s/o: so what warrants taking a child out of school?

[AnnieW625]

For me it has to be an important family event or a funeral. My girl goes to Catholic school so thankfully they are pretty open for events like baptism and they do kind of seem to be open for other family vacations and such, but I still would try not to pull my kids out of school for a family vacation.

DD1 will be absent next Friday because we will be going to my niece's baptism in Sacramento and we really prefer to have two full days there before getting back in the car and driving home after one full day so we are driving up on Thursday afternoon after school gets out. If airline tickets had been a lot cheaper then she wouldn't have missed school at all.

I am trying to plan a vacation for next year or summer and as much as I would love to go to WDW or Hawaii in February or November vs. August part of me is still thinking that I would feel really guilty pulling her out of school for a family vacation esp. if we have the last week in August where we most likely won't have summer camp or school. However if we were to do WDW in November I wouldn't have much of an issue with her missing a Monday and a Tuesday of a short week because Monday would be the only full day of school she'd miss (Tuesday is generally a half day and Wednesday is no school). We missed school during Thanksigiving when I was a kid twice, the first time we thought my great grandma was dying (she ended up living another 3 yrs.), and the second was because we'd had the week off the year prior so my parents planned a vacation that week and low and behold the school calendar comes out in September and we didn't get the week off so we missed 2/1/2 days of school.

[Momit]

I might change my tune on this when DS is in school and they have strict attendance policies, but I don't have a problem with taking a child out of school for vacation. I think there's a lot of value and potential for learning in travel - something like Disney might be a stretch, but Epcot and Animal kingdom can be educational. There are so many advantages to travel during off-peak times that I would be very tempted to do it.

Maybe it's because we did it when I was a kid that I think it's ok. I just had to complete assignments and write a report. My dad traveled a lot for work so we would often tag along to places he went - the Everglades, the Grand Canyon etc.

My only struggle would be if the attendance policy did not allow absences for anything other than being sick, and I know many schools/states do that.

[icunurse]

I think it depends on the school, your child, and your values and it is going to be different for everyone. For us, I would not have my child skip school for an out of town wedding or baptism unless we were standing up in the wedding, a godparent, or it was a sibling. For a funeral, it would have to be someone very, very close or immediate family. My thinking on this is that most people should understand if you are out of town and can't plan to skip school, pay for plane tickets, whatever. In order to miss for a vacation, my children must be ahead of where they need to be and understand that they will be responsible for their school work. We will be going to Disney in October, just works out best for us on many levels. DD is only in first grade, so I don't think that is a big deal. DS in in fourth grade and I do feel a little guilty (don't want his teacher to be mad, otherwise fine with it). But he is top of his class and motivated to do whatever work needs to be done to stay on task. If he was struggling or as he gets into higher grades, I might hesitate more. I also find that the beginning of the year is a lot of review while missing in Jan or later, there is new information and it might be harder to catch up.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

dh & i differ on this. i think taking out for a few days here and there for vacation is ok..i know my parents did it and i did really well in school so that was not an issue.

dh OTOH has pretty strict view on school attendance..he does not think that taking kid out of school for a vacation is ok. i think the only exception he'd make is if a close family member (e.g. my brother) was getting married out of the country or something. Or funeral of an immediate family member. But other than that, no....like icunuse said, even if it was a baptism or whatever he woudln't go...he think it's important than school be first priority. Ii should add that as a kid DH got awards for having perfect attendance at his elementary school - he didn't miss a single day of school from 1st-8th grade....not even for illness!! I personally think that's a little freakish and unusual (lol) but he didn't think so.

I don't know. Doesn't matter in the end, i think..whatever works. we both ended up straight A students, went to great schools yadda yadda.

[wencit]

We are taking DS1 out of school for 1 week in November to go to the East Coast. FIL is turning 70, and it's a pretty big deal according to Chinese tradition. We live in California, where the school gets paid based on daily attendance, so we actually opted to take an entire week off rather than just a few days. This way, he can do Independent Study and the school can still get funding even if he's not there.

However, I have already told DH that when MIL turns 70 in a few years, I will be much less willing to pull DS1 from school for this kind of occasion. Right now, he's in 2nd grade, so I don't think it's that big of a deal to pull him for a week. 3rd grade is iffy, and anything 4th or above, it has to be a major, MAJOR thing like a funeral, or maaaaybe a wedding depending on how close we are to the couple, for this to happen again. I am a big believer in school attendance. DH is less strict about this and has already said we'll "discuss" this when MIL's birthday rolls around. Sigh.

[hillview]

It depends. For us we avoided taking DS1 out since reentry was really hard for him, adjusting to different stuff going on in class etc. He is now 8 and fine with it. The school has never had an issue. We pulled both boys our last year 1 week for a family vacation in the Carribean and 1 week for a family trip to Europe to see family and travel. No regrets. Both kids are ahead grade level in school currently.

[o_mom]

I have no problem with missing a day or two for vacation in theory. I also think going to weddings and funerals is important. While our school does have a pretty strict policy, a day or so isn't really a big deal, IMO. A full week I would be less inclined, but the day before winter break is no big deal - they don't do anything that day, lol.

In practice it just rarely comes up for us. DS1 and DS2 missed a couple days in 1st and K for my uncle's funeral. Other than that, nothing has really come up. Most of my cousins are married and our siblings are all done having kids, so no baptisms, etc. We don't really go on vacations that need to be planned around 'high season' so no biggie there.

[anonomom]

We've taken DD1 out of school for a vacation before (she missed 3 days) and will again this year (she'll miss the week after Thanksgiving). To be honest, I feel uncomfortable about it because I am usually a fairly rigid rule follower. But she does well in school and I don't think missing a few days at this point is that harmful.

[A1icia]

I really am not sure what warrants having you kid skip school. I can't think of much other then illness or the death of someone close. Maybe some other family emergency?

My son is only 3 so it's not really an issue for us yet but I can't imagine having him skip school for a family vacation. An I know my husband, an elementary school teacher, would never approve.

In K-12 I can't remember EVER missing school for anything other then me being sick (or on a couple occassions pretending to be sick.)

[Twoboos]

I think we have pulled the kids out of school one or two days since starting Elem, so over 4 years.

I am seriously considering doing it this year. This year's schedule gives a a half day the Friday the week before Thanksgiving, and then only 2.5 days Thanksgiving week. So it would be a total of 3 days missed. We would travel to see family.

[elektra]

I think it really just depends. And I think actually having kids in school has changed my perception too. I would have said "take them out for any reason you see fit" prior to actually having to deal with the school and seeing how things work.
I do think a sick day should be applied when a parent deems it necessary for physical or mental health/illness. Like if you feel like your DC needs a mental health recharge day. I am more conflicted about taking days at a time off to go on vacation that you yourself have planned though. And as mentioned up thread, it affects the CA school funding.

[MamaMolly]

I'm the more strict one about attendance. I don't know if it is my former teaching background or what, but before I had school age kids I thought there really weren't very many good reasons other than illness/death of a loved one/etc. So vacationing would have earned a stink eye from me. Now that I'm much more into real vs. theoretical child rearing I don't have *as much* of an issue. This school year we will be pulling Lula out of 1st grade for a week for a cruise. It is my IL's 50th and they are paying for a family reunion cruise and you bet your bippy we are going.

[kdeunc]

We are taking all three kids out of school for 2 days in January (tagging onto the MLK holiday/teacher workdays) to go to Disney with my parents and my sister and her two children. My kids are at the top of their classes in K, 3rd and 5th grade so I am not worried about what they will miss academically. My parents are 75 and 78 and my dad really wanted a trip to Disney with all of his grandchildren and that is a good enough reason for me. His health and my DH's work schedule would make the summer very difficult.

[123LuckyMom]

I would certainly take a child out of school for an important family funeral. I don't know if I would for a wedding.

I might tack on a couple of days around a vacation given by the school (like leave on a Friday instead of the Saturday) for any type of vacation.

I would if there were a once in a lifetime opportunity for the children to travel to a place they wouldn't otherwise get to go or have an experience they wouldn't otherwise get to have (like DH attending a conference in Africa where families are able to stay and participate in events, like a safari, for free.) A friend of mine did have this chance, and she didn't blink! I wouldn't have either!

I don't yet know if I'd do it for something like Disney. My thinking now is that I wouldn't, but my children are very little. I think it would depend entirely on their attitudes toward and achievements in school. If they were serious about school and understood their responsibilities and were entirely capable of missing the lost time without falling behind, I suppose I might consider it for a very special trip. Disney would count as a special trip. A trip to another country we don't often visit might count, too. I don't think I ever would just to do something fun and/or relaxing that I could just as easily do during a real vacation. Hawaii, the Caribbean, an amusement park (and I don't know that I count Disney in that category. Disney is really special)-- these would not count for me.

[Zansu]

We pull the boys out of school for 5-7 school days for our family vacation every year. Spending time as an extended family is just as important, if not more important, than the material covered at school. I tell the teachers in advance, and never ask for alternate assignments or anything that will cause the teachers extra work. DS1's school has a "homework buddy" system, and he's responsible for making sure the buddies know he'll be out of town.

[Corie]

Everyone needs the occasional hooky day, as my Mom would say. :) (And she was a teacher.)

I pulled my kids out of school one day last May and I took them to an amusement park. It was awesome.
We had a great day!!

My kids are awesome kids and they both get great grades in school.

[Moneypenny]

Family events trump school any day in my book (and I work in education). I would not hesitate to pull DD out for a funeral or wedding. I also have no problem with DD missing school for Disney (she misses 4-5 days each year for family vacation), but I would reconsider this stance if she were a different kid. As it stands, she gets excellent grades and has all her work done before we leave on vacation, so I feel fine with it. If making up the work was difficult/stressful for her or caused her to fall behind in her learning, we would not pull her out for vacations.

[Simon]

Family events trump school any day in my book (and I work in education).

:yeahthat: Up to 6th grade I'd have no trouble pulling for a family vacation. Middle school I'd be very careful about planning any missed days, and HS I would not pull for vacation unless it couldn't be avoided.

[doberbrat]

This is one of those things that I'm unwilling to draw a line in the sand on. I totally depends on the child's temperment, grade level, how they're doing at that point in the term and what the activity is. I also think the exact timing of the absence is important. ie, missing the first month of school, someone would have to be dying. The week before thanksgiving or Christmas where its mostly review material? Whatever. Miss a week of school in K or 1st? sure!! middle school? not so much.

[JustMe]

:yeahthat:

I think the above makes a lot of good sense.

That said, my take on this is really different given that budget cuts have reduced the number of school days so drastically where I live. Before these cuts, I might be one ready to take my kids out for a vacation, fun family day, if there was a reason to do it on a school day (although that would be unlikely for me, given my work schedule). However, I feel differently now and with the number of school days being reduced significantly, I would probably be on the list of those whose kids would only miss for illnesses, funerals, weddings, etc.

[KrisM]

I would not pull out for a regular family vacation, or even a one time vacation, like Disney. Maybe for a day to go earlier, but not a week.

I have no issues with a funeral or certain weddings. Probably other things as well.

DD especially, notices when kids miss, as it's disrupting to the entire class, not just the missing child. With sick days, doctor appointments, and then vacations, there are a not a lot of days with every one there and there seems to be backtracking to catch them up. They start reading a book aloud and have to write about, but someone missed days 1 and 2...they take a math test and spelling test that someone now has to make up...etc. I've mentioned it before and the thought was the teachers just need to plan better and manage time better, but really, there are kids absent all the time, so it just seems hard to plan to only give tests with 100% of kids there.

[Gena]

We have taken DS out of school to attend funerals out of state. A couple of times a year he will miss a whole or part day to see his medical specialists (regular follow ups, not sick visits) . I try to schedule appointments for no school days, but specialists often have limited availability.

[Asianmommy]

For us, it's been only for illness, doctor's appts, or a death in the family. I would consider doing it for a special event, such as a family wedding outside of the country.

[doberbrat]

:yeahthat:

I think the above makes a lot of good sense.

That said, my take on this is really different given that budget cuts have reduced the number of school days so drastically where I live. Before these cuts, I might be one ready to take my kids out for a vacation, fun family day, if there was a reason to do it on a school day (although that would be unlikely for me, given my work schedule). However, I feel differently now and with the number of school days being reduced significantly, I would probably be on the list of those whose kids would only miss for illnesses, funerals, weddings, etc.

huh ... I thought all schools were required to have 180 days of instruction according to federal mandate?

[Kindra178]

IL has 176 days. Chicago Public Schools used to go about 170 but the law changed. Days in school are not federally mandated. Should be though.

[crayonblue]

Honestly? Whatever reason we want!

We took DD1 out of school for a week to visit family. Saved us thousands by flying the week before Christmas vs. the week of Christmas. We see my family once every few years so we are fine with missing school. I will say that DD1 is so far ahead in school that missing days here and there really, really isn't a problem. She is extremely studious and we have zero concerns that she will develop a lax attitude toward school.

[doberbrat]

IL has 176 days. Chicago Public Schools used to go about 170 but the law changed. Days in school are not federally mandated. Should be though.

Thanks for setting me straight. Sometimes I wonder how the heck I make up these "facts" in my head!! :bag

[bigsis]

If I were in your shoes, with your DCs in Catholic schools and kids so young, I would be ok with going for a week-long vacation during school. :bag In public school, the school misses out on $$ on the days the kids are not in school. Also, with the kids so young, they don't miss out too much academically & socially. I would take advantage of this now before 3rd or 4th grade when it gets too serious. Of course, I would alert the teacher ahead of time and try to get the homework so they can learn on the road.

ETA: I'm more of a strict, structured mom, but I believe that there are a few things in life that are more important than having a perfect attendance. On a usual basis, I only allow the kids to be absent if there is a fever involved. (Or death, but that hasn't happened yet, thank God.)

[JustMe]

IL has 176 days. Chicago Public Schools used to go about 170 but the law changed. Days in school are not federally mandated. Should be though.

I counted and we have 167; possibly even a couple less as I am not sure the calendar I looked at had everything. This does not include weekly early release days and some other early release days. It says on our district's website that the minimum number of school days is determined by our state's eduation dept and state law.

[pb&j]

DH is self employed, and his busy season is the summer. We typically cannot travel or take vacation as a family during the summer. We take the kids out of school for family vacations. Usually in the early part of the school year. DS's teachers have always given us their blessing. That time together as a family is far more important than DS's schoolwork.