Rude comments about food

[crayonblue]

I hate, hate, hate it when kids insult whatever food I fix for them and say things like "gross" or "ewww". And it's really not a whole lot better to look at the food with a horrified expression and say, "I don't like that!" I'm sorry but an older elementary aged kid SHOULD know better. I've drilled into DD from the time she was little that she can say no thanks but she is NOT to be rude about food when someone has taken the time to cook and offer her something.

Today I got a commentary on the unhealthiness of the cookies I baked. From a 5th grader. That's obnoxious. And we all know exactly who that is coming from. Fine, teach your kids that wheat is evil and sugar is from the devil but please, please also teach them not to insult the cook!

And while I'm at it, adults are often no more polite. Last Thanksgiving I cooked the entire meal and got comments from adults about how they didn't like such and such. And to top it off one of the junior high boys walked up to the "adult" table and dumped his turkey onto his mom's plate and said, "I don't like this." She seemed to think that was perfectly normal behavior. And considering that she made several rude comments, I am sure it was perfectly normal behavior.

[petesgirl]

I have to admit, my DH and his family (mil included) all have horrible manners when it comes to this. I am mad at DH about 3x a week for some comment he has made about my cooking!! Totally rude, hurtful, and annoying.

[crayonblue]

I have to admit, my DH and his family (mil included) all have horrible manners when it comes to this. I am mad at DH about 3x a week for some comment he has made about my cooking!! Totally rude, hurtful, and annoying.

My in-laws are great about keeping their mouths shut and happily eating whatever BUT three out of four of their kids are quick to say rude things to the cook about the food. I have been SHOCKED by some of the comments at the Thanksgiving table at my MIL's house. Considering the hours and hours of work she puts into making T'Day special and yummy, I am horrified for her. I just don't get how MIL and FIL are really great at this but 3/4s of their kids are terrible!

[BunnyBee]

I have to admit, my DH and his family (mil included) all have horrible manners when it comes to this. I am mad at DH about 3x a week for some comment he has made about my cooking!! Totally rude, hurtful, and annoying.

What?!?! He needs to stop that before the kids copy him! I would not cook for him. Seriously. That's so disrespectful!

OP, I'm sorry. I agree. It's rude and disrespectful. We have tried to teach our kids to say no thank you, and if pressed (someone pushing food), no thank you, I don't prefer cookies.

[oneplustwo]

I have to admit, my DH and his family (mil included) all have horrible manners when it comes to this. I am mad at DH about 3x a week for some comment he has made about my cooking!! Totally rude, hurtful, and annoying.

"What's that you said, dear? You'd rather do the cooking yourself? Why, such a lovely offer, I ACCEPT! Here's the apron, dear, I'm sure you can figure out where everything is. I'm off to have a nice glass of wine in the meantime."

[petesgirl]

What?!?! He needs to stop that before the kids copy him! I would not cook for him. Seriously. That's so disrespectful!

OP, I'm sorry. I agree. It's rude and disrespectful. We have tried to teach our kids to say no thank you, and if pressed (someone pushing food), no thank you, I don't prefer cookies.
Yeah, I have gone on cooking strikes before, but he totally doesn't mind eating hamburgers and pizza from take out every night so I don't think it's a great punishment :) He kno s it bothers me and he does but sometimes his mouth opens before his brain thinks. And I will be the first to admit that I'm not the best cook in the world...

[crayonblue]

"What's that you said, dear? You'd rather do the cooking yourself? Why, such a lovely offer, I ACCEPT! Here's the apron, dear, I'm sure you can figure out where everything is. I'm off to have a nice glass of wine in the meantime."

Seriously!

[specialp]

I agree. So annoying. I hosted a large potluck party several years ago and in addition to the main course, I made a pasta dish that had feta in. This lady came up and told me she couldn't eat it because she doesn't like feta and how it is the only cheese she doesn't like and how nasty she thinks it is. Lots of people don't like feta so no biggie, but there were 30 other things to eat so I'm not sure why she hunted me down to let me know. There was seriously no other point to the conversation other than to let me know she didn't like what I brought. Anyway, a few years later when we had another party I commented to her that one dish had feta in so she should not try it. She couldn't believe I remembered she didn't like feta. Umm, I don't forget rudeness quickly.

[MamaMolly]

One of the first things we were taught in French class was to say 'I'm sure it is delicious but it's just not for me.' It is a polite and socially acceptable way of refusing to eat something. Very handy! I'm trying to drill it into my girl's heads in English.

I once made a pound cake for a boyfriend who told me it was 'almost as good' as his sister's. :irked: He got the shock of a lifetime when I picked up the entire cake and dumped it into the trash. My MIL made FIL an apple pie ONCE. He made some mouthy comment and the rest of the pie went into the trash and she has flat refused to make another. They have been married 49 years. There is a reason she and I get along. ;)

[crayonblue]

I once made a pound cake for a boyfriend who told me it was 'almost as good' as his sister's. :irked: He got the shock of a lifetime when I picked up the entire cake and dumped it into the trash. My MIL made FIL an apple pie ONCE. He made some mouthy comment and the rest of the pie went into the trash and she has flat refused to make another. They have been married 49 years. There is a reason she and I get along. ;)

Ohhhhhh, you are awesome!!!! Wish I could do this. I totally should. Maybe I can work up the nerve!

[Gracemom]

Yes, I hate this! Last year I had a girl scout tell me that the bagged presliced apples I brought for a snack were not as healthy as buying ones myself and slicing them. Gee, thanks, you little know it all.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

oh wow, i am shocked at all these stories!! i can't stand people who make comments like this. a 3 year-old is one thing, but a 5th grader?? Good gracious. I can't imagine people having the gall to complain to the host about food. I am a very picky eater, and if there is nothing i like, i just keep quiet and don't eat. i can't believe some adults actually take the host aside to complain..i am just speechless.

last year BIL and his family stayed over for DS's birthday party. we ordered pizza, and got several plain cheese pizza, along with sausage/peppers. On of our nephews (7yo at the time) went up to DH and said that he didn't like any of the pizza and he want ones with just sausage on them bc i guess cheese wasn't enough and he wanted sausage but he didn't even want to pick the peppers off. So this year DH made an effort to get half a pizza with only sausage on them and we pointed that out to him. He then said he didn't like Pizza Hut and only liked Dominos! OMG, are you freaking kidding me. Then he pretty much refused to eat anything we had in the house. We had frozen waffles from Trader Joes but he refused to eat it, bc it wasn't Eggo or whatever brand he liked. He was seriously whining and pouting at every occasion we had to eat bc we didn't have the brand of junk he was used to eating. Yes, i get that kids are picky but it's not like we were offering fish head soup or even any sort of vegetable, and even still..i think an 8yo is old enough to not make a big scene over every little meal. We offered PB&J sandwich but he didn't like the type of jelly and didn't like the type of peanut butter. Dude, if i had ever said or done any of that my mom would have been mortified!!!

[lalasmama]

DD has learned that she's not allowed to comment on an unliked meal for a week.... Yes, this is a rule at our house! Thankfully, she's a good eater, and, generally couldn't care less what she's served for dinner. I just didn't want her to think it was okay to (even unintentionally) hurt the cook's feelings. The only problem we've ran into is that she's allergic to artificial dyes, so she'll (again, unintentionally) offend someone by saying, "I don't think I'm allowed to eat that because my parents didn't make it." Then I have to explain about the dye allergies, and check ingredients, and, often, go into detail about what even "just a little" could do....

I just can't imagine actually telling someone their cooking wasn't good!

[doberbrat]

I HATE that. I have drilled it into my kids and often remind them before we go to someone's house to eat. But I also dont put up with it at home. I simply remind them that I will never force them to eat anything - they can make the choice to eat politely or be hungry. They are allowed to say "I dont really like it" if they are asked directly since I dont want them to lie.

Teaching kids manners seems to be so overlooked these days.

[bisous]

Yes, kids by that age should know! I know that some of the kids I get at my house have social skills issues but it is still dang annoying. This reminds me that I need to remind my kids again. They're generally polite but these things bear repeating.

[sariana]

Not quite the same thing, but after DS's last soccer game, when snacks were being passed out, I was chanting under my breath, "Please don't ask if it has High Fructose Corn Syrup in it!" He has Asperger's, and all the reminders in the world just don't get through to him. (Thankfully, he didn't say anything!)

[dogmom]

Well, feel free to invite me to Thanksgiving dinner. Because if one of my kids tried that Turkey trick I would lost in and verbally abused him to the point that you would had call child services on me. Yes, my kids make faces at MY cooking, which then my DH yells at them about. But they just learn to say politely,"No thank you" when at someone else's table. They would be appalled, and are, when their friends make rude remarks about food. You are right, a toddler you can't control. But an older elementary school kid it's just bad manners.

[hillview]

I HATE that. I have drilled it into my kids and often remind them before we go to someone's house to eat. But I also dont put up with it at home. I simply remind them that I will never force them to eat anything - they can make the choice to eat politely or be hungry. They are allowed to say "I dont really like it" if they are asked directly since I dont want them to lie.

Teaching kids manners seems to be so overlooked these days.
:yeahthat:
this exactly. DS1 is there. DS2 is NOT yet but getting closer.

[elliput]

I'm on board with this thread!!!

I do give my DD a slight bit of leeway due to her autism. But only very slight. She is still required to try a bite of what is being served in order to earn her dessert. She'll fight it and claim she doesn't like something she gobbled up a few weeks ago, but in the end I will get her to admit whatever food she was refusing is actually tasty.

FIL, on the the other hand, does not get a pass and gets called out on it every.single.time, which is practically every meal. He claims he's joking, but DH and I don't care. We have to remind him over and over and over that what he just did was rude, and not humorous in any way. I swear MIL was going to kick him in the shins for his behavior also, especially since he was doing this in front of my kids.

[lizzywednesday]

I don't have patience for rudeness, which is why I get so frustrated with my SIL who will loudly declare "oh, my kids won't eat that" ... whuck?

[BabbyO]

I HATE that. I have drilled it into my kids and often remind them before we go to someone's house to eat. But I also dont put up with it at home. I simply remind them that I will never force them to eat anything - they can make the choice to eat politely or be hungry. They are allowed to say "I dont really like it" if they are asked directly since I dont want them to lie.

Teaching kids manners seems to be so overlooked these days.

How do you implement this? Do you truly let them choose to eat or go hungry? I'm asking because we are struggling with this very thing in our house right now. Our boys are 2 & 4 yo and have refused to eat about 75% of the meals that DH has made lately. Typically we have lots of leftovers and I don't mind letting them choose another leftover in lieu of what is being offered. But we're struggling with what to do when there aren't other leftovers. We WON'T become short order cooks. At what age is it appropriate to let them choose to eat or go hungry? We also struggle with them asking for fruit after not eating (or not eating much). How do you say no to fruit...but when is it ok to say they must eat this much of X before they have Y?

[♥ms.pacman♥]

How do you implement this? Do you truly let them choose to eat or go hungry? I'm asking because we are struggling with this very thing in our house right now. Our boys are 2 & 4 yo and have refused to eat about 75% of the meals that DH has made lately. Typically we have lots of leftovers and I don't mind letting them choose another leftover in lieu of what is being offered. But we're struggling with what to do when there aren't other leftovers. We WON'T become short order cooks. At what age is it appropriate to let them choose to eat or go hungry? We also struggle with them asking for fruit after not eating (or not eating much). How do you say no to fruit...but when is it ok to say they must eat this much of X before they have Y?

our kids are 2.5 and 3.5 and we have started saying that if they don't want to eat what we have prepared, they don't eat. we do provide fruit and stuff as well, and they drink a glass of milk before bed, so they're not totally starving if they don't eat..and we do tend to give things they like to eat (e.g. we wont' give them spicy food, we give those "naked nuggets" from costco). But there have been a number of times where DS didn't want to eat what we made (he didn't even want to try it, he just said it looked funny) so we just said that was all there was to eat. he did whine a bit but it wasn't that big of a deal. at this age i don't think its a huge thing to skip meals. And yeah, i refuse to be a short-order cook! after seeing how picky my nephew is and how he basically refuses to eat anything but certain brands of processed junk i really really want to nip it in the bud.

[ha98ed14]

I don't have patience for rudeness, which is why I get so frustrated with my SIL who will loudly declare "oh, my kids won't eat that" ... whuck?

OMG, yes!!! Then BYODinner for your picky kids!!!!!

[BabbyO]

our kids are 2.5 and 3.5 and we have started saying that if they don't want to eat what we have prepared, they don't eat. we do provide fruit and stuff as well, and they drink a glass of milk before bed, so they're not totally starving if they don't eat..and we do tend to give things they like to eat (e.g. we wont' give them spicy food, we give those "naked nuggets" from costco). But there have been a number of times where DS didn't want to eat what we made (he didn't even want to try it, he just said it looked funny) so we just said that was all there was to eat. he did whine a bit but it wasn't that big of a deal. at this age i don't think its a huge thing to skip meals. And yeah, i refuse to be a short-order cook! after seeing how picky my nephew is and how he basically refuses to eat anything but certain brands of processed junk i really really want to nip it in the bud.

Thanks. We typically don't have fruit with dinner....because they eat fruit ALL the time. Nor do we do milk before bed...but good to know what others do. This is totally new territory for us. Usually are kids are VERY good eaters, but the last month or two has become very challenging. I totally agree we're trying to nip it in the bud. To me it seems that the kids are refusing most foods (except spaghetti) with tomato/tomato sauce. DH and I are having a hard time coming up with new ideas especially since we have to avoid dairy. We're in a rut and the kids are rebelling! :)

[PunkyBoo]

Thanks. We typically don't have fruit with dinner....because they eat fruit ALL the time. Nor do we do milk before bed...but good to know what others do. This is totally new territory for us. Usually are kids are VERY good eaters, but the last month or two has become very challenging. I totally agree we're trying to nip it in the bud. To me it seems that the kids are refusing most foods (except spaghetti) with tomato/tomato sauce. DH and I are having a hard time coming up with new ideas especially since we have to avoid dairy. We're in a rut and the kids are rebelling! :)

We do something similar as I also refuse to short order cook. I tell them they can eat what I serve (I will make modifications knowing their preferences- like no beans or tomatoes in Punkins salads, or more rice/less meat in Boo's dish) our they can have a banana. That is my only fallback option. I figure milk and a banana is enough of a meal and is healthy enough. Boo is a major fruit lover and would live on fruit, rice and crackers if I let him. But most evenings he'll try what's for dinner and then resort to the banana only if he really doesn't like the dinner.

[crayonblue]

DD1 is so incredibly picky. Like will only eat spaghetti noodles with parmesan cheese, no sauce, and absolutely no butter. Things like that. So, before we go over to other people's houses for dinner, we talk. If I know the menu, we talk about what she might like. If there is something that is passably tolerable to her, she knows going in what she can try to eat. If it's all bad (to her), then I pack a little something that she can eat on the way home. She's old enough now that I am not going to whip out a soy butter sandwich when the host has provided food. There have been times when DD1 eats plain rice and one bite of chicken at someone's house but I'm ok with that because she tried.

Despite her pickiness, she knows to say thanks and no thanks and to be polite.

Thank the good Lord above that DD3 will eat anything because I am not so sure I could convince her not to loudly proclaim her thoughts on the food. Today she ate a hamburger and after every bite, "Hmmmmmmmmm, this is sooooooooo good!!!!!!!!!!!!" :)

[BabbyO]

We do something similar as I also refuse to short order cook. I tell them they can eat what I serve (I will make modifications knowing their preferences- like no beans or tomatoes in Punkins salads, or more rice/less meat in Boo's dish) our they can have a banana. That is my only fallback option. I figure milk and a banana is enough of a meal and is healthy enough. Boo is a major fruit lover and would live on fruit, rice and crackers if I let him. But most evenings he'll try what's for dinner and then resort to the banana only if he really doesn't like the dinner.

heehe...a Banana is about the only fruit I wouldn't offer because my kids go through more than 20 bananas each week - and if we add to many more it starts to upset the digestive balance! :) Plus they would choose banana over any and all food - Peanut would choose banana over cake.

[Corie]

Teaching kids manners seems to be so overlooked these days.



I agree!!

[Binkandabee]

My DD is like this, despite me trying to teach her not to be. She's a really picky eater and it drives me crazy. Every time she goes to someone else's house for dinner, I tell her, you can eat only what you like, but you are never to say you don't like something someone has prepared for you.

[MamaSnoo]

Yes, I hate this! Last year I had a girl scout tell me that the bagged presliced apples I brought for a snack were not as healthy as buying ones myself and slicing them. Gee, thanks, you little know it all.

Any GS old enough to make that comment is old enough to slice up her own apple!