What's missing from your life?

[Pennylane]

The older I get, the more I tend to reflect on my life. I was thinking yesterday how great everything was except I really miss having friends. I was hit with a double whammy last year, as we moved across the country and I lost my mother. I still keep in touch with friends from our old town, but it's not the same. I miss having people to have lunch with, chat, shop, etc. I really feel like it is the only thing missing from my life right now.

I'm trying hard to make friends and have met some really nice people , but no one has really tried to make me a part of their circle of friends. Not sure what else to do.

So what , if anything , is missing for you?

Ann

[crayonblue]

Friends. I have lots of friends where we live and several best friends but the best friends live on the other side of the country. I need a best friend here!

[MichelleRC]

Yes, friends. Definitely. I have co-workers I am friendly with, but I grew up having a lot of 'family friends". We are missing that. Also, money. :)

[ZeeBaby]

I miss not being closer to family. We are 2 hours away, but it still isn't close enough for weekly contact. I also miss having a best friend closer. Additional disposable income would be nice too.

[hellokitty]

A bff type of friend is what I miss. One of my good friends moved away about 2 yrs ago. We still kit. But I really miss her and how effortless our friendship was when they lived local to us. I have a lot of friends here, but just not that really close and casual one, kwim? I also wish they dh and I went out on more dates. However, now that ds3 is in preschool and dh sometimes has daytime hours where he is off, we can fit in dates during the daytime.

Sent from my SPH-L720 using Tapatalk 4

[hillview]

Volunteer time. Friends/time with friends. Can I just say time overall?

[AshleyAnn]

Love. I've been single for 3 yrs straight. Prior to that I was stuck in an abusive marriage. I'be had a few dates and short flings but my soulmate seems to be hiding. I remember the good times with my ex and see happy couples together and feel very alone. Don't get me wrong I love my DD and we have so much fun as our lil two some but it always feels like part is missing. Since going thru my divorce I've helped 3 friends stabilize after seperating from their husbands and before their divorce is even final (minimum 1 yr separation in SC) they have new boyfriends that are moving in with them, combining their kids and planning a new wedding and I can't help but wonder where my boyfriend is hiding. Ahhh it felt good to vent thatt. :-)

[TwinFoxes]

My mom. :( Other than that (which is a huge, unfillable void) I'm very happy.

[Pennylane]

My mom. :( Other than that (which is a huge, unfillable void) I'm very happy.

Yes, I feel this way too. I still wake up some days and can't believe I am not going to talk to her. It just doesn't seem possible that she is gone. It is a huge hole in my life that no one else will ever fill.

Ann

[BDKmom]

Right now, I feel like I'm missing something that's just for me. Before kids, I had my career, but now I just work part time, so I don't feel as invested in that. After DS, I took a boot camp work out class that was early in the morning, so it felt like I was sneaking in something just for me. Since DD was born, I haven't really had time or energy to devote to anything like that. I guess I'm having a hard time finding an identity outside of "mom." Something that I like just because I like it, not because it has anything to do with DH or the kids.

[Twoboos]

My mom. :(


Yes, I feel this way too. I still wake up some days and can't believe I am not going to talk to her. It just doesn't seem possible that she is gone. It is a huge hole in my life that no one else will ever fill.



:yeahthat: sigh.

Also for me, some kind of purpose, for lack of a better word. I'm a sahm (never, ever intended to do that) and now the kids are in school I feel like I should be doing something. There's only so many times you can go to Target and the grocery store, only so much fulfillment you can get for doing laundry and cleaning the kitchen. Yes, I try to go to the gym, volunteer at the school, play parks and rec tennis. But there are still a lot of unfilled hours.

I guess I need to figure out what I want to do when I grow up!

[petesgirl]

Right now, I feel like I'm missing something that's just for me. Before kids, I had my career, but now I just work part time, so I don't feel as invested in that. After DS, I took a boot camp work out class that was early in the morning, so it felt like I was sneaking in something just for me. Since DD was born, I haven't really had time or energy to devote to anything like that. I guess I'm having a hard time finding an identity outside of "mom." Something that I like just because I like it, not because it has anything to do with DH or the kids.

This is how I feel too right now. I was just bawling about it a couple hours ago. :) I think the hardest part right now is that my 2 sisters aren't married and they are doing amazing things to help people in their careers. I feel so left behind and unimportant as a person.

[AngB]

Our dd. In a couple weeks, we are coming up on 4 years since she was born/died, and it still sucks. A few days ago we were at a playplace and the only other kid there was a little girl who was about 4, who also had the same name as our DD. DS1 and the little girl had a blast playing together. It about killed me hearing him say "come on ------!" as they were chasing each other.

[Indianamom2]

Sanity/my brain!

Seriously, I really do feel like I have gotten dumber over the years.

[aa2mama]

Friends. When I was a SAHM, I had several close friends that I hung out with regularly. Since returning to work full-time those friendships have drifted apart. Their evenings and weekends are family time with their husbands. And I'm wiped out at the end of the day and weekends are my catch-up on housework time. We still get together for lunch every few months, but it's just not the same. I get along well with my female co-workers, but we don't have that much in common.

A true career path. I have a job. I love my job. I love the people I work with. I have an awesome boss. Most days I'm happy to go to work. But my job is not something I am passionate about; it's more of something that I fell into. There are very limited opportunities for advancement, and I feel like I really fell short of what I should have accomplished in life.

[Mopey]

Space, nature and more community.

[BDKmom]

Our dd. In a couple weeks, we are coming up on 4 years since she was born/died, and it still sucks. A few days ago we were at a playplace and the only other kid there was a little girl who was about 4, who also had the same name as our DD. DS1 and the little girl had a blast playing together. It about killed me hearing him say "come on ------!" as they were chasing each other.

Hugs to you. That must have been heartbreaking.

[lmh2402]

absolute and total confidence in my H and my marriage

friends and a solid sense of community/belonging and being happy where we live

personal interests / hobbies / time for such things

sleep

[lalasmama]

Friends. I mean, I pay for my sister to come visit, and my other BFF comes up every few weeks. But I miss just gabbing with girlfriends over some fruity drink.

Also missing a job/career I love. Going to start going to school soon for midwifery, but until then, going to work feels like I'm heading to the dentist every day. Seriously, I'd rather get my teeth drilled!

[Dream]

Career, a job that I enjoy. I'm grateful my parents are with me, I don't have friends except family friends but I'm ok with that. But I hate my job.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Our dd. In a couple weeks, we are coming up on 4 years since she was born/died, and it still sucks. A few days ago we were at a playplace and the only other kid there was a little girl who was about 4, who also had the same name as our DD. DS1 and the little girl had a blast playing together. It about killed me hearing him say "come on ------!" as they were chasing each other.
:hug: that must have been so hard. Hoping you find some peace in the next few weeks.

[AnnieW625]

Our dd. In a couple weeks, we are coming up on 4 years since she was born/died, and it still sucks. A few days ago we were at a playplace and the only other kid there was a little girl who was about 4, who also had the same name as our DD. DS1 and the little girl had a blast playing together. It about killed me hearing him say "come on ------!" as they were chasing each other.

This exactly including the due date. We lost baby 2 in April and it was a total shock to both DH and I. Statistically I should have had a healthy baby as I was under 35, had no history of chromosome disorder babies, but I was the one in 5,000, which were my initial odds. I have yet to meet anyone named the name we had chosen for baby 2 and I am honestly kind of glad. We are pretty sure that baby 2 was a girl as well (Tri 18 is very common in girls) so even though I still loved the name Genevieve (and she probably would have gone by Gena -- like the actress) I just couldn't think about re using the name for DD2. Next year's first day of school drop off is going to be tough. I am also pretty sure that with a August 31st cut off I am sure that there will be a child in DD2's class that was born on baby 2's due date.

[KpbS]

Friends. I have a few long distance, including a long term bestie and my sister, but really no one local but DH.

[Pyrodjm]

Money!!!!

But I've survived without extravagance for this long.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Nice weather!! I live in Texas and i really hate the weather here most of the time. I love to jog and I hate not being able to jog outside 9 months out of the year. I have a Bob Duallie and i always planned on running with kids but I hate how I can't do that from May-September bc its' just too friggin' hot. By October its' cool enough to go jogging but then after the time change the days are so short it's already dark by the time i get home from work. Boo.

[twowhat?]

Work/life balance. I love my job for the most part. But it is sucking the life out of me. It requires a lot of brainpower and I am truly exhausted from thinking by the end of a workday. For the past several weeks I've been working almost every night. And when I travel it cuts into my weekends, and I hate traveling for work. I'm a homebody.

DH and I are in a rough spot right now. I'm having a hard time dealing with how much he's changed since we've had kids.

I look at my girls and how they have each other, and I miss my brother (who was really close in age to me).

In general I think I'm just missing time that I need for myself. I haven't even had evenings to spend however I want in so long. I have taken a couple of days off to get things that I need to get done (kids doctors appts, dentist appts, half day here and there for running errands) but with the consequence that I get piled on when I come back to work. I need a job like the one I have, but limited to 40 hours/week!

[rin]

A great job. I just graduated this past summer and have cobbled together some part time gigs and contract work, but I would really love to find a stable, full-time job with decent benefits/pay/hours. I spent the past 7 years getting my degree, and I would like to use it!

[bigsis]

Money! :( It could fix a lot of things in my life right now.

[TxCat]

A female best friend. I have a good number of friends, but no true best friends. Otherwise can't really complain.

[Globetrotter]

I've let go of my career for now, after trying to get back in last year. It just wasn't meant to be as other personal obligations took precedence. I'm okay with that as I will eventually do something related, perhaps not for pay though.

[Pennylane]

Our dd. In a couple weeks, we are coming up on 4 years since she was born/died, and it still sucks. A few days ago we were at a playplace and the only other kid there was a little girl who was about 4, who also had the same name as our DD. DS1 and the little girl had a blast playing together. It about killed me hearing him say "come on ------!" as they were chasing each other.

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you must have felt. Puts my complaint in perspective.

Hugs to you,

Ann

[Philly Mom]

Time and close friends nearby. I wish I had an extra hour each day to spend with with DD so that sometimes I actually could take an hour for myself. It would also be nice if DH and I could coordinate our time off so we can take a nice, long family vacation. Finally, I wish our family lived closer. We love our families and spend all of our vacations visiting with them but it would be nice to be able to just see them.

[AnnieW625]

Money! :( It could fix a lot of things in my life right now.

:yeahthat:

I also don't have a great BFF. I feel like I have a lot if great acquaintances, but not a really good group or core girlfriends. Besides a bachelorette party weekend to Tahoe in 2004 I have never had an all girls weekend away from home.

[carolinacool]

Money! :( It could fix a lot of things in my life right now.

Amen to that!

DH's job. His department was restructured and while he retained his salary and title, he had to move to working nights in a shift/production role and has lost all of his flexibility, has to work some holidays, etc. It's just tough being the only one at home with DS all the time, plus he only see DS about a couple of hours each day, and it's rushed because he's getting DS ready for school or he comes home for dinner, but can't linger. I also miss talking to him after DS has gone to bed.

I also wish we had family closer. My parents are two hours away, but as someone said, that's not close enough for weekly visits. Plus, my mom still teaches and my stepdad is a pastor who preaches a couple of Sundays each month, so they don't have the most flexible schedule anyway. DH's family lives across the country.

ETA: I do feel very, very fortunate that we both have really, really good friends locally. My girlfriends and we also have some great couple friends. About 10 years ago, I couldn't say that, and I do remember how lonely that can feel.

[Tea4two]

More time with DH. Lately, we are living like roommates and I am feeling really disconnected. I would love to spend more time with my friends and rekindle some of my friendships. More money. Only one income now and it is tough. Some time to myself.

[arivecchi]

Time to relax. Between work and kids my life is chaotic and I have no downtime.

Also, stability. My DH's job is unstable and I really wish he could find something that was more stable and made him happier.

[mommylamb]

Exercise. Finding the time is really hard between work, kids, and commute.

[boolady]

My mom. Not much more to say about that.

Work-life balance for DH, in particular, as I'm at a better place in that regard than I have been since over a year ago, finally. DH leaves the house every day at approx. 5:45 a.m. and gets home at 7:00 p.m. due to a career change (which has been good) that requires a long commute. A few more years, and hopefully he'll have enough experience in this derivation of his former career that he can get a great job closer to home combining his skills sets from both careers. Until then, and it's not his fault, despite working full-time outside the home and then some, I am almost entirely responsible for everything else for DD and the home.

Work satisfaction. Which I just said wasn't as bad as it had been, but isn't awesome. Still too many ongoing stressors out there keeping me up at night.

Time for me to take care of myself. I need to lose weight and exercise, not only for weight loss, but stress relief and general health reasons, but it's not there. Please don't quote me to tell me that if I really wanted to, I could go to the gym at 10:00 at night when I finish making lunches and doing laundry and everything else, because at that point, if I don't have work to do for my job, I'm exhausted.

I miss my BFF. She lives not even an hour away, but since we've had kids, it's da*n near impossible to get together other than a few times a year, with families in tow. I miss good, old-fashioned get-it-all-out-there 2 hour chats over a coffee.

[Giantbear]

a sane wife ....... i guess i shouldn't say it like that, a supportive unselfish mate is probably a better way to say it.

[Fairy]

A healthy body. I'm in pain all the time from one thing or the other, it's not all fixable with weight loss, and I just want to be able to not go "ow ow ow" aloud or to myself every time I get up or turn or move or grow hair. And it would be nice to have a single digit size. Other than that, I feel like I'm pretty fulfilled overall.

[petesgirl]

Our dd. In a couple weeks, we are coming up on 4 years since she was born/died, and it still sucks. A few days ago we were at a playplace and the only other kid there was a little girl who was about 4, who also had the same name as our DD. DS1 and the little girl had a blast playing together. It about killed me hearing him say "come on ------!" as they were chasing each other.

Ahh, I'm sorry :(. This definitely trumps all the pity parties I throw for myself. I can't imagine losing a child but I'm sure it is the hardest thing to deal with.

[citymama]

Time to slow down.

Time with my parents and friends back home. Time for my parents to spend with their grandkids.

I really, really miss my parents and only see them max. once a year.

Thanks for this thread. I'm going to make sure that I do something to change this.

[123LuckyMom]

I would like to be pain free and able to be fit and strong again. I have always been athletic, and exercise is a huge stress reliever for me, so I really miss it. It's been two years now, and I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I may never be pain free again. I'm not happy about that, and my children are not, either. DS misses his old, active mom.

I also miss having a career in which I can exercise my skills and feel good about the work I'm doing. I love being a mom, but I don't love being a cook, an errand girl, and a housekeeper! I don't know how to rebuild a career now, though, because I really do want to be around whenever my kids are.

I guess what I'm missing most is feeling contented and inspired. All is well, but I'm in kind of a blah mode.

[bisous]

I feel like I have everything except time. Too many friends to be a good friend to any of them, too many obligations, too many goals for the house, too many personal goals, too many chores, too many things to do with the kids, etc. I crave time. I would love to read a novel but I cannot imagine prioritizing that right now! Maybe that's what I need to do. When I was homeschooling, I planned one day a month as "book day" where the ONLY thing on the calendar is reading. We'd wear jammies all day and I'd read to the kids some (they'd read on their own as well) but I'd also spend a good portion of the day reading books *I* wanted to read. I miss this kind of fulfillment and doing something for me!

[Clarity]

Peace. Calmness. Life is overwhelmingly busy/crazy and I just wish our family life wasn't so rushed. I want to have and be at peace with life. Maybe even bored sometime. *Serenity now*

[theriviera]

my family. i wish we lived closer. it's a full day of travel by plane to see them so we don't do it as often as i would like. when we do see them it's for a week+ at a time. by the end of the week everyone is a bit sick of each other. i wish we leaved closer so we could do weekend trips and more often.

[lcarlson90]

I thing I feel is missing from my life is definitely friends. I don't think I have heard any really great friends except for my DH and Sister since college. Most of the people I work with are much older and I don't meet a lot of people through my kids since I work full-time and don't do the PTA thing. The few friends I had in college all live in different cities.

[Gena]

Employment. The small business I work for can't survive sequestration and other economic issues, so we our closing our doors at the end of the month. My co-workers and I are all out of a job.

[westwoodmom04]

Employment. The small business I work for can't survive sequestration and other economic issues, so we our closing our doors at the end of the month. My co-workers and I are all out of a job.

I am really really sorry to hear that. I hope you write your Congressperson/Senator so they know the consequences of their inaction.

[citymama]

Employment. The small business I work for can't survive sequestration and other economic issues, so we our closing our doors at the end of the month. My co-workers and I are all out of a job.

So sorry to hear it. Hope you find a job you love soon!

[Binkandabee]

My Dad and my breasts are the top two things that I miss the very most. As far as what is actually missing from my life right now, I'd say friends for sure. I've got a number acquaintances, but really only 1 actual friend and she lives 2 hours away. I'm working on making a new friend with one of DD's friends Mom's, though :) We're having dinner next week and I REALLY hope it goes well. We chat a lot together and just decided we needed to make time for just us. Fingers crossed! I like her a lot.

[Pennylane]

So sorry to hear it. Hope you find a job you love soon!

Ditto!

Ann

[Pennylane]

My Dad and my breasts are the top two things that I miss the very most. As far as what is actually missing from my life right now, I'd say friends for sure. I've got a number acquaintances, but really only 1 actual friend and she lives 2 hours away. I'm working on making a new friend with one of DD's friends Mom's, though :) We're having dinner next week and I REALLY hope it goes well. We chat a lot together and just decided we needed to make time for just us. Fingers crossed! I like her a lot.

Hope your dinner goes well! It's almost like dating isn't it?

Ann