Play date invite: WWYD?

[elbert]

DD started first grade in a new public school this year in a community we moved to last year, and I'm struggling with negotiating the social environment given that this is all new to me (and I'm realizing I'm socially awkward!)

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago (at the end of the first week of school),I gave a note about scheduling a playdate to DD to give to her classmate to bring home. It basically that DD would love to have a playdate with (classmate) at some point - stating no pressure, but let me know...providing my phone and email contact info. I haven't heard from the parent(s), but since then, a school directory was published and I now have email and phone numbers for them.

DD talks about this girl every day, and still would like to have her over. Would it be appropriate to email them now, since I haven't herd anything, or would that be stalker-esque? I just don't know how to interpret the silence - did the get the note, are they busy, is the kid not interested, etc.

Any advice from the mavens and gurus who negotiate and navigate these worlds on a daily basis?

[Percycat]

I would probably call the family. It will be the easiest way to make all the arrangments and will give you an immediate response. If you send an email, you may be wondering if it was ever read.

I wouldn't be concerned that you didn't get a reply to the personal note. I have tried that approach a couple times with mixed success. My DD's current school doesn't have a family directory so, unless we already know a family, the note is the only way to establish contact. The problem us that kids come home with lots of papers and don't come home with all the papers and parents don't necessarily read every paper and if the paper doesn't require immediate action, it may be indefinitely tabled --- none of these fates have any bearing on whether the friend's family would also like to schedule a playdate with your DD.

I hope your DD is able to have her friend come and play soon!

[squimp]

I would call or email - it could have gotten lost somewhere along the way. I never really trusted at that age that the note would get to the parent with a clear message.

[Sweetsunshine]

I would call too. When my DD was in first grade she missed two parties because invitations were sent in through the friend and my DD misplaced it. Of course she came home insisting she was invited and could I call the mom and find out the details. I thought she wasn't really invited but heard other girls talking so didnt call. She came home a few days later with the invitation that got buried in her desk. And I felt horrible that I never RSVP'd!

[PZMommy]

I would call or email. First graders are not the most reliable at getting notes home.

[bigsis]

I would email. Sometimes, we all just need a reminder. It's not necessarily a blow-off, she may have just been extra busy at the time.

[MMMommy]

I would email, but probably not call. Gives the other family time to gather their thoughts on whether they want to do a playdate and when they can do a playdate. Good luck!

[citymama]

I would definitely email a follow up. This sounds Ike something that could easily happen to us!

[kdeunc]

I would email. I am the parent who has two boys who would probably have never gotten the note home to me in the first place and if they did I would think, "sounds great I should follow up" and promptly forget about it until Christmas break! :)

[HipMama]

My DS is also in first grade. I'm not sure if I would feel comfortable just dropping him off at someone's house. All of my experiences with playdates, birthday parties ect have involved me staying the whole time. When do you make the leap from staying to drop off?