WWYD- Keep or cancel appointment

[PunkyBoo]

UPDATE IN POST #10.
I posted asking for advice on Boo's behavior a while back. He suddenly became really defiant and aggressive mid-to-late summer and was getting in a lot of trouble at preschool. He was acting out at home too, hitting and spitting at us and our nanny too. It was really bad and at the preschool director's advice I asked his ped who referred us to a behavior specialist. The soonest appointment I could get is now coming up toward the end of this month.

We have had huge improvements at home by giving him lots more patience, positive reinforcement, and diverting him when we see the signs that we're headed toward a tantrum. But things were still bad at school and we ended up changing him to a new preschool on Nov. 1. He seems to be SOOOO much happier there, we think the philosophy at the new school fits his personality much better. His new teachers have said he's a good listener and cooperative. The mother of one of his new classmates stopped me at pick up last week to tell me what a sweet boy he is and how glad she is that her daughter has found him as a new friend.

We strongly suspect that the bulk of the negative behaviors were due to a "personality clash" between him and his old teacher at the old school. He was clearly unhappy there and acting out as a result. The negative behaviors we see now seem age appropriate and "normal" but he has only been at the new school for 7 days now. I don't want to put him (or myself) through the behavior evaluation if things are pretty much resolved due to the school change. Our nanny think he is fine now and age appropriate. So I want to cancel the appointment BUT I'm worried that things will get tough again and then we'll have to make a new appointment that would be months away again. WWYD?

[hillview]

I'd still go.

[AnnieW625]

I would probably still go eventually but now I would reschedule for a month or two out just in case his behavior reverts back to being what it was before. I am so glad to know that things are going better.

I think it is best to follow your gut though.

[PZMommy]

I would still go. Typically once you have a first appointment it is easier to get seen later on again if problems should arise. If you cancel this appointment, it could be months before you can get another initial visit appointment.

[georgiegirl]

Definitely still go. If you don't, the problematic behaviors WILL come back again. Murphy's law.

[Sweetum]

in another life, I would've cancelled without asking for advice! But now, having gone through what we have with DS, I would err on the side caution. More importantly, was that the only reason for you to make the appointment? how about behavior at home? I agree that it could be months before you can get an appointment again. So, do go.

[happymomma]

I would go. Even things are going well..it is always good to go to the first appointment. After the initial appointment you would be consider a patient and not a new patient. So if you need to go again, you would be fine.

[mackmama]

I would also keep the appointment. Good to get in their system for future needs and also just to make the sure changes stay on track.

[lalasmama]

I'd keep it too.

DD has ADHD, and has good and bad days (not saying your child has ADHD, just sharing my thought process). Today, it's fantastic--she's playing well, she's polite, she's appropriate, she's making good choices, and controlling her impulses well. She has great days at school too. However, as a PP said, Murphy's Law--you cancel, and there will be some behavior that makes you go "hhhmmm". So, despite DD's good day today, and her good sleep last night, we are still going to the doctor today to discuss changing medication. Going to the eval will also open up the door in the future, in case there's another personality conflict with someone or such. And, my easily-freaked-out mommy-self likes having a professional I can call and ask things that could be embarrassing to ask on here about DD's behavior, or how I relate to DD. When we had a fantastic behavior specialist, I could call her with any question, and she was there with a sane, well-thought-out answer no matter the subject.

[PunkyBoo]

UPDATE: Thank you for your replies. I was worried that the evaluation would be emotionally trying but I'm so glad you all convinced me to keep the appointment. It went really well. The doctor told me they typically don't diagnose ADHD until the behaviors are affecting school work (she said usually age 6 or older) but she doesn't think Boo has it at this point. Boo had an expressive speech delay that he needed speech therapy for before he was 3, so she said he may seem more impulsive / aggressive than the norm when frustrated due to that. She told me he seems to be very bright, articulate, and charming :) and she also agreed that his previous preschool environment was not only not a good fit for him but not such a great program overall. She did give me some "tools for my toolbox" in dealing with him when he does get difficult.

Overall I'm so glad I kept the appointment- I agree that Murphy's Law of Parenting probably would have kicked in if I'd cancelled and he would have become a little monster to deal with (and even the dr. agreed and understood my motives in keeping the appt). As a worrier-mom it was a relief to hear my kid is OK, and I admit I feel vindicated that the previous preschool was causing a lot of the problem.

[MamaMolly]

Great update, and also proud you listened to your mama instincts!

[Jen841]

Nice update! Similar story here. Wrong mix, speech delay, etc. Family Therapist recommended karate and a speech and behavior EI eval. He was in the new teacher / not the best school but with speech, behavior therapy ( got him out of the classroom) and karate we only had 2 family therapy visits and he 'graduated' from his behavior therapy quickly. Speech took a while. I am proud to say he is almost a black belt now :)

[hillview]

awww how wonderful. thanks for updating. glad it went so well!

[georgiegirl]

Great update!!! Thanks for sharing.