Acknowledging pregnancy loss

[Nechums]

I tend to lack tact when it comes to these things so I can really use some help. Someone I'm friendly with had a second trimester pregnancy loss. I only heard about it second hand (her DH told my DH). She emailed me about something mundane and I need to respond. Do I acknowledge the loss? What do I say? She's not a super close friend, but more than just an acquaintance.

Thanks!

[citymama]

Yes, I would acknowledge it with kindness and care. Something like: "I am so sorry about your loss. I am sure this must be a very hard time. Please let me know if I can be of any support" (the last sentence if you mean it and you're close enough to do so). Or words to that effect.

[candaceb]

I agree with city mama except for the last bit. I would make a specific offer to help - such as "is it ok if I bring dinner for you on Tuesday?". After my early 3rd tri loss I couldn't function enough to respond to vague offers of help.

[AngB]

I agree with city mama except for the last bit. I would make a specific offer to help - such as "is it ok if I bring dinner for you on Tuesday?". After my early 3rd tri loss I couldn't function enough to respond to vague offers of help.

:yeahthat:

A specific "can I do xxxx for you at this time ?" is much more helpful than "if there's anything we can do..." type stuff. They are likely in a fog and don't even know what to ask plus it's awkward to say, "ok, can you bring us dinner?" (Or if you aren't the cooking type, a pizza gift card is nice too.) I totally remember coming home from the hospital to no food (lots of plants though), it sucked to have to think about especially while recovering from my c-section still, I had no energy to make decisions about stuff like that.

Please do acknowledge it. Her dh told your dh expecting him to relay it to you. It's not like gossiping, sometimes it's just easier to get the word out that way.

[citymama]

I agree with city mama except for the last bit. I would make a specific offer to help - such as "is it ok if I bring dinner for you on Tuesday?". After my early 3rd tri loss I couldn't function enough to respond to vague offers of help.

Yes, MUCH better. Thanks. :hug:

[Nechums]

Thank you, everyone. I really appreciate your input. I always want to say the right thing, but I'm just always a little bit off.

[happymomma]

Yes, I would acknowledge it with kindness and care. Something like: "I am so sorry about your loss. I am sure this must be a very hard time. Please let me know if I can be of any support" (the last sentence if you mean it and you're close enough to do so). Or words to that effect.

:yeahthat: I also had someone that I didn't know well that had lost their twins recently. When I saw her at the back to school night, I said hi and asked how she was doing. Then I had acknowledged her loss. We had a short discussion about her loss and I had asked if she needed anything. I didn't want to push because we were more acquaintances.