. That being said, I don't thing shaming teens and mocking them is a very productive or healthy way to open up the way we as a society goes about handling this. And I certainly don't think unloading the lions share of the burden onto the backs of girls is appropriate, ever. Shame on her for doing that.

[Kindra178]

The fact that it has religious overtones was unfortunately hilarious.

Agree!

Lenny, I am ok with "boys will be boys" as it pertains to younger boys who lack impulse control. Boys are different than girls and that's ok too. I am not ok with an attitude of "my boys' pure hearts and minds are being corrupted by slutty girls." The author is actually her boys a disservice on many levels. And any parent who feels like they have it all figured out, no matter what ages their kids are, usually doesn't.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Ugh, just read the original post. I totally stand behind my earlier observation, before I read the blog post- boys (men) need to be protected because they aren't strong enough to resist temptation. Good luck blog mommy with your sheltered kiddos- just because they won't be seeing it on FB because you block it doesn't mean they won't be confronted with it a million other ways. I think she'd be far smarter teaching her kids to respect girls instead of judging them. And she should think higher of her boys too- they aren't helpless and don't need to be protected from seeing their peers.

[Lenny]

Agree!

Lenny, I am ok with "boys will be boys" as it pertains to younger boys who lack impulse control. Boys are different than girls and that's ok too. I am not ok with an attitude of "my boys' pure hearts and minds are being corrupted by slutty girls." The author is actually her boys a disservice on many levels. And any parent who feels like they have it all figured out, no matter what ages their kids are, usually doesn't.

I definitely agree there are differences between boys and girls.. that being said, most little kids lack impulse control regardless of gender.

I think saying "eh boys will be boys" is TOTALLY fine in an instance of letting your boys rough house with eachother, etc or just do, uh, boy things, haha.. I was referring to in the context that I had to endure growing up where boys would hit me or grab me and I was told it was okay for them to do so or I shouldn't be upset or that no one was going to stop it, because they're a boy and that's what they do when they "like a girl", and that to me is just a totally different ball game if you know what I mean, and one where you cross into a line of behavior where you're holding girls in some way responsible for a boy's behavior.

Boys will be boys to me is only really an acceptable phrase or outlook when the boy's behavior is benign, which is why the author's outlook of Oh my boys can't help but objectify you young girls and view you sexually, and YOU'RE responsible for it you harlot teen girls, just chaps my behind. It's like you said-- it's unfair to the whole male gender to be so reductive of them and to think so little of their powers of reasoning, empathy, etc!

[elliput]

And here's the parody rebuttle- FYI (if you're a teenage boy) (http://theirondaisywrites.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-boy/)

[Lenny]

" Did you know that once a female sees you in a state of undress, she can’t ever un-see it? You don’t want my daughter to only think of you in this sexual way, do you? Because if she does, it will be YOUR fault. Our daughter does not have free agency. She is incapable of controlling her thoughts and actions so you must do it for her. Seriously, she can’t. It’s some sort of chromosome condition that only occurs with the XX."

:rotflmao:

[Kindra178]

And here's the parody rebuttle- FYI (if you're a teenage boy) (http://theirondaisywrites.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-boy/)

Holy @#$$. I am laughing so hard I am crying, with my office door open. That was so funny. Do not read at work if you have your door open.

[AnnieW625]

Holy @#$$. I am laughing so hard I am crying, with my office door open. That was so funny. Do not read at work if you have your door open.

That was fun and a reminder of why I blocked my then 17 yr. old high school junior male cousin's FB feed a few years ago. :hysterical:

[SnuggleBuggles]

And here's the parody rebuttle- FYI (if you're a teenage boy) (http://theirondaisywrites.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-boy/)

Perfect!!!

[Beckylove]

I think everyone is being entirely too hard on the original author. There is some truth to what she is trying to say:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/02/19/women.bikinis.objects/

This is a CNN article entitled Men See Bikini Clad Women as Objects.

Obviously, good parents teach their children to get to know the person, not the clothing. My son is accountable for his actions. My daughter as well. But people make judgments based on initial appearances and i would rather my girls give the initial impression of "nice smile" than "big knockers, must nail".

[citymama]

Beckylove, I don't think anyone is arguing that men objectify women.

I think we're saying that since men do that, men - and those who raise them - might take responsibility for their actions, rather than asking women to cover up.

Blaming women for men's bad behavior is nothing new either. But that doesn't make it acceptable.

[wellyes]

I think everyone is being entirely too hard on the original author. There is some truth to what she is trying to say:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/02/19/women.bikinis.objects/

This is a CNN article entitled Men See Bikini Clad Women as Objects.

Obviously, good parents teach their children to get to know the person, not the clothing. My son is accountable for his actions. My daughter as well. But people make judgments based on initial appearances and i would rather my girls give the initial impression of "nice smile" than "big knockers, must nail".

Obviously guys do objectively women.
Here we have a mother of teenaged boys who chose to chastise the girls her sons are objectifying. I can't think of any way that is good parenting.

[MontrealMum]

And here's the parody rebuttle- FYI (if you're a teenage boy) (http://theirondaisywrites.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-boy/)

Love it!!!!

I still can't read the 1st rebuttal. It won't load for me. But I entirely agree with Snuggles. And I think it's too bad that some parents are selling their kids short :(

[westwoodmom04]

Beckylove, I don't think anyone is arguing that men objectify women.

I think we're saying that since men do that, men - and those who raise them - might take responsibility for their actions, rather than asking women to cover up.

Blaming women for men's bad behavior is nothing new either. But that doesn't make it acceptable.

I agree that the author's tone is off and I don't think boys need to be protected, but I do think that young girls are unintentionally "objectifying" themselves by copying sexual suggestive poses that are all too commonly available to kids today, that they are too young to understand. Add in that such images are easily spread beyond the intended recipient electronically and that things are out there on the internet forever. And some parents (the type that don't post here) are oblivious that their kids are doing these things. The remedy isn't to shun these girls; but there is a need for some type of education. And I'd like to think that is why the post is getting a lot of circulation despite its obvious flaws. To say its just another "anti-hot girls" meme glosses over that.

[wellyes]

I agree that the author's tone is off and I don't think boys need to be protected, but I do think that young girls are unintentionally "objectifying" themselves by copying sexual suggestive poses that are all too commonly available to kids today, that they are too young to understand. Add in that such images are easily spread beyond the intended recipient electronically and that things are out there on the internet forever. And some parents (the type that don't post here) are oblivious that their kids are doing these things. The remedy isn't to shun these girls; but there is a need for some type of education. And I'd like to think that is why the post is getting a lot of circulation despite its obvious flaws. To say its just another "anti-hot girls" meme glosses over that.

I think social media bullying and the risks of suggestive pictures online have been covered pretty widely online. Not to say it's not still a problem, obviously it is. I dont' think this is about that. This is part of a conservative religious approach to modesty that I've seen quite a bit of recently. For example this line:


Will you trust me? There are boys out there waiting and hoping for women of character. Some young men are fighting the daily uphill battle to keep their minds pure, and their thoughts praiseworthy – just like you.

Implies girls who take braless selfies are not "of character".
Implies girls are responsible for corrupting boys by not acting appropriately modest.
While I do think girls and boys clearly need education about how to act appropriately online, these are not the lessons I want my son and daughter to absorb.

I did notice the blogger removed the pictures of her sons in bathing suits.

[TwinFoxes]

I did notice the blogger removed the pictures of her sons in bathing suits.

I guess she's giving herself a second chance at making a good decision about posting 1/2 nude photos of her sons. But no second chance for teenagers! They should know better.

[georgiegirl]

And here's the parody rebuttle- FYI (if you're a teenage boy) (http://theirondaisywrites.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-boy/)

Thank goodness she makes an exception for Ryan Gosling.

[indigo99]

Lots of replies popping up over the internet. I liked parts of this one (http://putdowntheurinalcake.com/2013/09/dear-mrs-hall-regarding-your-fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/) including the letter below on what may be a better message to send to teenage girls.

We see you, sweetheart. We do. We see what you’re writing. We see what you’re posting. We see more of you than you think we do. We see sometimes down to the very center of your soul. And what you need to know is this: You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are worthy. You are your physical body, and you are so very much more. And you, baby girl, have infinite chances for grace and redemption and relationship and community and wholeness and LOVE. Always. Always and forever. Amen.

[randomkid]

I think social media bullying and the risks of suggestive pictures online have been covered pretty widely online. Not to say it's not still a problem, obviously it is. I dont' think this is about that.

I did notice the blogger removed the pictures of her sons in bathing suits.

I already posted my thoughts, but as I've read through this thread, I have thought about it some more. When I read the above, I went back to the original blog and I was floored! Here is the link again http://givenbreath.com/2013/09/03/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/. So, she has taken down the pictures of her sons in their bathing suits and replaced them with...what you ask? Photos of her with her 3 sons looking at a phone and laughing while her innocent little girl takes pictures of flowers in the background. They could be reading a text from a friend or they could be laughing at photos they are looking at on FB. It seems truly bitchy to me that this is her response to people criticizing her for her lack of judgement in her original posting. This woman proclaims to be a Christian, but it is people like this who give true Christians a bad name. Just the mere fact that she would post such a picture that could be taken as her and her sons laughing at a girl's picture is bullying, imo. She couldn't be big enough to say "you were right, I made a mistake". Instead, she does something like this. Currently on her home page, she has it titled "FYI #2 (the one where everyone's covered up). Very snarky. I have now lost any respect I may have had for this woman. You know, thinking that at least she's trying, but is a bit misguided. She reminds me of this group that would come to my college campus every year. They would stand around and yell at the students, telling them they were all sluts and whoremongers and we were all going straight to hell, all in the name of Jesus. They ended up being run off campus by the students and it wasn't pretty.

My other thoughts - her "letter" had a very condescending tone. I don't know why she seems to be so hateful towards girls which makes me feel truly sorry for her little girl. How is she going to treat that poor child and what messages will she be giving her? That if she is victimized in any way in her life, it will be her fault?

Lastly, she can block girls on FB, but what about the real world? I'm sure there were girls on that beach where they took those original pictures. I'm sure said girls were wearing swimsuits, and some (gasp!) in bikinis! Did she cover her sons' eyes or tell them to look away or did she ask these girls to leave the beach? Because, it is their fault after all if her sons look at a beautiful girl in a sexual way.

Seems to me all she is accomplishing with her sons is teaching them to be judgemental and disrespectful of women.

[citymama]

And here's the parody rebuttle- FYI (if you're a teenage boy) (http://theirondaisywrites.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-boy/)


Thank goodness she makes an exception for Ryan Gosling.

:yeahthat: Love this parody!

I really like this response/blog post too. FYI an Open Letter to Teenage Girls who don't always wear a bra
(http://jessicagottlieb.com/2013/09/fyi-an-open-letter-to-teenage-girls-who-dont-always-wear-a-bra/)
I know it will be hard to live this approach as a parent of girls, but she makes a lot of great points.

(http://jessicagottlieb.com/2013/09/fyi-an-open-letter-to-teenage-girls-who-dont-always-wear-a-bra/)

[anamika]

I guess she's giving herself a second chance at making a good decision about posting 1/2 nude photos of her sons. But no second chance for teenagers! They should know better.

That made me laugh so hard! We should all block her from our social media sites ;)

[SnuggleBuggles]

The blocking of the world comment 2 posts up went through my head too. That mom is fighting a losing battle and she isn't giving her kids the tools anything if she spends her time teaching them to run or hide from it.

I do have a friend that has 2 boys and 2 girls. She won't let her girls wear 2 piece bathing suits, not even tankinis, because she doesn't want them to be difficult for the boys to see. Funny enough, she totally disagreed with the original blog.

[kep]

:yeahthat: Love this parody!

I really like this response/blog post too. FYI an Open Letter to Teenage Girls who don't always wear a bra
(http://jessicagottlieb.com/2013/09/fyi-an-open-letter-to-teenage-girls-who-dont-always-wear-a-bra/)
I know it will be hard to live this approach as a parent of girls, but she makes a lot of great points.

(http://jessicagottlieb.com/2013/09/fyi-an-open-letter-to-teenage-girls-who-dont-always-wear-a-bra/)

Love this:


By now you’re probably aware that Mrs. Hall thinks you’re a dirty slut who can’t be Facebook friends with her sons.

[arivecchi]

My thoughts on this: I really dislike mommy/daddy bloggers and the related self-imposed drama. Will continue avoiding them. :)

[westwoodmom04]

My thoughts on this: I really dislike mommy/daddy bloggers and the related self-imposed drama. Will continue avoiding them. :)

Agree with this 100 percent, but I do like Scary Mommy:)

[kep]

My thoughts on this: I really dislike mommy/daddy bloggers and the related self-imposed drama. Will continue avoiding them. :)

Well, yes, but... I kind of like reading all the rebuttals and following the drama. Gives this tired mom a little excitement in her day. ;)

[larig]

I hated the original post. Slut-shaming, and blaming women for getting victimized, while putting zero responsibility on men and boys for their thoughts and actions.

I agree with (what I hope) is the bottom line of her message - be careful what you post on social media. And I would FLIP OUT if my daughter (or son) posted a provacative pic, but the problem is not only the girls who post the pictures. Finger pointing might make her and those who agree feel righteous, but it doesn't touch the bigger issues at play.

Also, separate from the bigger issues, I despise when internet strangers take it upon themselves to parent my children. People in glass houses should not throw stones.

:yeahthat: could not agree more, particularly on the slut shaming (and I have a son).

[larig]

I guess she's giving herself a second chance at making a good decision about posting 1/2 nude photos of her sons. But no second chance for teenagers! They should know better.

:hysterical:

[larig]

And here's the parody rebuttle- FYI (if you're a teenage boy) (http://theirondaisywrites.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-boy/)

:hysterical:

[queenmama]

Here's another good rebuttal: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/

This is a reasonable point of view!


And here's the parody rebuttle- FYI (if you're a teenage boy) (http://theirondaisywrites.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-boy/)

So freaking hilarious!!

Lara

[carolinacool]

My thoughts on this: I really dislike mommy/daddy bloggers and the related self-imposed drama. Will continue avoiding them. :)

Amen. There's a blog going around my FB from some blogger making fun of Pinterest-type moms, and even though I'm so not a Pinterest-type mom, I'm even annoyed by that blog. What did these people do before blogs? LOL

[TxCat]

My thoughts on this: I really dislike mommy/daddy bloggers and the related self-imposed drama. Will continue avoiding them. :)

:yeahthat: I studiously avoid all such posts on FB at this point, even from dear friends with whom I usually agree.

[crayonblue]

i guess she's giving herself a second chance at making a good decision about posting 1/2 nude photos of her sons. But no second chance for teenagers! They should know better.

lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[citymama]

:yeahthat: I studiously avoid all such posts on FB at this point, even from dear friends with whom I usually agree.

Sure, you can avoid the bloggers, but you can't avoid the pervasive views all around us. The kind of patriarchal sexism the original blogger promotes is all too widespread.

It's sort of like Mrs. Hall's sons - she wants girls to stop posting swimsuit pics on FB so her boys eyes won't be contaminated by the sight, but her boys can still get plenty of bikini viewing time at the beach!

[elliput]

It's sort of like Mrs. Hall's sons - she wants girls to stop posting swimsuit pics on FB so her boys eyes won't be contaminated by the sight, but her boys can still get plenty of bikini viewing time at the beach!
And chances are they found daddy's po.rno mag stash hidden under the dress shoes that he still keeps in their original box so that they don't get dusty.

[TxCat]

Sure, you can avoid the bloggers, but you can't avoid the pervasive views all around us. The kind of patriarchal sexism the original blogger promotes is all too widespread.

It's sort of like Mrs. Hall's sons - she wants girls to stop posting swimsuit pics on FB so her boys eyes won't be contaminated by the sight, but her boys can still get plenty of bikini viewing time at the beach!

I prefer not to read/partake of parenting blogs because I often find them tedious and you equate my mindset to Mrs. Hall??? Um. Okay, whatever.

[arivecchi]

I prefer not to read/partake of parenting blogs because I often find them tedious and you equate my mindset to Mrs. Hall??? Um. Okay, whatever. I will go gurther and add that I don't read them because I find them to be a complete waste of time. I refuse to debate their proclaimed theories or spread the popularity of these inane blogs. Everyone is a writer these days. Drives me insane.

[citymama]

I prefer not to read/partake of parenting blogs because I often find them tedious and you equate my mindset to Mrs. Hall??? Um. Okay, whatever.

I didn't. Sorry you jumped to that conclusion.

I was making the point that there's only so much one can blinker.

I don't read mommy blogs either. But I spend enough time here to hear mommy views that are widely different from my own. If I didn't want to hear these views, I wouldn't be here - or perhaps I am here despite the views.

The point is that our gripes with Mrs Hall are about her views, which are widely shared patriarchal views which find girls' sexuality threatening. We can put our heads in the sand, but that doesn't make the views go away.

And much as it drives me insane, I want to know about them because my kids could be be dealing with kids like theirs 10 years from now. Good lord.

[elliput]

I will go gurther and add that I don't read them because I find them to be a complete waste of time. I refuse to debate their proclaimed theories or spread the popularity of these inane blogs. Everyone is a writer these days. Drives me insane.

Okay. I find this statement to be incredibly ironic in this particular thread. I actually laughed out loud. Ummm, what do we do here on a daily basis? Essentially the same thing in a different format.

[carolinacool]

Okay. I find this statement to be incredibly ironic in this particular thread. I actually laughed out loud. Ummm, what do we do here on a daily basis? Essentially the same thing in a different format.

Not the PP, but to me, message boards are different from the types of blogs we are talking about. Even blogs are different. I have friends who have mommy blogs where they talk about their kids and that's it. Other blogs seek national attention - that's how we end up with Letters to XXXX, or Pinterest Moms Suck, or Don't Ever Rush Your Kids!! People who have decided that they are experts or that they are hilariously funny, etc. Like a PP said, everyone is a writer now. They are just so many I don't really care to read any of them, whether I agree with them or not. It feels very self-promotional to me.

[specialp]

What did these people do before blogs? LOL

Love this poster:
http://www.despair.com/blogging.html

"Blogging: Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few."

[arivecchi]

Okay. I find this statement to be incredibly ironic in this particular thread. I actually laughed out loud. Ummm, what do we do here on a daily basis? Essentially the same thing in a different format.
I completely disagree. I don't think posting in a random forum is the same as writing a blog and trying to develop a following. Not sure how you think that is comparable at all.

I don't care if others want to debate this to death. Carry on and enjoy.

[elliput]

I should have highlighted your first post in this thread which comments on the self-imposed drama to which both of us are adding to right now. :)

[bisous]

While the initial post didn't impress me much, I want to point out that while it is poorly carried out, I don't completely disagree with all of what the author is trying to say. I just feel like her standard should be equally applied to boys AND to girls. That's what I thought was odd. The photos on the blog were an incredibly bizarre choice, too.

I'm a blogger. For a living. I work for a major entertainment outlet and they pay me per blog entry! It is for a particular aspect of parenting (my son has a chronic disease and this is what I write about). I laugh because they will pay me a large sum of money for my opinion on some matter. While I put a lot of thought into what I write, the actual writing part takes me almost no time at all. I'm always amazed that I get paid to do this because I secretly feel (as has been expressed here) that what I'm writing is just not all that interesting or insightful--just my rambling thoughts.

I'm glad for my gig. I like writing about my DS' condition, it is a passion for me. I like how much they overpay me, even though it makes me laugh sometimes. But I wonder if my days are numbered and more people are getting blog apathy?

[citymama]

I'm a blogger. For a living. I work for a major entertainment outlet and they pay me per blog entry! It is for a particular aspect of parenting (my son has a chronic disease and this is what I write about). I laugh because they will pay me a large sum of money for my opinion on some matter. While I put a lot of thought into what I write, the actual writing part takes me almost no time at all. I'm always amazed that I get paid to do this because I secretly feel (as has been expressed here) that what I'm writing is just not all that interesting or insightful--just my rambling thoughts.

I'm glad for my gig. I like writing about my DS' condition, it is a passion for me. I like how much they overpay me, even though it makes me laugh sometimes. But I wonder if my days are numbered and more people are getting blog apathy?

Oh wow, cool! I am so glad you are overpaid - go girl! They have the money, you have the story and the passion, so I am sure you are rightly compensated.

If I may ask - would you mind sharing more about your son's condition? I was not aware of this. Hope he's doing well.

[California]

The blogger makes it seem like the girls should change their behavior to be appropriate potential mates for her boys (or boys like them.) I wish she had said, "Listen- someday you are going to want to get a job, a real professional career job that you have worked hard to get, that will take you down the path of success. And your future employer is going to search for you on the Internet. What kind of pictures do you want for them to find? Think of that before you post online." That, at least, is what I think of when I see some of the things my younger cousins share on line!