Umm...Just WOW. FB etiquette fail

[BabbyO]

I have to post this here because I'm SO mad for my friend right now I want to slap someone who commented on her FB status. She is an amazing woman with 3 kiddos. Shortly after having her 3rd she found a lump while BF (she says BF saved her life and it probably did). She has battled and beaten Breast Cancer. A few years after her diagnosis her husband was diagnosed with a rare and serious condition that can be cancerous and/or require liver transplant. He was successfully treated and is doing well. Well, her family has been struck a 3rd time and her 13 DD has been diagnosed with the same condition her husband was. They are dealing with a scared little girl and have had to go through so much.

A family member posted about a possible treatment they had come across while doing some reading and mentioned it in a FB status update posted by my friend. My friend posted that her DD's doctor had spoken to her about the treatment and was familiar with it. When she referred to the doctor she used his first name only. Another person (I don't recognize the name, so I can only assume some sort of friend/acquaintance) called her out for not using his proper title and last name - so Dr. Lastname, stating that he'd worked long and hard and deserves the respect of his patients to use his proper title!

It turns out the Doctor ASKS his patients to use just his first name. That is his preference. But seriously WHO calls someone out on something like this on FB when they don't know the whole story. Who calls someone going through all this crap out on FB for anything. I just want to scream "what the h3ll is your problem? How well could you know our friend if you don't know that she is one of the most respectful people around. She would only call a doctor by his first name if asked to do so. And furthermore....is that really the important thing here!?"

Ok, I just had to get that off my chest before I started a FB fight that I can't start.

[crl]

Wow. That's bad. I'm sorry for your friend that someone was so rude to her in such a difficult time.

Catherine

[arivecchi]

I'd have to chime in as follows: "In my opinion, berating a friend for misuse of a "title" is a much greater breach of etiquette than not using said title."

[mommylamb]

What an a$$.

ETA: OP, I do not think you should say something. Your friend might (and should) be offended, but she may not want her friends and acquaintances arguing on her wall and getting pinged with notifications in the back and forth that could ensue. It would take a lot of self restraint not to say anything, but I honestly thing that's the best thing here.

[wellyes]

I'd have to chime in as follows: "In my opinion, berating a friend for misuse of a "title" is a much greater breach of etiquette than not using said title."

Well put.

[elektra]

I'd have to chime in as follows: "In my opinion, berating a friend for misuse of a "title" is a much greater breach of etiquette than not using said title."
Ooooh, that would really get to me too. And I usually try to stay out of "Facebook fights" but I would really feel compelled to comment.

This is good. It would be really hard for me not to just say something like, "WTF is your problem? You are going to split hairs over titles? Can't believe you would even mention that.
The thing is, you often do not know that person's relationship to the original FB person. It could be like their boss or something where they would really not appreciate a fight getting started.
I think arivecchi's post sort of gets around that though.

[BabbyO]

I'd have to chime in as follows: "In my opinion, berating a friend for misuse of a "title" is a much greater breach of etiquette than not using said title."

Her relative chimed in much more gently (but to the point) than I could....I just couldn't believe my eyes. How on earth could that thought have crossed anyone's mind? I just don't get it.

Mommylamb - you got it right on!

Elektra - You're exactly right about why I didn't comment. I don't know the poster or their relationship to my friend, so it was probably best handled by people closer to the situation. But I'm still seeing red!

[Melaine]

You know, it is rare (never?) for me to jump in on a facebook debate/fight but in a case where someone who is struggling needs a defender....I might speak up. I'm disgusted that anyone would be that insensitive and petty. I wish there was a "dislike" button on facebook, I really do. I think a lot of folks might start to grasp how others perceive their comments, even if they are otherwise socially dense. ARGH.

[AngB]

That is so ridiculous!

[Globetrotter]

What a way to provide support when your friends are at their lowest point. I'm stunned by their callous comment.

[lkoala]

ETA: OP, I do not think you should say something. Your friend might (and should) be offended, but she may not want her friends and acquaintances arguing on her wall and getting pinged with notifications in the back and forth that could ensue. It would take a lot of self restraint not to say anything, but I honestly thing that's the best thing here.

:yeahthat:

I think your friend has much more important things to worry about than this and will probably be concentrating on that which helps her family at this time. The idiotic facebook poster should just go away if they can't be helpful.

[TwinFoxes]

This is one of those situations where I just can't wrap my head around how someone could think that's acceptable human behavior. Petty, weird, unkind, just plain wrong. I'd really have a hard time saying something, even though I would know I shouldn't.

[BabbyO]

What an a$$.

ETA: OP, I do not think you should say something. Your friend might (and should) be offended, but she may not want her friends and acquaintances arguing on her wall and getting pinged with notifications in the back and forth that could ensue. It would take a lot of self restraint not to say anything, but I honestly thing that's the best thing here.

This is exactly why I posted here and didn't reply on FB. I was steaming mad, but my friend should not be subject to more insensitivity by stupid people. I would never fight publicly on FB, and especially not on a friend's post. I thought about PMing the person, but that could also be a problem. My friend's relative nicely, but sternly mentioned that the doctor requested to be addressed by his first name only, and that the respectful thing to do is follow his wishes.

The respectful thing for me to do is keep my nose out of it except to show my friend support for the difficulty they are going through. I sent my P&PT's and ignored the comment...except to blow off steam here! ;)

[BabbyO]

This is one of those situations where I just can't wrap my head around how someone could think that's acceptable human behavior. Petty, weird, unkind, just plain wrong. I'd really have a hard time saying something, even though I would know I shouldn't.

Where is the like button!?

[petesgirl]

SO uncalled for! I wonder if the person is a doctor, also. I have a co-worker whose husband is a doctor (but not practicing, as he couldn't find a job in his field of interest) and she is so very quick to remind us often that he is a doctor and he earned his title, no matter what job he is currently in. It gets tiring to hear over and over.....

[BabbyO]

SO uncalled for! I wonder if the person is a doctor, also. I have a co-worker whose husband is a doctor (but not practicing, as he couldn't find a job in his field of interest) and she is so very quick to remind us often that he is a doctor and he earned his title, no matter what job he is currently in. It gets tiring to hear over and over.....

Hmmm...I hadn't thought of that. That would get old, though!

[hellokitty]

What a loser. It was inappropriate of that person to make that comment, but it would be awesome if someone would call that person out on that! I mean, if we are going to get all nit picky over stuff like that, why not just go all out? :rolleye0014: FWIW, a large portion of our family are physicians, and the only one out of all of them, who would get all hung up about the title thing is the one who is now a retired doc. The younger ones are so much more casual about it, and it wouldn't be a big issue for them.