Quick WWYD?

[petesgirl]

I made dinner tonight for a family with a new baby. I had to take my sister to the airport so DH took dinner over at the agreed upon time. No answer. He texted the man, who said his wife was home but didn't want to answer the door. Says he will stop by on his way home from work in about 20 mins. So he should have been here an hour ago. Lights are on at the house and his car is home but we can't get a hold of either of them. I could just go over again but don't really want to if they aren't going to answer. I'm sad that their dinner is just sitting here getting cold... WWYD?

[Tondi G]

That's really odd. I would take it over if you see his car. If they don't answer the door then let it go. Put the meal in the fridge and enjoy it yourself tomorrow.

[georgiegirl]

Strange. I had a similar experience and left the meal with the dad. Never got a thank you note or confirmation email.

[barkley1]

That's really odd. I would take it over if you see his car. If they don't answer the door then let it go. Put the meal in the fridge and enjoy it yourself tomorrow.

I would do this. That is REALLY weird. Sorry you went to all that trouble! :(

[Pennylane]

I would put it in my fridge and forget not worry about it. Sounds like you are going through a lot of trouble to try and do something nice and they don't really care.

Ann

[ett]

I would put it in the fridge and send another text saying they can contact you if they want to pick it up today. I wouldn't go over to their house again.

[BabyBearsMom]

THe mom was probably nursing when your DH stopped by and didn't want to flash your DH. Her DH probably got home and is trying to give his wife some relief after a hard day with a newborn. I would probably try to stop by one more time and if they still didn't answer put the dinner in the fridge.

[petesgirl]

THe mom was probably nursing when your DH stopped by and didn't want to flash your DH. Her DH probably got home and is trying to give his wife some relief after a hard day with a newborn. I would probably try to stop by one more time and if they still didn't answer put the dinner in the fridge.


This is what I am trying to tell myself, because life with a newborn IS crazy. But I would appreciate a text at least. I spent all day making them dinner instead of spending time with my sis who was in from out of town, held DS's bath and bedtime up thinking they were coming....but it doesn't matter now because the husband just texted to say he would be over in 30 mins, so it will be all taken care of. :)

[jerseygirl07067]

This is what I am trying to tell myself, because life with a newborn IS crazy. But I would appreciate a text at least. I spent all day making them dinner instead of spending time with my sis who was in from out of town, held DS's bath and bedtime up thinking they were coming....but it doesn't matter now because the husband just texted to say he would be over in 30 mins, so it will be all taken care of. :)

Glad that worked out!!

[twowhat?]

Glad it worked out! I was going to suggest texting the Dad with something like "OK to drop it off on your porch at XX time?" assuming it's cold outside where you are. his wife probably begged him to come home first because she needed help so he couldn't stop by to pick up the dinner after work as planned.

So nice of you to help out!

[petesgirl]

Ok, he just came and got it. And he was very appreciative so I am letting go of my annoyances and feeling glad that I could help.

[TwinFoxes]

Ok, he just came and got it. And he was very appreciative so I am letting go of my annoyances and feeling glad that I could help.

A happy ending. :)

[ha98ed14]

Maybe it's been too long since I had a newborn, but I think the woman is rude not to answer the door. She's home. Why should you have to made a second trip? Did she want you to leave it on the front porch? If so, someone should have texted and said, "If Sally can't make it to the door, please just leave it on the porch." If the raccoons get it, their loss.

I've brought several meals to families with new babies through church. We actually have someone who coordinate this. In all my runs, it has always been the DH that meets me in the driveway. I call when I am leaving; DHs are there when I pulled up, and say thank you. Once I was invited in to see the new baby, but I never asked and no one else ever invited, which I TOTALLY get.

Sorry, I think she was rude.

[blisstwins]

Maybe it's been too long since I had a newborn, but I think the woman is rude not to answer the door. She's home. Why should you have to made a second trip? Did she want you to leave it on the front porch? If so, someone should have texted and said, "If Sally can't make it to the door, please just leave it on the porch." If the raccoons get it, their loss.

I've brought several meals to families with new babies through church. We actually have someone who coordinate this. In all my runs, it has always been the DH that meets me in the driveway. I call when I am leaving; DHs are there when I pulled up, and say thank you. Once I was invited in to see the new baby, but I never asked and no one else ever invited, which I TOTALLY get.

Sorry, I think she was rude.

She could have been in pain, she could be sad, she could be depressed or overwhelmed, she could be embarrassed about how she looks, she might not have realized who it was. Given that they came over and got the meal and did not ask OP to come back to redeliver and they were appreciative I would just decide that this is exactly why making meals for new moms/families is a great thing. They are not functioning normally. Under normal circumstances I totally agree with you, however.

[twowhat?]

She could have been in pain, she could be sad, she could be depressed or overwhelmed, she could be embarrassed about how she looks, she might not have realized who it was. Given that they came over and got the meal and did not ask OP to come back to redeliver and they were appreciative I would just decide that this is exactly why making meals for new moms/families is a great thing. They are not functioning normally. Under normal circumstances I totally agree with you, however.

Yeah, this. We even started telling people NOT to visit us in the hospital when the babies were born. I just simply couldn't handle it...and definitely didn't feel like visitors at home either for while. I was weepy, in pain, etc.

Definitely agree the DH could've texted to say please leave on the porch, given that they knew you were making a trip out there. But they probably felt bad about not receiving the meal in person, and of course no one really thinks straight with a newborn. Glad the DH made the trip to pick up the food and everyone was happy! :)

[newnana]

So glad it worked out, I’m sure they very much appreciate your fabulous meal and generosity!

After having DD, I sat down on our low rider couch one night to nurse her. It was probably day 2 at home. When we finished, I realized with terror that I could NOT get up. Hot searing pain from my tear/stitches. Ensue full on panic. If DH had not been home or in ear shot I don’t know what I would have done. It was the first time I had been on that couch and realized without the arms of my fabulous rocker or the height of the other couch I couldn’t push up.

In my panic, lack of sleep, hormone induced crazy, I don’t know what I would have done if the door was ringing and DH wasn’t home if something like that was happening. I try really hard to keep stuff like that in mind when these sort of things happen. Normally I’d find it odd and rude, but first few weeks are not normal, at least for me.

[lovin2shop]

I had a group that did meals for me every night for two weeks M-F. While I was very appreciative of the gesture, I was a nervous wreck during the process! DH was not home to get the meals, and I felt like I had to be presentable and my house had to be presentable. Plus, almost every single person wanted to come in and meet the baby, and the drop off times were all over the map and often interrupted nursing. I had about 20 different dishes/utensils to keep track of and return. And the final kicker is that every single meal except one was pasta with tomato sauce. I still get stressed thinking about it! I never make meals for anyone anymore, I just send gift cards!

[AnnieW625]

THe mom was probably nursing when your DH stopped by and didn't want to flash your DH. Her DH probably got home and is trying to give his wife some relief after a hard day with a newborn. I would probably try to stop by one more time and if they still didn't answer put the dinner in the fridge.
:yeahthat: nothing seems weird about it or maybe they were getting some much needed rest. I would call the mom this AM and schedule a new delivery time. Good luck.

[KrisM]

I had a group that did meals for me every night for two weeks M-F. While I was very appreciative of the gesture, I was a nervous wreck during the process! DH was not home to get the meals, and I felt like I had to be presentable and my house had to be presentable. Plus, almost every single person wanted to come in and meet the baby, and the drop off times were all over the map and often interrupted nursing. I had about 20 different dishes/utensils to keep track of and return. And the final kicker is that every single meal except one was pasta with tomato sauce. I still get stressed thinking about it! I never make meals for anyone anymore, I just send gift cards!

Ugh. Does not sound fun! Our group makes it that you have to use throw-away utensils, which just makes sense. And we tell the new-mom they pick the drop off time. I did have one person order me a delivered cheese pizza, which I was not impressed with. It wasn't enough to feed us, had no sides, and was something I could have easily done myself.

[ett]

Maybe it's been too long since I had a newborn, but I think the woman is rude not to answer the door. She's home. Why should you have to made a second trip? Did she want you to leave it on the front porch? If so, someone should have texted and said, "If Sally can't make it to the door, please just leave it on the porch." If the raccoons get it, their loss.

I've brought several meals to families with new babies through church. We actually have someone who coordinate this. In all my runs, it has always been the DH that meets me in the driveway. I call when I am leaving; DHs are there when I pulled up, and say thank you. Once I was invited in to see the new baby, but I never asked and no one else ever invited, which I TOTALLY get.

Sorry, I think she was rude.

I'm glad everything worked out and that the husband picked up the food. There could be so many reasons the wife did not answer the door - it could be as simple as she was doing a diaper change or in the bathroom. I don't think she's rude and I'm sure they're very appreciative of the food.

[petesgirl]

OP here--

I don't think they were trying to be rude at all. I was annoyed for reasons relating to my own life, not theirs. When we offered to bring a meal we asked if Tuesday or Thursday would be best. I left out Wednesday because I already had a full schedule that day--DS's dr appt that morning, taking my sister to the airport right around dinner time and I just didn't know if I could swing a nice dinner that night. But they responded asking if we could bring dinner Wednesday. We decided we could but we would have to drop if off early (around 4) or later (closer to 6). They said 4 would be just fine, so we went with it.
Now, when the man came to get the food he explained that his wife had a C-section was already upstairs in bed when my DH dropped by and didn't feel like coming back downstairs. That's fine, I understand. And her DH says he just got really busy with work and couldn't make it until around 9:00 to pick up the food. All of that is fine. It was just hard not knowing; and I admit I felt a little like they really didn't care about all the trouble we had gone to (which of course they didn't know about).

I always take everything in disposable dishes (not pretty, but so nice to not worry about returning things!) and I think that when someone brings you a meal you should be grateful for whatever you get--even if you have eaten it 3 days in a row! Chances are people who bring you dinner don't coordinate with each other and each dinner is a representation of someone's time, money, and desire to serve you and your family. That's what we teach our children when they get gifts from others--that the gift itself isn't as important as the thought behind it. If you really don't want meals, or visitors or don't want to deal with someone else's food then just decline the offer and say you will let them know if you need anything. Those are my 2 cents. :waving4:

[123LuckyMom]

I agree with you. It's very important to express gratitude and to be mindful that other people may have sacrificed quite a bit to try to help you on your timeline. It was VERY nice of you to help out! Next time, if the family asks for a day that will be difficult, let them know that's not the best day. Then it might not irk you as much if the exchange doesn't go so smoothly. Another option is to leave the dinner on their doorstep and call on the phone (or send a text, whichever is most likely to be seen/heard soon) letting them know it's there. Reheating is no big deal for them, and then you don't need to be inconvenienced.