birthday invitations--WWYD?

[boogiemomz]

So DD's birthday is this month and we are having a party for her at a locally owned toystore. The store does great art parties, this one will be with a theme of throwing paint at a wall to make Jackson Pollack-style paintings. We booked the (rather pricey) party knowing that invitations were provided to give guests a heads up to "dress for a mess." We were happy to spare the expense, but when we got the invitations, we found that they were tri-fold papers with the bottom 1/3 of the page being a coupon to "buy your gift here" for 10% off. I think that's kind of tacky, and my biggest qualm with inviting kids to birthday parties is a concern that parents will just see it as a gift-buying obligation and resent it. So I'm thinking of cutting off the coupon and just sealing and sending the invite part. But then I don't want to withhold the coupons for anyone that might want one. I also thought about just jotting down on the invite that gifts aren't necessary, and to please just come celebrate with us. I don't like to go so far as to say "No gifts please," I just don't like the way that sounds and it's not as if we don't like folks to bring gifts if they want to, I just don't want anyone to feel obligated.

WWYD? Cut off the coupons and toss them? Jot a note on the invite that no gift is necessary? Leave it alone and let people respond however?

[HannaAddict]

I would send my own invites and ask the store if they could provide discount coupon to stick in goody bag for whatever parents want later. Or detach coupon and have a stack for parents at the party. But if I used the invites, I would just leave them as is with no comment. It is probably obvious they are provided by the store and I don't think anyone will think it is a gift grab, just marketing by the store. It isn't the same thing as a hand made invite suggesting gifts. Sounds fun!!

[SnuggleBuggles]

I would send my own invites and ask the store if they could provide discount coupon to stick in goody bag for whatever parents want later. Or detach coupon and have a stack for parents at the party. But if I used the invites, I would just leave them as is with no comment. It is probably obvious they are provided by the store and I don't think anyone will think it is a gift grab, just marketing by the store. It isn't the same thing as a hand made invite suggesting gifts. Sounds fun!!

Yes. Don't overthink this. :)

I have never once in a million years thought, "oh, they're having a birthday party...they must be really greedy!" I'd leave that reservation out of your head from now on. Guests think that they are celebrating a kid's birthday. :). It's all good.

[boogiemomz]

Yes. Don't overthink this. :)

I have never once in a million years thought, "oh, they're having a birthday party...they must be really greedy!" I'd leave that reservation out of your head from now on. Guests think that they are celebrating a kid's birthday. :). It's all good.

Thanks. :) It's one of my things that I always think I'm imposing. Probably some old baggage from somewhere… I should devote some therapy to that. :D

[BabyBearsMom]

I often don't use the invites provided by the party location and just buy invites at Party city. But I wouldn't over think it. I never think of birthday parties as gift grabs. The party sounds fun!

[AnnieW625]

I don't think of parties as gift grabs either. I would send my own invites picked out by the birthday child. I would put the coupon in the goody bag as well.

ETA: Agree with the others it wouldn't bother me to receive it though.

[KpbS]

I agree it is tacky/poor manners to send an invitation with a coupon attached. I would either tear the coupon off (putting it in the goody bag is a great idea!) or just use different invitations. I wouldn't include "no gift is necessary" language at the bottom as I hate no gift parties and all of the fall-out that comes from them with some bringing gifts, others not, people feeling awkward, etc.

[TwinFoxes]

I agree it is tacky/poor manners to send an invitation with a coupon attached. I would either tear the coupon off (putting it in the goody bag is a great idea!) or just use different invitations. I wouldn't include "no gift is necessary" language at the bottom.

I agree. I wouldn't feel comfortable sending the invitation, however it wouldn't bother me if I received it. Sending it is just NMS.

[wellyes]

I'd cut them off. 10% off of a birthday party gift is going to save them, what, $3 at the absolute max? Not worth the crassness.

ETA - If I received one, it wouldn't phase me. Store-provided invites are like that. No big deal.

[crl]

I agree. I wouldn't feel comfortable sending the invitation, however it wouldn't bother me if I received it. Sending it is just NMS.

I agree. I would cut off the coupon unless that destroys the invite. If it does, then I'd send a different invitation. It sound like the way the coupon is worded it mentions buying a gift so I just wouldn't include it.

Catherine

[boogiemomz]

Thanks for the replies. I did look again at the invite and all the pertinent info about the activity, kind of paint used, wear clothes that can get messy, is UNDER the coupon, so that would get cut off too. :irked: I'm thinking I will buy new ones, type up a little blurb about what we're doing, print it out and just include it in each envelope. Perhaps ever so slightly less tacky, but better without the coupon/gift suggestion.

OR… maybe evite? Ugh, wish I had done all this further in advance. :(

[SnuggleBuggles]

Truly, just send them. People know you didn't make them. They won't hold you responsible for the coupon part. :)

[123LuckyMom]

Thanks for the replies. I did look again at the invite and all the pertinent info about the activity, kind of paint used, wear clothes that can get messy, is UNDER the coupon, so that would get cut off too. :irked: I'm thinking I will buy new ones, type up a little blurb about what we're doing, print it out and just include it in each envelope. Perhaps ever so slightly less tacky, but better without the coupon/gift suggestion.

OR… maybe evite? Ugh, wish I had done all this further in advance. :(

Shame on that toy store, but I think sending your own invitation, either paper or evite, is a good idea. I like the idea of including the coupon in the loot bags, too. We did evites this year primarily because we had to include a lot of information. Nobody seemed to mind.

[ckso]

Like pp say I wouldn't overthink it. If I had receive one it wouldn't bother me and figure it's just marketing by the store. I wouldn't think for 1 second that it's gift grabbing. Plus if I like that store I would appreciate the coupon. I don't like no gift parties either because I feel like I have to bring a gift which stresses me out more LOL




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[boogiemomz]

I wasn't planning on doing goody bags, since the kids get to take home the art they make (I think two paintings per guest). Plus, I would feel a little weird giving out the "buy your gift here" coupons after the party. The store owner is sort of a friend of mine (friend of a friend that I've gotten to know a little bit), so somehow I just wouldn't feel entirely comfortable cutting up her invitation and doing it my own way (more so than if I just scrapped the store invites and did my own). The more I think on it, I'm leaning toward just sending them and making a decision not to care what people think. Kind of in that space right now.

[KLD313]

I'm the type to agonize over these things too and then I make myself so crazy. I would just send and say who cares. It's obvious they came from the store. Make your life easy! Evites are a whole other problem, IMO. Send them and pretend the coupon doesn't exist.

[HannaAddict]

Just send them, they sounds fine and have lots of details about the party. No one else will be analyzing it and everyone will have a great time!! No more obsessing. :)

[boogiemomz]

Thank you!! Good practice for me, eliminating sources of worry that just aren't worth it. :)

[twowhat?]

Yeah, I vote just send! It's tacky but it's clear that the invitations were designed by the store. It wouldn't ruffle my feathers at all.

[TwinFoxes]

Just send them, they sounds fine and have lots of details about the party. No one else will be analyzing it and everyone will have a great time!! No more obsessing. :)

:yeahthat:

[boogiemomz]

They're in the mail! My apologies, universe, for this small contribution of tackiness. Hopefully everyone will recover. :)