WOHm tips for going back to work with a newborn and toddler

[marymoo86]

Need good tips on managing the chaos of woth with a 3yo and newborn. Dad will do drop off and I'll do p/u. It's tough now while I'm at home so can only imagine the difficulty and exhantion involved once back at work. I do have a cleaning service lined up.

Also a big complaint about 5k for child care for a family?? I had thought per child but that's another topic.

[Katigre]

1. Prepare everything possible the night before

2. Dress the 3yo in her clothes as pj's so there's one less thing to do in the morning rush.

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[BabyBearsMom]

It is really crazy but definitely do-able. I do everything possible the night before. We make lunches, pack the backpacks etc. DH gets up at 5:15 and I get up at 5:30 so we can be out the door by 6:45. We both try to get dressed and be ready to go ourselves before the kids wake up (once the kids wake up, it is impossible to get anything done). DH and I use a divide and conquer strategy in the mornings. I usually manage getting DD1 ready and he does DD2. Periodically one of them will demand a particular parent and we switch off but we dress both girls simultaneously. They get breakfast at school, so I don't try to make them eat anything at the table, but I do give both girls a waffle or english muffin or similar in the morning with a yogurt drink.

I think the keys are: 1) Having my stuff together before the girls wake up; 2) DH and I are a team in the mornings, no one sleeps in while the other one manages the kids.

Good luck, it is hard. And yes, the dependent care account limit is $5K per family not per child. It sucks, considering that I pay 5x that for my kids to be in full time daycare.

[wellyes]

I'm with you on the $5K thing, that's not even close to covering ONE kid! Some incentive.

[TxCat]

OP, our DC are almost the exact same ages.

Today is my third week back. It IS hard. We have a full-time nanny, which helps manage chaos significantly. However, DD1 is in preschool 2 1/2 days/week, so we have to deal with drop-offs and pick-ups on those mornings.

What helps:


- I save my showers for nighttime.
-I pack up all of my work stuff, pump and pumping supplies the night before. If I can, I even put the bag in the car the night before.
- my breakfast is prepped and ready to go in the microwave the night before. Also have started setting the timer on the coffee maker, which I had never used before but it's a necessity now.
- I take my breakfast to go, eat at work. Same thing with coffee.
- Baby's bottles are prepped the night before
- Fruit, veggies for DD1's lunch is prepped night before, as is her snack (yogurt, applesauce, or Cheerios ready to go in plastic ziplock bag). Only thing I have to do in the morning is make her sandwich and put ice water in her Funtainer.
- DD1's backpack/school stuff is all packed the night before.
- like BabyBearsMom, DH and I are a team in the mornings, usually taking charge of 1 kid each, changing them, feeding them, etc. DH makes DD1 breakfast while I nurse the baby, etc.
- for dinners, I have a rotation of about 4-5 recipes that I can make in about 30 minutes. On days where I have more time (ie, not working), I make two dinners so I have extra food ready to go on the nights that I work late, or I make a batch of whole wheat pancakes or healthy snack/breakfast foods like pumpkin or banana bread to have on hand to use for mornings where we are more pressed for time and need quick breakfasts (can freeze or refrigerate and reheat as needed).
- I try to start the dishwasher in the morning before I leave (if it's full), so I can empty it when I get home. Also I try to start the washing machine in the morning before I leave (filled it up during the night, then add kids' pajamas, etc. in the morning). Then I throw stuff in the dryer as soon as I get home, and it's ready after kids are in bed. And then it sits in a pile in the guest room. :)

[BabyBearsMom]

-I pack up all of my work stuff, pump and pumping supplies the night before. If I can, I even put the bag in the car the night before.


I totally blanked out the pumping part. I kept a pump at work so I wasn't lugging it back and forth. I also had 3 sets of pump parts so I didn't have to wash my pump parts at work (I pumped in my office and didn't like bring the parts into the kitchen or bathroom to wash in front of people). So glad to be done with pumping.

[TxCat]

I totally blanked out the pumping part. I kept a pump at work so I wasn't lugging it back and forth. I also had 3 sets of pump parts so I didn't have to wash my pump parts at work (I pumped in my office and didn't like bring the parts into the kitchen or bathroom to wash in front of people). So glad to be done with pumping.

Pumping is exhausting. I have two sets of pump parts (at least one set is clean and ready to go), and I've just been refrigerating the used parts at work in a clean ziplock inside my insulated bag and reuse them through the day - then cleaned and sterilized at home each night, and ziplock gets tossed or rinsed out and reused for something else (usually DD1's snack bag since the teachers never save those anyways).

[janine]

I agree on 5K - so insulting and I never hear these topics discussed around election time.the commuter tax break is another one that seems to be constantly on the chopping block. There should be breaks for those who are working and trying to do the right things! Ok....sorry for the tangent..

On the other topics, I had kids the same age as you when DD2 was born. I ended up staying up very late each night to prep, I did drag the pump back and forth (you get used to it)..but having 2 is great too but in my office there is NO space to store! I had no maid but I did have my mom helping with pick up/drop offs and watching the baby (and helping with meals). That was HUGE. If you can get someone to help, family or otherwise, that would be my suggestion. Glad your DH is able to help too, mine was not with his schedule for pick up/drop offs. Good luck, it's tough but doable!!

[twowhat?]

If you're pumping, you need to keep a set of pump parts at work! As in, an extra set in case you forget stuff from home!

Keep an extra change of clothes in the car for YOU. (assume that kids have an extra change of clothes available in their school bag)

Breakfast at work - I did a lot of instant oatmeal and kept cereal at my desk at work. This is assuming it's OK for you to eat as you work over your computer. I found this much easier than trying to feed myself before the kids woke up because there was no way I could eat once they were awake.

Agree with dressing kids in clean, comfy play clothes the night before.

Agree with showering at night - showering in the morning is a logistical nightmare with little kids ("Will they wake up before I'm done"?) and I like to enjoy my showers so I take them once everyone is in bed.

Pack the car the night before.

Keep a clean-up kit in the car. A pad to do diaper changes on, a BIG pack of wipes, plastic bags, hand sanitizer, BIG box of tissues, and even a spray bottle of Nature's Miracle:). Because one day someone will have a blowout in the carseat on the drive to daycare.

And on the 5K - I thought FOR SURE it had to be per child so both DH and I took the 5K!!! Ugh, then we had to clean up that mess. 5K lasts us not even 2 months. It's ridiculous.

[AshUVA]

For pumping at work, I use the Medela Quick Clean Wipes (http://www.amazon.com/Quick-Clean-Breastpump-Accessory-Wipes/dp/B000CCXLNE). Walgreen's is usually the cheapest place to get them. I would wipe out the parts between uses and then take everything home at night to sterlize. I also only use two bottles throughout the day and dump the milk into the plastic bags to freeze or take to day care then leave the empty bottles in the fridge until the next pumping session. This way, I only have to wash two bottles at night.

[AnnieW625]

DH drops off and I pick up.

I do my best to leave the house by 6:45, but with traffic taking an hour now (I went 22 miles in one hour today!:shake:) I am going to push back to 6:30 first and then 6:15, but probably closer to 6 am if it is still taking me an hour to get to work.

What I do the night before:

we alternate showers and bath, it just works easier (some nights it will be three days without a bath or shower)

set aside clothes, if clothes are dirty do a load of wash and make sure it gets into the dryer before bed.

My kids like to wear nightgowns or pjs to bed and I have never once thought to put them in regular clothes. If they have an accident it is more clothes to clean (DD1 was in P/Us at night until she was 5/1/2. DD2 has been accident free for the most part, but still, not my cup of tea).

Until DDs were about 2 they went to school in their footsie or sleep n play like pjs.

What we need to do the night before:
make lunches, we were better about this in kindergarten, but have slacked off a bit. Thankfully we only have to provide lunch for DD1, breakfast, lunch, and snacks are included for DD2.

What we do in the AM:
double check the clothes (DD1 has three uniforms she wears weekly, one mass uniform, pe x2, and shorts and polo x2)--we have yet to mess up, but some parents have had issues with it.

make lunches

Breakfast selection include: mini bagels (DD1 can make her own, usually), DD2 likes Nutella on white bread (I know, BBB card should be revoked immediately!), Clif Z Bar, Trader Joe's fig bar (the only kind DD1 will eat), cheese stick, extra leftover smoothie (for DD1, DD2 isn't huge on smoothies, but does like Silk Protein berry drink), or if they are up and dressed by 7 am Trader Joe's Steel Cut Oatmeal (this is rare though).

DH and sometimes the kids if they are dressed and ready to go feed the dog.

DH puts the backpacks, his lunch, and his gym bag in the car while he is brewing his coffee, and toasting his bagel. The girls are usually all dressed by then. DD1 dresses herself, and DD2 is getting better, but most days DH has to wake up DD2 still, put her on the potty and get her dressed.

DH waked up at 5:45 and leaves the house by 7:30 or 7:40 at the latest most days. I am just amazed at how much he can get done in the morning. He does it so much better than I do and I do pick up and dinner way better than he does (he'll admit it too) so I like our schedule.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

i went back to work when my younest was 19mo, so no input on the pumping etc or whatnot. but i agree with most of the points ppl have already said

Shower at night...YES. good lord I cannot imagine showering in the morning. at least when DH is not there as well.
Pack lunches etc the night before - YES. that includes your own lunch, which i would often forget to do the night before. i have everything ready to go so i just need to shove in the lunchbox with an icepack.
Divide and Conquer - YES. i would have clobbered my DH to death by now if he just left me to do everything while he slept in, or did whatever. as it is, dh has been traveling for 7 weeks and it is much, much much harder to get kiddos ready in the morning without him. i get to work later, i am more exhausted/frustrated, etc. i can imagine with a newborn and a toddler you really need two sets of hands.

i would set my alarm for a good half hour before kids wake up. ,but i am finding it harder and harder to do that with dh gone and ds coming into the bed late at night, so when i get up out of bed he gets scared etc and stats looking for me. but on the days i can wake up a solid half hour before the kids, it is a lot better.

[TxCat]

A couple of things I forgot...

So far, I have been bad about bringing my lunch to work - if I have time, I try to make something and pack it the night before but I've only been averaging that about 50% of the time. Otherwise I buy lunch at work - there are healthy options and it saves me a lot of time, which is what I value most right now. Hopefully I'll find the time to pack my lunches again once DD2 is a better sleeper.

I've found that I need to get up at least 30 minutes earlier than I used to, to get everything done now. I've pushed it to 15-20 minutes a few times, and it's just not enough. Really, 30-40 minutes is what I've found to be necessary to get everything done and not feel insanely rushed.