S/O Did your DH/SO fall in love with your newborn right away?

[Philly Mom]

DH fell in love with DD right away, I think :). I am concerned though, and I think he is too, that he will not feel the same way with our new DD due in 8 weeks. I think this may be exacerbated because he will be with DD1 a lot in the beginning to help ease her transition to big sisterhood. Especially with second children, how long before your DH/SO were attached?

[MelissaTC]

He fell in love immediately. I had a c-section so he was able to hold him first, etc.. It was in my birth plan that he was to announce the sex of the baby and all that, and frankly he enjoyed declaring "We have a son!". It was straight out of "The Lion King", lol. He had never been around babies, was scared to hold a baby but once M arrived, he jumped in with both feet and got the little buddy of his dreams. The two of them are so much alike and are so tight that I swear one day, M will ask my DH to be his best man. I can see it happening.

[Pennylane]

Yes, but my DH is such a big softie when it comes to his dc.

Ann

[div_0305]

Yes, but my DH is such a big softie when it comes to his dc.

Ann

:yeahthat:

[Giantbear]

Love at first sight for me.

[queenmama]

We were both worried about feeling that incredible love for DD like we had for DS. He was our only love for 12 years, after all. But we -- all three of us -- were goners from the moment we saw her.

When we had him, I think it took longer because we were young and terrified! haha! But he was sooo proud to be a daddy, he made a point to scratch his face or check his watch as he walked through the hospital, just so everyone would see his official daddy wristband.

Lara

[petesgirl]

Well we haven't discussed this but I think I would say no, DH did not fall in love right away with DS. He held him off and on at the hospital but only if I asked him to while I did something, etc. I'd say it took a few days for him. But he also was a little disappointed it wasn't a girl. :)

[TxCat]

DH feels an immediate sense of protection, but love/connectedness? Probably not until 4-6 months for DD1 and probably the same for DD2.

[westwoodmom04]

DH feels an immediate sense of protection, but love/connectedness? Probably not until 4-6 months for DD1 and probably the same for DD2.

Yes, this. My dh isn't big on the newborn stage.

[specialp]

Very much so which surprised me as he has never been around babies much and newborns never. Completely smitten with his own, however.

[BabyBearsMom]

My DH was enamored with both girls instantly. I remember, both times, seeing his eyes well up with tears when he saw them and saying "she is just so beautiful." These moments are some of my favorites. He is always the one soothing me because I'm the one worried that I won't love the new baby (he is also always right on that item, I do alway love the babies).

[SnuggleBuggles]

Yes, dh bonded and fell in love faster than I did. I think, in hindsight, I had a touch of PPD with ds1. Luckily dh was fantastic to both ds1 and I. :) He cried at both births...I didn't.

[MamaInMarch]

DH was crazy over DS from the first second he saw him. I think he was so excited to be a dad and have a son that it just fell into place. It continued to be so as time went on because DS was equally happy with either if us, was comforted equally by both of us and accepted a bottle so DH was able to feed him. I had more trouble bonding because of some PPD I didn't know I had, plus I really struggle with anxiety in the newborn stage.

DD was a mama's girl from the moment she arrived. Hated everyone but me and would only nurse. No calming by anyone else, no relaxing or snuggling with anyone else for months. If you weren't mom and you weren't nursing her, poo on you! I know he loved her but really bonding took months - he just didn't know how to do it without holding or snuggling or feeding. I don't blame him a bit. She has since decided Dad isn't so bad after all and we are now pretty much equal in her eyes. He is also now wrapped around her finger. :)

[daisymommy]

Yep, we were both head over heels crazy in love with all 4 of our babies right away. DH welled up in tears after each one was born and was cooing to them. Trust me, your heart grows and grows with each new baby!


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[MamaMolly]

Nope. DH is not a newborn person. It was really scary for me as a new mom with our first, but now I realize it is just the way he is and it wasn't a big deal with #2. He bonds more and more the older they get.

[lizzywednesday]

Love? Yes.
Bond? No.

But, in his defense, there were extenuating circumstances and I kind of felt like he was deliberately trying to keep DD at a distance because he was so afraid something "bad" would happen to her in her early days.

They get on much better now, but he didn't start paying her any mind until she was over a year old, so it's hard. (And, of course, right now she's in an "all-Mommy-all-the-time" phase, so it's freaking exhausting. To hear my mom tell it, I never went through that as a kid!)

[lcarlson90]

I think DH loved DS1 when he was first born but didn't really have a connection with him right away. It took a few months for that to really develop. When I was preggo with DS2 I remember DH feeling like he wouldn't have the same love for DS2 because he already had such a strong bond with DS1. I think he actually loved DS2 sooner because he understood the magnitude of what it meant to be a Dad already.

[Philly Mom]

I think DH loved DS1 when he was first born but didn't really have a connection with him right away. It took a few months for that to really develop. When I was preggo with DS2 I remember DH feeling like he wouldn't have the same love for DS2 because he already had such a strong bond with DS1. I think he actually loved DS2 sooner because he understood the magnitude of what it meant to be a Dad already.

I think that is the concern. DH is so close to DD and he is concerned he will not feel the same about the new DD coming. I think he forgets that it took him a bit to really bond with DD because he was working a lot and I was doing the feeding, etc.